Hookay:
Overall, I liked the fic, but I just wouldn't be myself if I didn't point
out a few
things...

   Point away!

>     Since his first trip to China, Ranma's life was a never-ending
>battle. If it wasn't Kunou or Ryouga challenging him, it was some
>supernatural creature or other... minor demons, ghost cats, people who'd
>fallen in Jusenkyou springs where something really bizarre had drowned.
>None of them had ever been a serious threat; even Ryouga and Tarou,
>probably the most powerful of the lot, seldom came close to winning.

You forgot about Rouge-statue. She was much more powerful than
Tarou-monster, not to mention Ranma

   The problems with not (yet) having a complete manga collection:
there are bound to be inconsistencies. n.n;
   Well, chalk that one up at least partly to Ranma's ego (he's
tried to forget it happened?)

>     He had the power of...well, of a _god_, healing faster than Ranma
>could hurt him, slinging incredible bolts of phoenix-flame.  In the end,
>though, he'd gone down to defeat.  Barely.
>     In the end...to save Akane's life, Ranma had had to cross a line
>he'd hoped never to come near.  He'd killed the phoenix-god, practically
>ripped him apart bare-handed.

Saffaron wasn't a god. He was close, but Ranma interrupted the
transformation.

   Just because a god doesn't have access to and/or total control
of his full power at the moment, doesn't mean he's not a god. :)

>     And then Kasumi left for medical school, and everything fell apart.
>     Doctor Tofu's clientele doubled, but that was only to be expected...
>the problems began when the issue of homemaking came up.  Kasumi had done
>nearly all the cooking and cleaning for the Tendos and their houseguests
>for years; now she was gone and others would have to cope

Wouldn't Nodoka take over Kasumi's duties?

   Busy at the (rebuilt) Saotome home, and wanted Akane to
learn to be a housewife (yeah right).

>     To maintain their newfound harmony, Ranma tried to teach Akane to
>cook. Gods, how he'd tried... for three months they'd slaved over the
>stove, her frustration and his disbelief growing as Akane proved totally
>unable to follow even the simplest recipe.

By the Phoneix saga Akane _was_ able to cook eidable food
 (note the Ryugenzawa saga curry- it was quite normal)

   Here's where anime and real life collide in an unusual manner:
real life is WEIRDER.
   In RL, I'm a chef.  (Well, a cook at least.)  And I've had
personal experience with _two_ real-life Anticooks.
   I mean, these people were _dangerous_.  Throughout an entire
semester of Basic Baking, despite constant oversight and cajoling
from one of the best teachers I've ever had, the first one simply
_never_ followed a recipe as written--she _had_ to try to 'improve'
everything she made, and those improvements were without exception
unbelievably bad.  The muffins were the worst--she substituted
nutmeg for blueberry, in such huge quantities as to be seriously
poisonous to humans.  (And pigs.  The teacher knew a pig farmer.
The pigs _would not eat_ those muffins.  You think I'm kidding,
don't you?  I WISH I were kidding.)
   And as for the other... "If it takes an hour at 350 degrees,
it should only take _half_ an hour at 700!"  Need I say more?
   So I can say with dead certainty that simple lack of skill,
talent, and patience isn't enough to qualify you as anything more
than a _bad_ cook.  True Anticook nature is something far
harder to deal with.  As far as I can tell it's a deeply-rooted
neurosis, one that NO amount of training will EVER shake loose.
If you have a pathological inability to follow a recipe, the only
thing that'll help is _therapy_, which Akane just isn't getting.
In fact, Ranma's efforts to help her would almost certainly only
make things worse, so by this point she's lost whatever ground
she might have gained.
   In short: I refuse to believe that Akane _could_ have
improved as much as she did by the end of the series.  It's just
not... realistic. n.n;
   I will, however, allow the curry exception--because it
seems to be universal among anime anticooks (though not the
real-life variety).  Usagi and Minako can manage curry if they're
careful...of course, Usagi only qualifies as 'bad' by my
standards, but Minako is right up there with Akane.
   (Mike Maxwell, from "American Wizard in Queen Beryl's Court",
is an Anticook himself, although unlike most he's fully aware of his
problem and goes to a support group.  Unfortunately he hates curry...)
   Akane is REAL, folks.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

>     Akane pulled her giant mallet out of hammerspace and bashed Ranma
>across the lawn.  He landed roughly in a well-lit corner, his head
>smashing into the mysterious object.  Something inside it went *click.*

The Unit activates almost instantly- it would've started when Ranma
pried it from the ground.

   There's a fair amount of variation on this... Lisker's Unit
didn't even wait for anyone to _touch_ it, for one thing.  (Although
the Kronos troopers seem to have been able to carry it back to HQ
with no problems.)  I borrowed a bit from the movie (shame on me), in
which Sean's armor only activates when his head gets smashed into the
medallion.  Looking back at manga chapter 1, it certainly could have
been triggered by Sho, unseen by the viewer, fingering the medal...

>     Ranma stiffened and stopped moving.  Akane ripped at the creature,
>then let go as it began to secrete a mild acid, burning her hands.

Acid? I don't have all volumes of the manga, but I don't remember
the units being able to secrete acid.

   Right, I just came up with that as a moderately logical
way for the Unit to protect itself during the bonding process.
(If not for that, Akane WOULD have been able to rip it off, and
then where would the story be?)

>     Even in her panic, Akane's sensitive ears did not fail. She spun to
>face the intruder, hyperdimensional hammer in hand.

Akane doesn't use the hammer as a weapon. How could you use
that thing as a weapon?

   Has she ever hit anyone with that thing who wasn't some
kind of martial artist?  Anyway, it could at the very least
be used to knock him halfway to Shinjuku and buy time to
prepare for a return appearance.  (Tendou-ryuu Secret Technique:
put your enemy somewhere else while you think up ways to deal
with him. :)
   And, as far as my Ranmafics are concerned, the hammer
is a genuine, material, giant wooden sledgehammer with a spell
on it to pop it in and out of 'hammerspace'.  (The same applies
to everything but Mousse's weapons; he uses his own ki to manage
the stuff.)  This will be further elaborated on in another
series, the megacrossover "The Masters of Hammerspace", starring
Mousse and Jerry Steiner.
   Incidentally, this universe's Kronos is well aware of the
existence of magic and ki-powers; however Arkanfael distrusts
magic, so Kronos's research in that area is limited to defenses,
and why bother putting a soldier through ten years of training
to shoot fireballs when you can pop him in a tank for two-three
days and turn him into a Vamore or Menzel?

>     "I hope you're right.  If we don't recover at least one Unit-G
>before Lord Arkanfael awakens... we're both dead men."  _But if we do,_
>Guyot thought, _I'll make sure Arkanfael never sees the light of day
>again!_
>     _We all thought there were only three Units on Earth..._
>     _What in hell are they going to do with #twenty# of the damned
>things?_

And what do they do every night Guyot? Try to take over the World!

Nicely written, again... Although,if I were in Guyot's skin, I would be
very afraid. 10 Guyvers would probably have a chance to destroy
Chronos. With 20 of them,and  one given to a prototype Zoalord...
Can you say destruction? I knew you could!

   Of course, if Guyot knew just how powerful Arkanfael really is,
he wouldn't be worrying about _fifty_ Guyvers.  Of course, he'd
be way too busy worrying about Arky at that point.
   (In Volume 15, in a prehistory flashback, Arkanfael destroys
a planetoid the size of the _MOON_ in one mighty blow...)

>     Expect to see some _weird_ stuff with the Guyvers.  If they adapt to
>suit their hosts, what happens if the host is a highly trained,
>incredibly dangerous martial artist who could defeat Zoanoids _without_
>the armor...?

Finally! Someone notices that the Nerimians could kill zoanoids without
the armour (basically, guyver Sho in chapter 4, manga 1 is less destructive
than Ryouga or Shampoo .(about the same strenght, but no martial arts
training)) Now just give the armour to Ryouga...

   Yep...and I'm also having it adapt itself to the hosts'
fighting styles (and, in several instances, psychological states).
_And_ it'll amplify their ki-powers to some extent.
   So Kunou--Ikazuchi no Guyver--will essentially be wearing a
twisted biotech samurai o-yoroi...and have conscious control over his
ability to call lightning...
   Ryouga will be damn near indestructible (and will have
clips on his shoulders to hold the umbrella :)...
   ...and let's not even talk about Bara no Guyver and her
armor's reservoirs of custom-designed toxins and hallucinogens...

Again, besides these minor faults, the fic is quite nice, and I hope the
next
parts will be out soon.

   Not too likely I'm afraid... n.n;  American Wizard has
highest priority just now, then SDW Guyver, then the first
chapters of several _other_ series (Tiger of Dreams, Martial
Taskforce Curserangers, Zx3 Eyes, The Masters of Hammerspace).
Then I can get back to this... (juggling way too many eggs
here...wait, they're chainsaws!  On fire!  AIEE!)

Thanks,
--Sam
  "That cow's tasted human blood!"
__   _                                                                 _
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\  /  Makoto--Ai--Yuuki - CoC OtE SA+RM L5R <*> - MARS NEEDS JADEITE! |
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