----- Original Message -----
From: "Jim Lazar" <jimlazar@animeprime.com>
To: "FFML" <FFML@fanfic.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 13, 2000 9:49 PM
Subject: [FFML] [DRAFT][EVA][Fanfic][SuperLime] Garden of EVA 2:6 - Kaworu
Blows!
A quick tally. (Not the most useful C+C, but it shows I'm paying attention,
doesn't it?)
Times the word "buttfuck/ed" is used in a sentence: 9
Times buttfucking actually occurs: 1 (abortive)
Penis twist quotient: 2 (3 if you count alt-Shinji getting his twig caught
in a knothole)
A variety of tree used as euphemism for male sexual organ: 3
Any other term is used as euphemism for male sexual organ: 7 (You're
slipping, Jim. ;-)
Shinji denies his latent homosexual feelings: 6
Homosexual encounters: 4 (including dreams)
Heterosexual encounters: 4
Clogged food dispensers: 2
Breast gainaxes: a whopping 11
Instances of hot, unbridled monkey sex: 0
Instances of phrase "hot, unbridled monkey sex": 1 (a dramatic dip from last
episode)
Shinji gets caught whackin' off: 1
B.P.G.O.E.E. (blowjobs per Garden of Eva Ep.) quotient: 7
Times reader fell off his chair in fits of giggles: 34
Times reader went "Ewwww...": 12
Instances of proof that Lord Jim has finally lost his mind: 89
All in all, a rather high "giggles-to-ewwws" ratio. Good show, Jim! Say hi
to Nurse Rachet for me!
Dave Menard
-------------------------------------
Fanfiction pages: http://spghome.tripod.com/
"Just as there are laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are
in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or
destroyed.
But one can be converted into the other."
-Spider Robinson, 1977