THE BATTER END
by CrazyFic
crazyfic@hotmail.com

Disclaimer:  Ranma 1/2 and its characters were created by Rumiko Takahashi.  Any other disclaimer used in other fics applies to this one.
Anything else?...  Oh yeah!  If you are wondering, Akane does not get turned into chicken (roast or living) or gets eaten up in this fic.

C&C and MST definitely welcome

*****

As she tightened her grip on the handle, Akane's voice was like thunder in Ukyou's ears.  "I warned you... I warned you both!  DIE, RANMA!"

Ranma, though, was paying attention to something else.

"Akane, watch out!" Ranma screamed.  "There's an okonomiyaki yattai behind you!"

Akane was confused after hearing this.  "And what is that supposed to mean?  This is probably just another one of your plans to stay with your secret lover."  Having said this, her rage became even greater as she was about to do what she had promised.

"Akane, Ranchan's right!" screamed Ukyou, hoping to stop Akane from killing Ranma.  "There is an okonomiyaki yattai behind you!  In fact, it's rolling towards you!"

Akane turned towards Ukyou.  "SHUT UP!!" she screamed.

While this happened, Ranma was able to move away from Akane.

"This is just some plan to get Ranma away from me.  At least come up with a better idea than saying that an okonom...."

Akane couldn't say anything else as she saw what was behind her.  What she saw was something so unbelievable that it caused her face to change from an expression of rage to that of complete shock.

"It... it's an oko... okonomiyaki yattai!  There's no one controlling it!  Yet it has the smell of fresh okonomiyaki along with the smell of hot, steaming okonomiyaki batter as well as other, assorted things that can go with okonomiyaki.  And it's heading right towards..."

That was all Akane could say before the okonomiyaki yattai rammed into her, knocking her down.  After which it rolled over her body.  It then reversed its direction before disappearing to where it came from, leaving behind a very confused Ranma, Ukyou, and Kasumi (who came in midway through the situation).

Soon after the yattai disappeared, Kunou ran into the Tendou dojo and saw Akane's body.

"Akane... NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Kunou, rushing forward.  He dropped to his knees besides Akane's body and held her in his arms.

"YOU KILLED HER!!!!" he screamed to no one in particular.

"YOU!"  He points towards Ranma.

"YOU!"  He points towards Ukyou.

"YOU!"  He points towards Kasumi.

"YOU!".  He points towards the sky.

"AND ESPECIALLY YOU!"  He points towards the screen.

With a final anguished cry, he takes Akane's body and runs off into the night.  And they lived happily ever after.

*****
As for what was happening back in the dojo:

"Ranchan." said Ukyou.

"Yes Ucchan?" replied Ranma.

For a while she was thinking of something to say.  "That... was weird."

"Yes.  Yes it was." said Ranma, still stunned by what he saw.

Kasumi suddenly realized something.  "Oh my!  I wonder what I should tell father and Nabiki."  She left the dojo still thinking of what she should say.

For a few minutes after this, none of the remaining two people could say a thing.

Finally Ranma spoke up.  "I... cannot stay her tonight.  Too many depressing memories.  Ucchan, do you mind if I stay with you tonight."

"Sure thing Ranchan." replied Ukyou, who still couldn't get over what had happened.

Finally, Ranma and Ukyou left the dojo for whatever the future held for them.

                THE END

*****
Notes:

First of all, I would like to apologize to Zen for using his fic like this.

To Akane fans (since, of course, there is no such thing as an Akane fanboy):
Well... I really can't say that I didn't like writing this fic.  Cause if that were true, why would I even write this.  If you still don't feel so well after reading this, rejoice!  For I (being the kind person that I am) have provided a list of things that can be said to make most Akane cryb... fans feel better:

    "It's not canon!"

    "This was just Akane-bashing <beep>!"

    "Even though most of her beatings are more justified than
       Akane's, Ukyou is just as violent."

    "You're just an Akane-bashing Ukyou fanboy!"

    and if anyone tries to reply to that:

    "There is no such thing as an Akane fanboy or Ukyou-bashing.
       Akane is an all-around nice girl while Ukyou is a violent
       maniac."

    "A real Ranma fic is where Akane gets Ranma and has a perfect
       life while other people (such as Ukyou) have their lives
       screwed up.  Therefore, this is not a real Ranma fic."
       Remember to stick out your tongue after saying this.

    "This is just a spamfic.  Spamfics can't hurt me.  They can
       only make me stronger."

    And last (but not least):

    "Fine, be that way!  I'll just go read one of the eighty
       percent of Ranma fics where Akane gets Ranma."

To all owners of an okonomiyaki yattai, please make sure that your yattai is with you at all times.  For the consequences of leaving one out of your view can be disastrous (as seen here with Mrs. Tendou).


~Dedicated to Akane Tendou.  She came into this world with a shock on
her face.  She left this world with a shock on her face.  She was
considered by some to be a tomboy.  Then again, many people were
accused of being a boy.  Though some people considered her violent,
it was the number of bruises on ones body that showed how much she
loved that person.  The more bruises that person had, the more she
  loved them.  Her interpretations of the obvious was something
    that few could match and others would marvel at.  *Sniff*
                  I'm sorry... I can't go on~

------------------------------------------

        The road to madness is the easiest road to take.
________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com