"I think I would like to see the love story," Rei commented. Asuka
shrugged.

Hikari smiled. "_The Princess Bride_ it is, then," she said as she
slid the disc into the player. The microwave dinged in the kitchen and
she ran off to get the popcorn.

I must say I like your taste in movies, Sparky, and I wonder what the other DVD was, hm?

There was an embarrassed cough from EVA-05's entry plug. "No, I do
not," Kaoru said. "Like I have said before, it is not something about
which it is polite to ask."

Perhaps "...it is not something about which that is polite to ask."  I'm not sure on this one, but structurally, we have "...it is not something <adjective modifier> that is polite to ask."  I think.  But get a female's opinion.  They're usually better at grammar and the like than males (although I pride myself heavily on my abilities with technical English -- damned shoddy American ignorance towards its own language).  I may be wrong, but my suggeston is what I would have written.

I know this will sound stupid, but somehow I get the feeling no one else will say or even notice it.  Ahem.  No one visited Rei in the hospital!  Granted that Shinji is the antagonist of the story, but it'd been nice is while Misato was speaking that it be mentioned that someone visited Miss Ayanami.  I suppose I could babble more than everyone can stand and I suppose I already have.  The focus is on Shinji, so it is fine to leave it that way.
 ...I suppose.

Well, although this is my first time commenting upon AotF, I will say that I have read the original version and all the chapters of the new version leading up to this point.  A few thoughts of mine, as one mortal, is:

- I don't see Ritsuko thinking much about the Children, especially with her lust of revenge and its conflict with her love (even it it was set up, as described in this fic) for Gendo.  Still, the idea behind that scene with MAGI, or Naoko, was neat in a back-of-the-mind sort of way.

- battles.  I cannot say I've ever really been into the action in the realm of Evangelion.  I don't think the series was ever about action (and thus I found most of it simply lame), and it is already difficult enough to make action exciting in writing (for inspiration and guidance, read Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six, where action is concise but everything before and after is action in itself), so putting the two together just doesn't work for me.  Finally, I like John Woo, not necessarily for his style, but the mere fact that he emphasizes action to make it more than it is -- something that is outstanding and aesthetically pleasing.

- the characterization and the way it is going is at the obvious hand of its writer, who is religiously guided and optimistic (or so it seems to me).  That's great and makes for a great fic.  In an essay I'm working on for my site, however, I will be writing about a fan production vs the original it is based off of.  In the case of EVA, religious and optimistic ... neither work too well, but aren't suicidal, either.  Fortunately, it has a rather exceptional writer going for it, which is possibly one of the sole reasons, if not the sole reason, why it has a greater audience than most other fics.

- WAFF scenes.  Hm... well, I will say this: most WAFF scenes will leave me rolling about on the floor, gasping, choking, and quivering myself into a seizure.  So far, that hasn't happened to me yet with this fic.  But those Shinji/Koaru scenes are cutting it real close.  Actually, what that last statement says is that something that should have forever defiled my eyes hasn't.  It is a good thing that Koaru went into a little detail about his perspective on love.  Even if it got boring and more deep than it had to at times (in my opinion, a better job of that was done in this chapter than in the other one where Koaru converses with Misato), it was necessary, or I would surely have died.
 ...but that's just me.

I'm not going to go into spelling and grammar, since any writer can find them himself, and you certainly have a good grasp of it and you already either double-check or you're very lucky, so I'll leave the little things out of this review.  I'd rather stick with the bigger ideas when I have to criticize, anyhow.

Sobs for poor Rei, all alone ... well, I guess that how EVA characters, especially Rei, were supposed to be.  But then, Shinji was, too.  Excuse me, I have something in my eye (can you tell I love Miss Ayanami Rei yet?).  Ah, well, before go on about things that don't directly apply to this fic and encourage people to set my house on fire, I digress.
 ...and please, do not set my house on fire, thank you.

Pretty fun, and even light to boot.

Sorry if my humor seems lame, but it is very late, or early, and I have to usher in church tomorrow, so I'd better sleep and try to look manageable in the morning.

But for now, on to the omake!
 ...I love you, Sparky.

- Jon, who is just a wee bit high on milk tea.
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