Baka Yaro by Fallout Studios
written by Mark and Rob
(Unedited Vesrion 1.3)


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Welcome to the third installment of Baka Yaro! Well, have I got a surprise for you. I'm gonna try to write this in prose format. That's right, no script for chapter 5. Tell me if you like it better than the script form that we've been using. Let us know what you think of some of the characters too. About now, I should be putting up illustrations of the cast so far. You can find them at "www.bakayaro.8k.com" as soon as I get the page up. That is also where I will post new versions of this. It's my site and so it'll go there first. That's about all for my rant. It has indeed taken us two days to prepare all this for you. Mind you, we started coming up with the story in 1998. That was just a general thing of how things would go. This is really in depth, and by the way, Baka Yaro will rival Kotaro Makaritoru in its ridiculous length. Still interested? I hope so.  By the way, the beginning of this chapter is ever so slightly lemon-scented, so to those who take offense, just mosy on down (did I just say "mosy?")to the lower part of the story.

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Standard Disclaimer: Baka Yaro is owned by Fallout Studios(tm) That means that we have it copywritten and we can sue those who misuse it. Actually, you can feel free to use the characters in fanfics or what not. Just let us know so we can read it. It would be great to see what other situations these guys can get into. We have a good idea on how all this will play out, so have fun.

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STORY 01: The Cycle Begins

LAST TIME: (Do you have any idea how much I HATE recaps? --K.M.) Shin met with Lee Hiryu and lost in a matter of seconds. Ryo and Tatchi fought across town dealing out more property damage than an army could. Kirin stuffed his face, while Hiroshi did stuff off camera that I don't care about at all. We find that Lee kidnapped his beaten foe and challenged Kenzan. The fool walked right into Lee's trap and befell the same fate. Now what?

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Chapter 5- Sibling Rivalry

Morning broke over the senior high school of the Murasami District. The sounds of fighting could be heard from a certain dojo, but no one paid it any mind anymore. However, the noise was far quieter than usual. This was due to the absense of one Shin Hideoshi and a Kenzan Sotoyome. Some might say it was peaceful. Others, namely the participants of the battle, were seriously worried.

Ryo fell backwards, his body drenched with sweat. To say he was tired would be an understatement. He had just completed sixty laps around the dojo while dragging a large boulder.

Ryo sighed, it was his punishment for the whole ordeal yesterday. According to Kyosuke, it was NOT okay for him to toss grenades around the Financial District of Tokyo and cause over 100 million yen in damage. He was not alone on that one. The long-haired fool, Tatewaki hadn't helped any. He was the one doing the chasing.

"This is so dumb. I'll I did was blow up a few offices and I get in this much trouble?" Ryo snorted as he rose to his feet. "Fem-boy better be suffering too. That's all I gotta say."

The perverted one looked over the yard. Hiroshi was punching a tree while the old master was sparring with Azusa. Ryo grinned when he saw her. He was in love, and had already started a collection of her panties and bras. She would realize it sooner or later, Ryo thought to himself. Ryo pulled one of the silken treasures he swiped, out of his shirt. He sniffed it, feeling his body re-energize with perverted passion. He was a snake coiled to strike. He then slithered off into the bushes.

Azusa fell to her knees in exaustion. She losened her belt. She had never trained that hard before. She had to to help beat that Lee guy and rescue Shin and his friend. She suddenly stoped, wondering why she wanted so bad to help Shin. Was she in love? No, he's cute, but not my type, she thought to herself.  Besides, he's probably got a girlfriend.

She got to her feet and bowed to her grandfather. He bowed back and walked over to Hiroshi who was now going through katas. Azusa walked towards the furo, she really needed it. She had to be fresh for school after all, and after her workout, she was less than fresh.

The furo was in a secluded area of the yard near some bushes. She stripped down to her bare body and stepped into the furo. She relaxed as the hot water took away all of the stress on her body. She felt an odd sensation on her nipples, but paid it no mind.

It wasn't until she was really getting aroused that she realized that she wasn't alone in the furo. She screamed and lept out trying to cover her chest and her lower area. She screamed again as a snorkel burst to the surface. She pulled a large hammer from no where and waited for the creep to come up.

Suddenly Tatchi appeared, and with a yell, sliced the furo in two with his sword. Ryo remained in a squated position in his boxers with a look of surprise evident on his face.

"You, you, you, disgusting, filthy...ANIMAL." Tatchi was seething with rage. His body shone a deep red aura. His eyes ablaze with obvious and barely contained anger.

"I...uh...was taking a bath yeah, and she... jumped in. It's not what you think." was all Ryo could stammer out. For the first time in his life, he was truly afraid. Tatchi would probably kill him on the spot for this one.

Tatchi calmed a small bit and looked to Azusa who was still in evident shock. The chinese swordsman's eyes narrowed as he turned back to Ryo. He was now 100 times angrier.

Ryo began to sweat nervously. Tatchi raised his sword and begin to glow again. This time, a fire like aura surrounded him as well as his sword.

"CHAOS WHIRLWIND SLASH!!!!!!!!" Tatchi yelled and began slashing with powerful strikes that seemed capable of cutting the air itself. The pieces of the furo were ripped apart in less than a second, as was the ground and part of the house. When the dust cleared, Ryo was gone. Tatchi threw his sword down and cursed in chinese. He tore off his shirt and offered it to the naked girl.

He then struck a dramatic pose with his fist clenched.

"When I find you Muhoshin. You will die by my sword, and your blood will stain the Earth and my hands. By my honor, I swear it. Dammit!" Tatchi looked down to see that he had his foot in a huge pile of dog shit. He then retrieved his sword and dove over the wall.

Azusa regained her senses and put on the shirt which was long enough to cover her. She peered over the wall to see Tatchi head first in a dumpster. She sighed.

"He's so airheaded. Nice, but airheaded."

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(Fuck prose, we're going back to script format.  Prose takes forever to write and isn't nearly as cool.  So if you have a problem, e-mail it to The_staff@Idontgiveashit.com  --The staff)

Lee Hiryu is still perched atop the clocktower. He had been there all night and his men were starting to get worried about their leader's sanity. The wind stirs his hair. His stern features allow yet another small smile. All was going according to plan. Both of his rivals had been beaten and captured. He was still unsure as what to do with them now. He was also unaware that another person was on the same tower as he was.

The person in question is atop the tower itself, watching Lee's every move. His face is obscured by the large monk's hat he is wearing. His loose robes flutter in the breeze. The mysterious monk holds a staff in one hand, the other hand is at his side.

Lee: What? There's only one man who can strike a more dramatic pose than me, and that's-- ATTACK!

All of the men behind him leap to the attack.  The first goon is tripped off of the building as the monk sidesteps and holds the staff out.  The monk effortlessly blocks punches from two more with the staff, plants one end in the second goon's midsection while already twisting around and knocking the third sensless.  The fourth takes a shot to the stomach, followed shortly by a shot to the back.  The last goon brandishes a switchblade and spins it around in an amazing display of swordsmanship. The monk seems unimpressed.  With a cry, the goon launches himself at the mysterious warrior.  The monk seems calm as he switches the staff to his left hand.  His right hand darts out when the goon is about five feet from him.  The goon flies back and skids towards Lee, who kicks him aside.

Lee: Pathetic weaklings.  Have I taught them nothing?

The monk is still standing with his hand out, staff in left hand, shadows still over his eyes.  He relaxes and stands normally. He removes his hat to reveal a man, older than Lee, but strangely similar.  He throws the hat at Lee, who knocks it aside.  It flies away and beheads a stone gargoyle.

Monk: I've come to stop you... brother.
Lee: You haven't changed... you still have yet to learn the fine art of cool lines. Even mine aren't that corny.

Voice: That's debatable...
Lee: Wha--?

A group of goons burst out of the roof access door.

Goon: Sir! The prisoners have--

He is cut off as Shin kicks him in the head from behind.

Shin: --escaped? Yeah, yeah, sound the alarm and all that shit.

Shin and Kenzan make quick work out of the goons and turn to face Lee.

Lee: A minor setback.  These two are of no consuquence considering how easily I took them out last time.  DAAAAAAAAA HAAA HA!!!
Shin: You know, you're thinking out loud again.
Kenzan: You should probably have that checked out.
Lee: You're only jealous.
Monk: You always did have a big mouth.  You never could back it up.

The Monk throws off the cloak to reveal a worn judo suit with a bright red belt strapped around the waist and some kind of house symbol on the chest.  He drops the staff and assumes a judo stance.  Lee turns his back on Shin and Kenzan to face his brother.

Shin: Just so the reader knows, that's ... uh...
Kenzan: Aaron Hiryu, Lee's older brother.
Shin: I knew that! I just wanted to let the reader know!
Kenzan: Suuuure.
Shin: So, are we going to join in on this one?
Kenzan: Nah, let's let those two beat the crap out of each other.

Lee attacks and is immediatly thrown back into a wall.  Lee attacks again and the two begin countering each other's throws.  Aaron jumps over Lee, grabbing his shoulders and throwing him directly into the ground.

Kenzan: My god, Shin! This is turning out to be on hellacious slobber-knocker!
Shin: Shut up, Kenzan, you suck.
Kenzan: Daaaaww...
Shin: Looks like the match may belong to Aaron HIR--yu, oh and a kick-out by Lee.
Kenzan: Kick-out? What the hell are you talking about?

Back to the battle.  Lee rushes forward and grabs Aaron.

Lee: IPPON--
Aaron: I don't think so.

Aaron counters the Ippon Seoi, sending Lee flying again.

Kenzan: What a great match! These two young studs--

The fight is cut short as both combatants turn and give Kenzan a weird look. Shin turns to look at Kenzan as well.

Shin: Did you just call them young studs?
Kenzan: Well, I-- fine I'll just shut up now.

Kenzan turns away, pouting.

Shin: Sorry, he gets a little excited sometimes.  Go ahead.

Lee grabs Aaron while he's not looking and jumps into the air, off of the tower.  They are twisting and falling, each trying to get on top of the other. Of course, the older, larger, and more experienced Aaron has the advantage, so Lee hits the grass with ground-breaking speed.  He is left in a crater for the goons to drag out.  Shin and Kenzan burst through the wall... right next to the door. Kenzan falls to his knees.

Shin: Dammit! We missed the landing! Who won?
Kenzan: I've never... run so hard... in my life...
Shin: Well, Aaron seems to have won, considering that crater is distinctly Lee-shaped.  I think we should beat Aaron while he's still tired.
Kenzan: HE's tired?! I think we should just get out of here.
Shin: I think we can take him together.
Kenzan: Well, okay.
Shin: You submit too easily, you weak-minded lemming.
Aaron: I do not wish to fight you.

(Face fault)

Shin: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Kenzan: Did you hit your head too hard?
Shin: I don't know about this. (Strait-jacket in hand)
Aaron: Since our last encounter, I have turned over a new leaf.
Shin: Yeah, then burned it!
Aaron: No, I'm serious.
Kenzan: Yeah.  Why don't we just fight and get it over with?
Aaron: I abhore violence.

Shin's jaw drops, Kenzan passes out.

Shin: Then why did you beat the hell out of your brother?
Aaron: He deserved it.
Shin: So do I! Here I am, being an asshole! (Starts dancing around) I'm an asshole! I'll piss on you! Fine. I'll just attack.

Halfway to Aaron, Shin is falls over, unconcious.

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They wake up at the Kyosuke dojo the next morning.

Kenzan: Do you have any idea what happened?
Shin: You passed out when Aaron told us he became a pacifist.

Kenzan's eyes roll in his head and he falls back again.  Shin dumps a huge bucket of water over his head.

Kenzan: Thanks.
Shin: So, I guess all that's left is to go to school.
Kenzan: Okay.

Kyosuke pokes his head in.

Kyo: So, you're up.  The others are eating.  Get out there.

Everyone is eating, but Ryo is strangely silent and sullen.  Azusa gives Ryo a look that could strip the meat off an ox.  Ryo fidgets a little, then looks at Tatchi, who is busy spearing food with his katana before Kirin grabs it.

Ryo: Uhhh... Tatchi? You're not still mad about that... thing, are you?
Tatchi: What thing?
Ryo: Never mind.*Thank God for his horrible memory.*

A perverted grin creeps over Ryo's face and he begins to steal all of the food on Kirin's plate while stealing glances at Azusa's ass.

Tatchi: Shit! We gotta get out of here!

They knock the table over getting out.  Kyosuke sighs. From outside the words "Race you guys to school!" Are heard.

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At School...

Shin, Ryo and Kenzan are sitting in Math class.  Ryo and Kenzan are near the center of the room, Shin is near the back.

Teacher: Well, class, it's time for an exam.

Everyone groans.

Ryo: So early in the year?
Teacher: SILENCE!!!!!!!

The class is stunned into silence.

Teacher: Now, my assistant will pass out the tests.

The T.A. is an incredibly large, hairy ape of a man.

Ryo: That guy's a student?
Teacher: SILENCE!!!!!!!

The T.A. drops a huge stack of paper on each desk. (Like, 3 feet tall.)

Teacher: Begin.

The class begins working madly.  Kenzan, of course, is breezing through it.  Ryo is still on the first problem, scratching his head.

(Whispering)

Ryo: Hey, Kenzan, what's the square root of 372?
Kenzan: Shhhh... Do your own work
Ryo: Come on.
Kenzan: No.

(End whispering)

Teacher: Mister Sotoyome, I'm glad you and mister Muhoshin are having such a pleasent conversation back there, but would you please be so kind as to SHUT UP!!!!!!!!
Kenzan: Sorry, sir!
Teacher: SILENCE!!!!!!!!

The work continues.  After a while Ryo begins peeking over at Kenzan's paper.  Kenzan glances at him and turns so that Ryo can't see.

Ryo: (Whispering) Come on Kenzan, let me see.
Kenzan: No! Do your own work!
Ryo: C'mon! Please? Please, Please, PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease?
Kenzan: NO!!
Teacher: QUIET!!!!!!! That's it! You both fail the exam!

View of Ryo only. He leans back in his desk and puts his hands behind his head.

Ryo: Ahhhh... big deal.  This is a stupid class anyway.

Cut to Kenzan, who's lower jaw is resting on the desk. His eyes are wide open, and twitching invoulantarily.

Kenzan: I've ... I've never... failed... anything!! I... always get A's! (Turns to Ryo) It's your fault! I'll kill you!!

Kenzan gets up and takes a few swings at Ryo, who easily dodges.  The teacher motions to the assistant, who moves toward Kenzan.  Kenzan turns and lands a punch on the assistants chest.  He is flung back and into a wall, unconcious.  Shin watches in mild curiosity Kenzan then resumes his attack on Ryo.  He begins knocking over a few unoccupied desks while Ryo is jumping all over the place, dodging.  He stands on a desk near the wall and waits.  Kenzan lunges at him and he jumps over Kenzan.  Ryo executes a flip with a half twist so he lands facing Kenzan.  Kenzan plows face first into the wall, unmoving.  The students applaud, and Ryo takes a bow.

Ryo: Thank you! Thank you!

He is in the middle of the room with his back turned to the still unmoving Kenzan.  He turns just in time to see Kenzan spring up and throw a desk at him, hard.  The desk whacks Ryo full on, sending him flying through the wall to outside, where he falls three stories to the ground.  Kenzan dives out the hole after him. Shin stands.

Shin: (Bowing as he talks) Sir, I request your permission to resolve this conflict and take these blockheads out.

The teacher is just staring at the hole, wide-eyed.  He offers a slight nod and the students watch in awe as Shin calmly kicks another hole in the wall and hops out.  The teacher is still staring wide-eyed. Cut to outside.

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Ryo is standing and dodging Kenzan's attacks.  Shin jumps in and lays them both out with fast attacks.  He is immediatly flattened by Kirin, who falls out of a window above him.  Tatchi stands at the window, sword ready.

Tatchi: How dare you try to cheat off of that beautiful girl?
Kirin: (Getting up) Kirin was not cheating, Kirin was finding out what that beautiful maiden was doing after school.
Tatchi: In the middle of a test? Take this!

Tatchi jumps out of the window and, while in the air, is slammed from the side by a flying Hiroshi with a bump on the head.  There is a girl standing by another hole in the wall, bearing a very large hammer.

Girl: How dare you?!?!

They land on the ground.

Shin: Wha'd you do?
Hiroshi: So I took a little peek down her shirt...
Kenzan: You snuck into the school... for that?
Kirin: How dare you? How can you be so unrefined?
Ryo: I don't know, it doesn't seem so bad...

Ryo's eyes glaze slightly.

Kirin: Kirin will show you!

Kirin lunges at Hiroshi, and a huge brawl erupts.  I'm not talking about pairing off and fighting, I'm talking bar brawling, every man for himself.  Shin and Tatchi seem to be dominating.  Shin lands a kick to Kirin's chest, sending him crashing into a building.  Shin and Kenzan begin working together to systematically eliminate each person, starting with Hiroshi.  Just as Hiroshi is getting the shit kicked out of him, Kirin busts out of the wall, bearing a folding chair.  (That's right, you saw that correctly.  Fifteen pounds of steel folding chair.)  Kirin immediatly sets to work.  He belts Shin in the head with the chair, knocking him out.  He then turns and embeds Kenzan's head into it.  Just as Hiroshi takes a breath, he is next on the list of unconcious.  Ryo and Tatchi don't seem to notice as Kirin sneaks up on them, chair in hand.  Tatchi goes down first, Ryo following immediatly.  Kirin flips his head back and drops the chair, surrounded by unconcious bodies.

Kirin: Heh.

That is when the campus police finally get there.  Several officers run at Kirin, considering he's the only one standing.  Kirin immediatly gets to work.  His fist sends two into walls.  He follows by kicking a third in the gut and finishing him with a DDT.  The final four attack.  Kirin takes the first three out with upward punches to the throat area. The last one attacks, and Kirin grabs him by the throat, flipping his hair back again.  The offecer's arm is flung over Kirin's shoulder, Kirin puts his hand on the officer's back, lifts him up, and slams him to the ground.

Kirin: All too easy.

Kirin turns around to take a chair shot to the face by Shin, who is now up.  Shin shakes his head and exits the area, back to his class... or not... probably not... but we'll leave it at that.

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MEANWHILE...

In the judo dojo of the diamondbacks...

The dojo is a nice place, with much care evidently put into its making.  It appears very expensive and has the Diamondback's logo painstakingly hand-painted on the front wall.  Lee is inside, resting on his bedroll.  He stirs.

Lee: Wha-- what happened?
Punk: You were defeated, Master.
Lee: (calmly) Ahh, yes, that good-for-nothing brother of mine.................... GODDAMN THAT BASTARD!! I'LL SEND HIM TO HELL!!!

Lee gets up and begins beating the living shit out of his men.  Some of them scramble out any way possible, but most are violently thrown through windows.

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END OF STORY 01


Well, that was fun.  Now that the pace has been set, let's see if we can keep it up, maybe even stir it up some.  Lee isn't just going to take his defeat like a bitch, and Shin can't be too happy about his former enemy saving his ass... can we say revenge? Coming soon...

STORY 02: Payback's a Bitch

P.S. You didn't think I was done, did you? There just happened to be an odd number of chapters in this story arc, so the whole "bi-chapter" format will return with the next installment.  We really need your input, because the rest of this shit is even funnier.  Send us ideas! We have it pretty much planned out, with tournaments, one-shots aplenty, and a plethora of new characters to introduce.  When we last checked, this series had about 50 story arcs and about 72 volumes, most of which are longer than this one.  Send your ideas or C&C to muhoshinryo@hotmail.com or Barrett326@yahoo.com.

That's all for now, folks, I swear it!! i'm gonna stop now! Later!......... ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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....................................................................................................................................................................................................... Okay! I'm really going to stop now! Bye!

" A broad? I didn't know they made Cobras in automatic!"
- Bean Bandit

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