Snippage throughout.
(St. H skirts are just too long!)
Sachiko: "Comment and criticise."
Michi: And crack some wise, too.
Junko: I don't think he said THAT.
Michi: Not to YOU, maybe. Eriko, get out here, they won't bite you!
Eriko: Are you sure?
AKANE: Not unless you ask nicely.
Sorry, but it's too hard to keep track of who's who.
You don't mind if I refer to you as A-ko, B-ko, C-ko,
and H-ko?
While the events portrayed in this story are original, they present,
for the first time in a fan fiction, the true, untold background
stories of Ranma 1/2, as described by Rukimo Tashahaki herself in an
exclusive interview!
Junko <cocking an eyebrow at the name>: Put on the waders, girls, it's
going to get deep.
[blushes] Well, it was only intended to be some light reading,
but I suppose it does have some deep literary merit, too...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Eerily Plausible" A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic Series
by Douglas MacDougall http://www.dougmacd.net/fanworks/
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michi: Yaaay!
Ah. This is where we establish Michi has no taste. ^_^;
For Mature Readers.
Eriko: I'm leaving.
Michi <snagging Eriko and plunking her back down in her seat>: Hey, you
might learn something!
Eriko: That's what I'm afraid of...
AKANE: You need to be more aggressive, Eriko! Reach out and grab
what you want, or else fanfic authors will walk all over you.
Take a look at poor Kasumi; she wasn't doing anything, and now
she might end up with Pantyhose! ^o^
"Hey! I wasn't doing that!" She opened the front door, walking
into the house. "Is it MY fault he wanted to give me some free samples?
Man, and that frozen banana looked like it would have been good, too."
She licked her lips.
Eriko: I don't get it.
Michi: I'll explain later.
I'm beginning to wonder whether I shouldn't
have cut out the ice cream store scene after all...
"Ah, high-spirited Akane." The two teenagers turned their glares
away from each other and came upon a sight never before seen by martial
artist eyes. Happosai was in his room reclining on a pillow, holding a
tall glass of iced tea with a little paper parasol. He wore sandals,
bright pastel swimming trunks, a Hawaiian print shirt, and a pair of
stylish sunglasses.
Michi: Uh oh. He's been hanging ten with Principal Kuno.
HAPPOSAI: I don't know what you're talking about. I bought these
when I was in Hawaii about thirty-five years ago. It was about
the time I met that wealthy Japanese woman vacationing there.
Ah, she was such a beauty...
"She stopped shortly before you were born. As much as Soun loved
your mother, she had something of a stubborn streak, and perhaps a
little bit of jealousy..."
[...]
"...Which did not mix well with her violent tendencies. She was not
Junko: I'd use emdashes, and not capitalize "Which", and maybe not even
break the paragraph.
I feel that dashes (and inserting Ranma's thoughts into the middle
of the paragraph) would just be too jarring. The ellipses accomplish
a nice trailing-off effect, gradually leading into (and out of) the
comment.
"Akane. How little you know." Happosai shook his head. "How do
you think your father and Genma met?" He pointed at her, accusing,
"They were both hiding from their wives!"
Junko: I'd say 'at her accusingly. "They'
Well, the "accuse" really applies to the words, not the pointing.
couldn't believe it when I heard it. Here, these two losers had
beautiful wives that loved them dearly, and they ran away from them. A
real man wouldn't run from a woman! He'd face her like a man."
Michi: Works for me. Ow!
HAPPOSAI: Ah, a girl of discriminating tastes!
[rubs face in Michi's breasts] Hmm. Not much there.
Akane shivered at the prospect of Happosai hitting a bunch of school
girls' sleep spots. He could do it. And then he could do whatever he
wanted with their unconscious forms... She shuddered violently with the
thought.
Eriko: I'd really rather not dwell on Happosai's... erk... virtues.
HAPPOSAI: True, it would take too long to list them all... [nod nod]
Let's just stick with Vigorousness and Longevity, you cutie!
"Sitting at a table in the corner, with several empty sake bottles
in front of them, were two men. One was large, both in height and
girth, wearing a kerchief over his head and hiding his balding hair.
Junko: How about 'wearing a kerchief over his balding head to cover his
remaining hair'?
A little too long a description, methinks. Although I will agree
that heads bald, not hair. Perhaps "wearing a kerchief to cover
his balding head."?
"The two had clearly been drinking for a long time. Their tongues
had been loosened hours ago, and they would bemoan -- loudly and with
bad slurs -- their wives.
Junko: Hah, a play on words! Vince-kun told us to watch for those!
I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about!
"So, Ranma? You can't deny it built their backbone against women.
(Or at least taught them how to run faster and longer.) And what's
wrong if I took their plunder? Would you rather I let THEM keep the
underwear?"
All: YES!
[JUSENKYO]
GENMA: [crying] My poor son, reduced to a girl... [roots though
backpack] Fortunately, I just happen to have just the right
underwear for you! Do you want silk or cotton?
"They too, were happy." Happosai folded his arms, and nodded his
Junko: '"They, too, were'... and the comma after 'arms' can go.
I'll agree on the second, but I'm not sure about the first.
I originally had two commas myself, but deleted the first
as extraneous. (Or a sign of excessive comma enthusiasm...)
head solemnly. "I was bringing adventure and excitement to the boring
lives of those women. Although they would not admit it, even to
themselves, they appreciated the fact that someone thought highly enough
of them to take something so precious from them, so intimate a reminder
of their womanhood..."
Eriko <firmly>: That's NOT the way it was. Not everyone's as perverted
as Michi.
Michi: Hey!
HAPPOSAI: In my experience, the ones who complain the most about
perverts are the biggest perverts, themselves. [nod nod]
"Ah, but I did! For you see, over the years, my training had
started to become successful. Your fathers began to stand up to (or
rather, withstand) the tempers of your mothers. It was more and more
rare that they would run away.
Unfortunately, when they did, it was for longer periods of time.
They could handle the their wives' smaller outbursts, but not the novae
Michi: "Novae"? As in immature insects?
That would be eggs, larvae, or pupae. :p
Junko: Exploding stars. I'd have said "earthquakes" myself; the flavor
would fit better.
If it weren't for the fact that earthquakes have nothing to
do with fire, killing the metaphor... (Aced Composition, feh!)
She was too busy throttling Happosai to notice him speaking.
"You're LYING! I'm not related to you! I'm NOT a pervert!!!"
Sachiko: And once again, Akane sets a new record in the Jumping To
Conclusions event...
You can't rest on your laurels! Look at Akane; she holds
the world record, but keeps trying to better herself!
Michi: Yeah, but this time I think she's right.
Of course! The logic is infallible!
Eriko: It seems to be the conclusion Doug-san wants us to reach...
Junko <smirking>: Which is exactly why I say it's wrong.
Are you implying that I would *ever* mislead my readers!
Why, I am so shocked, I don't even know how to respond!
started babbling. "I'm not like that. I'm NOT! It isn't true. It's
imPOSSible!"
Eriko: Maybe even "inconceivable"? <cringes under dirty looks> Maybe not.
[narrows eyes] You know there's a circle of hell for
punners, don't you, Eriko? Gary's waiting for you there!
He swallowed. A few months ago they had found out that Shampoo was
Happosai's great-granddaughter, and she was as perverted as him, now.
Michi <google-eyed>: Holy hentai, Catwoman, is it possible?
Okay, maybe that was a bit of exaggeration. No one is as
perverted as Happosai. Although Shampoo tries her best, and
Amazons are known for their stick-to-itiveness.
SHAMPOO: And Shampoo choose to stick to Eriko! [hug]
He had had to learn yet another special technique to defeat Cologne and
get a cure to the 'Cracked Leather Shiatsu' Technique that had forced
him to wear a bra in his cursed form.
Sachiko: I wonder if that's how Nodoka-san persuaded her to?
She has infinitely more compelling techniques...
NODOKA: Well, you don't have to wear it. Even though it
would look so nice on you. Don't worry, though, I don't
want to force you. No really, I won't be disappointed. [sigh]
He stared at Akane in
fear, eyes wide. He remembered Akane yelling that he hated boys. And
later, at Jusenkyo, that she liked him the way he was, a half-boy,
half-girl. It all made so much sense...
Junko: Clearly this is a new definition of "sense" with which I was not
previously familiar.
Feh. Your definitions are too limited. ^_^
His brain attempted the Saotome Secret Technique. Maybe Ukyo was
really the girl for him!
Sachiko: That's not the Saotome Secret Technique, that's the Kuonji
Secret Technique with Extra Sauce. The SST would be for him to make a
sonic boom departing in the direction of wherever there weren't ANY
fiancees.
I think you're confusing the Saotome Secret
Technique with a Super Sonic Transport...
Eriko: But you must admit that it's in character for Ranma not to get it
right...
ENTIRE CAST: Are you implying we're not infallible?!
Ranma tried to inch away, soothing Akane. "Of course, Akane.
There's no way that old freak is you father." She chuckled uneasily.
Junko: Even Ranma under stress would say 'your'.
That was a typo, not rough language. :p
DARTH VADER: Luke... I am you father!
"Don't SAY that! Don't call him that!!" Her desperate eyes became
crazed, filling with tears. Ranma started trying to get away in
earnest, but Akane's grip had tightened considerably.
Soun could not have picked a worse time to come into the room.
All: Now THAT's original-flavor.
And how is it that you girls know what Soun tastes like, eh?
"Akane, what's wrong?" he asked. Not even a second later, his
sympathetic voice turned to accusation. "Ranma, what have you done to
my daughter?!"
"N- Nothing!" stammered Ranma.
Michi: <impersonating Soun badly>: Well, why not?!
RANMA: She keeps using a whip on me... [cower]
AKANE: For the last time, it's a riding crop!! [crack!]
The blood draining from Soun's face was not the comforting response
she had been hoping for. "Th- The Master told you?"
[...]
Ranma blinked repeatedly. It was one thing to know that your
fiancee MIGHT be the daughter of the greatest pervert in Japan, but to
hear it from the person you thought was her father... "You mean...
Happosai really is Akane's father?"
Pausing only to stare at Ranma, Soun passed out.
Junko: I point out that that would only be taken as a "yes" by people
who-- uh oh. Hang on to your hats, here we go.
Well, I'd like to think that after Soun's "The Master told you?"
remark, they'd assume passing out was a form of escapism on his
part. ("Just us chickens!")
Akane stared at her father's... or rather Mr. Tendo's unconscious
Junko: 'or, rather, Tendo-san's'-- er, Mr. Tendo's, sorry.
See, *this* is where I should use em dashes. ^_^
There was compassion in her eyes, but she was keeping her distance;
something was holding her back. Was it fear?
Or disgust?
Michi: Nah, she just had garlic teriyaki for lunch.
Don't be silly, he wouldn't react like that!
RANMA: Mmm. Smells good. Can I get a taste of that?
AKANE: I'm sure SOMETHING can be arranged... [slink]
She couldn't take it anymore, and ran crying out of the house. She
had to get away before she did something perverted. Shampoo had been
able to hold it off for a while, but when she fell, she fell hard. She
had to hold it off, no matter what!
Michi <puzzled>: Why fight it?
Hush, I'm addressing that in a different fanfic.
A part of Ranma really wanted to follow, but she didn't have a clue
what to do if he caught up to her. Hell, Akane might have run off
Junko: 'she'. I think. Maybe. With Ranma, it's always hard to be sure.
RANMA: Hey! I'm a *guy*!
NABIKI: Oh, really?
RANMA: Stop poking those!
BECAUSE of her. Because of what she did or didn't do. If she said the
wrong thing, she might just make it worse.
Sachiko: And this is stopping Ranma why, exactly?
Eriko: It never stopped her before...
This isn't your post volume 38 WAFFy Ranma, here.
He does go after Akane, just not immediately.
"NO, of course not! How can you say such a thing about your
fiancee, Ranma?!?"
Michi <doing a bad Ranma impersonation>: Well, I opened my mouth...
RANMA: Time for practice, Michi. I'll be giving you some...
personal training, today. [juggling pins]
"MY BABY'S THE MASTER'S DAUGHTER!" wailed Soun. Torrents of tears
flowed out of his eyes. "Oh, my Darling, how could you have done this
Junko: 'Darling' or 'my darling', your choice.
Lest anyone think his wife's name was Clementine,
I'll go with the former.
This couldn't be happening. Her world was falling apart. When she
had found out about Shampoo's problem, she'd rejoiced at first. There
was no way Ranma would ever want to many a pervert like her. But as the
Michi: 'many'? Is that another one of those plays on words?
Junko: I think he means 'marry'. I hope.
Damn Freudian... [mutter mumble]
Is that what would happen to her? Reduced to a shell of a woman?
Reduced to no better than the crudest man? Had Ranma somehow been able
to see the truth from the beginning? He'd called her unfeminine the
whole time.
Sachiko: Ranma, perceptive... what's wrong with this picture?
Eriko <nodding>: She's gone loopy.
RANMA: Hey!
It was waiting for her. How long did she have left? Had it already
started? Would Ranma's gender flipping help her fight off the
perversion, or accelerate it? It was all too much to think about.
Michi <nodding enthusiastically>: By all means, let's be empirical about
this. <notices others staring at her> What? I read it in a book! <others
keep staring> I read books!
AKANE: Yes, with lots of... "pictures."
Akane blinked her eyes and saw P-Chan at her feet, looking at her
with concern. He was never around for long, but he was always there in
her time of need. He was her guardian angel.
Michi: Pigs with wings?
I already did that joke in Nature. :p
She waited for P-Chan to respond, but he just lay there in shock.
"P-Chan, are you aright? P-Chan?!" She gave him a little shake, but
Junko: 'all right?' You'll probably use that wretched 'alright', though.
Wait. Let me get this straight. Japanese schoolgirls are
telling *me* not to use progressive words *my* language?
[falls down laughing]
She put her ear to his round belly, but couldn't hear a heartbeat.
Was she listening in the wrong place? Terrified, she placed him down on
his back and applied pressure to his chest with two fingers. There was
no response. "P-Chan! Wake up! Please, answer me!"
Junko: Cardio-porcine resuscitation?
Followed by Mouth to Snout Resuscitation.
Unsure of what to do, she leaned forward, put her mouth around
P-Chan's snout, and breathed in the barest puff of air. His eyes
immediately snapped open and he started a frenetic little pig-coughing.
All: Ewww.
[snaps fingers] Darn, and I was trying to make it cute.
Sachiko: Why do I get the feeling there's something we don't know about
this pig?
RYOGA: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
"Oh, P-Chan, you're alright! I was so worried." She picked him up
again and held him tightly to her chest. He stopped coughing, opened
his eyes, realized where he was, and passed out with a nose bleed.
Michi: It's a hentai-pig! I want one! <slaps herself before the others
get a chance to> I can't believe I said that.
Sorry, Michi, but you're Vince's outlet for all the ecchi ideas
he's getting. We can already see the tone from this story
spilling over into you.
She pulled her legs up to her body and cradled herself. Was she
giving off some sort of pig signals? Did P-Chan think she was a cute
sow? Did having Happosai's blood in her veins make her some sort of
bestial pervert? Was she... leading P-Chan on without even knowing it?
Sachiko: Eerily plausible.
Junko: Funny thing about that.
Say, that sounds like a GREAT title! :D
Reluctantly, Genma stood up, stretched the kinks out of his muscles,
and walked around the house. Glancing into the rooms as he went, he
almost skipped master Happosai's room, but on a whim, decided to peek
inside.
Junko: 'Master', I think.
HAPPOSAI: Very well, since you asked so nicely,
I'll take you on as my student! [cling]
"You'll have to make it up to him," Genma continued. "But for
something this serious, you'll have to do something extra special." He
stood back up, making a fist of determination. "Well that's it, then.
You've got no choice but to marry his daughter! I know it'll be a
sacrifice--"
All: <facefault>
Sachiko: That's Genma, all right.
Genma is cool. [nod nod]
"What?!?" Again, Genma was at his friend's side. "Why haven't you
called a doctor? Oh, Tendo, why didn't you tell me you had a heart
condition--" Whack. "This is getting old, Boy."
All: Nah. Hit him a few more times.
RANMA: I don't know. For all the abuse you've been giving me
in this C&C, I'm thinking maybe Pop should be my substitute
trainer for a few days...
"Well, his old lady might have had an affair..."
Genma's eyes widened. "That's not possible, Ranma. Tendo's wife
was the epitome of a traditional loving housewife. She was just like
your mother, in a lot of ways."
Sachiko: I have a bad feeling about the line this conversation is taking.
Junko: I think you should.
On a completely unrelated note, the next chapter or "Eerily
Plausible" is titled "Pretty Ladies," and focuses on Ranma.
Ranma shrank away. "Well, we're not completely sure..." he hedged.
"I mean... It's not like he actually admitted anything. Akane could
have been jumping to conclusions.
All: "COULD HAVE BEEN"?!!!
Michi: It's her second-favorite exercise!
Which begs the question, what does Michi think
is her FAVORITE exercise? [raises eyebrow]
AKANE: Yes, we're dying to know, Michi. [glare]
"Well," said Genma in an effort to calm himself. "I guess one of
the other sisters will have to be your fiancee." He stroked his chin.
"Fortunately, Nabiki's already had some practice."
Michi: Practice makes pervert.
RANMA: Alright, girls. Time for practice!
"Wha...? Akane isn't a vampire!!!"
Michi: Yeah, this isn't "The Clan"! We'd all have been killed out by now
in that one! Either that or deflowered-- hmmm. 'Scuse me, I'm switching
writers.
Before you jump ship, let's make one correction.
It's not "or"; they're deflowered *and* killed.
"C'mon, boy. It's a martial artist's duty to kill monsters."
Junko: Look, I can live with either 'Boy' or 'boy'--
Michi: If you can't, can I have them?
Junko <whapping Michi>: --but please be consistent.
Feh. It's too hard to keep track of that stuff.
That's what C&Cers are for. ;)
Genma turned to look at his son (currently daughter) with disbelief.
"What are you saying? She's the master's DAUGHTER! Of course she's a
monster! Who knows what fiendish powers she has. She's probably a
siren, luring men to her and draining their manhood..."
[...]
Junko: But to make plurality match, it should be 'manhoods'.
Michi: Shouldn't it be 'menhood'?
Junko: No. That's how you got the C and "see me after class" on your
last test.
Michi: Oh yeah.
AKANE: Hey, she said she had to meet Mr. Godai after class because
he wanted to have a "private conversation, wink wink nudge nudge"
with her!
"Boy, she's been working her wiles on you all along! Look at you!"
Sachiko: Akane has wiles?
AKANE: Sure! Do you want me to demonstrate them? :D
As Ukyo walked away from the rental office, she occupied herself
with thoughts of what she'd like to do with the sexist jerk that owned
the building she leased for the Ucchan's. That was the reason she
hadn't brought any spatulas with her -- so she wouldn't be tempted to
Junko: 'her: so'
Nope. That's an aside, not a expanded description.
When she'd originally signed the lease, there hadn't been a problem.
But when the landlord had shown up to see what she'd done with the
Junko: Leading space.
An artifact introduced by hard-wrapping.
She hated it, but she wanted to keep her store. It's not like she
WANTED to dress like a boy. She'd eagerly taken back her femininity
after Ranchan had affirmed that, even when trying to act masculine, her
inner cuteness shined through.
Junko: 'shone'
According to this dictionary, shined is acceptable
with the intransitive.
Of course, she still wore a boy's uniform to school, but that was
strictly a comfort thing. Any little breeze (or pervert) could blow up
a skirt.
Eriko: Don't give him ideas about more uses for a Happodaikarin.
I think he's still working on the underground
subway system to service every street in Nerima.
For the n'th time that afternoon, she tugged at her shirt, trying to
get a breeze down her top to cool down.
Junko: 'Nth'
I'm sticking with it as written, as explained in my response to Gary.
What was this? Ukyo found herself slightly excited. Had Akane done
something to screw up her engagement to Ranma? She licked her lips,
trying to get more information. If they really were headed towards
spiltsville... "What makes you say that?"
Junko: 'Splitsville'
So Splitsville is a specific person, place, or thing? :j
Ukyo lifted her baseball cap up just enough to scratch her head,
without letting any of the hair fall out. "How's that a problem? What,
are you doing to turn into a sex fiend or something?" She giggled.
Michi <impersonating Ukyo>: Can I do it too?
Junko: I think he means 'going'.
Michi: Rats.
Eriko <fingers in ears>: La-la-la-la...
AKANE: Michi, have you been teaching Eriko "The Labia Song"?
Her jaw dropped. No way! Damn. The tomboy already exuded some
sort of pheromones that attracted all sorts of cute (if weird) boys to
her, and now she was going to turn into lady of the night? Her Ranchan
was strong, but living in the same house with that sort of thing would
be a terrible temptation. She had to get them apart.
Michi: You and whose crowbar?
UKYO: I don't have to listen to you, you two-bit author-created
character! Vince may have had Ranma marry Akane, but he's also
setting Kasumi up with Pantyhose! The man is clearly insane!
Indeed, Akane was shaking her head in denial. "But it won't be like
that! I won't turn into a hussy! I'm not going to turn in Shampoo!"
Junko <gagging Michi before she can say anything>: 'turn into Shampoo!"'
AKANE: How could I turn her in? We're sisters in arms...
SHAMPOO: [nodding] As many sisters as Shampoo can hold!
"It doesn't seem possible, does it?" He gave a half-hearted laugh,
Michi <gagging Junko in retaliation> 'She'. Hah, I got one!
SHAMPOO: Shampoo get many more "she"s...
She reflexively reach for her back, and had a sinking feeling when
there was no feel of solid metal. That's right; she'd left Mr. Spatula
and all her other weapons at home.
All <incredulously>: "Mr. Spatula"??
Michi: I'm having a flashback to Dave Roeder's last chapter. Yowza.
Nonsense. His Ukyo would name it "Spatula-san."
(Or just "Mine!" ;)
Akane lost her train of thought, confused by something. "I like..."
She glanced at Ukyo's chest. Her hands were on the young boy's collar,
but her forearms were pressed against his chest. But there was
something... weird with it.
[...]
She pressed a hand against on of the lumps.
Eriko: Oh, my.
AKANE: Your lumps will have to wait.
Squeeze.
Michi: Or, to quote Viz, "goosh". Hey, that's what I need, sound effects!
ATARU: They use another word quite a bit, too! [glom]
"Eee!" The boy squeaked in a most effeminate manner. Akane tilted
her head and squinted here eyes. There was something familiar with that
face. If she didn't know better, she'd say the boy looked like...
"Ukyo?"
All: PIN-PON!!
Pon: What is with you sick bastards?! Do I look like some sort
of party favor? I'm not a donkey, and I'm not supposed to
have a tail! [whimper]
"I'm only trying to protect you!" Genma flailed, having been
securely fastened to a chair by the only material handy: hundreds of
brassieres.
Junko: I'd omit 'having been'. And the space after the colon.
As with periods, colons are supposed to have two spaces after them.
At least, that's what they told me in college writing...
"I'm going out to find Akane."
"Wait! Don't go! You must avoid her! What if she forces hot,
passionate sex on you? What if you get her pregnant?!"
Michi: Hah? Isn't that what they've been trying to talk Ranma INto for
many many chapters?
Sachiko: Wait for it.
GENMA: It's brilliant I tell, you! Brilliant! I'm an evil genius!
Really! Who'd you think they named Gendo after, huh?
Panic edged
into his voice. "I don't want the next generation of Happosais to have
Saotome blood in them! Think of HUMANITY!"
Michi: Two words: pervert pandas.
They're squeezably soft!
"He thinks he's beaten me, but he's fallen prey to Anything Goes
Martial Arts Reverse Psychology! Foolish boy!"
Michi: Oh, I get it now. Smooth.
GENMA: A genius, I tell you!
Genma blinked. She'd actually...? And he'd sent his only son
after...? "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
Michi: Look on the bright side. Maybe the kid will learn the Akane-Ken
after he's been ravished a few times.
RANMA: That's the bright side? I hang around Akane too much and I
start acting like Akane? So I ravish another person so *they*
learn the Akane-ken? And then they...
AKANE: Neat! Say, is this what Converging Series is about?
Unless, maybe she'd WANTED to be fooled? She'd let herself think of
Ukyo as a boy, because if he grabbed the chest of a man, it wouldn't be
perverted.
Junko: 'she'. Unless Akane's REALLY confused.
Well, she is, but she should still say "she". ^_^;
But Ukyo was no boy, no matter how she dressed. Ukyo was startled
by Akane's reaction, but Akane had been horrified to the core. Ukyo was
able to run away from the situation, but no amount of running would let
Akane escape herself.
Sachiko: How profound...
Michi <munching popcorn>: I want some fan-service, dammit.
I *gave* you a breast groping; what more do you want?!
She held onto the tree for balance, taking deep, soothing breaths.
She had to calm down. Think about this calmly. She had to-- Giggling
female voices came from deeper into the trees. A manic grin slowly grew
on her face.
She knew exactly what to do to feel better.
All: Uhoh.
AKANE: Do I hear the voices of my GOOD friends from St. Ecchi?
[manic grin]
The shell-shocked chef slowly
looked into Ranma's eyes. And then
grabbed him in a hug. "It was so horrible!" She pressed her cheek into
Ranma's chest.
Michi: Hey, good move. I'll have to remember that one.
Just make sure he's not a she.
(Then again, whatever floats your boat...)
When Shampoo flipped, at least the groping and been spread all around!"
Junko: er... 'groping had been spread'? But she's there-then, so she'd
say 'groping was spread', wouldn't she?
You would have me use the imperfect in my fic?! [huff]
"Just throw back our clothes!" hissed the sandy-blonde.
[...]
The girl with the aqua hair shook her friend. "Sh- She's coming
back!"
Eriko: Why do I sense a thinly-veiled crossover-cameo?
I have no idea. [turns off Cartoon Network]
"There's Mousse, with his long hair and soulful eyes. Taro's lithe
body. Ryunosuke, with his gentle manner and long lashes. Konatsu."
She tapped her chin. "Have you ever noticed that good looking boys look
a lot like good looking girls?"
Michi: C'mon, fanservice! Stop just talking about the good-looking boys!
Haven't you ever heard of the delay of gratification? :j
(I'm sure you're familiar with it... >;)
Akane couldn't take it any more. "I was scared, okay! Maybe I
overreacted, but I was desperate! How would you react if you knew you
might turn into Happosai?"
Sachiko: Spring of Drowned Perverted Old Martial-Arts Master... what's
that in Chinese?
Others: Eeeek.
GUIDE: Not so tragic story of Perverted Old Martial-Arts
Master what drown the other day. Eeeeknichuan.
"I had to know. I HAD to! If I knew, at least I could do something
about it! But I can't take not knowing! I don't want to turn into
something else and not even recognize it's happening to me! I'm going
to go down kicking a screaming!!"
Eriko <glaring at Michi>: Don't say it.
Hey, she doesn't have to. After all, she's
already conditioned you to think it. ;)
"I guess it's just a good thing that you found out you're not
attracted to girls as soon as you did. Those two girls are upset, and
Ukyo, but it could have been a lot worse..."
Michi: And thunder rumbles.
KUNO: Alas, there are no plans to put me in this storyline...
"There she is, officer!" "That's the... the... PERSON that did this
to me!" "Give me back my innocence!!!"
Michi: Told you.
Eriko: "Innocence?" La-la-la-la-la-la!
AKANE: I'm getting worried. Lately, when Eriko looks at me, she
starts to blush and turns away, babbling. [ponders] I think
she might have a crush on me.
She sat up, glaring at him angrily. "I don't WANT to think about
it, Ranma! But I don't know what kind of pervert I'm going to turn
into! I have to know what to expect, so I can do something about it!"
Michi: Sadist.
Others: <nodnod>
AKANE: I'll see you guys for practice! [crack!]
Akane had a vision of her running through a grassy field with
Happosai, only his gi was white, and had the symbol for 'youth' printed
on it. She picked him up and spun him in her arms. They stared into
each others' sparkling eyes, and Akane pulled her man in for a deep
kiss. Their tongues probed each other's--
Michi: I just love SD flashbacks.
Michi had a vision of herself running through a grassy field with
Happosai, only his gi was white, and had the symbol for 'youth' printed
on it. She picked him up and spun him in her arms. They stared into
each others' sparkling eyes, and Michi pulled her man in for a deep...
"I just thought of another type of perversion you should avoid."
"What?"
"Sadism."
All: Awwww.
AKANE: Well, since you've all agreed to help me... [crack!]
She tasted salt, and realized she was licking her lips, covered with
beads of sweat. It felt as though the heat was directly penetrating her
body. Ranma. A wild horse. And sometimes girl. Able to take a
beating. "You're a pervert's delight, Ranma."
All: PIN-PON!!
Pon: [twitch]
Leaping off the roof, she felt a wonderful flush, as her heart
started beating more rapidly. Time for the hunt. "RanMA!!!"
Michi: Now THAT's WAFFy.
I try my best, but it keeps sneaking in. [sigh]
Soun was the first to break the silence. "I knew it! I knew my
Darling would never betray me so!" He started crying happily, freeing
Genma.
Junko: How is his crying freeing Genma? Or is he crying while freeing Genma?
NOT-DOUG: What, you've never heard of Crying Freemen? ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Started 1999-05-20 Completed 2000-08-02 Last modified 2000-08-04
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michi: Whoa. And I thought Vince-kun wrote slow.
Others: Sssssh!
I do have the excuse of a dozen chapters
of another series in between. :j
The tinniest of frowns passed over her face, as she thought of how
Junko: 'tiniest', I hope.
She's been opening the cans with her teeth again, I'm afraid.
After all, she'd gotten better after that nice old man had visited.
He had shown her how she could channel her excess energy and distribute
it outside of her body. She'd used it on Doctor Tofu, and the normally
calm doctor had become much more fun and lively!
Sachiko: Eerily--
All: --plausible.
Junko: Hey, after what he taught Hinako-sensei, anything's possible.
Yep, it's just two sides of the same coin.
(Anyone who tries to turn that into a pun will be shot.)
(And Dave will be shot if he so much as smirks!)
Junko: Well, Doug-san, I hope we were able to fill in for Vince-kun
Honorifics are evil! EEEvil!
adequately. If he were here, I'm sure he'd say that this is just the
sort of madcap misunderstanding-filled mayhem that he reads Ranma 1/2
for, and one reason he reads Ranma fanfic.
Well, I'm glad he likes it. But I'm afraid in the
future the misunderstandings, well... Aren't ^_^
Michi: But next time more fanservice, OK? And I mean guys with their
shirts off, the sleek muscles of their chests beckoning the lucky girls
who run away just fast enough not to escape... er, excuse me, I need to
go take a cold shower. Akane's so lucky...
/me takes notes. "Rip off shirt..." "Girls not fast enough to
escape..." Why do I get the feeling I'm not doing this the way
Michi meant?
Sachiko: Doug-san, I particularly enjoyed the comic characterization
(especially of Genma) and the snappy dialogue.
Glad you liked it. I certainly have a lot of fun writing Genma,
and he plays a big role at the end of this little series. ^_^
[cue ominous music]
Eriko: Can I take my fingers out of my ears now?
AKANE: Yes, pull your fingers out of wherever they've been, Eri... ;)
Thanks for the comments!
Doug
----
Douglas MacDougall "You were nicer when you were evil.
http://www.dougmacd.net Cuter, too. Definitely more sexy!"