Hey.I came up with this rather than pay attention during the second day of
my calculus class over the summer (I'm making up some credit for next
semester. This is a long teaser, because I'm more interested in opinions on
it right now, and I'm still working on the rest of the plot.
P-Chan Day
An oddly inspired fanfic by:
J.S. Levine
Who is also known as Patch Monkey.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Stupid trip, with stupid pop, and stupid Akane, dragging me out
to a stupid mountain town in stupid February," grumbled Ranma, well out of
the distance of anyone who could attack him for such words. "And she
brought stupid Ryoga, and of course, everyone else followed us here. Swell.
Wonderful. Fantastic."
In other, simpler to understand words, Genma and Soun, being the
two brightest bulbs in Nerima, decreed that Akane and Ranma were to travel
to the Winter Carnival in the little town of Puxatauno. Then, further
stressing their higher than average mental capacity, the chose to accompany
Ranma and Akane, which meant that Kasumi and Nabiki also came along. Of
course. It did wonders for Ranma's further sanity when he found out that,
surprise, there was an emergency satellite Nekohanten Relief Office (phone
number: Dial 1 - 800 - SHAMPOO) that opened up for the Winter Festival
(although Ranma had different feelings on that) and that Ukyo chose to come
up with a temporary Ucchan's for the festival.
<Well, at least the Kuno and Kodach.>
"Do my eyes deceive me!? OH HOHOHOHO Ranma, it is I, your true love!"
"Scoundrel! How dare you drag the fair Akane and the wondrous
pig-tailed-"
"-Girl to such a place. Yada, yada, yada. Kuno, go shove it," finished
Ranma.
With that, and a well-placed boot to Kuno's head, Ranma headed back to
the
hotel.
**************************************
Back at the hotel, Akane was ecstatic. "Ranma! Guess what! The
Puxatauno
city council said that since their old pig died, they'd like to use P-Chan
for Pot-Bellied Pig Day!"
"That's wonderful, Akane," Ranma emoted.
"You don't even care, do you? Well, fine! I'm going back to my room!"
"Fine."
"Fine!"
"FINE!"
"Hmph!" added Akane for emphasis, as she stormed off.
"Real smooth, Saotome," injected Nabiki. "Zero to pissed in under six
seconds."
"Yeah, well, Nabiki, I don't even know why we came up to see if a
pot-bellied pig can see its shadow or not. I don't see how it tells how
much longer winter will be," he began, quietly adding, "You know what's
even worse? I actually meant that I was happy for her."
Not quietly enough.
"My little girl blew her chance to get married!"
"Boy, go on up an tell her that you meant it right GROWF GROWF!"
"Oh my, Mr. Saotome, how did you turn into a panda now?"
*********************************************
Ranma headed towards the stairs with every intent of going up
them to, if not apologize, to at least explain that he was happy even if it
didn't sound like it and that she was not nearly as cute when she was mad as
when she wasn't mad.
But no, there were other plans in the works.
"Auntie Saotome! Hello!" he heard Kasumi say.
"Crud," he said.
*Zoooooooom* said Ranma's feet.
"What was that?" asked Nodoka.
"I think it was Ranko running to the bathroom. She doesn't take
car rides well, Auntie."
Ranma imagined he could hear the 'You owe me' Nabiki thought
after that.
**************************************
<Great. Better, now mom's here. What else could go wrong? I
wish Ucchan was up here on the roof. She'd come over and say 'Hey, Ranchan!
'>
"Hey, Ranchan!"
< 'I made you your favorite!'>
"I made you your favorite!"
<Man, I can just smell it. Pork okonomiyaki! I could really
use some right now.>
Ukyo, on the other hand, decided to take a more direct approach
to getting his attention.
*Clang*, spoke Mr. Spatula to Ranma's head.
<Oh. Maybe she is here.>
"H-H-Hi, Ucchan."
"Hiya, Ranchan! Eat. Now."
"I can handle that," he began as he bit into it. "Perfect as
always, Ucchan!"
"Thanks, Ranchan!"
*****************************************
"And just where have you been?" queried Akane as Ranma entered
the room they were now sharing. "And why are you a guy? Your mom's here!"
"That means I'm now sleeping in here, right?"
"Yes. Now, where have you been?"
"Out."
"Why.why.why you!"
Akane decked him.
"Snort," snorted P-Chan, as close as he could come to a cheer.
"Ouch," ouched Ranma.
"Grrr. I'm going to bed, you jerk!" stormed Akane.
**************************************
The sun began to rise over the currently quiet city of Nerima.
It was that way because the main instigators of trouble were about one
hundred miles away.
"Quiet morning, isn't it, Hiroshi?"
"Yes, quite, Daisuke."
"Very enjoyable."
"Very quiet."
"I wonder how badly Puxatauno is suffering right now?"
"Me too, old pal. Me too."
***************************************
The sun also rose above Puxatauno as Ranma and Akane awoke.
"It's time for the live at Puxatauno special Pot-Bellied Pig day
edition! Rise and shine, rockers! Only a few more hours and we'll know if
we have a long winter or a short winter still ahead of us! I know those ski
mountains are hoping he sees his shadow and heads on back in! I know I want
winter over, how about you?" blared the radio.
"Oh no! I have to give P-Chan a bath before he goes out for his
appearance! My little piggy should be all clean for such an important day!"
P-Chan paled. <A bath! That means Akane will find out! I'm
sorry Akane! I'm sorry Akari! Ranma, this is all your fault!>
"I'll do it. You get dressed, I'll handle P-Chan. He'll feel
more comfortable with a guy anyway. He is a male pig, you know," said
Ranma.
"Hmm.funny, Ranma, but you don't quite look like a guy right
now."
"Har har."
"Ranma, seriously, that's so nice of you! Thanks! I'm gonna
head to the woman's baths. See you later," spoke Akane.
"Saved you again, porky," whispered Ranma to the pig.
---------------------------------------------------------
And that's where I'm up to now. It's rough, but I like it. That makes six
fanfics I'm working on at once, plus the _Taming of the Horse_ radioplay.
This
is getting more and more fun by the day!
Patch Monkey
----------------------------------
Jerry / Patch Monkey
Lord of Darkness, Brenin of Light
Reverend of the ULC
maddhatter@earthling.net jlevine@wam.umd.edu
http://maddhatter.cjb.net
"You can find true love in the Konan Empire,
but no fast food." - Miaka's Lesson
Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm a man of wealth and
taste. I've been around for many years, and I've
stolen many a man's soul and faith. Hope you can
guess my name.