"Ran-chan! Don't do it!"
Ranma turned a tired, world-weary expression towards Shampoo and Ukyo,
the open bottle of Jusenkyo water not quite managing to spill from his
grasp. "I have to."
"Baka airen." Shampoo tried to lunge forward to stop her love, but the
instant she let go of the tree she was leaning on for support, she
collapsed. "Life no worth living if..." The rest of her words were
drowned out by the growling of her stomach.
"You - *both* of you - had lives before you met me. You'd be better off
returning to them. I've got nothing."
"Help's on the way, sugar! Akane'll be here with the truck in an hour,
and the city's only a few hours' drive away. She's bringing her
cooking..." Ukyo fought down a wince at what she was about to suggest.
"Yeah, and that's why I have to do this. As it is, you'd barely have
one hour left. If I didn't...we might all die. My soul can rest in
peace if I know I've spared you from *that* fate." Before either
fiancee could speak another word, he upended the bottle of Maruchan on
himself. "I love..."
And then there was silence.
"Baka." A single tear fell from Ukyo's cheek. "Don't you know you need
hot water to prepare it?"
Shampoo was already crawling towards the styrofoam cups. "Maybe spatula
girl do. Shampoo eat raw many time."
---
For those who don't get the joke: Maruchan's one of the larger producers
of instant ramen. (Or so I've been lead to believe, given as it's
usually the only brand I see on supermarket shelves...)