Hmm... Well the prose was nice and everything. My
problem with this fic was that it lacks any story
elements. Apart from the beginning with Maya
suggesting Rei keep a diary, everything else is
merely an account of the events in the series
through Rei's point of view, but I don't think
you went deep enough into her thoughts to call
this an actual "fic", and not just a synopsis.
Anyone who has watched a sufficient amount of NGE
episodes knows why Rei reveres Gendo but hates
Ritsuko etc., so you're not really breaking any
ground. Like I said, though, the actual writing
was very nice. Now just get more into Rei's
thoughts, and you'll be all set. I guess maybe
you want to keep Rei as detached as she is in the
series, but then the plot is practically a
summary of the show.
But then that's just my opinion.
Luv,
Ajax
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