Hello!
Hi, Morgan!
Well, here we are yet again, right?
Well, it seems I arrived right on time. One more day and I'd have missed the
next chapter of one of my favourite series. So I'll leave my backlog mail
aside (people, go on "vacation" mode when you leave town!) and try to send
some constructive comments. If that fails, witticisms will have to
suffice--but you seem to like the stuff, so I guess it's okay. ^_^
As always, I shall take this oppurtunity
to beg for C&C, and thus get it out of the way as soon as possible. Please
feel free to drop me a line, people! Let me know how you think I'm doing
so
far, and such. All you gotta do is just press the "Reply" button and cross
your fingers. ^_~
Let it not be said that I do not heed the pleas of a desperate heart.
Oh, and of course earlier parts to this series are available on my web
page,
at http://dataraven_659.tripod.com/roninsummer.html and
at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Underworld/4709/roninsummer1.html
Go there, people, be wise. From the first sentence Morgan wrote in that
original Ronin Summer to the last one in Flashback (the last story arc
before Dark Crusade), the story will have you on the edge of your seat,
hanging on every word. Good stuff, FFMLers!
However, if you want earlier chapters of Dark Crusade, you'll have to ask
me
personally, and I'll send you a copy. Or, if that's too much trouble, go
to http://www.geocities.com/animecrossovers/ and check it out on
Joy Lyn's Crossover Corner. ^_^
Went there, and I have to say I found lots of good fanfics there (beside
yours ^_~). Worth a look, people.
And, with all that stuff aside, let's get on to the story!
Okay, as always, all my comments are IMO, and they come from my
sleep-deprived mind, so feel free to ignore them if I don't make any sense.
After all, I've just returned from my prom trip, and there _is_ something
called hangover, y'know? ^_~
Remember the Matrix...
Without further ado...
Too Much Free Time Productions
in association with
Winter break's Days Off
and I Really Need some Sleep
presents
(ALMOST) INSIGHTFUL C&C ON
RONIN SUMMER VI : DARK CRUSADE
A Sailor Moon / Yoroiden Samurai Troopers cross-over
by Morgan Hudson (dataraven_659@excite.com)
Chapter Eight : Preparations
...For that last, impressive fight that will leave the readers with their
mouths agape and wishing or a new sequel...
Erdge stared at her feet as she walked down the corridor. It
was a habit long enforced by necessity ; the floors of the castle in
Extra space right... ...here! ^
Wouldn't a colon work better in this case?
which she and the rest of Mother's children lived in were as
conglomerated as everything else in the structure, and there was little
more embarrassing than stepping from coarse granite flagstone to slick
glass tile without noticing.
Why would that be embarrassing? Of course, you could slip on that kind of
floor, but stepping on it wouldn't be a problem, right?
Making matters worse, not all floors
joined evenly, making for convenient gaps exactly large enough to
swallow a poorly-placed leg and leaving slight ledges just waiting for
a chance to break the ankle of someone in high heels.
Heh. Not the place for a supermodel to parade, is it?
It wasn't a concern at the moment, she admitted to herself as
she paced along the ridged and curving tunnel, holding her torch
slightly higher in an attempt to shed some more light through the
omnipresent shadows that lurked and capered a safe distance from her
flames.
Good description, my friend! I'm there with her.
Brother Tytoung made his home in the countless tunnels that
pockmarked the massive island of rock on which their multifaceted
palace rested, living happy and forgotten in the depths of the earth.
The reserved, quiet ones are always the worst, they say. Finally we get to
meet Tytoung!
Forgotten, at least, until he and his little pets -the ones with which
he shared the habitation of these warrens- were needed to serve Mother.
A large form suddenly lurched out from a connecting tunnel
ahead of her. The blonde woman caught her breath, and stepped back
defensively before vaguely recognising the hunched shape whose small
black eyes were twinkling in her torchlight.
"Damn it, Tytoung! I almost thought you were one of those
horrible worms that lives down here." Erdge stepped forward, and the
...that live down...
shape slowly retreated from her, carefully keeping out of the wavering
circle of light that surrounded her.
"Hello, Erdge. It's been a few centuries." Tytoung's voice was
a dry, rasping hiss, exactly as she had remembered it. "Why are you
disturbing my nest like this? You know how my friends and I despise
visitors." A strange, clapping sound, which Erdge finally managed to
place as a pair of large jaws snapping shut. "Particularly the 'I'
You missed the verb here. A strange, clapping sound... what? This may be
stylistic, but I hate this kind of sentences.
part of 'my friends and I'."
I think it'd be: ...and I.'"
"Pedri sent some soldiers..."
"Yes," Tytoung agreed, "he did. They went wonderfully with a
light cream sauce. I made sure to spit their bones back in the
direction they came. I picture you as more of a honey glaze, however."
He took a step forward, and rested a massive hand on the ground
between them. Erdge's torch shone over a heavily muscled arm, covered
in pebbly scales that glittered like jewels in shifting patterns of
black and coral pink. The fingers were short, and ended in large,
curved claws. A thick, similarly scaled tail swung briefly into view,
its pink and black striped bands gleaming as the light glided over
them. Erdge could sense, more than see, the rest of his mammoth,
muscled form. There was a reason that even Thraw referred to Tytoung
as their "big" brother, and it had nothing to do with age. She had
been afraid that she might catch him in a hungry mood.
She should be more afraid of being CAUGHT in a hungry mood, I think.
Bad joke, I know.
"Now, Brother Tytoung!" Erdge was careful to make her tone
more mocking than concerned. Despite his sluggish, almost bored motions
thus far, if he sensed any fear or weakness in her he would strike
faster than she could blink. "That was a waste of all of our time.
Brother Pedri has sent me here to deliver a message you must already
have received."
"I think Brother Pedri can assume my answer is 'no'."
Again, I this this would be: ...is 'no.'"
I'm not sure, but you should check.
"Is it?" Erdge lowered the torch, nearly touching the stone
floor with the burning brand as she tilted her head to the side.
"Technically," Tytoung clarified, "my answer is for him to go
fuck himself with a long and pointed stick, but I thought 'no' would
be a bit easier for you to understand." The shadowy outline of her
brother turned and began to shuffle away. "Good-bye, Sister Erdge.
Why not "goodbye"? "Good-bye" might be a dated form of it (I don't have a
clue), but is there any reason you used it? He's definitely old, but he also
seems very casual when speaking (the whole "go fuck" thingie).
Thank you for dropping by, and be sure to come back when you aren't
so busy. I'll be more than happy to have you for dinner..."
Such a good host...
"Tytoung, you know that Mother needs you." Erdge waited and
listened as his footsteps scraped more and more softly, receding into
the distance. "Tytoung, this is no time to be stubborn!" Nothing but
silence. "Tytoung, I CAN'T go back to Pedri with another failure!"
Fear clutched the blonde woman's throat. "Th-there's no telling what
he'd do to me," she muttered to herself, and began walking in the
direction of her surly brother's footsteps. "Please!" Erdge called
out desperately. "What do you want? What will it take to get you to
come with me? I'll give you anything! Even one of my treasures!"
Didn't she/you just said that if he sensed any fear or weakness in her she'd
be history? What do you call this?
"Anything?" A voice hissed in her ear, and Erdge stopped in
her tracks.
"A" shouldn't be capitalized.
"Yes," she said quickly, and thanked her lucky stars that it
wasn't her sister Tuls placing her in such a position.
"You'll give anything?"
"Yes!"
"Will you DO anything?"
Uh-oh. Erdge blinked. This was starting to sound a lot more
like talking to Tuls than she preferred.
As Tuls sounded sort of... highly sexed, this doesn't sound good for Erdge.
Though Tytoung may also ask for one of her arms--for a snack, I mean.
Tytoung snorted, and Erdge's long braid swayed in the breeze
he had created. "I said," he repeated, "will you DO anything? To get
me to come with you, and help Brother Pedri?"
"Yes," Erdge breathed, so quietly that even she could barely
hear herself saying it. "Anything." What the hell. It couldn't be any
worse than what Tuls had put her through, and at least there wouldn't
be an audience this time.
"Fine. Scratch my nose."
"What?"
"My nose." Tytoung snorted again. "It itches, and my arms are
too short to reach it. I want you to scratch my nose."
LOL! And here I though this would go Dark...
Heaving a deep sigh of relief, Erdge reached out her hand and
curled her fingers. Feeling her brother's broad, blunt snout press
against her palm, she began to scratch vigorously, dragging her nails
across his bead-like scales. Tytoung panted contentedly, and Erdge
heard a soft thumping sound that she realised was his tail wagging
against the side of the tunnel.
"Heavenly," Tytoung moaned. "That has been bothering me for
nearly eight hundred and fifty years. You have NO idea how appreciative
I am. Have no fear, my darling, favourite sister : I shall gather my
troops and prepare to depart in mere hours. I really should go
hunting, anyway, with a larder nearly as empty as my stomach."
"You'll send out your troops?"
"If it's safe," Tytoung cautioned, "if it's safe. You know I
always prefer to get the lay of the land before I go rushing into
things, unlike my flighty brothers Vyne and Pedri. I may even come
along for the hunt, I think : it's high time I saw some sunlight
again."
Let's recap. He said he would only send out his troop if it was safe. Then
he said he only _might_ come along for the hunt. Now, if he doesn't come
out, and doesn't send his troops, how the heck is he going to know wheter
it's safe or not? I think I'm missing something here...
"Thank you!" Erdge turned and gratefully wrapped her arms as
far around Tytoung's waist as they would go. "If I can ever repay you,
just let me know."
"Well," Tytoung drawled, "there's a spot right between my
shoulders that's been a bit itchy lately..."
**********
Somebody was poking her with a stick.
Keeping her eyes shut, Haruka Ten'ou swatted at the offending
object that was jabbing her in the ribs. Missing completely, she
groaned and opened one blue eye just as the stick's owner prepared to
pole her yet again.
Typo: poke
"Jun," she said quietly, "if you touch me with that thing
ONE more time, I swear I will cram it somewhere very uncomfortable."
JUN: My nose? One of my ears? My mouth?
HARUKA: Nope, but it may come out one of those if I try hard enough...
"Sorry," the dark-haired boy said with an apologetic smile.
"Michiru mentioned you were a heavy sleeper, and I already tried
every other trick I've got, except a bucket of cold water. I never
thought I'd say this to anybody, but you're harder to wake up than
Touma!"
He says that because he hasn't met Ranma Saotome. The guy doesn't even
realize you're attacking him!
<LET'S SNIP>
"Oh." Haruka shrugged. "Whatever. Just make sure nothing eats
her while I'm gone, okay?" Picking up the jacket she had used as a
pillow, the tall blonde woman folded it over one arm and walked off
into the underbrush in search of her friends.
Nitpick: How did she know where the girls were? No one told her: "Kayura and
your fellow Senshi went in that direction," right?
**********
"This is it," Rajura said proudly, as he swept his arms wide
in a gesture that enveloped a large body of water nearly the size of
a swimming pool on Earth. Steam rose from the placid surface of the
water, and it bubbled softly to itself. The spring was shaped like a
large letter "O", with a small island of rock in the very middle and
I don't think you need the quotes, especially if you already say it's a
letter. In fact, I don't think "letter" is needed.
rocky ledges around the edge that the water lapped against every so
often. The silver-haired Masho placed his hands on his hips and smiled
as his Empress pushed through the bushes and looked over the pool,
sighing in relief.
"Wonderful!" The raven-haired girl enthused, as her grey
"Wonderful!" the... (I think)
undergear melted from her body in a flash of light and left her clad
in what appeared to be a haphazard collection of tattered rags and
black bandages, covered in an odd-smelling red slime. "I've been hoping
for a chance to wash this gunk off of me!" She stepped towards the
spring, and Rajura stopped her with an outstretched hand.
<SNIP!>
>From now on, I'll try to keep my hentai jokes at a minimun, but know it's a
really, really hard task.
"I have to admit," Nasuti said, eyes narrowed thoughtfully as
she set down her simple white shoulder bag, "he seems to hate you with
more passion than I've ever seen Rajura demonstrate for anything!"
Reaching behind her, she pulled her long auburn hair out of the collar
of her denim jacket, unbuttoning the heavy garmet and sliding it off
Typo: garment
of her shoulders to land in a crumpled pile at her feet. "What's the
story between you two?"
"Long," Kayura offered, sitting on a nearby rock and tugging
on the lengths of bandage that were wrapped around her body, "painful,
and very, very complicated." The length of slimy fabric in her hands
snagged on something, and suddenly stopped unravelling. "Speaking of
complicated," the young empress muttered, and turned to Setsuna,
holding the black scrap of cloth out to her. "Be a dear, would you?
Grab this and tug on it as hard as you can. If I roll the other way,
we might actually get somewhere before it's time to leave."
Setsuna reached out and gingerly accepted the filthy rag,
pinching it between her thumb and index finger as she continued to
unbutton her white silk blouse with her free hand. Pulling off her
shoes, Michiru noticed the strange pin that Sailor Pluto had been
wearing earlier. On her hands and knees, the young woman stretched
out one hand and picked up the piece of jewelry from where it sat
Typo: jewellery (AmE --> BrE)
innocently on top of Setsuna's discarded jacket.
"This is a lovely piece," the Senshi of Neptune said enviously,
running her fingers over the raised cameo carved in ivory and set
against a black backdrop of what appeared to be opal. The gold wire
that writhed around the stone had been twisted and formed to look like
a wreath, with no beginning or end. "When did you get this? I don't
remember you ever wearing it before..."
I bet it has something to do with Shutendoji.
"Oh, I've had that for years." Setsuna smiled enigmatically
as she carefully folded her shirt the way she had her jacket, smoothing
the creamy silk absently as a strange look entered her crimson eyes.
"I just... felt like wearing it again."
Michiru smiled herself, as she continued staring at the strange
face carved into the pin. A grinning demonic skull with long hair and
some kind of horned samurai helmet glared at her from the depths of
the cameo. "Rather nasty-looking little fellow, isn't he? Exquisitely
carved, though."
There was a loud splash as Kayura finally reached the end of
her bandages and tumbled into the spring. Spluttering, the beautiful
young woman popped her head above the surface of the water, long
raven hair hanging around her like a thick veil.
And the crowd yelled: "We want more description! MORE DESCRIPTION!" ^_~
"Well," she said
primly, coughing slightly, "that may not have been incredibly graceful
of me, but at least it worked." With a shrug, she began to gather her
wet hair up on top of her head. "One of my kingdoms," she said
plaintively, "for some hairpins!"
Nasuti helpfully stopped pulling off her socks and turned to
where her shoulder bag lay, knocking her jeans out of the way and
rummaging through the large purse. "I think," she said, her voice
muffled by the the fact she had stuck her entire head into the bag,
Extra "the" here.
"I have some hairpins in here, somewhere..." A bottle of shampoo and
some perfume tumbled out, rolling across the ground until they bumped
against Michiru's thigh. Picking up the small plastic bottle, Michiru
looked at it strangely.
"You carry shampoo in your purse?"
"Oh," Nasuti's muffled voice answered, as several more items
began to spill out of the bag, "not just shampoo. I also have soap,
toothpaste, towels, a canteen full of Calpis water, a change of
clothes, a map of New York City, some granola bars, a box of matches,
a Swiss Army knife, and some iodine." Sitting up, the woman smiled
cheerfully, revealing the objects in her hand. "And," she added, "a lot
of other things, including hairpins."
...and whips, and handcuffs, and some XXX movies, the last Playboy and
Latin_D's phone number.
Yeah, right. Talk about fan service.
Michiru blinked. "And you always carry all of that stuff in
your purse? No matter where you go?"
"Just because I don't WANT to be dragged into an alien
dimension," Nasuti said sensibly, "does not mean I am unprepared for
the eventuality."
"Which one of my kingdoms do you want?" Kayura asked
gratefully as she took the pins offered her.
NASUTI: Well, the Dark Kingdom is nice and all, but the scenery is beautiful
in the Dinasty.
KAYURA: ...
NASUTI: Oh, it was a joke? Drat!
"I'll even throw in a
Masho if you let me borrow some clothes."
"No need," Nasuti said generously. Balling up her socks, she
stuffed them in her purse and stood back up. "Although," she added
thoughtfully, "I think a few of my clothes might be a bit big on you."
BTW, isn't Kayura very, very old (hundreds of years old, like the rest of
the Masho)? When is she going to grow up?
"Anything is better than nothing, dear," Kayura reminded the
other woman gently. "If you think I'm wrapping myself in those grimy,
disgusting old rags again, you're sorely mistaken."
What does she need those for? Can't she use that undergear of hers?
Michiru looked down at herself and began to feel very
overdressed. Setsuna was already slipping into the water with Kayura,
and Nasuti was wearing only a white short-sleeved shirt that hung
past her thighs. Meanwhile, Michiru had been so obsessed with the pin
she still held that she had barely even loosened the bow on the
front of her school uniform. Noticing a nervous look on Nasuti's face,
Michiru smiled. "What's wrong?"
NASUTI: I feel like I'm being watched...
LATIN_D: SHAKE IT, BABE!
And the fourth wall was no more.
"Oh," Nasuti replied, "nothing. It's just that I half-expect
some menace to attack our camp, and one or all of the Samurai Troopers
to come bursting through those bushes to warn me." Tugging off the
shirt, she slid the shoulder straps of her brassiere down and pulled
her arms out of them. "It's one of the perils of being the only girl
around an all-male team, you know. It's been years since they moved
out, and I still check to make sure my door is locked before I start
to change." Shaking her head ruefeully, she reached behind her and
Typo: ruefully
undid the clasp of her bra. Letting the garment dangle from one hand,
she placed the other hand on her hip and snorted. "You know," she
said, "those five guys can create a strategy for defeating the most
powerful Demon Lord in less than a day, but somehow the idea of
knocking was just lost on them."
Michiru smiled to herself as she pulled her sweater over her
head. "Sounds horrible," she said with a small chuckle.
"You laugh," Nasuti said, "but you've never been trying to
take a bath while Seiji is using the mirror to brush his hair, Shuu and
Shin are both at the sink brushing their teeth, Ryo is sticking his
head in the door and wanting to know why you're taking so long, and
Touma is still so half-asleep he's about to get in the furo with you.
It rapidly loses its charm, believe me."
Not for the Samurai Troopers, I'm sure. ^_~
"I suppose it would," Michiru said with a sympathetic look in
her eyes. "Boys can be quite dull and inconsiderate, at times. That's
one of the reasons I gave up on the creatures, myself." Unbuttoning
her skirt, she let the fabric slide down her legs and kicked it into
the air.
"Gee," Haruka said with a smirk as she caught the skirt in
mid-air, "and here I thought I was just so irresistable that you
Typo: irresistible
couldn't help throwing yourself at me."
"Well," Michiru laughed, "there was that, too. But why bore
Nasuti with all the tawdry details of our torrid little affair?"
Rushing over to where Haruka stood, Michiru threw her arms around
the taller blonde woman and kissed her briefly on the lips. "I'm glad
you finally woke up," the Senshi of Netune said with a wink. "You're
Typo: Neptune
less fun when you're just lying there. Did you come to scrub my back?"
HARUKA: Not exactly, but you're close...
Nasuti lowered herself into the water with Setsuna and Kayura,
who were huddled together on one side of the hot spring, whispering
back and forth. The two made a strange pair, one tall and stately, with
long green hair and piercing red eyes, the other barely reaching her
shoulder and still possessing the wide eyes and softer curves of youth.
Guess which is the ruler of two whole dimensions, Nasuti thought, and
Well, I'm not sure, but I always was of the idea that both her Kingdoms were
in the same dimension. Didn't Kayura said the Masho were fighting at the
border with the Dark Kingdom (Inner Battles, IIRC)?
smiled. Anybody who didn't know better would lay odds on the dusky
skinned, enigmatic Setsuna Meioh before even considering the shorter,
paler, and somewhat frail girl floating next to her.
Yes, but Setsuna controls time. Kingdoms come and go, time is, obviously,
eternal.
There were a series of splashes, and Nasuti looked over to see
that Haruka and Michiru had both finished disrobing and entered the
hot spring as well.
"So eventually," Kayura said to Setsuna with a soft giggle, "I
finally had to just let them in the bath with me. It was the only way
I could keep the poor darlings from knocking over my bonsai and
breaking my vases while they tried to be discreet. They all spy on me,
anyway : I figured it may as well be in the open."
Kayura's secret isn't a secret any more, it seems. ^_^
"What was that?" Nasuti asked, curiously.
"Oh," Kayura said with a wide smile, "I was just saying how
nice it is to be able to bathe with some women again, instead of my
Masho."
O_O
Wow. The hidden story behind the Masho, ne?
Nasuti laughed before she could stop herself. "You mean those
three even go to the bath with you?" And she had thought she was the
only one who had to put up with Samurai Troopers butting in on her.
Maybe, she thought, they all lost their respect for people's privacy
when they got their yoroi...
Or, maybe, they all became perverts and try to see nude women all the time.
Think about it.
Kayura nodded. "Rajura puts his patch on the other eye, and
Anubis insists on constantly staring at the ceiling, and Naaza...
well, Naaza squeezes his eyes shut and swears that we're all just
Well, Naaza...
pretending he's there, when he really isn't." The empress shrugged and
threw her head back as her shoulders shook with laughter. "It's really
quite a thing to see, I assure you!"
Nasuti was shocked. It had taken weeks before she stopped
throwing things at her Troopers, and that had been because everything
left was too heavy for her to lift! "How can you be so okay with it?
Don't you ever want any time to yourself?"
I think "some" sounds better than "any" here...
"Nasuti, they were there anyway. My Masho really are a bunch
of overprotective little mother hens, but they're so sweet I can't
help but forgive them." Kayura shrugged. "I mean, Anubis even sneaks
into my room at night with a mirror to make sure I'm still breathing!
He thinks I don't know, but I do." With a mischevious smile, the
Typo: mischievous
raven-haired empress tapped her lower lip with her forefinger
thoughtfully. "One of these times," she said thoughtfully, "I really
You already used "thoughtfully" in the previous sentence. Change one of
them.
should order him to stay..." Realising that nearly everybody was
staring at her, Kayura blinked innocently. "What? I gave strict orders
this time : No Boys Allowed. Not even if Pedri himself attacks our
camp personally!"
"Pedri?" Nasuti looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hmm. That
name rings a bell for some reason..." Brow knitted thoughtfully, she
swam over to where her purse lay on the rocky ledge that ringed their
bathing spot. Ah well, she thought, certainly it would come to her
eventually. She passed around some
....whips and handcuffs, which were quickly put to good use?
soap and shampoo, which was quickly
put to good use.
Awwww. ^_~
**********
Jun jammed his hands in his pockets and looked over at Hotaru,
who was sitting calmly at the foot of a tree. A bird chirped in the
distance, then screeched loudly. A series of chewing noises followed,
and the satisfied rumble of a happy predator. Hotaru shivered and
drew her lags up against her chest, wrapping her arms around them and
resting her chin on her knees.
"So," Jun said, slowly beginning to pace in a small circle,
"let's hear it."
"Hear what?" Hotaru blinked. "You're the one who said you
wanted to talk to me, Jun."
"Well, yeah," Jun admitted, "but that's just because I figured
you've got a few things to say to me about what's going on. Nasuti
said we should get this all out in the open and discuss it before it
festers." He shrugged, and winced. "She's a university proffessor.
Typo: professor
It's her job to read those old romances. They're probably going to her
head."
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" Jun looked at Hotaru in genuine confusion.
Hotaru pointed at him. "You winced when you shrugged, just now.
Are you hurt, or something?"
"Uh, no." Jun rubbed his left shoulder self-consciously. "I'm
just fine, Hotaru. It's, uhm, just a little twinge from carrying Naaza,
Incredibly annoying nitpick: you're going to kill me, but I've never seen
"uhm." "Uh," maybe, or "um."
probably. He's pretty heavy, in that armour of his." With a nervous
smile, he went back to his pacing. "The point is that I feel like you
don't want me to be here, Hotaru."
"I don't," Hotaru said simply. "It's dangerous in the Dark
Kingdom, Jun. There's all kinds of wild animals, and enemies we don't
know anything about, and from what Setsuna tells me, even the Masho
could be out to get us! I'm afraid you might get hurt."
"Hotaru, I came because I wanted to help. I want to do
everything I can to make sure we ALL come out of this alive!" Jun
patted his chest clutching the dark fabric of his sweater. "Hey, that
includes me too, Hotaru. It's not like I'm dumb enough to jump in
front of a gun for no good reason."
JUN: Now, jump in front of a magical blast is another matter entirely.
Seriously, I always wanted to know what would happen if someone shot a
Masho, or a Trooper, or even a Senshi.
"But still... You don't have any powers, Jun." Hotaru made eye
contact with him, and Jun immediately began fighting the urge to
apolgise to her for no apparent reason. "I'm worried about you, Jun.
If one of those things, those dead men, got ahold of you, there'd be
I think you meant "a hold".
nothing you could do..."
"Hey! I'm not a child, Hotaru!" Jun spread his arms wide, and
hissed between his teeth. "I've been dealing with youja and Masho ever
since I was nine, and I think the fact I'm still here says a little
something about my ability to take care of myself."
...Or it could also say something about the ability of his friends ta take
care of him, which is something Hotaru might say.
Hotaru's purple eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You just did it
again," she said, and pointed at him.
"Did what?"
"You moved your left arm, and then you acted like it had hurt."
"Ah, like I said, it's no big deal." Jun swatted at the air
between them as if her concerns were a mosquito he could shoo away.
"It's probably just a little muscle pull from carrying Naaza." He
looked down at his shoes. "Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Well..." Jun began to scuff the dirt with the toe of his shoe,
drawing a small figure eight in the ground. "It might -and I mean REAL
Just like the last time, I'm not sure "figure" is needed. It's kind of
superfluous.
small chance here- have been something that happened during the fight
this morning. Sailor Lightstorm was fighting like, four of those dead
men you were talking about, and a fifth one was sneaking up behind
her, so I kind of tackled it-"
"You WHAT?"
HOTARU: What did you say? You helped Firestorm?
JUN: No, no Firestorm, Lightstorm! Firestorm died a long time ago, don't you
remember? Gee, what are you, deaf or something?
HOTARU: DIE!
Sorry about the question in my last C&C. My memory isn't what it used to be.
"And, uhm..." Jun's voice softened until it was barely audible.
"When I tackled him, I might have kinda maybe heard a sort of popping
sound in my shoulder." Looking up, he saw the angriest Hotaru he had
ever laid eyes on. "Hey," he said, in an attempt to placate her, "it's
no big deal!"
Every little thing that angers a person capable of destroying the world is a
big deal, Jun. Remember that, please
"No big deal?" Hotaru looked at Jun as though he had just said
he was planning to flap his arms and fly to Paris. "This is EXACTLY
what I was worried about Jun! You ran out into the battle, and you got
hurt, and you didn't even tell anybody you were hurt!"
"Because it's just a sore shoulder! Naaza was practically in a
coma! It didn't exactly feel like the right time to whine about a
little sprain. I mean, I've gotten worse than this just from playing
around with Ryo's tiger! I'll be as good as new in a day, or so! Why
worry anybody?"
"What happened to you not jumping in front of any guns, Jun?
Didn't you just tell me that you weren't going to do that."
Missing question mark at the end of this sentence.
"Not without good reason." Jun crossed his arms adamantly. "I
was the only person close enough to help Sailor Lightstorm in time.
If I hadn't done anything, she could be dead right now! I think that
counts as a good reason. Besides," he added as an afterthought, "next
time I won't hit one that high on the body. I didn't expect them to be
just slime and bones : I must have banged my shoulder on its ribs. If
I aim lower, I'll do way better. Probably knock it over faster, too."
"You're actually planning to do it again?"
"Well, not PLANNING, per se, but it never hurts to keep things
This comma after "planning" doesn't seem right.
like that in mind. I never know when someone might need my help."
Hotaru shook her head, her mop of soft raven hair whirling
about her head like a black cloud. "I can't believe it," she said,
"you'ver already gotten hurt once, and you're so stubborn, you aren't
...said. "You've already...
even going to think twice about trying to fight something that's
obviously out of your league!"
"What else can I do? You'd rather I just hid behind your skirt
whenever something bad happens?" Jun scowled. "I won't do that. I won't
hide behind my friends, like I'm scared of these things! I'm not afraid
No need for the comma after "friends", I think.
of ANY of them, and I'll be damned before I let them think I am!"
"That's the problem, Jun. You're too brave. I think maybe you
A colon after "Jun", maybe? That he's too brave is exactly the problem she's
talking about...
need to learn to be more afraid, sometimes."
"If I weren't so brave," Jun argued, "I never would have had
the guts to ask you out in the first place! If I were more afraid, I
might have thought twice about THAT!" Sitting next to her, he gently
brushed back some of her hair and ran the back of his fingers along
the side of her jaw. "How can I stop being brave," he asked, "when
that's the only reason I got to know you better? I'd say it's working
pretty well for me."
Heheheh. Flattery will get you wherever you want to go. ^_^
Jun 1 - Hotaru 0
Hotaru blushed. "I'm still not happy about this," she said
softly, and closed her eyes.
<THE USUAL>
Nasuti made thoughtful noises as she sank a bit lower into
the water once more, submerging herself up to her nose and blowing
bubbles as she furrowed her brow. Nearby, Michiru had begun massaging
Haruka's neck, and the tall blonde Senshi had her eyes closed as her
head rolled from side to side. Setsuna was wringing the shampoo suds
from her long emerald hair, and when Kayura muttered some joking
comment about her cousin Shutendoji, Sailor Pluto whirled her head
and let the thick tail of wet hair slap the empress in the back of
head. With a loud squeal, Kayura fell forward and plunged under the
water.
Heheh. I bet she said something about Shuten having longer hair than
Setsuna.
"Pedri," Nasuti murmured to herself, "Pedri, Pedri, Pedri...
What is it about that name?" For some reason, she kept remembering
the smell of dust. Well, that was helpful. How many dusty old books
and scrolls had she gone through, since coming to Japan? Closing her
eyes, she tried to recreate the scene. She would have been in the
library of Shinsai University, somewhere in those looming stacks, and
perched on some ladder, paging through an old book. She must have
come across the name Pedri. What had the book said about Pedri?
Her eyes snapped open in shock. Oh, dear. Sitting bolt upright,
Nasuti turned to Kayura, her jaw hanging open. "You don't mean to
tell me," she blurted, "that somebody is actually worshipping Pedri
again, do you?"
Nope, but there seems to be lots of people worshipping Mother, whoever she
is.
**********
Pedri crossed his legs, resting his left ankle on his right
knee. Staring critically at his left leg, he leaned forward and picked
a piece of lint off of the black dress pants he wore. Leaning back
against the high back of his chair, he rested his face on the palm of
his right gauntlet. The seconds passed, and the only sound was the
fingers of his right hand drumming against the armrest of his chair.
Erdge swallowed. She had finished her report minutes ago, and
he hadn't even deigned to show her any sign of pleasure or rage. The
suspense alone was killing her, and she forced herself to bite her
tongue. She was NOT going to speak first, she vowed. Brother Pedri
might take such an action as impudence.
Her tall and lean brother examined her leather-clad form as
though it were something in a petri dish. "Your back," he said after
What's a "petri dish"?
a moment. "Has it been troubling you?" It was as close as etiquette
would allow either of them to come to the subject of her punishment.
Failures were accounted for quickly and brutally, yet once the scale
was balanced, the deed was considered to have never happened. Even
mentioning it was frowned upon.
"No," Erdge replied honestly.
"I only ask," Pedri said in the same cool tone he always used,
"because I had heard from Sister Holts that your back was giving you
difficulties, this morning. Mother wants her children in full health,
you know."
Mother wants that, but Pedri doesn't seem to care that much. Besides, Thraw
is missing one ear, right?
"Perhaps earlier," she conceded, "there was some... discomfort,
but I assure you I am perfectly fine now."
"Good," Pedri said quickly, and glanced over at the tank that
stood nearby. A giant cylinder of crystal, it was filled to the brim
with burbling blue gel. Floating in the gel was their Mother, naked
and serene with her arms folded over her chest and hands resting on
opposite shoulders. Her eyes were closed, and her hair bobbed about
her in a swirling, silken cloud of gold. Wires and tubes encircled her,
running into her body and beneath her skin in such multitude that it
almost looked as though she was wearing some exotc form of skirt.
Typo: exotic
"It won't be long, you know," Pedri said to Erdge, who looked
up at him in surprise. It wasn't common for her brother to become
introspective, and even less common for him to confide in one of his
siblings. After all, why did he need their company? He was blessed to
hear the voice of Mother herself!
As in, he's crazy, and he hears voices. Nutcase!
"What do you mean, Leader?" Erge asked carefully.
"This is the peak, Sister Erdge. With the pacification of the
Dark Kingdom and the Dynasty, we will officially have brought eternal
peace and happiness to half of the universe." Pedri smiled slightly.
They killed half the universe? Wow.
"Mother is pleased with us," he said. "You have done good work,
convincing Brother Tytoung to partake in Mother's plan. He is a very
abrasive and self-centered soul, but he is as Mother made him. He will
help to bring us victory, and that is what matters." Pedri flicked
his fingers slightly, and Erdge took her signal to leave his presence.
Alone again, Pedri thought as the door closed behind her. As
he and Mother preferred it. Despite their strengths and skills, it
seemed at times as though all of his siblings had qualities that made
them less than desirable. Vyne and his treachery, constantly attempting
to replace Pedri as Mother's Pride. Tytoung, who would happily devour
any of his siblings as soon as anything else that wandered in reach
of his jaws. Thraw, whose temper and thick-headedness had already
brought about yet another failure, for which he was still being
punished. Erdge was clearly reverent in the face of Mother, but time
and again she had demonstrated a willingness to forget all about the
devine plan in exchange for something bright and shiny. Holts was
brilliant, and the only sibling Pedri had any real affection for,
but she was so lazy she refused to use any of her powers to aid in
their quest.
So she's got powers, ne? I bet you're saving that for the end.
Tuls tried hard, but frankly she had a bad habit of
thinking with the wrong parts of her anatomy.
Which is a wonderful and oh-so-polite way of saying she's a slut. Gee, I
can't wait to meet her... :-p-- - - - -
"And yet," he said, "they are as Mother made them. And I am as
She made me. Still..." Pedri cast his blue eyes once again towards the
giant brystal tube that contained the body of Mother. "Is it this hard
Typo: crystal
for them all, Mother? Is Zeus surrounded by such incompetence? Does
Odin have to deal with such treachery? How, I wonder, do they keep
the control that is so difficult for me?" Running his fingers through
his soft black hair, the man who looked too young to even carry a
sword, let alone lead a crusade, sat despondently in his chair, truly
alone.
Except, of course, for the reassuring voice in his head.
This was the best scene of the chapter, I have to say. Pedri is still an
enigma, but it was great to see inside his head for a moment. I love
internal dialogues, and this was beautifully done. Good work!
**********
To Be Continued...
...or Latin_D will do the Hangman's Hundred Handed Horrifier to me.
Another day, another C&C. I think you know how I feel about this series. And
though things are a bit slow at the moment, I'm sure that will change soon.
I liked the interaction between Hotaru and Jun, and I hope there you'll put
their relationship on the spotlight again soon. Many things can go wrong in
the future, and Jun won't be able to sweet talk his way out of a discussion
twice. Actually, I'd like to see what Shutendoji, who seems to be a wise
person (you called him the Obi-wan Kenobi o the Masho) and apparently wants
to take a more active part in Hotaru's life, has to say about the situation.
Maybe the boy will get some power after all, who knows?
I'm most curious about Brother Tytoung, you know? To be so feared by one of
the siblings, he must be a sight. And my hentai twin wants to know more
about Tuls... ^_^
As I told you, Pedri is the character that interests me the most. I can't
wait what the heck it was that Nasuti remembered.
Well, this is it for me, Morgan. I'll go read some of my backlog mail, and
wait for the next chapter of Dark Crusade.
See you!
Latin_D