Sailor Ranmoon
Part 3
Mars Attacks!
Happosai stood in the center of a room with a crystal ball in the
center. He stared at Ryoga and frowned. "You have failed, but you did get
a good batch of panties. I guess I could give you another chance."
"Thanks a bunch," growled Ryoga halfheartedly.
"Huh, your soldiers are lame," said a new voice. The lost boy turned his
head and glared at the man who stood in front of him. He was Chinese,
with short cut hair and an earring. He was also dressed in the same gray
uniform as he was.
"Pansuto Nephrite!" chimed Happosai. "What are you doing here?"
"Pansuto?! You old freak! You promised you'd change my name if I did
this for you! Don't go back on your word!" snapped the man angrily.
"Calm down Pansuto Nephrite. He did change your name," said a new voice
from the shadows. A man wearing a tiger skin draped over his body
appeared and smiled at the pair.
"He knows damn well that isn't what I meant!" retorted the angry boy.
Happosai's eyes glowed red suddenly. "You'll get your name changed when
I have what I want! Bring me the Silver Imperium Crystal!"
The three dark generals became silent at that.
Ryoga frowned and looked up at the old man. "What the heck is this
stupid crystal anyway?"
Happosai looked towards the sky as rays of light suddenly surrounded
him. Tears of joy were forming in his eyes. "Why, it's the most beautiful
frilly pair of undergarments in existence. Worn by only the most
beautiful women in the world. To see them would bring the most wonderful
feeling of..."
Pansuto Nephrite stood upright with a look of total rage on his face.
"Underwear? You've got us searching the planet for underwear?!!"
"This is most unamusing," commented the man in the tiger skin cloak.
"Old man..." growled Ryoga as he cracked his knuckles.
Happosai looked confused for a moment and then suddenly remembered
something. "Oh, never mind. I'm thinking of Excali-pair. The Silver
Imperium Crystal is just a source of infinite energy. They're almost the
same thing really."
The three generals face faulted and fell to the ground. After a moment
Ryoga stands up and walks away.
"I'm leaving now."
"Hurry back! And don't forget my undies!" called Happosai.
Kodachi Kuno stood outside her home greeting the day with a smile. A
small band of children waited at the corner just outside the Kuno grounds
for their bus.
"What is this? Retched whelps! Be gone! How dare you defile the house of
Kuno with your presence!?" she glared at them and they scattered away.
"Disgusting imps."
A bus pulled up next to her and opened the doors. She turned and glared
at the driver inside. "Be gone! No little beasts wait for you here!"
Ryoga blinked and stared at her in shock. "Uh, actually...I'm looking
for Sendai Hill. I'm late for my rounds there. Could you give me
directions?"
Kodachi blinked and stared at the roughly handsome young driver. "A pity
he is not in higher standing like my darling Ranma. I might have been
interested if he was," she thought. Then something hit her.
"Fool! Sendai Hill is in Juban! This is Nerima!"
Ryoga looked at her and sighed. "Thank you." With that he closed the
doors of the city bus and drove away.
Ranma sat back in his chair at school and frowned. Nearby a group of
girls was gossiping about some sort of phantom bus.
"They say that if you take the six o'clock bus at Sendai Hill you never
come back!" exclaimed one girl.
"They also say it's never there on time," agreed another one.
"I heard that once, a girl waited three days for that bus."
"That's crazy, the six o'clock bus isn't the only bus that stops there!"
cried another girl.
"Yeah, but she had to be at the next stop by seven. Any of the other
buses would have made her late!" said the girl in defense.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense then."
Ranma rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the front of the room
as the teacher walked in. It should also be noted that that was the only
time his attention was on her for the rest of the day.
"Why do I gotta go to that stupid arcade again? I hate video games,"
grumbled Ranma.
"Good, because we aren't there to play them! It's a strategy meeting!"
said Luna from Ranma's watch. A long thin wire ran from the side of his
watch to his ear.
"I can't believe it! We're really Sailor Scouts, we've got special
powers!" said Akane excitedly.
"I don't need no stupid powers, and I don't need that stupid outfit!"
grumbled Ranma bitterly.
"Stop complaining! Just pay attention!" snapped Luna from the
communications watch. The two girls were sitting in a back corner of the
arcade with no one around.
Akane spoke up after a moment of thought. "Luna, who is the enemy? What
exactly are we supposed to do?""
The cat sighed, "We need to protect the princess, and the Silver
Imperium Crystal."
"I don't think there is no princess," muttered Ranma bitterly.
"Shut up you jerk!" snapped Akane as she threw a napkin holder into his
face.
"What's a Silver Imperium Crystal Luna?"
"Uh, did I just hear something crash?" said the cat nervously.
"No, nothing at all," said Akane.
Ranma was laying on the floor twitching with the napkin dispenser stuck
in his face.
A few minutes later both teens emerged from the Arcade. Ranma's danger
senses kicked in immediately.
"Ranma darling! There you are! Ho ho ho ho ho ho!" The pigtailed boy
froze up in terror for a moment before running away from the terrible
voice.
"Ranma! How dare you run off with Kodachi that way!" screamed Akane as
the leotard clad girl bounced by twirling her ribbon in the air behind
her.
Meanwhile...
"Your plan is stupid pig," commented Pansuto as he stood on a stairwell
and glared at Ryoga.
"You shut up! It's working isn't it?" snapped the lost boy.
"You've only got three people to drain in three months? That's not what
I call results!" snapped Nephrite.
"I told you! They keep getting off the bus on the way here. It's like
every single one of their stops is on the way here!" retorted the lost
boy.
"Maybe, if you didn't stop and let them off the bus when they pull the
chain this wouldn't happen dolt. You're supposed to be evil remember?"
snapped Nephrite with a smirk.
"Shut up," grumbled Ryoga with a blush. "Maybe I just didn't think about
that alright?"
Female Ranma sat on the bus drenched from the rain outside. "Man, I'm
glad I had bus fare." She shook her hair out and sighed. It was a short
ride to the Tendo dojo and she just didn't feel like walking back. The
girls had chased her halfway to Tombuki before she managed to lose
Kodachi.
"Ranma, who was that girl? Is she with the enemy?" said Luna from the
wristwatch.
"Probably," grumbled Ranma. It was easy for her to see Kodachi as a
youma. "Look, I doubt it Luna."
"What? Did you say something?" said a familiar voice.
Ranma turned and noticed Mousse sitting next to her with an umbrella on
his lap. "Who are you talking too duck boy?"
The blind martial artist currently had his glasses off and was talking
to the pole that sat in the center of the bus.
"Saotome? What the heck are you doing here?" he growled.
"Got caught in the rain, how 'bout you?" said the pigtailed girl with a
sigh.
"The same," he admitted.
"Hey, he don't look quite so stupid without his glasses. The jerk,"
thought Ranma with a look of surprise crossing his features as he noticed
the boy remove his thick lenses and clean them on his shirt.
Mousse paused and a look of shock crossed his features. "Defender of
love and justice..." he mumbled.
Ranma noticed the old woman across from them grow uncomfortable with
Mousse's staring at her.
Ranma snorted. "Don't mind him ma'am, he's blind as a bat with his
glasses on, much less off."
She looked slightly relieved and blinked when Mousse grabbed the center
pole and tried to choke it. "How dare you say that Saotome!"
Ranma sighed and walked off the bus as it reached her stop leaving him
alone with the old woman and a scattered few passengers.
He paused when a chill ran down his spine. He turned to see Kodachi get
on the bus behind him. "What the?"
"How disgusting, reduced to traveling on a public vehicle!" snorted
Kodachi as she stuffed a large Yen bill into the slot and brushed by the
driver in disgust. "Retched weather."
Ryoga Hibiki smiled as he closed the doors on the bus and drove away.
Ranma shrugged his shoulders and turned away. "Since when did pig boy
get a job? As a bus driver? That's a little weird." He started to walk
away when the watch screeched to life.
"Ranma, the bus driver! He's one of the enemy!"
"Huh? Ryoga? You're kidding me."
"No he's not Ranma! He must have been brainwashed!" exclaimed Akane's
voice from the tiny speaker. "Poor Ryoga! We have to save him!"
"Hurry up peasant driver! I must return home post haste!" snapped
Kodachi from her seat directly behind Ryoga.
The lost boy was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that the circle
now resembled a distorted crescent. "That does it, screw going back to
the Dark Kingdom! I'm gonna drain her now!"
He was so angry that he never noticed himself actually make a correct
turn and vanish into a porthole.
Ranma rushed up to catch the bus at just the right time. He paused for a
moment as he clung to the back and blinked. "This is my chance to be rid
of Kodachi for good!" He let his grip falter for a moment.
"Don't worry Sailor Ranmoon! I'll help you!" cried a familiar voice.
Ranma found himself tied to the back of the bus by a large number of
chains and ropes. She looked back and saw Mousse standing in front of the
vanishing porthole with a look of surprise on his face. He was holding a
plant in his hands that was wrapped in a few ropes and was shaking it
vigorously.
"Speak to me! I knew it I was too late!"
"Dope," muttered Ranma. Deep down he knew he wouldn't have left Kodachi
behind anyway.
Inside the bus Ryoga was crackling with energy as Kodachi continued to
fuss. "Why are we not there yet peasant? Is this mode of transportation
faster than walking! Where it not for this incessant weather I would not
be in this ridiculous position!"
He slowly turned and looked at her.
Akane looked at the cat and gasped. "She's on the phantom bus!"
"Thank goodness I gave her the remote! Quickly, pull out the computer so
we can track her!"
Akane blinked and looked at the animal.
Ranma found herself in the middle of a strange looking castle. She
looked around and was surprised to find Ryoga stepping off the bus with
Kodachi draped over his shoulder. The lost boy snorted in disgust as the
girl groaned slightly, she had a large lump on the top of her head.
"Hey! P-chan! What are you doin here?" cried Ranma cheerfully.
Ryoga whirled around in shock and his jaw dropped like a rock. "Ranma!
What are you doing here?"
"I dunno, I was on the bus a minute ago..." lied the pigtailed girl.
"You should have told me you wanted to go out with Kodachi. I would have
put in a good word for you!" Ranma smiled.
Ryoga merely smirked. "Because of you...I HAVE SEEN HELL!" He dropped
Kodachi on the ground and charged.
Ranma gasped at the speed that the lost boy moved. "No way he's this
fast!" She took a hard punch to the gut and flew across the room. After
slamming into the wall he struggled to her feet. Ryoga appeared in front
of her and smiled.
"Surprised? By joining the Dark Kingdom I've gotten new powers! You'll
never beat me now Ranma. No amount of training can match my power now!"
The pigtailed martial artist realized that she was outmatched easily.
She hadn't even seen Ryoga move other than a quick blur of motion.
"Damn." She staggered on her feet as pain exploded in her belly. "Gotten
stronger too. No choice then..."
Ryoga stepped back with a surprised look on his face as Ranma looked up
at him with an angry scowl. "What are you doing?"
"Moon Prism Power Makeup!"
The eternal lost boy found himself thrown back by the force of the blast
the pigtailed girl emitted when she transformed. He managed to stay on
his feet and stared in shock at what stood before him.
"Ranma...you're...Sailor Ranmoon?"
"Yeah, and I'm gonna kick your butt porky," replied the girl.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Ryoga started rolling on the floor.
He stood up when a hard kick to his gut caught his attention. "What did
you do that for?"
Kodachi Kuno stood in front of him with an angry glare in her eyes.
"Peasant! How dare you do such a thing to a noble such as myself!"
Ryoga blinked and looked at her. A strange symbol appeared on her
forehead. It looked like the symbol for 'male'.
Kodachi began to glow as the pen in her right front pocket started to
glow. Her clothes vanished in a prerecorded transformation shot and she
pointed at the lost boy. "I shall punish you!" A whip of flames appeared
in her hands and she slashed at him sending him scurrying off into the
shadows of the strange palace. She looked at herself and found she was
dressed in a sailor fuku style uniform with a pair of high heel shoes on.
"Humph, red is not my color."
Ranma gaped in shock. "Oh no! It can't be! Anyone but her! Where the
heck did you get that pen from?"
Kodachi noticed the other girl in the room and snorted. "I won it
playing this quaint video game the other day. Sailor something or other.
It was quite boring so I left."
"You can 't be a Sailor Scout!" cried Ranma in terror.
"It appears I am, oh well." Kodachi didn't seem all that interested in
her newfound power. "Wait a moment, I know you! You're that pigtailed
harlot! You've come to take away my Ranma haven't you!" A fire whip
appeared in her hands.
"Uh oh," said the pigtailed girl.
"Hurry up! We'll lose them!" cried Luna.
"I'm working on it!" cried Akane as she worked desperately on the
keyboard. She looked at Luna. "Do I want to see if we have any E-mail?"
"You're not supposed to be looking at E-mail!" cried the cat. She looked
over the girls shoulder and blinked. "This computer doesn't even have
'Windows95'! How the hell did that get there?"
In the bushes Bill Gates giggled madly to himself as he scurried away.
In front of Akane a porthole opened dumping Ranma, three girls, and one
insanely laughing Kodachi Kuno. Ranma jumped away from the flame whip and
screamed. "Get away you psycho!"
"What did you do?" said Luna as she looked at Akane.
The girl looked at her and shrugged. "Nothing."
Ryoga Hibiki's charred and smoking head poked out of the hole. "And stay
out!" It closed up behind him.
Nephrite smiled as Ryoga walked into the room. "Well, looks like you
failed huh?"
The lost boy shrugged his shoulders and threw his uniform down at
Happosai's feet. "You can give me back my curse if you want. I quit." He
spun around on his heels and walked out of the room.
Happosai blinked and shrugged his shoulders. He opened the bottle
containing the curse he had drained from Ryoga and turned back to the
crystal. "Oh well. Pantsuto, it's your turn."
"I told you to call me Nephrite old freak!" retorted the man angrily.
TBC...
Next time: Ranma goes to a fancy party. With the two scouts tagging
along.
C&C to Carrotglace@juno.com