Ah, from good ole' DF ^_^:
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
Chapter 2
Ah, another DB mega-chapter. ^_^
Nah. 70 or so K isn't a mega chapter. Only thing over 100K really qualify
for it in book.
I've written plenty of those in my time, though. :)
Major snippage throughout...
Ditto. Used all of your grammer commments I believe.
person
most of the time,
and a heck of an agent. I wouldn't want anyone else for
my partner, and she
has cleared all of the charges too. But the main reason
things get blown up
around us is because she's recklessness personified. I
can't begin to
imagine the untold damage she'd cause if I wasn't there
to help keep her
under control."
Yuri: [face-faulting from around the corner where she'd been
listening] WHAT?!?!
Kei: Uh...
Iria: I just knew there was something wrong with this tale...
Heh. I bet you didn't realize how right you were.
Outside the room, a portable listening device's component
parts shattered
into a dozen pieces as a certain 3WA agent's grip
tightened reflexively
upon it.
HAHAHAHA!
I was right. :)
A loose cannon, was she? And after she had been
thoughtful and
caring enough to plant a bug in the room beforehand and
eavesdrop on the
conversation to make sure everything went smoothly with
Kei and her old
friend (And she hadn't done it just to be nosy). And what
does that
backstabbing little witch do? She tries to make Yuri into
the big scapegoat
when it was actually Kei that was responsible for nearly
every bad move the
pair had ever made. Yuri made a mental note to have a
discussion with Kei
about taking responsibility for her actions at a later
time, probably in
the middle of a hand-to-hand combat training session.
That way Yuri knew
she'd have Kei's proper amount of attention. Oh, yes.
Yuri would see to it
she received plenty of attention from her partner. Almost
more than the
redhead would be able to handle.
Heh.
Yuri: Well you have to do that since Kei suffers from attention deficet
disorder, Really.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"How much longer until we get there?" Kei asked Iria as
the pair headed
towards the bounty hunter's attached ship, 'Creeper V'.
It was named in
honor of her original spacecraft, the four before the
current version all
meeting similar, violent fates. Both felt elated at their long
conversation. Once started, the two had bantered back and
forth, catching
up on old times and barely scratching the surface of all
they had done over
the years. They would have continued on through the night
until they
collapsed it had not been for Bob mentioning that they
would be dropping
out of hyperspace and arriving at the station in an hour,
and that they had
best make ready to deal with Zeiram.
My, how casually he tosses that idea out... :)
True. But Bob can be laid back at times, ne? :)
"Most planetary governments could find something useful
in there," Bob
confirmed, his mechanically simulated voice somehow
conveying an intangible
smirk.
Oh, dear. The Dirty Pa-- ERR, Lovely Angels with serious
firepower... The universe is doomed.
Or at least Zeiram will be.
Yuri drew closer to a familiar type of rifle. "Hey. This
is a Pogtaltion
776. These were outlawed by the Uni-Gal Conventions
Guidelines at the same
time the Barneyblast 'Love Me,' Firearms were.
ARGH! NOOOOO! Heh.
Had to take a shot at big purple in someway. :)
time the Barneyblast 'Love Me' firearms were.
Iria
had quickly
learned that both individuals needed to want to be in the
other's presence
in order to make anything that lasted more than a couple
of missions work
out. Shehad
She had (unless you're implying a female holy war... :P)
Nope. Although one might mistake it for such once the shooting starts.. ^_^
That caught Muhgi's attention. He looked suspiciously at
both women, who
were manning the flight controls, then slowly backed out
of the cockpit of
the Lovely Angel. He really didn't like the direction the
conversation had
suddenly taken. Best to let something else distract them
so the discussion
turned away from him. He liked his partners well enough,
but they really
scared the
extra space
hell out of him with how weird they would get
every now and
then.
Smart Muhgi. Good Muhgi. :)
Yep. The real brains behind the Dirty Pair.
Not sure if the mix I have of the initial emotional
material at the
beginning and the new information to the plot provided in
the second half
was a balanced mix. The Iria-Kei relationship needed to
be explored, and
will continue to deepen as the chapters progress, but at
the same time I
didn't want to bog the reader down with a lot of mostly
emotional passages
to take up the majority of the fic. Hopefully it worked.
The Iria-Kei section seemed a tad long, but that could probably be
taken care of by just tightening your prose up, if you even want to
bother. I didn't find it to be a problem, necessarily.
Wanted to get most of that out of the way up front. I don't think there
will be any overly long passages like that between the two in the future.
Still lots of talk, but not quite that 'deep.'
Sorry about the dryness of this, but my allergies have left me
barely functional today.
No prob. Thanks a lot for the effort.
Very good, DB. Look forward to seeing all those firefights I seem to
recall you mentioning in Chapter 1. ^_^
They're coming. Don't be so hasty. If they have too many firefights there
won't be anyone left to kill. :)
D.B. Sommer