Hmm...
Mr. Noakes makes some good points, and I had already started writing
something similar, so I'm just gonna add my two cents, if I please.
First, like Mr. Noakes, I see this Ranko as...too girly. Overly girly,
even. One of the big points, I believe in the early parts of the story was
that the reason Ranma always made it known that he was a man was because he
didn't know what he was, apparently. Well, so he overcompensated. Well, I
found that Ranko, in GD, way way way overcompensated to be a girl. She
never laughs, she always giggles. She loves shopping immediately. (No
offense, anyone. I like to shop too, but that's a different story.) She
learns to wear makeup, dresses, act like a girl, etc, etc.
Now that's all fine...if it had happened over the whole story. But it
didn't. It happened way to quickly, and I was really turned off to this
portrayal. Okay, so she wants to please her mother. And she does,
instantly! It makes no sense. Ranko just spent ten years as a guy in this
story. Habits don't change overnight. Older men and women still bite their
nails. People develop a smoking habit? They're not quitting that night,
they have to deal with the addiction. And in this case, s/he's been a guy
for ten years, grown up as a male, and lived as a male. It's just not
believable, I'm sorry to say.
In addition, I found the basic giving up of martial arts to require
further suspension of belief. Ranma had been practicing for so long the Art
is a part of what he is. Losing that would have made the changes worse, and
it wasn't his father who really pushed him...if he didn't love the Art, he
wouldn't be as good in the first place. If I didn't enjoy photography, I
wouldn't take pictures. If my friends didn't like theater, they wouldn't
act. It becomes a part of one's self to a point where if it's taken from
you, you feel as though someone has ripped out your heart and ate it with a
side dish of gagh. I did like the violin idea, it makes sense, and many
martial artists do also play an instrument. I've written him as playing a
type of Japanese wind instrument as a focus sometimes. But to me, one of
the main characteristics of Ranma, boy or girl-type, is that he/she loves
the art, and despite what he says, would give up being a man to pursue it.
He wouldn't give it up to pursue being a girl.
My biggest critique though, lies in the fact that there really wasn't
any reason to read all the way through this. It's not a comment on the
actual writing, which is good, and good writing can often save a not-so-good
fic. It's just that while I can suspend belief enough to see space battles
in Star Wars, I found that Ranko's conversion and troubles just weren't
interesting. It happens too fast, with too little conflict, and with too
little action on her part. Also, like I said above, in GD, Ranko/ma says
that he never felt right as a guy. Well, now he found out that he really
isn't, and that it was all a lie caused by magic. His confidence as a male
should have been much less than his confidence as a girl, and it's not. As
a male he brought excitement, challenges, and suspense; as Ranko, she buys
dresses. Canon Ranma just wouldn't seem to turn into this snivelling girl
at this big a challenge, he'd take it on. If he comes to accept that he's a
girl, excellent. Even if he doesn't, there's a lot of soul searching and
he'll come out of it more tempered and aware of his own limitations and
abilities, not to mention wiser.
----------------------------------
Jerry / Patch Monkey
Lord of Darkness, Brenin of Light
Reverend of the ULC
maddhatter@earthling.net jlevine@wam.umd.edu
http://maddhatter.cjb.net
"You can find true love in the Konan Empire,
but no fast food." - Miaka's Lesson
Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm a man of wealth and
taste. I've been around for many years, and I've
stolen many a man's soul and faith. Hope you can
guess my name.