"FIREBALL!!", by Lina's standards the fireball was pitifully
weak, only strong enough to blow up a small group of bandits.
However to the boomers it was a huge blast. They didn't even
I don't buy it. Lina's fireballs do not cause the kind of
destruction that would suggest that they could take out a boomer
in one shot, particularly when weakened. Further, if she had to
work a little harder, the story would be more interesting.
The Outriders where felling Lucky today. Someone just entered
their territory and she looked fairly rich, after all only the rich have
"were feeling lucky" Comma splice.
control of the world. Unlike the other staffs this world is totally
seperated from ours."
"separated"
"Not again another world."
Missing punctuation.
Xellos is being very badly written.
Meanwhile at the Silky Doll, the Knight Sabers were having
a briefing on the two boomers Lina destroyed."What could possibly
destroy two boomers that fast?" asked Nene. "I don't know, but
>from the blast radius I would say a big and heavy Howitzer."
Change paragraphs for new speakers. "howitzer"
At the same time in Quincy's office there is a similar
conversation. "What type of weapon destroyed two of our new C-
Tense confusion. And by the way, just what were those boomers
doing? In every instance of a fake rampage, the boomers were
actually accomplishing something, so what was there objective
here?
"You're joking right?", asked Priss, "Some Outrider comes
to you and Dailey claiming a boomer killed its gang?"
"Daley". And what's so odd about that? Priss's boyfriend died
just that way.
Breaking the fourth wall isn't as funny as you think it is.