(This is a repost of a fic originally titled "Unseen World.")
While the events portrayed in this story are original, they present,
for the [second] time in a fan fiction, the true, untold background
stories of Ranma 1/2, as described by Rukimo Tashahaki herself in an
exclusive interview!
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"Eerily Plausible" A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic Series
by Douglas MacDougall http://www.dougmacd.net/fanworks/
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Ranma 1/2 (c) Rumiko Takahashi / Shogakukan, Inc. Story and art by
Rumiko Takahashi. English adaptation by Gerard Jones and Toshifumi
Yoshida. RANMA 1/2 is a trademark of Viz Communications, Inc. This
story may be freely redistributed, but not altered or used for profit.
For Mature Readers.
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Part 1: A New Evil Wakes
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"Ranma! You've got to help me defeat the panty thief that's been
plaguing our fair city!"
"Sure thing, old man!"
"Ag... Ack... What... Are you doing to your master, you
ungrateful..."
Ranma lifted his foot off Happosai's flattened head. "I thought you
wanted me to stop the panty thief?"
"Not ME, you idiot!"
"I dunno, you look like a panty thief to me..." Ranma dug his heel
back into the elder's head.
"Why you...!" The disgruntled martial arts master pulled a small
bomb from his gi and tossed into Ranma's hands. "Happo Fire Burst!"
"Wak!" Ranma was blasted out of the room moments before the members
of the Tendo household made their way in.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "A NEW panty thief?"
"How terrible!" Kasumi noted, sipping some tea.
Happosai straightened out his clothes and sat down cross-legged on
the mat (with a few pillows added for extra height). "Indeed. As I was
making my daily patrol last night, I noticed the fiend skulking about
the balconies of the Twin Towers apartment complex. He was moving from
porch to porch, snatching ladies' underthings as he went.
"It was horrible! He wore the darkness as if it were cloak, and
moved like a cat! His feet found purchase anywhere, but did not make a
sound. I could see his unnaturally large eyes absorbing the light, no
doubt allowing him to see in the dark."
Akane had since sat down to listen to the story, and a smoking Ranma
crawled in to join her.
"Of course, I could not let such a creature threaten the innocent
maidens of the complex!"
"And their panties," noted Ranma.
"Of course.," nodded Happosai solemnly. "So without a moment's
hesitation (that is, after I... um... collected my strength)..."
Akane rolled her eyes.
"...I attacked the thief. If I thought him catlike before, now I
knew it. He leapt instantly out of the way, arching his back and
performing a perfect backflip, landing softly on the ground. His body
bent and twisted with a contortionist's ease. I could barely keep track
of his silhouette.
"After I put the bra he was about to steal into a... safer place, I
leapt down and confronted him. 'Who do you think you are?' I asked.
'Don't you know that you are intruding on the grounds of Happosai, the
Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts?!' But he didn't say
a word.
"Since it didn't like it was going to be a very interesting fight, I
decided to end it quickly with a Fire Burst. Unfortunately, he batted
it out of the air like a ball of yarn and back at me! Of course, I was
completely unharmed. However, I decided to take a few minutes to...
intensely meditate upon the situation and decide a course of action.
"While I was uncon-- (er) in my meditative state, the thief had
started to tie me up. I don't know why. Everyone seems to want to tie
me up. Why is that? Do they think I'm into bondage? I mean, just
because I'm a virile old man--"
Ranma shouted, "We don't care about that, you old freak!"
"No need to be rude, Ranma." Happosai bludgeoned him with smoking
pipe. "Anyway, the burglar had started to tie me up when I woke-- (that
is), when I snapped out of my meditative state. The fool had fallen
right into my trap!
"As I'm sure you all know, close combat is a specialty of the
Happosai School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. No one alive can stop
these babies!" Happosai wiggled his wrinkled fingers. Ranma
unconsciously scratched his chest.
"I went into Mr. Bondage with righteous fury, quickly driving him
back. His belated attempts at defense didn't help at all. 'Give up,
boy!' I cried, poking him in the chest with my pipe. 'You're no match
for me.' But he only hissed. I was about to strike a final blow with
my pipe when I suddenly became disoriented. He appeared to be pulling
something out from under his collar. No doubt it was some magical
trinket that was affecting me. In my daze, he was able to get in a
lucky kick and knock me into the air.
Happosai started to frown. "I landed in the canal, and by the time
I got back, the pervert and my precious collection were gone!" He
started crying, "Ranma, you've got to help me get my collection back!
There's no telling what an unscrupulous type like him might do with
them!" Somehow the ancient master had managed to splash Ranma and was
now clinging to her bosom.
"Aaaah! Get OFF!!" Ranma tried peeling him off, but he was more
tenacious then normal. She started running around the house.
"So there's ANOTHER pervert in Nerima!" Akane made a fist. "Well
it stops here! We don't have to take this anymore!"
Soun and Genma were now in the room. "A pervert even worse than the
Master." Genma scratched his chin. "Who would have thought of it?"
"Indeed, Saotome. And who would want to?"
"Well said, Tendo, well said."
Akane stomped as she got up. "I'm going to stop this new panty
thief!"
"What?" Soun's jaw dropped open. "But Akane..."
"There's enough perverts here already!" Ranma and Happosai stopped
running around the house and glanced in at Akane. After they satisfied
themselves that she wasn't talking about them, they returned to their
business.
"But Akane, what if the pervert comes after you? You know how you
attract this sort of thing..." He tried to ignore Akane's sub-vocalized
growl. "Just leave this to Ranma."
"THAT pervert will probably only make him stronger!" Outside, faint
voices could be heard. "Hotcha!" "Hey! Don't touch that, you old
goat!"
"Uh... Well then, we'll come protect you!"
"What?" Genma hadn't signed on for this!
"We have to protect my daughters!"
Nabiki looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "And how will you
protect Kasumi and me if you're off with Akane? We're not martial
artists. How will we protect ourselves if the panty thief finds this
house full of beautiful, young maidens, all alone... Unprotected?"
"Oh, my!"
"I'LL protect you bab-- erk." Nabiki's upraised foot implanted into
Happosai's descending face. Boy-type Ranma came running around the
corner steaming and dripping wet. He grabbed the dazed master and
started tying him up.
The dazed master spoke in a small voice, "i told you i'm not into
bondage..."
"Shut UP!!!" Ranma beat the ball of rope holding the Master.
"i'll be good..."
Soun was still upset. "Akane, are you sure you won't stay here?"
"No way!"
"But I can't just leave your daughters alone, Akane..."
"Dad, I care take care of myself..."
"Who're you kidding, Akane?" said Ranma. "Just leave everything to
me. I'll take care of it. I'm used to dealing with perverts."
"It takes a pervert to catch a pervert?"
Soun nodded, "Yes, leave this to Ranma."
Ranma realized something. "Hey!" He glared as Akane.
"Dad, I'm not leaving this to Ranma. He can't stop perverts; he
just attracts them. We have to send a message!"
"But..."
"Who're you calling a pervert, tomboy?"
Although taking a beating from a prospective fiancee is expected as
part of the path of a true martial artist, Genma didn't feel like
watching his son get pummeled again. "Why don't we form a posse?"
Soun and Akane looked at him. "A what?"
"A posse. We'll all get together, even Kasumi and Nabiki, and go
out on patrol. We'll be able to protect each other, and when we find
the panty thief, he'll see just how many people are against him."
Soun was ecstatic, "An angry mob! That's a wonderful idea,
Saotome!"
"Of course, Tendo," Genma grinned.
Akane was frowning. An angry mob? Then she grinned. The more the
merrier, right? "I'm going to make some calls!"
"It's settled then," said Soun, "We'll form up in the dojo and start
our patrol. Make sure all your underwear's locked up!!!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. Kasumi got up and started walking towards
her room. "Yes, father."
* * * * *
"I feel stupid."
"This hurts!"
"How do you wear these things?"
"Would you all just SHUT UP!!!" Ukyo yelled at the top of her
lungs. What a useless, whiney bunch of girls...
"Maybe you're used to have your breasts crushed flat by bindings,
Ukyo, but the rest of us aren't." Akane itched at wrappings under her
shirt. Yuka and Sayuri nodded emphatically.
"You'll get used to it."
"I don't WANT to get used to having by chest flattened!"
"Gee, Akane, with YOUR chest, who'd not--" Ranma withered at
Akane's glance.
"Well, you all wanted to come after the panty thief. If you don't
want him stealing your bra or groping you, this is the best solution..."
"I still say I could taken care of the freak by my--" No sooner had
he said the words them Ranma was stared down by ALL the women in the
group. "Nevermind."
Akane grinned. Maybe he could learn, after all. The party
consisted of about twenty people. Everyone in the Tendo household
(except Happosai, who was left tied up), Ukyo, Miss Hinomiya, and a
bunch of Akane's girl friends from school. Kuno, Hiroshi and Daisuke
had tagged along when they saw the huge group of cute girls, but were
upset when they all "wrapped up" and wore shirts and pants instead of
more feminine clothing.
"Oh, how the heavens weep to see the beauty of such fair maidens
hidden so! I must protect you from the ravages of the creature that
stalks the night, and put an end to his unholy reign of terror." Kuno
looked with distaste at his travelling companions. "And, of course,
protect you from the predations of the lecherous Saotome."
"Hey!"
"When this night is done, you shall all be safe and free." He
spread his arms wide, "And then I shall DATE you!"
"Delinquent." Miss Hinomiya drained him dry, leaving a withered
husk of Kuno, and filling out her own adult form. Hiroshi and Daisuke
wisely kept quiet, enjoying the show.
"Whose stupid idea was this mob, anyway?" muttered Ukyo. They were
just fighting each other.
Genma bigsweated. "Look!" He pointed into the darkness. "The
pervert!"
"Where?!?" As everyone in the mob turned to look, Genma made
himself scarce. Only Ranma and Akane weren't tricked.
Akane narrowed her eyes. "Hey, wait, I do see something!" A dark
form was weaving an uneven path along rooftops behind them. Ranma saw
the figure too. "Get him!!!" they cried.
The two bolted off, leaving the rest of the party confused. Ukyo
was berating herself for falling for one of Genma's stupid tricks, and
everyone else was wondering whom Ranma and Akane were talking about.
The only 'him' the girls could see were two schoolboys and the hapless
Mr. Tendo...
"Uh, ladies...?" asked the mustachioed man.
Meanwhile, Ranma had vaulted directly to the rooftop to intercept
the stranger. Unfortunately, as we went up, the other person dropped
down into the adjacent alleyway that Akane had walked into.
A solid crack of knuckle against bone could be heard below.
"Akane?!" Ranma immediately jumped back down to where he had heard the
noise. He landed at the other end of the alleyway, which was lit by a
streetlight, above. Stark shadows were everywhere.
Akane appeared to be in tears, kneeling on the ground. Ranma
grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Are you okay? Did
the pervert get you?!?"
Much to his dismay, Akane shoved him out of the way and crawled over
to a body crumpled by the wall of the building he had just leapt down
from. A spiderweb of cracks covered the concrete siding.
"I'm SO sorry, Ryoga!" wailed Akane. "I didn't know it was you! I
thought you were the panty thief!"
"Just what we need," frowned Ranma.
It's... It's okay, Akane," mumbled Ryoga. He was rubbing the back
of his head, still a little confused about what was going on. "Wait a
minute. hat's this about a panty thief?" He turned to glare at Ranma.
"What has your perverted master been up to while I was gone?!?"
"He AIN'T my master!"
Akane was helping Ryoga up. "It isn't Master Happosai. There's a
new panty thief who's even better them him."
Ryoga shuddered. "How could you let this happen, Ranma?!"
"Huh?"
"This new underwear thief might try to steal Ak- Akane's... p- p-"
"P-Chan?" Ranma supplied.
"Shut up!" Ryoga reflexively looked at Akane to gauge her reaction,
and then continued to yell at Ranma, "You should be trying to stop this
thief and protect Akane! And you call yourself a man?"
"Hey! Whaddya think we're DOIN' out here?!?"
Ryoga, however, was now ignoring Ranma and holding Akane's hands.
"Please allow me to protect you from this thief, Akane. I'll help you
bring him to justice."
Ranma rolled his eyes.
"Th- Thanks, Ryoga. We could really use your help!"
"Anything for you, Akane. You know I'd..."
"Shut up!" silenced Ranma.
A person was approaching them from the other end of he alleyway.
Hidden within the shadows between the two buildings, only their
silhouette could be seen. A silhouette carrying something large over
its shoulder. The person was tall, and seemed to slink towards them,
reminding Ranma of all the stupid cat analogies the old goat had made.
His face twitched.
"I'll protect you, Akane!" Ryoga leapt into action, down into the
shadows of the alleyway, and grabbed the presumed thief. Akane started
to move forward as well, but Ranma held his arm out to bar her way.
Something about the figure wasn't right.
Ryoga suddenely let out an "eep!" noise, and his head violently
pulled back. He collapsed onto the ground, falling back into the light.
Akane drew a startled breath at the sight of blood all over Ryoga's
face. "His nose... It must be broken!"
Ranma crouched low, not wanted to think about what could do that to
a walking brick like Ryoga. He soon got his answer as a woman moved
halfway into the light. He tried to ignore the lighting effects as they
highlighted certain top-heavy elements of her physique.
"Uh..." He swallowed nervously.
"Another delinquent. He should know better then to grab his
elders."
"Miss Hinako!?" yelled Akane.
"No way!!" added Ranma.
"What's going on, teacher?" asked Akane.
Ranma's mind was going about as fast as it ever did, and he had
realized something horrible. "Of course! It all makes sense now!"
Akane turned to look at him.
"You've always been able to beat the Master. And after training
under him for so long you've picked up his perver--" his commentary was
cut off by a quick blow to the head from his teacher.
"Don't be disgusting, Saotome! I'M not the pervert here."
Miss Hinako stepped forward, making a point of giving the
unconscious Ryoga a wide berth. As she had moved fully into the light,
they could now see the shape slung over her shoulder.
Akane rushed forward. "Dad?!"
Miss Hinako carefully slid the unconscious, beaten form of the elder
Tendo off her shoulder and onto the ground.
"Oh, Dad! The panty thief got him!"
Ranma recovered from the blow to his head and looked at the taller
man. He noted that most of the bruises were on his arms, indicating
that he had blocked most of the attacks. "He must have put up a good
fight. I didn't think he had it in him."
Akane held her father's hand and looked at Miss Hinako. "Was he
able to stop the panty thief? Or slow him down... Are my friends
okay!?"
Just then Nabiki and Kasumi peered came into the alleyway. Nabiki
glanced at the recovering Ryoga, and Akane and Ranma. "You guys finish
your 'martial artist duty' and get the panty thief?" She looked at
Ryoga as she stepped over him and joined Akane. "Who would have
guessed?"
Akane glanced back at her bruised father. "Didn't the thief come
after you...?"
Nabiki smirked. "Friendly fire, I'm afraid."
Confusion painted Akane's face.
"Those... delinquents started attacking poor Mr. Tendo," explained
Miss Hinako. "Well, after they trashed the boys. For some reason, they
thought he was the panty thief.
"He tried his best, but they all ganged up on him. He never had a
chance against a mob of angry schoolgirls. So I drained the lot of
them." She held up a fifty-yen coin meaningfully.
"Fortunately father protected us from the drain," supplied Kasumi.
Ranma had had enough of explanations. "Geez, this was all a stupid
idea. You girls should never have come along. Just let me take care of
this myself."
"Ranma's right," agreed Ryoga grudgingly. He had just gotten up and
had wiped away his nosebleed. He could only hope that Akane hadn't
seen. "The thief could strike anywhere while we talk, and you girls are
in danger as long as he is about."
"Oh, no!" said Akane.
"Oh dear..." said Nabiki.
"Oh, my!" said Kasumi.
Ryoga and Ranma looked at each other dumbly.
Akane glared at them. Well, at Ranma, anyway. "My friends are all
unconscious out there!" She pointed to the other end of the alleyway,
back from where she had come.
"They're sitting ducks!" realized Ranma. He ran out to the sidewalk
and found all of the girls with their houses opened and chest wrappings
missing. He quickly turned around and found himself facing Akane.
"I didn't look!"
"Ranma, what are you doing? We can't leave them like that! We've
got to cover them up and get them inside."
"Wh- what!?" Ranma stammered. Ryoga looked even more
uncomfortable. Kasumi and Nabiki had started taking care of the girls,
while Miss Hinako carried back Soun's unconscious body. Ranma could
believe what his green-eyed finacee was expecting him to do. "Y- You
want me to touch their--"
Akane quickly realized where her stupid fiance's thought were.
"What are you thinking?!? You PERVERT!" She pulled her arm back to
slap him when her world started spinning at a fantastic rate.
"Akane!" Ranma rushed forward to stop Akane's blurring top-like
movement. What had happened? He spread his arms wide and let Akane
grind to a halt spinning against him. His eyes nearly popped out of his
head when he saw her shirt was open and her bindings had been removed.
The strip of cloth must have been yanked off, spinning her like a
gyroscope.
Her eyes were rapidly moving right to left, and her head was rolling
around. Knocked out cold. He looked down to make sure she was okay.
He blinked. "They're bigger then I remem--" Ryoga slammed a fist
into Ranma's head.
"You PERVERT! Stop molesting Akane!!!"
Ranma started to respond to the accusation when Kasumi and Nabiki
started backing into a wall, looking warily at the skies. "Uh, boys..."
"Shit!" Ryoga immediately grasped the situation. While he wanted
to help Akane, there wasn't much more he could do for her now. Nabiki
and Kasumi needed their immediate help.
Miss Hinako pulled out her coin and traced a wide circle in the air.
In a blur a small shape whizzed down between her outstretched arms. It
resolved into a black-clad person of indeterminate height with a sack
over his shoulder. He wore a mask, and his head was covered with a
kerchief just like Happosai's.
Hinako's eyes went wide as she stared into the eyes of her
assailant.
Ryoga ran to help her, but the thief leapt up and hopped off of the
teacher's head and onto the rooftops. Hinako crumpled, but Ryoga caught
her before he she landed against the hard pavement.
The thief, in addition to knocking her out somehow, had completely
unbuttoned her one-piece. He hadn't found anything, though. Miss
Hinako's little-girl form hardly needed to wear a bra. Then again, as
Ryoga looked down, he realized this big-girl body most certainly did.
Soon his entire body was beet-red from a full-body blush.
"Look after Akane!" yelled Ranma. He didn't wait for the older
sisters to respond before grabbing the twitching Ryoga away from Hinako
and leaping onto the rooftop after the thief. As long as he was on his
tail, the other girls should be alright. "C'mon, idiot!" "Who're you
calling an idiot, you jerk!" Ryoga snapped out of his daze and started
struggling, so Ranma let go of him and he landed on the next rooftop.
"I've got to go back and help Akane!"
Ranma scowled at him. "Idiot! We have to get the thief NOW or
he'll just come and get Akane again later!" Ryoga seemed torn by
indecision, but Ranma couldn't wait for a response and let the thief get
away, so he bounded off again.
Reluctantly, Ryoga found himself agreeing with Ranma (again!).
"Hey! Wait up!" He ran hard to catch up with Ranma, who was himself
pushing hard to catch up with the thief. The two mostly moved forward,
but due to the layout of the houses, occasionally jumped from side to
side.
He watched as the pig-tailed boy managed to outmaneuver his quarry.
While the thief jumped left and then forward, Ranma made a bigger leap
to the house forward, and then jumped to the roof on the left. He
dropped low and spun his leg where the thief would land, but the thief
managed to avoid the blow, flipping backwards, and landing neatly in a
low crouch. A bag of booty slung undisturbed over his shoulder.
Ranma cursed the fact that he had missed, but he figured that if
this pervert was able to beat the old goat, he was bound to have a FEW
tricks. The crouched form had purposefully landed on the side of the
roof slanted away from the nearby streetlights so as to stay in the
shadows. Crouched closely against the surface, Ranma couldn't gauge his
height or reach.
And the eyes. Happosai had been right. About the only thing he
could see were the thief's eyes, which were big and round. Not cat-like
at all, he assured himself. The pupils were large and dark, not slits.
As he was staring at the thief's eyes, they opened even wider in
surprise.
If the thief was surprised, he'd best press his offensive advantage.
"Let go of that sack, you freak!" He leapt up and launched a flying at
the prone body, but it rolled aside and starting leaping away even
faster then before. After smashing some roof tiles from his strike, he
turned around.
"He's scared of something..." Ranma got a cocky grin. No doubt the
new freak had heard of his fighting skills and knew he was no match for
him. He started to turn around and continue the pursuit when his legs
were clipped from behind him.
"Gotcha!" Vice-like arms held his legs fast. Lying down and
fumbling for leverage, Ranma turned and half-rolled onto his side,
twisting his torso around so he could strike the person holding him.
"Ryoga, you IDIOT!!" He knuckled the boy in the head. Causing him
to blink.
"Where'd he go?"
"Let me go, you idiot, he's getting away!" He kicked his legs free
and Got up. He paused a moment to find the thief again, and started
running, redoubled his speed. He moved so fast that it really seemed
like he was running along the rooftops instead of leaping from one to
the next. Ryoga quickly followed, so they were running neck and neck.
Ever so slowly they closed the distance, following the curving trail
across the rooftops of Nerima. When they were only one house behind,
Ranma decided he was close enough to try to make another strike.
Just as he had the thought, however, a shout from the side
distracted him. "I must save Shampoo!" A barrage of chains, knives,
and training potties shot through the air. Several of them wrapped
around the thief, but more importantly, iron claws pulled the bag off
his back. Lingerie and chest-bindings rained from the sky to the ground
below.
Ranma grinned. He might be stuck fighting with two idiots, but
there was no way a pervert was going to run away from his "haul". They
had him, now.
Mousse landed next to the now-fallen thief and grabbed him. "What
have you done to my--" The thief kicked his leg over his head and
solidly hit Mousse's jaw. The robed boy traced a perfect parabolic arc
as he fell to the ground, whimpering, "--Shampoo?"
Twisting his legs, the thief first spun on his back and them up onto
his feet, causing the ropes and chains to unwind, spinning out and off
his body. Ranma and Ryoga ducked the flying items and prepared for a
head-on assault.
"No running away now, freak!"
"You'll pay for what you've done!"
"Oh, my!"
Ranma looked down in confusion at the third voice, that of Kasumi.
What the heck was she doing there? Then he noticed all the other girls.
And Akane. The thief had led them in a circle!
He glanced back at the thief, who was jumping down into the mass of
schoolgirls. If he was anything like the letch, he was going to cop a
feel for a quick power-up!
Ryoga had apparently realized the same thing, and immediately leapt
down, interposing himself in front of Akane. Ranma frowned, but
followed a split second later to protect Kasumi and Nabiki.
Akane, now recovered, had just run over to Mousse to see if he was
okay, when Kasumi had shouted out. Ranma and Ryoga were on the adjacent
roof staring down the thief when it seemed like everyone started jumping
at her. She screwed her eyes shut awaiting a blow when water splashed
on her instead. She opened her eyes to see the a rudely awakened duck
next to her, and the pervert in front.
He was about her height, wearing a loose outfit and slippers of
coarse cloth that covered his entire body. Only his hands were bare. A
kerchief was wrapped around his head and under his nose, and he was
wearing (of all things) a cold mask. His big, dark eyes seemed to take
her in hungrily, and she could imagine a smirk under the mask.
Glancing at Mousse and the bucket in the thief's hands, Akane made a
quick deduction. "He must know our weaknesses..." Being a
fair-tempered person herself, she rarely got into fights, so she hoped
the thief would not know her style.
She quickly went into a back stance. Her left arm and leg were
forward, her right leg below her and right hand held to her chest, she
only presented her side as a target to the thief. Unfortunately her
foot stepped in something round and squishy, throwing off her balance.
"Bwee!" P-Chan let out a startled yelp of pain.
"Oh, no! P-Chan, what are you doing here?!?"
"Pay attention!" Boy-type Ranma streaked from behind Akane, and
started fighting the thief hand-to hand. Ranma had an edge in both
speed and power, but the thief was fighting pretty well, nonetheless.
Mu-Mu Chan had a foot-print on his head and was unconscious again.
"Geez, just get out of here, Akane, you'll only get into trouble!"
Akane's face twisted in indignation. WHAT did he say? While she
cradled poor P-Chan, she yelled at her fiance. "I can take this
pervert!"
"No way, Akane," he panted between strikes. "You know you can't
fight. I can take this guy, easy." Ranma shifted to mid-air combat,
one of his specialties.
"He beat Master Happosai!"
"Anybody can beat that old freak. You just have to know his
weakness!"
"Nyao!" Instead of attempting a strike or block at the top of their
leaps, the thief made a high-pitched meow into Ranma's ear.
"Yaaa!" Startled, he failed to keep his center of gravity under
himself, and face-planted into pavement. Akane ran over to him, making
sure to stay in a fighting stance. Instead of protecting her chest,
however, her back hand clutched P-Chan to her bosom. With her forward
leg she booted Ranma.
"Get up!" Akane circled him, staying opposite the thief, who was
now eyeing her. Ranma had only begun to stir when the thief was on her,
attacking with a flurry of blows. Akane could only block about a third
of them, as her right hand protected P-Chan. Instead of fists, however,
the strikes were finger blows.
Were her pressure points being hit?! That didn't make sense,
though. The areas being hit were mostly fatty tissue... After a moment
she realized the thief was poking her almost exclusively in the chest
and rear. Her battle aura soared with her coiled right hand, performed
a full uppercut on the thief, who was solidly knocked back.
"PERVERT!"
A small form made a squeaking noise as it fell it front of Akane.
"Oh, NO!!! P-Chan!" She tenderly picked up the KO'ed piglet. Glancing
at her right hand, she realized it wasn't holding her pet anymore. She
had hurt him again! Tears filled her eyes. "I'm SO sorry!"
"Stupid Ryoga." Ranma finally got up, rubbing his face.
"Ranma?" Akane exclaimed. "Where did Ryoga go?"
"Watch out!" Ranma tackled into Akane, moving her out of the way as
the thief descended with raking hands. Ranma's backside caught the
attack, shedding his shirt. "Geez, Akane, just get out of here!"
He turned back to face the opponent, who was in a familiar stance.
One knee in the air, arms up, but hands curled down. Where had he seen
that stance?
"Nya!" The thief purred happily.
"No way!" yelled Ranma.
"The Cat-Fist!" added Akane.
A loud clack announced the arrival of Cologne, landing perched atop
her walking stick. "Stay back, Son-in-Law. This one is too powerful
for you."
"N- No way. I can take him, he's just a pervert."
Akane's voice held some fear. "But he knows the Cat-Fist!"
Ranma couldn't argue that, but the shriveled mummy did. "I think
not. Your opponent it just using cat-like forms to startle and distract
Son-in-Law into fighting poorly. Your weaknesses are known."
Akane nodded, having come to the same conclusion. Ranma's fists
were clenched, and had an expression that she knew meant he wouldn't
give up. Or was about to do something really stupid.
"Then we'll just use his own technique against him!" He got up,
stared at the thief, and after a few moments, ran away.
Cologne muttered, "The Saotome Secret Technique..."
Akane just stared.
"Can't you guys do anything other then look at Ranma's butt?!?"
Nabiki's voice caught the two fighters' attention. They looked at her
as she pointed to the thief, who was trying to make a silent getaway.
"Hey, get back here!" yelled Akane. She handed P-Chan off to
Cologne and started attacking the thief. Cologne just blinked, trying
to decide if she was more startled that Akane was trying to fight, or
that she was now holding a cute little black pig.
Dropping the pig on his head, Cologne hopped forward to dissuade
Akane from her actions. "You must not fight this one! Let the thief
go."
"Death to Perverts!!!" was Akane's reply. Actually, she was putting
up a pretty good fight. The again, the thief wasn't exactly fighting
back; he was just looking for an exit, which Akane repeatedly moved (or
leapt) to block.
After Cologne performed some Amazon pressure-point magic on the
fallen students, she briefly considered knocking Akane out to end the
dangerous game. There was no telling when the thief would grow weary or
nervous, and use more desperate attacks against her.
It was then that the thief scooped up the discarded P-Chan and held
him by his checkered kerchief, swinging him like a pendulum.
"Oh, NO!!!" Akane stopped in her tracks. "Leave him alone! He
didn't do anything to you!" She approached the thief as close as she
dared. The thief, for his part, was backing up towards a steaming
kettle on the ground.
"This doesn't look good for Ryoga," muttered Cologne.
"P-Chan!"
The little pig blearily opened his eyes and looked around. Akane
seemed upset, and he was dangling from the neck. Had Azusa grabbed him
again? Worse yet, was someone trying to cook him!? He looked up at his
captor but only saw a slowly turning kettle about to be poured on him.
"Stop picking on P-Chan! You'll scald him!"
Eyes half as big as his body, he flailed his tiny little hooved legs
as fast as he could.
It wasn't helping.
"Tee-hee! Oh dear! My blouse seems to be falling apart!" A girl's
giggling caught everybody's attention.
"..." said the thief.
"Oh, god," said Akane.
"Son-in-Law," sighed Cologne.
P-Chan flailed.
Yes, Girl-type Ranma was skipping down the street wearing a lacy
black bra, with the ties of her shirt undone. Akane failed to suppress
the jealousy she felt at the contrast of the black brassiere against
Ranma's pure, milky-white skin, or how certain parts of her fiance's
anatomy jiggled as she hopped around.
A spot of drool was rapidly making the thief's mask wet.
"And this bra is soOOOoo tight! She started fiddling with the catch
in the back, arching backwards and giving everyone a better view.
Mu-Mu Chan woke up an quickly scampered away from the scary-looking
Akane. The thief, hypnotized, started walking towards Ranma and dropped
the bucket.
Two forms launched into action.
Ranma leapt out of his bra...
...and P-Chan clawed viciously at the thief's face. The mask was
pulled down to the thief's throat, and the kerchief was unknotted. A
cascade of silky lavender hair fell out of the kerchief and down the
thief's back.
Ranma landed, grabbing him firmly from behind.
"Aiya!!!"
Her firmly.
Ranma blinked in confusion. "Shampoo?"
"Ranma! What are you two GIRLS doing?!?" She glared at where
girl-type Ranma's hands were holding Shampoo's chest. Ranma quickly
pulled her hands away and put them behind her back.
"I- It's not what it looks like Akane..."
"YOU!" Akane approached Shampoo. "I always knew you were a
pervert! You call ME a 'Pervert Girl', but look what you've been up
to!" She pointed at the lingerie scattered around and the awakening
girls on the ground. Well, they weren't her fault but Akane didn't
care.
"Uh, I'm sure Shampoo was just being bait. You know, pretend to be
another panty thief like Happosai and lure the thief out into another
fight. Right, Shampoo?"
Shampoo stared at the ground.
"Shampoo?" Nervousness crept into his voice.
"I KNEW it! You're always hugging and grabbing Ranma even when he's
a girl! YOU'RE the REAL 'Pervert Girl'!"
As Akane shouted and waved her arms, Shampoo's demeanor became more
and more despondent. Her shoulders drooped, her head hung low, and she
started to cry. "Is true! Shampoo no want to be pervert, but can't
stop!"
She hugged Ranma about the waist and started bawling. "Airen, you
forgive Shampoo, yes?" Then she started rubbing her cheek into Ranma's
chest, still crying.
"Aaaaahhh!" Ranma freaked at the weird sensations and tried to push
Shampoo away, but she was too persistent. Realizing how useless Ranma
was, Akane decided to help, and tried to pry the Amazon off her fiance.
Cologne finally spoke up. "I had hoped this day would never come.
I worked so hard to prevent it, but it seems it is impossible to escape
fate."
Soun walked forward. "What's going on here?" He rubbed at the
bruises and scratches all over his body. Miss Hinako stood by his side
and tended him. "What's wrong with Shampoo?" He pointed at the scene
between Akane, Shampoo, and Ranma. Akane had gotten Shampoo off of
Ranma, but now she was rubbing her head in Akane's lap. Akane yelled at
Ranma to do something, but she was too busy trying to stop a bloody
nose.
Mu-Mu Chan was paralyzed with fear and dismay. P-Chan put a
reassuring hoof on his back. He had been there many times, himself.
"The story begins over eighty years ago..." The girls (and two
boys) formed a circle around the centenarian. Only Hiroshi and Daisuke
paid attention to Akane, Ranma, and Shampoo.
P-Chan wanted to help Akane, he really did, but he was scared about
being punched, stepped on, or being used as another punching glove. And
that kettle of hot water was still too close for his liking.
So he settled for being picked up by Sayuri, who scratched behind
the ears. "Look, it's Akane's pet piggie. He's so CUTE!" He stretched
and bwee'd contentedly.
Looking at Sayuri and the poor dumb bird, Yuka decided she wanted a
pet, too. She picked the duck up and sat next to Sayuri, listening to
Cologne's story. Mu-Mu Chan decided that he liked his "nest" and
blissfully rubbed his head against Yuka's chest as she stroked his neck.
"As you know, when he was young, Happosai came to our village. He
stole our ancient treasures and ran off. A young, proud Amazon, I took
it upon myself to stop him, but I was unsuccessful."
Cologne sighed. "Rather, he beat me. In single combat. According
to Amazon law, I had to give him the Kiss of Marriage, and we were
married the very next day..."
Ranma boggled. "No way! The old goat is your great-grandfather,
Shampoo?!?"
"Is too, too tragic!"
Akane strained at the Amazon, "Get OFF!"
Cologne continued her story. "As is the way of things, we had a
child but nine months later." The group shuddered. Better to leave
thoughts of the wrinkled mummy unspoken! "Happosai left during his
girl's childhood, and the village was glad that his influence was gone.
My daughter was a powerful martial artist, who soon grew up, married,
and bore Shampoo's mother. She died in childbirth.
"As for Shampoo's departed mother... Well, it wasn't until she had
grown up and had a child of her own that her symptoms become apparent.
She started to have an unnatural fascination with undergarments, and an
overpowering desire to... feel... other women." Cologne's face wrinkled
it distaste, scaring not a few of the observers.
"She tried to fight it for years, but over time had nonetheless
accumulated a collection of panties and bras. We had not seen Happosai
in years, so we didn't suspect anything of the missing clothes. At the
third year after the manifestation of my grand-daughter's symptoms, her
collection was no longer enough. During a training fight she gave into
her urges and grabbed another Amazon's chest.
Holding Shampoo off with a foot while Akane kneeled on her back,
Ranma wanted to know, "Why didn't she just grab... herself?"
"Alas, she could not satisfy the urges with her own body. Or with
her own undergarments. She needed some intangible element that she
could not provide for herself. Perhaps it was the scent of a woman.
Her nose naturally filtered out her own pheromones."
"Damn." Shampoo had crawled out from under Akane. Ranma and Akane
struggled to contain the Amazon once again.
"So my grand-daughter, Shampoo's mother, had grabbed another warrior
during a fight it a... compromising position. No one thought much of
it, other then to think she was being a little cruel to use such a
distracting tactic. Still, all it fair in the art of war. But she
knew. She knew she could not hold it off anymore. Having tasted the
forbidden fruit, she had to have more.
"Although the perversions had been working on my grand-daughter for
years, she was still proud. Still an Amazon warrior. She came to me
and admitted everything. She would end the disgrace the only way she
knew how: honorable suicide. I did not stop her; what could I say? She
had tried her best to stop what she was. I could do no more.
"So I took in Shampoo as my own child. I was wary from the start
that she might develop the same traits as her mother, so I trained her
hard, to be the best warrior in the village. If no one could defeat
her, she would never marry. I hoped to prevent her from having thoughts
about sex. Thoughts which might quickly turn to thoughts of
perversion."
Cologne glanced at Ranma. "You can imagine my horror, of course,
when Son-in-law defeated Shampoo. Would the Kiss of Death be enough to
trigger the monster lying dormant in Shampoo's genes? I wouldn't know
for sure until she came back from Japan. And when she said she had
fallen in love with a girl... Well, it was too much for my old bones.
"I took her to Jusenkyo. I had to train her again. Harder then
ever before to purge the perversion from her. It could be done. I had
to believe it. But I pushed her too hard. I should never have taken
her to Jusenkyo. As you know, she fell in the Spring of Drowned cat.
"Strangely enough, she became ecstatic. The girl Ranma with whom
she had fallen in love must have also fallen in the springs. She
realized that her love wasn't a girl who turned into a boy, but a boy
that turned into a girl. She didn't have to feel disgraced about loving
the girl.
"Too bad she hadn't told me about the gender switching in the first
place; I could have told her the truth from the start. I wouldn't have
been so upset and taken her to the cursed training grounds. As it was,
she was cursed for nothing...."
Kasumi was moved, "What a tragic story!"
"Stop touching me!"
"Yes. Well, that's where I come into the story. I figured that as
long as Shampoo associated any... urges... towards Ranma's girl-type
body with her attraction to Ranma the person, she might be okay. Just
to be sure, however, I came to Nerima to keep an eye on her.
"It had been going so well, too. But Son-in-law has not been
attentive to his wife as he should be--"
"Hey!" shouted Akane. "Excuse me?" added Ukyo.
"--And she has not been able to have... close contact with his
girl-type body. As such, she had no outlet for the urges she had been
feeling the past few months. She still has enough resistance not to
grab a real girl," Cologne made a point of not looking at the
menage-a-trois occurring nearby, "But she couldn't stop herself from..."
Cologne started to break down, sniffling, "...from collecting women's
underwear! Oh, the horror! The horror!"
"An amazing story," noted Soun. "But it explains so much."
"Indeed, Tendo." nodded Genma. Ukyo blinked. Where had he come
from?
Akane had finally managed to pour some water on Shampoo and dump her
in a wicker basket. Ranma eyed the shifting basket warily as sounds of
a cat yowling and sharpening her claws could be heard from within.
"Well, that's one less 'fiancee' Ranma has to deal with," Akane smiled.
"Yeah!" chimed in Ukyo. "My Ranchan's not going to marry a
pervert!"
"Yes," confirmed Akane, staring meaningfully at the crossdresser.
Ranma was too busy watching the basket to comment.
Cologne chuckled. "Ah, but girls, Son-in-law is the only one for
Shampoo."
"And just why is THAT?" asked Ukyo.
"Why, Ranma is the only one who can satisfy Shampoo's perverted
nature without really being perverted. No one can blame Shampoo for
grabbing her husband's breasts, or making a collection of his panties
and bras, right? This way, we don't have to worry about her terrorizing
innocent girls."
"..."
"..."
"What?!?" Ranma didn't like the sound of that. "No WAY am I going
to stay a girl! I'm gonna find a cure, you old ghoul. And I'm SURE as
hell not gonna wear a bra or panties for no one!"
"I think not, Son-in-Law." Cologne swung her stick, and poked it
rapid-fire into various points along Ranma's chest.
"Wha...?" Dread filled Ranma. "What did you do to me THIS time?!?"
"That was the Cracked Leather Shiatsu Technique. From now on, your
chest is supersensitive to being pulled or stretched. If you turn into
a girl, the weight of your own breasts will bring you unbearable pain!"
"N- No way..." But she could tell. Already the top of her chest
was getting mighty uncomfortable.
"Ranma..."
"Ranma-honey..."
"Why couldn't this have happened to Akane? She's so flat-che--
URK!"
Akane twisted her elbow into Ranma's head. "Honestly, you are such
a JERK!"
Ukyo pulled her fiance away from the violent tomboy. "Don't worry,
Ranma, you can always wear a chest-wrap!" She smiled brightly and
tugged at her top to show her own wrapping. "We'll make a perfect
couple!" It was then that she noticed she wasn't wearing her wrapping.
She peered down her top but didn't see anything but the usual suspects.
Ranma tried to nonchalantly cross her arms under her chest. It was
really starting to hurt now. "Man, this sucks."
"No worries, Ranma!" Shampoo spoke from behind him.
"Huh?"
"You need support, Shampoo give you all support you need!" She
kneeled behind him and cupped Ranma's breasts with her hands.
Ranma sat up and spun around. "THAT kind of support I don't nee--
YIKES!" Next to the overturned kettle kneeled Shampoo, naked as a
newborn kitten. Instinctively Ranma covered her eyes so they wouldn't
fall out of their sockets.
Ukyo frowned. She had just given Ranma a free show of her top and
she hadn't reacted at all! That... stupid... "JACKASS!"
"You no hit Airen!"
"You're you to talk, you naked pervert bimbo!"
"Yeah, sugar, you've got no say in this anymore."
"At least Shampoo like boys!" she yelled at Akane.
"What!?!"
"And dress like real girl!"
"When you DO dress, little barbarian!"
"Shampoo beat you all!"
"You're on!"
"Whenever you're ready!"
A handsome man interrupted the burgeoning fight. "Ladies, you must
not fight! Please, let us make love, not war!"
"Kuno!"
"Ah! My pig-tailed goddess!"
"Aaah! Get OFF!!"
A shriveled man jumped into the party. "Ah, so see the fruit of my
loins has grown up in her great-grandfather's image!"
"Aiya!"
"Yuck!"
"Gross!"
"Bleh."
"What manner of beast is this?!?"
"I must have instinctually known you were my descendent during our
fight last night. That is why I suddenly lost my fighting spirit.
Plus, I could never hurt a cutie like you! Come, let us practice the
family art together!"
"Ranma belong Shampoo!"
"Akane!" A lone red-head struggled against multiple groping,
pulling attackers.
"I bet you LIKE them doing that to you, you pervert!"
"Akane?"
The others had long since walked away, but Hiroshi and Daisuke stood
by the side crying.
"This is the happiest day of my life!"
"I TOLD you she didn't dye her hair."
"help?" whimpered a battered red-head.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Completed 1998-10-04 Last modified 1999-03-26
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I don't understand it, Khu-Lon. All the younger amazons have
become exceedingly violent of late. They perceive insult at the
slightest thing, and give each other Kisses of Death. But when they
fight, they don't use weapons, and they never strike, or use joint locks
or throws. All they do is grab each other. I don't understand it,
Ku-Lon. What could it be?"
Cologne sighed into the phone, and thanked again whatever god had
allowed her to be in Japan instead of staying in China. She would much
rather be dealing with her great-granddaughter's problems then those of
the entire tribe.
If you could call what she was doing dealing with the problem.
Sometimes she thought she should have just drugged Son-in-Law and
dragged him back China. Shampoo could have her way with him before
anybody knew what was going on.
But that wouldn't be any fun.
She was growing old; she deserved to be pampered and entertained.
And Japan was a hell of a lot more exciting then the village. Torturing
"Son-in-Law" was providing her entertainment in spades. She didn't feel
bad about it. After all, she was teaching him powerful techniques, so
she had a right to take some "payment" in return...
Frowning, she listened to the Amazon from home, and muttered some
meaningless, reassuring words. They wanted her back in the village and
to join the ruling council as an elder, but she wanted nothing to do
with them. She had had enough with their stupid laws.
The same stupid laws that made her marry a STRONG man, to get bring
STRONG genes into the village. The laws that made her a mother of six.
A grandmother of 45. A great-grandmother of 311. And all of them
beautiful young women with STRONG genes...
Doug
----
Douglas MacDougall "You were nicer when you were evil.
http://www.dougmacd.net Cuter, too. Definitely more sexy!"