The Mazoku's Apprentice presents:
Another Sick, Twisted Idea...
Ranma 1/2: The WHAT-Ken!?
****************
Everything was going as usual in the Tendo residence. The youngest
member of the household, Tendo Akane, was in the dojo breaking bricks
(and imagining the faces of several boys on them as she did). Her older
sister, Nabiki, was currently reading manga in her room. The eldest girl
in the household, Kasumi, was busy washing dishes and planning the
family's next meal. The girls' father, Soun Tendo, was currently reading
the newspaper.
Something had to happen.
!!!!!!!!*BLAM*!!!!!!!!!
The incredibly loud sound of the front door slamming VERY hard was
heard by everyone in the house, the entirety of whom were unpleasantly
startled. Akane lost concentration in the middle of a strike, and
proceeded to sprain her hand on the cinder block she was about to break.
Kasumi found herself looking down at the shattered dinner plate she had
been washing, desperately wishing she had something to chop up. Nabiki
was frozen in shock, holding two halves of the manga she _had_ been
reading. Soun, in surprise, had _swallowed_ his cigarette, and was now
disturbing the koi by drinking a good portion of their habitat.
"HiTendonicetoseeyoubeenawhileyougottahidemeHE'SGONNAKILLME!!!" was the
almost-indecipherable message being spouted by the overweight man who
just dashed into the room like his ass was on fire.
Pulling his head out of the koi pond, Soun eyed the man who had just
entered their home with a dark look. His Glare-o'-Doom was lightened the
instant he noticed who the man was.
"Saotome! It's good to see you! Where have you been?"
"Nevermind that, Tendo! Get me a glass of cold water, FAST!"
Kasumi, already plotting the downfall of the man who disturbed HER
home, decided to make it a cold, patient vengeance, and be nice to
him... for now.
"Thank you, Kasumi. Now, Genma my old friend, care telling me what this
is all about?"
"Yes, Genma, please tell me what this is about" shouted three rather
irate females, who had just entered the room.
"Well, I-" Genma was cut off from his reply as several large,
claw-mark-shaped dents appeared in the door. It held, thanks to the
armored plating it had received (to keep those damned aggresive
Jehovah's Witnesses away).
"What the-?" "Don't worry, Tendo, I have the situation in hand now." As
he said this, he opened the door.
Behind the door was a boy, about 16 years of age. He was hunched over,
arms in front of him and hands in the classic 'preying mantis' position,
and was currently eyeing Genma with a predatory gleam in his eyes.
Snarling, he lunged at Genma, who dodged the boy and splashed him with
the glass of cold water he was been holding. The 'boy' promptly turned
into a very buxom, very _unconscious_ redhead.
"...I suppose there's some explanation for this?" asked a rather shaken
Soun.
"*sigh* Yes, there is, Tendo. This is my son Ranma, and as for his
strange behavior, it all begins with a training manual in martial arts
techniques..."
====flashback scene here====
Genma finished looking over the first few pages of the first chapter in
the training manual. He was VERY interested in this technique, and was
already thinking of ways to get the necessary materials for the
training. He already knew how to dig a pit, but where to get the
cats...?
====interrupt flashback scene====
"Hold on, Saotome. There's no way you could have trained this kid in a
technique involving cats. The only cats I've ever heard of are the pets
of a few rich people on Tarsonis. There's no way you could have gotten
hold of _a_ cat, let alone _many_cats_, on Chau Sara."
"I was just about to get to that."
====flashback scene, cont'd====
Thinking over his dilemma, Genma Saotome was currently walking with his
son through a city, when a news report appeared on the broadcast screens
in the tech shop they were passing...
"This just in, Confederate colony Mar Sara has just been attacked by a
strange unidentified alien species. Confederate forces have already
moved to put down the invasion, and have so far been successful. The
planet has been put under quarantine; however, there may already be some
of the creatures on other, nearby colonies."
A few short clips showing details of the invaders: one, a strange,
small creature with wicked-looking scythe-like claws on its forearms
attacking a transport; another creature, looking like a demonic snake
with arms, was shooting spikes from its head at a tanker; yet another, a
giant, hulking behemoth flying through the air very slowly - not
attacking, but apparently coordinating the efforts of several of the
other two types of creatures.
"If any sign of these cratures appears in your area, please contact-"
Genma didn't bother listening to the rest of the newscast. He
remembered seeing a strange, organic-looking structure on the way to the
city. Grabbing his son, Genma raced back to the structure, thinking that
perhaps he had found something BETTER than cats to use in the
training...
*two weeks later*
Genma was currently tying his son up in Ursadon sausages, ignoring the
frightened pleas from his son.
"But I don't wanna go in there! Papa, please!!!"
"Quit acting like a girl, Ranma. Now get in there!"
"NO!!!"
*five hours later*
Genma is starting to get worried about his son; Ranma hadn't come out
of the creatures' burrow-hole for quite awhile. He lifted the cover he
had placed on the hole and yelled inside, "Ranma! Are you okay in there,
boy?
His only reply was an invisible "claw"-slash across the face from his
son.
====end flashback====
"*shudder* It took an industrial-strength bio-stasis field to return
him to normal the first time."
"Ah, the path of a martial artist is fraught with peril. But, how come
Ranma turned into a girl when you threw that water on him?"
"Well, ah, you see, we didn't exactly have the- um- *ahem* funds to pay
for the bio-stasis treatment, so the scientists at the hospital used him
for- *ahem* - experiments, and, well, this is the result."
"Genma, that's terrible!"
"Well, it has its upsides and its downsides. On the plus side, his
'condition' can be reversed with hot water- but only until the next time
he's hit with cold water. Also, the shock from the change jolts him out
of his 'feral state'."
"Ahh, I've been meaning to ask, what is the name of this technique?"
"Well, the original technique which called for cats is called the
'Neko-ken'. But, I suppose you could call this other version the
'Zerg-ken'. He goes into it whenever he is exposed to a large number of
Zerg at once."
*************************
Note from the Author:
This was just a twisted idea that came to me after too many hours of
playing Starcraft and drinking JOLT through an IV. Don't kill me.
No, I'm serious, DON'T KILL ME!