MUAAAHAHAHA!! Another victim of my nit-picky C&C!
DEVIL: Hey, man. You're stealing my thunder.
DFR: Oh! Errr, apologies. [exits, stage right, through the doorway
to... ]
The Devil and Miss Mihoshi
Oh, boy. If there was ever a loaded title... and I don't mean it in
the H way, either. :)
/me rosins up his bow... IN THE MUSICAL SENSE!! Gah, what a
buncha...
Writer's note: Yes, I'm aware Mihoshi isn't Mihoshi's
last name, but the
title just wouldn't be the same if I said Miss Kiramitsu
(spelling's off
the top of my head, it could be a little off)
Kuramitsu, but Miss Mihoshi works. It's a reasonable translation of
Mihoshi-san, more or less.
Day 1
Brimstone flames full of suffering and misery and woe and
despair rose high
above, instinctively seeking out the respite they knew
existed somewhere
above, yet could never reach due to the very nature of
the abyss they had
been cast into. The sound of pain reached His ears, pain
in the form of
screams and shouts by the eternally damned that had, by
their own actions,
chosen to be taken into His care to this damnable realm
below. There was
more suffering and agony in his domain than ever before,
and his legions of
followers/victims grew by the minute.
Existence was good for the Devil.
Well, if there were ever a time for disaster to strike... :)
But now it was time to engage in a task that he enjoyed
more than just
about anything, even running the abyss. It was time to
the collect some
non-truly evil souls.
Suggest: ...truly non-evil souls.
This time
This time,
a number of them that
lived close together
had caught his eye. Basically good people, but all of
them with oh so,
horrible
oh, so horrible
flaws that would make them so very easy to
corrupt and brought
bring
into his realm where he could take a personal hand in
their torment.
But which one of the delicious individuals to start with?
There were so
many to choose from: Demons, Queens, Goddesses.
Curious why you capped all of those.
A
veritable feast of the
powerful. Which one would be the first to fall into his
carefully laid
traps?
Then it was decided. That one. She would be the easiest
to trick and gather
into his grasp. She would serve as an appetizer, then he
would move on to
another one that was more substantial afterwards. Perhaps
the indecisive
boy would be next.
Gee. I wonder who that could be? :P
Or the short scientist that thought
she was so clever.
He would show her though; no one was more clever than
him, as he would
delightfully demonstrate to her. Ten thousand years? He
had been at the
collecting game since the very first soul was created.
Even a so-called
Goddess
Again, why the cap?
wouldn't stand a chance.
As he considered the most poetic way with which to entrap the
self-proclaimed 'Smartest Genius in the Galaxy,' all
thoughts of his first
target were pushed to the back of his mind. He made his way to his
dimensional gateway machine. It was true that he could
transport both
himself and others across immeasurable distances using
just his own
personal power, but it was annoying. Investing the time
to create the
machine proved to be much less of a drain on his personal
power.
"Thank God for Black and Decker!! Oops! Did I say 'God'?" The Devil
snickered.
Likewise
Likewise,
he could just order his minions to use the machine to go
places rather than
wasting his time sending them himself. That left him with
many more
opportunities to make the denizens of his realm suffer.
Creating the
machine was definitely one of the better choices he had
made over the
millennia.
Once at the large, black device crafted from pure
obsidian, he pushed a
button that opened a golden glowing portal to the mortal
realm of Earth.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sunlight seemed to force Mihoshi's eyelids open as the
rays poured into her
blue-white orbs and forced her awake.
force:forced Suggest changing one.
With the return of
consciousness, she
was forced
And yet a third... :)
to take a moment to remember where she was;
was:
outside on the back
porch. She lazily sat up, almost catlike, and stretched
out, raising her
hands to the skies and yawning. As her hands came back
down, one of them
brushed across the wooden handle of a broom that had been
lying next to
her.
I kept expecting the brush with the handle to set off some Rube
Goldbergian disaster. ^_^ Tease.
The rest of her memory came back to her. She was
supposed to have been
sweeping the walkway, but it had been so nice and sunny
and she had been so
full from the wonderful lunch that Sasami had made that
Mihoshi just knew
she needed to have a little nap. She had laid down with
the mental promise
that after she had awakened, she would sweep.
HAHA! Maybe an unintentional play on words, but it almost felt like:
"...after she had awakened, she would sleep." ^_^
And now she had awakened. Well rested, she cheerily rose
to her feet,
picked up the broom, than
then
began to sweep
enthusiastically. She hadn't been
sweeping for more than two minutes before something shiny
in the distance,
somewhere near one of the mountains, caught her eye. She
released her hold
on the broom, now distracted by the flash. A combination
of detective
skills and her own innate curiosity got the better of
her,
her. (?)
She dropped the
broom and was about to wander off and see what the flash
was when a hand
tapped her shoulder. She turned to see a sharply dressed
man in a brown
business suit standing casually behind her, as though he
had been there the
entire time, despite the fact the entire yard was an open
area and Mihoshi
knew she hadn't seen him before.
This Mihoshi is significantly dimmer in the frontal area of the
brain than that of "Vacation Days," no?
The Galaxy Police officer took a closer look at his face.
His features were
sharp, almost hawkish, and his deep black eyes seemed
radiate
seemed *to* radiate
a small red
glow from within. "Can I help you?" Mihoshi asked cheerfully.
"Actually
"Actually,
I'm here to help you." The words seemed to flow
from the man's
mouth as naturally as water over falls. "I'm something of
a traveling
salesman." He pulled out a set of videotapes contained in
an elaborately
enameled box with a distinctive white and brown cartoon
character on the
side. "And I just happens
happen
to have a complete set of
Moldiver tapes,
including a never seen before lost episode and interviews with the
producers of the series. Certainly a Collector's Set if
ever there was
one."
Stars nearly appeared in Mihoshi's eyes as she clasped
her hands together
and began jumping up and down. "Wow! Moldiver is my
absolutist most
favorite television show here on Earth!"
See the Mecha-Washuu episode from the TV series, kids. ^_^
The man's smile grew wider. "And they can all be yours if
you just sign on
the dotted line." He held out the contract plainly before
her so that she
could read every word, including the fine print towards
the bottom that
specifically stated that the price of the tapes was
Mihoshi's mortal soul.
Wouldn't that be "immortal" soul?
He would have preferred obscuring the words somehow, but
there was a cosmic
set of rules even the Devil had to follow.
But, of course. EVERY-thing has rules. :)
His eyes twinkled as he watched Mihoshi, still in a
joyous delirium, sign
the document without bothering to read it; her eyes were
for the set of
tapes alone. As she ended with the final, sweeping stroke
of her last name,
the Devil felt the energy from the pact take effect. It
had worked. She was
his.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" The Devil's voice boomed throughout the
valley the shrine and
house was located in.
Ending on a preposition. Suggest: The Devil's voice boomed
throughout the valley in which the shrine and house were located.
"I'm glad to see you're so happy with making the sale,"
Mihoshi said,
smiling the whole time.
"You little fool," the Devil retorted. "You've signed
your soul over to me
for a handful of measly videotapes. You mortals are so
ridiculously easy to
ensnare. Hahahaha!"
Mihoshi looked at him, confused. "My soul?"
"Yes," The Devil continued chuckling.
Either: "Yes."
or: "Yes," the Devil...
Mihoshi considered that. "Wow! If it cost that much, they
must have been
really hard to find."
And so it starts... ^_^
"Hahahaha...huh?" It wasn't often one could surprise the
Devil. Usually
Usually,
he
was very much on the ball. Over the millennia
Over the millennia,
(I must commend you on the proper spelling of 'millennia', although
I understand the single 'n' version is also considered correct. ;)
he had
heard just about every
protest, curse, and attempt to wheedle out of the
contract there was from
every race there that existed, including his favorites,
Shisterians, a race
composed solely of lawyers .
Extra space.
But this, this was a tactic
he hadn't seen
before. Perhaps the girl thought it was a joke and was
just playing along.
"I'm quite serious, my dear." He held the contract out
for her to read
again, pointing out the fine print.
"Oh no.
"Oh, no.
I believe you." Mihoshi waved her hand
dismissively at the signed
document and returned her attention to the tapes.
Now this was becoming downright bizarre. There was
nothing about Mihoshi
that suggested she was depressed and desired being
consigned to Hell in any
way. On the contrary, she was literally one of the most
happy and vivacious
beings in existence. Even when she was sad, it wasn't for
every
very
long. It
was one of the reasons he desired her soul so badly;
beings that happy were
an affront to him. "Listen to me, I now have full
possession of your soul.
Not soul music. Not soul food, but your one and only
immortal soul that
makes up the unique being that is you."
Mihoshi.
? Mihoshi said, (?)
"Ohh, I like soul food. Tenchi took us to
America once and we
stopped in Baton Rouge and ate some there at this nice
little out of the
way restaurant that was owned by the nicest two people.
Though personally
personally,
I
preferred the Cajun style of cooking we had at another
restaurant the next
day. Sasami did try to make some once, but it just lacked
something. I
don't-"
Torture through minutiae. Mihoshi's trademark. ^_^
"We're getting off the subject here," the Devil interrupted, quite
thoroughly irritated that the girl wasn't more
distressed. She was supposed
to be in a state of absolute misery by now. That was the
way it worked. "I
am now in possession of your soul and we're going
straight to hell. You're
going to be damned for eternity. MUHAHAHA-"
"Umm, Mr. Devil," Mihoshi said tentatively, her somewhat
embarrassed
demeanor disrupting the Devil's ability to laugh evilly.
Amongst other things... :)
"What?!"
"You should try laughing with a more high pitch if you
want to sound evil.
Kagato did that and it really scared me. What you're
doing is just mildly
annoying."
^_^
The Devil couldn't respond to that. How dare the little
mortal imply his
laugh wasn't evil!
evil?!
She was going to pay. Without another
word he hit a
button on a small device on his waist and transported
them back to the
fiery domain of Hell and all of its grandeur.
Cries of hopelessness echoed throughout the realm as
various scenes of
torture, from the impossibly physical to the deeply
emotional, went on
about them. Surely the girl would be frightened now as she came to
understand that this desolation was all that she had to
look forward to
from now until the end of eternity.
With a snap of his fingers a number of evil-looking
demons suddenly
appeared and surrounded Mihoshi, leering at her with no
attempt to conceal
their anticipation of what was to come. They looked to
the Devil, awaiting
their orders on what tortures to inflict upon this new soul.
"Wow, it sure is hot in here," Mihoshi said as she wiped
the sweat from her
brow. "Have you ever thought of turning on the
air-conditioning? I bet it
would make things a lot more pleasant."
"It's not supposed to be pleasant, you stupid little
twit! It's supposed to
be miserable! It's Hell!" the Devil roared.
"Oh?" Mihoshi said, as though puzzling something out.
After a moment, she
raised her hand up, as though asking a teacher a question
in class.
Now as much bewildered as much as enraged, the Devil
dared to ask, "What?!"
"If you really want to make people suffer, you should
make it more humid.
This is more of a dry heat, and everyone knows that if
it's hot and humid
it's much more miserable than it just being hot."
"That's a good point. I'm surprised the boss never
thought of that," one of
the demons surrounding Mihoshi said. A moment later, its
head was ripped
off its shoulders.
HAHAHAHA!!
"It's a dry heat because I want it to be a dry heat and
not a humid one!
Dry heat is better!" The
the
Devil bellowed at the body as it
hit the ground.
As his temper reached the breaking point, control over
his corporeal form
was lost. His eyes grew to twice their size and turned
red, blood beginning
to pour from them in rivulets.
Mihoshi handed him a tissue. "If you get blood on that
suit it's going to
stain."
*THUMP!* C&C'er falls out of chair...
"ARGHHH!" The
the
Devil raged, turning away from her and to
one of the demons
at hand. "Enough! Brack'che!"
I feel I should understand something about the demon's name, but it,
ah, escapes me. Gomen.
A four-armed demon, wearing a host of snake-headed whips
and incredibly
sharp and pointed instruments designed solely of the
implementation of pain
that hung from his belt, stepped forward. Brackish drool
escaped from two
of his three mouths as he slavered in anticipation. "Yes, sir?"
"Let this fragile soul know the true meaning of the word
'pain.' Do things
to her that cannot to be done to flesh in the mortal
world because it would
yield to Death before the true suffering could begin."
The slavering increased a threefold.
increased threefold.
"Yes, your eternally damned
unholiness."
The Devil's eyes shrank back to the former size as the
tears of blood dried
up, the epitome of control once again. After all, was not
Brack'che one of
his best torturers? If ever there was a master artisan at
his craft, it was
that demon. Truly the Devil had outdone himself when he
created that one.
Never had a soul failed to shatter under Brack'che's
skillful hands. Only
the fact that the Devil wanted the rest of those souls
near the Misaki
Masaki
Shrine so badly was why he chose not to stay around and
watch the fun.
Besides, he didn't particularly want to be around
Mihoshi. She had made him
lose control in front of the demons, something the Devil
hadn't done since
he had lost that stupid fiddling contest with that boy
from Georgia. Worse,
that particular little pustule had made an annoying song
about it and now
everyone knew the Devil had managed to be tricked. Even
worse, it had been
at the hands of an inbred redneck cracker.
ARGH! Not THAT song?! Interesting, I saw that on TV the other day.
Of all the coincidences...
But that too had passed. Now satisfied with the knowledge
that things were
in good hands (four of them, to be precise), the Devil
departed Hell once
again.
Day 2
The Devil walked through the gateway back to Hell,
extraordinarily upset.
He had failed to get the soul he had so desperately
wanted. That stupid
Tenchi boy was such a weenie.
TENCHI: AM NOT!
RYOUKO: Well...
AEKA: Okay, here's the test. Which of us do you choose?
TENCHI: Um... Which of what?
RYOUKO: [rolling eyes] Which GIRL?!
TENCHI: Um... Um... Which? Do I hafta?
AEKA: Right. Weenie.
TENCHI: HEY!
The Devil had offered to
take care of all of
his girl problems, and all for the measly cost of his
soul. Certainly it
was a bargain. Like there was any other way the romance
problem would be
solved without bloodshed with those four parties
involved. "Let me think
about it for a couple of weeks," the boy had said. What a
wishy-washy putz.
:)
But at least there was something he could look forward
to: the state
Mihoshi was in. By now
By now,
Brack'che would have her almost in
the palm of his
hand, if not completely broken outright. It would serve the little
annoyance right for daring to upset her new master.
The Devil hummed a little tune to himself as he made his
way to Brack'che's
'Cavern O' Fun.' As the Devil rounded a corner and the
cavern came into
view, he paused, the last echoes of the tune disappearing
several seconds
after he had stopped humming. The sight before him was
inconceivable.
There was Mihoshi, completely naked and with multiple
marks on her body,
sitting next to Brack'che,
no comma
and smiling pleasantly.
Brack'che was nowhere
near as pleased, holding his head in all four of his
hands and sobbing.
Yes, just a little something wrong with the picture.
"What's going on here?! Why isn't this girl broken yet?!"
the Devil roared.
"She," Brack'che sobbed like a baby. "She... I can't do
it. I can't torture
her, your evil righteousness."
"Why?"
"Because... because she likes the pain, sir. I mean she
really, really,
no comma
enjoys it."
Mihoshi's whole body turned a beet red and she squirmed a
little. "I'm so
embarrassed. Don't let Tenchi know about it. I would just
die if he found
out."
O_O
TENCHI: Uh, Mihoshi? Perhaps you're more Aeka-san's type.
MIHOSHI: Oh?
AEKA-SAMA: OUJOSAMA TO OYOBI!! *CRACK!*
TENCHI: See?
MIHOSHI: WAI!!!
/cue DEVO soundtrack... /cue FF bondage scene...
:P
"I've never had this happen before. I could break anyone,
even the most
twisted of masochists," the demon continued sobbing. "But
no matter what I
did to her, it just wouldn't work. I used absolutely
every trick I knew,
but she'd just happily ask for more. And she was so
polite. I can't inflict
pain on them if they enjoy it. It's just plain wrong.
This is Hell, not
some S+M country club.
:P
I'm a miserable failure, not
worthy of any respect.
I'm a bad demon."
Mihoshi picked up a whip. "Want me to punish you? Aeka
showed me how to use
one of these." The Galaxy Police officer gave an expert
crack of the whip,
getting a feel for the weapon.
SEE?! SEE?! I was RIGHT!! :)
"It's what I deserve for being such a failure as a
demon." Brack'che got
down on all fours and presented himself for Mihoshi.
As Mihoshi began beating on the demon with a skill that
would have made
Aeka green with envy, the Devil ripped the weapon out of
her hand. Blood
once again began pouring out of his eyes, this time
joined by green boils
forming on his flesh.
Ewww. I'm flashing on a scene from Dune, with that Harkonnen doctor
muttering about the Baron's diseases... Gack.
Somehow, in some way, she had
managed to go from
tortured to torturer in the blink of an eye. "You
ignorant little toad! You
think you're so clever trying to outmaneuver me? Well
I'll show you! You
haven't seen one one-hundredth of what I can do! Per'vurt
Hen'Tai! You and
your corps come forth and reveal yourselves to your lord
and master!"
In the blink of an eye a dozen huge tentacle demons
appeared. Each one had
numerous long, ropelike protrusions in the shape of male
phalluses whipping
around their bodies. Impossibly larger ones protruded
from their pelvises.
Even their heads had what appeared to be purple helmets
on the tops.
Oh, one lives for the details... ^_^
The largest (in every way) of the tentacle demons moved
forward. A milky
white substance spilled from his mouth as he gurgled out,
"Yes, your large,
stiff, most evilness?"
<laughter>
The Devil simply pointed at Mihoshi and said, "That one.
Rape away to your
heart's content."
Per'vurt Hen'Tai appeared confused. "I don't have a
heart, sir. Just large
testicles. Remember? In fact, you created us to live with
nothing but
test -"
"It's just a saying, you moron!" The Devil tried
suppressing his anger.
True, he had created the demons to be stupid (especially
the tentacle ones,
since their balls literally did do all their thinking for
them) to keep
them from getting any ideas about trying to overthrow him and run
everything themselves, but maybe the next generation of
tentacle demons
should be a wee bit smarter. Still, Per'vurt Hen'Tai and
his demons didn't
need brains to do their job. All they needed was to be horny.
Again, the Devil left Mihoshi to the leering demons as he
made his way back
to the mortal plane. This time the blonde would pay.
Day 6
The Devil felt like ripping out another patch of his hair
in frustration as
he went directly to Hell using his inherent powers rather than the
dimensional gate machine he usually employed. Before
going to the shrine,
he had spent a few days in the Mid-East, which had cheered him up
considerably from the whole Tenchi and Mihoshi fiascoes.
Oooo, now a political slam. Wide-ranging humor here, folks. ^_^
The decades of
people fanatically hating each other had provided him
with a delightful
vacation spot to relax and enjoy himself. Once he felt
better, he went back
to the Misaki
Masaki (I'm going to give you to Per'vurt Hen'Tai if you don't get
this right. :P)
shrine to return to the task of collecting
the rest of the
resident's
residents'
souls.
Although, I suggest: ...the rest of the resident souls.
Only things hadn't worked out the way
they were supposed
to. Again.
First
First,
he had approached Ryouko, who had somehow divined
who he really was
the instant she saw him.
Hmmm.
Instead of fighting or just
rejecting him out of
hand, she had tried to convince him of how nice and
desirable it would be
to take Aeka's soul instead of her own. For hours she
lauded about how much
better it would be to take a 'snobby, uptight, prissy,
Juraian princess'
instead of a 'cute, lovable, cuddly demon' like herself.
HAHAHAHAAA!!!
Deciding Aeka would indeed be the easier target,
And proving himself amenable to suggestion, as well... :)
the
Devil approached her.
Yet somehow she too was able to determine his true
identity and then spent
the next several hours trying to convince him how much
better it would be
to 'grab that awful demon woman who's going to end up in
Hell anyway,'
instead of a 'righteous and noble personage' such as
herself. At some point
Ryouko phased into the room to see how things were going,
overheard Aeka's
description of her, and the two got into a fight. The
Devil had ended up
getting bounced around the room several times in the
melee, and eventually
opted to retreat rather than let the corporeal form he
was using take any
further damage. They'd pay for their treatment of him; it
was just be at a
later time.
*THUMP-THUMP!* C&C'er falls out of chair, gets back up, and falls
out again. ^_^ That was a priceless bit. :)
But now he was back in Hell, and with his return, the
delightful memory of
the position he had left Mihoshi in came back to him. Oh
yes, time to see
how the little bitch responded to being raped endlessly
by tentacle demons.
It didn't take him long to find out. He walked back to
the cavern again,
only to see the pack of tentacle demons sitting outside.
"What's the matter, boys?" the Devil asked. "You look a
little... flaccid."
"It's unbelievable, sir," Per'vurt Hen'Tai said in a
clear, melodic voice,
devoid of any white fluid. "She's drained every one of us dry."
The Devil's mouth nearly hit the floor. "What?"
"It's true. Look." Per'vurt Hen'Tai picked off a piece of
dried off skin.
"See. My usually pretty sperm-oiled skin is flaking off."
Hmm, I guess Lubriderm is out the question. It's milky and white,
too! :)
"For the first time in my existence, I can't get it up,
sir," Another
another
demon
confessed. He tried waving one of his limp tentacles. It
moved less than an
inch. "My confidence is shot. I just feel so... inadequate."
LOL!! Tentacle demon impotence. Who would've thought it could
happen? :P
"Yeah," Another
another
one piped up.
Heh, piped. Heh.
"It's sort of like being in
Hell. I mean a
Hell for us instead of the mortals," the demon clarified.
The sentiment was repeated among the group.
"Well, what shape is she in?" the Devil asked, the
disbelief continuing to
overwhelm him.
In answer to his question, a seductive voice drifted from
the direction of
the cavern. "Oh Hen'Tai-chan, I'm ready for another
round. You did say you
could get it up again, didn't you?"
"Oh, Hen'Tai-chan. I'm ready...
Well, I see you've made up for Mihoshi not getting any in Vacation
Days in fine form. :)
Per'vurt Hen'Tai gave a nervous look at the opening to
the cavern, than
began to back fearfully away. The rest of the tentacle
demons followed
suit. The Devil was about to say something when Mihoshi's
head poked from
around the opening of the passageway. The demons took one
look at her
amorous face, then turned and ran as fast as they could,
screaming in
terror.
Mihoshi pouted, one of the rare times she didn't appear
her usual bubbly,
cute self. "Mother always said men were like that. They
just want sex for
themselves and don't care about your needs and wants."
Ooooiiiii... Of course, bearing in mind how much Mihoshi eats, this
shouldn't, er, come as a surprise. ;p
The Devil's face began twitching madly. "You probably
think you've won,
don't you? Don't you?! Well
Well,
think again! I have plenty of
more
I have plenty more
tortures for
you! Including this one!"
It was time to cut loose and really let her have it.
Obviously
Obviously,
physical
tortures were proving themselves completely ineffective,
which meant it was
time to go for the mental ones. With a broad sweep of his
hand the illusion
took shape. Rock melted away to reveal a view in the
seeming distance.
Several people were bound and gagged with thick metal
chains, insidious
demons getting ready to fall upon them and engage in
unspeakable acts. The
people were everyone Mihoshi knew on Earth. From Tenchi
to Aeka's wooden
guardians.
DEMON 1: Oi! Look at that. [points to a guardian]
DEMON 2: What do we do with it?
DEMON 1: Dunno. Have a weenie roast?
DEMON 2: Yeah, we got that Tenchi guy.
KAMIDAKE: What happened to the wonderful, spring-like weather we
were enjoying.
AZAKA: Gone to Hell, I would imagine.
KAMIDAKE: Oh... HEY! Keep that torch away from my feet!
The Devil gave a dramatic gesture. "Behold your friends,
whose souls now
reside in Hell as well." Of course it was nothing more
than an illusion
designed to break Mihoshi's spirit, the real members of
the group still
eluding his possession, but he was The Lord of Lies,
after all. Such
actions kept him from losing his unique touch. A rictus
of a grin spread
across his features as he waited for Mihoshi's reaction.
Would it be a cry
of denial and a plea to release them, or would it be a
roar of anger as she
tried to attack him? There were so many numerous
conceivable responses, and
the Devil's mind raced through the possibilities.
"Oh
"Oh,
wow! My friends are all here too.
here, too.
Yipee!"
Okay. That was a new one.
:)
The Devil grabbed Mihoshi by the neck and began shaking
her. "WHAT IS THE
MATTER WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT?!" he roared, finally losing
the last semblance
of control he possessed. Not only were his eyes bleeding
and skin breaking
out with pustules, but steady streams of steam poured
from his ears and
mouth.
Awww, come on! You were getting progressively more gross with each
rising indicator of the Devil's displeasure, and now you wimp out on
me. Steam?! :P
"I'm just happy to see my friends," Mihoshi managed to
get out between the
shakes. "It's just like it was back on Earth."
"It is not! They're in Hell, you simpleton! Their souls
are damned. That's
damned! D... A... M... N... E...."
"I thought there was another 'N' in there," Mihoshi mentioned.
LOL!!
"STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" The Devil shook
Mihoshi with each
word.
"I'm not trying to change the subject," Mihoshi said
sincerely once the
shaking stopped. "It's just that I don't know what the
problem is. I think
it's pretty nice here. So far you've treated me pretty
well. Quite frankly,
I expected Hell to be much worse. I personally think it's
just that you've
gotten a bum rap about this eternal damnation thing."
"No! Hell's a bad place! A bad place!" The
the
Devil
insisted, his screams
taking on a pleading tone.
"Aside from the heat thing, not really."
"ARGH!" The
the
Devil roared, releasing his hold on Mihoshi
and tossing her to
the ground in disgust. She was driving him crazy. He had
to get away from
her for a while. That was it. Just a little break until
he came up with
something that would break her for sure.
Day 35
A much longer vacation had been needed this time
LOL!
for the Devil to
rediscover his focus. However
However,
rediscover it he did, but
all that ended up
doing was forcing him to end up in the process of licking
his wounds once
again.
"end up" twice in the same sentence. Suggest: ,but all that did was
force him to end up licking his wounds once again.
It was just so... wrong. All he had tried to do
was trick that
little Sasami girl into giving up her soul. True, she was
an exceptionally
bright child and tended to be very pure of heart, but she
also had a
tendency towards pranks and mischief, which was a chink
in her armor.
Somehow, in some way, he'd find a way in and get it from her.
But just as he approached her, that blasted little cabbit
had wandered in,
and like its mistress, was able to perceive the Devil for
what he was. It
sensed what he intended to do with Sasami and promptly
reacted violently
and effectively, driving him off with an attack of a most
unusual nature.
Damnit, carrots weren't supposed to go in THERE!
LOL!!!
The Devil pulled the last one out, with a wince of pain,
as he transported
himself back to his fiery realm. Choosing to take the
scenic route, he
approached the gates leading into Hell itself. He hoped a
casual stroll
through his domain would cheer him up. He was running out
of things to do
to make himself happy.
As he neared the set of adamantine gates the formed the
entryway to his
realm, the Devil heard a growling noise and smiled. He
hadn't seen his
three-headed pet watchdog, (and Guardian to the entryway
of Hell) Cerebrus,
in quite a while. It would be nice to have the ever
faithful demon hound
greet him with a growl and a contemptuous snap of the
jaws. And that was
the most favorable reaction one could expect from the
guardian of the gates
during those few times it was in a good mood, which
wasn't very often.
Truly the Devil had outdone himself in creating that demon.
As the Devil passed through the gates he shouted out,
"Make way, you
disgustingly vicious bast-" the rest of the greeting died
on his lips as he
watched the impossible scene unfold before him.
"Good boy! Sit! Excellent. Roll Over! Very good. Now Play
Dead! No, no,
Doggie! I said 'Play Dead', not 'Make Dead'. Leave that
poor demon alone.
Let's try it again. Now Play Dead! That's better. Come here, you."
Well, a bit predictable by this point, but hey, Cerebrus needs more
fic time. :)
The Devil's jaw had dropped low enough to touch the
ground as he watched
Mihoshi pet all three of the guardian demon's heads, one
after another.
Cerebrus was panting happily and wagging his tail in the
throes of obvious
happiness. The only time Cerebrus ever wagged his tail
was when he was
killing something.
Slowly, almost as though he was in a dream, the Devil put
one foot before
the other and ended up next to Mihoshi. Softly, he said,
"How can this be?
He bites everyone except me. Even the other demons. He
hates everything."
Mihoshi continued petting him happily. "Oh, you've got
him all wrong. He's
just a big lovable puppy. Shake!" Cerebrus complied and
held up a hand,
which Mihoshi shook. She then wrapped her arms around the
neck of one of
the heads, causing the other two to whine in jealousy.
Mihoshi quickly
hugged both of the others as well, showing that they
weren't going to be
left out.
Again, the Devil just stood there in open disbelief,
anger eluding him. He
tried speaking, but further words wouldn't seem to come
from his mouth.
"I have to be going now. It was nice seeing you again,
Mr. Devil. This
place isn't the same without you." Mihoshi waved politely
to the Devil,
then gave Cerebrus one last cuddle before walking off.
The guardian hound
howled mournfully at her as she headed out of sight.
The Devil just stared at where she had been moments
before. "Any minute now
I'm going to wake up and realize this is some horrible
dream and everything
will be back to normal, isn't that right, Cerebrus?" He
looked down at his
guardian.
The three-headed dog was taking a leak on his leg.
Okay, that helped the scene. ^_^
Day 125
ERK!
That was it! He was calling it quits! That was the
absolute last straw! It
was supposed to have been so simple. Even a Goddess
couldn't resist the
all-consuming evil that made the Devil what he was. He
could have gained
her soul. It wasn't that hard. He had approached Washuu,
intent on striking
a deal with her for universal knowledge. But instead of
dealing with him,
she said she was only interested in one precise bit of
knowledge: how well
her new 'Ticklematic 2000' worked. And since the Devil
had happened to be
in the laboratory at the precise moment she had finished
completing it how
would he like to be her Guinea pig?
HEHEHEHE.
Of course he had tried to resist, but somehow she cut off
his ability to
dimensionally travel and neutralized the rest of his
Hellish powers
temporarily.
O_O Which should be telling him something, but alas...
She then suspended him in mid-air with some bizarre
restraining device and proceeded to unleash every one of
the ten thousand
settings the machine had upon him. It was a couple of
days later that she
finally set him loose, his throat dry and cracked because
he had been
laughing for two days straight. He'd have her killed, if
it wasn't for the
fact she now terrified him more than he hated her.
HEHEHE.
The gathering of souls'
No apostrophe - no possessive involved. However, suggest: The
gathering-of-souls business...
business was just becoming too
dangerous. Maybe it
was time to get into another line of work.
Vinyl siding by Sears! Errr...
And now he was back in Hell, and he wasn't very happy
about it. The answer
was quite simple, really. It was all because SHE was
there. He was at an
impasse with what to do about her. Nothing worked.
Elaborate tortures went
over her head. Physical ones didn't bother her. He
couldn't kill her; it
was pointless since she was already in Hell, which was
where her soul would
end up since she signed the contract.
And cause you to lose the one current option you have for removing
her...
He couldn't release
her from the
contract; in all of the millennia he had existed he had
never willingly
done that.
But he had to do something. She was having a very
negative effect on the
other denizens of Hell. She recently had a talk with what
was once one of
the Devil's favorite evil mortal's souls. Somehow, in
some way, she had had
a long discussion with Hitler and had not only convinced
him of the evil of
his ways and had him repent, but also persuaded him to
convert to Judaism
and open a synagogue.
In Hell.
:j
Something had to be done with the girl, and soon.
There was, however, still one sure fire thing that would
cheer him now,
something that never failed to please him. In a way, it
was what he did
best, something only he could do properly, not chancing
the work to others,
confident in the knowledge that they could not help but
be inferior when
compared to the master. There was nothing better than
torturing those
basically good souls he had tricked into coming to Hell.
Those were always
the best to torment, much better than the evil ones that
actually belonged
there.
He made his way to the locked magical doors that bound
the brightest of the
captive souls. It was perhaps the most secure place in
his realm, with both
physical and metaphysical properties that would keep the
souls locked in,
never to know the taste of freedom for eternity. Chains,
locks, magical
glyphs, a moat of acid, each one making the facility all
but impregnable.
Which failed to explain why the doors were wide open and
the chamber beyond
was completely devoid of even the soul of a rat.
Time lost all meaning as the Devil stood there, open
mouthed, until a quiet
voice from off to the side said, "Hi there."
The Devil turned his head, mouth still agape the entire
time. He knew who
was there even before she had spoken. He had come to
loathe the voice more
than anything in existence, but still he turned to
actually see her rather
than being content to picture her in his mind's eye.
Mihoshi stood there, looking somewhat embarrassed with
her hand behind her
head. Eventually, the Devil forced out a "How?"
"How?" Mihoshi echoed.
"How did you enter the most sealed and secured chamber in
Hell? There are
over a hundred devices that should have unleashed pain
beyond imagining and
prevented you from opening it. It should have been
impossible for you to
get past even the first line of defense I have in warding
off intruders,
let alone managing to successfully open the doors and
release all of the
souls within."
Mihoshi looked stunned. "Wow! Miss Washu says the exact
same thing every
time I enter her lab."
WASHUU: Welcome to the club, Lucifer.
DEVIL: WAAAHHH!!!
"And how do you do that?"
Mihoshi shrugged. "I don't know, I just do it. I mean,
all I was looking
for was something to drink since I was thirsty, and I saw
the door and
tried to see if there was a water fountain in there since
it looked like
the sort of place where a water fountain might be."
"You couldn't possibly have opened that door. It only
opens for me," the
Devil pointed out.
"Oh. I guess it's a good thing I didn't know that. If I
knew I wasn't able
to open it, I might not have been able to open it."
The Devil said in a soft voice, "I hate you," and
proceeded to walk away.
Hell just wasn't as fun as it used to be anymore.
:)
Day 200
The Devil raged as he stepped through a gateway and back
into Hell. What
was happening on the Mortal Plane was unbelievable.
Politicians were acting
in the interest of the people instead of themselves.
Lawyers were following
the intent of the law rather than the words. Lasting
peace had been
achieved in the Middle East.
The Cubs had won a pennant!
Oh, well, there's the event signaling the Four Horseman. (Apologies
to Cubbies fans :)
"HOW CAN THIS BE?!" The
the
Devil raged to the Realm above as
he finished
stepping through the portal. As he put his foot down, he
promptly slipped
on a patch of ice and did an acrobatic somersault in
midair before landing
facefirst in a snowbank.
Again, predictable, but we all knew it was going there. :)
"Oh, well I guess this explains everything," he said in a
calm voice with
his face still buried in the snow.
He remained there for some time before finding the energy
to wearily regain
his feet. He raised his head up and looked over the land
of the Eternally
Damned that was his to lord over as he pleased. Now it
looked like a winter
wonderland, exactly like something out of a Rockwell
painting. There were
skaters, ice sculptures, and even numerous sleigh bells
ringing as demons
pulled sleds like teams of reindeer, giving the mortals
free rides. So this
was what Hell looked like frozen over. At least his
minions had the decency
to make snow demons instead of snow angels.
The Devil didn't say a word; there weren't any that would
satisfactorily
describe his feelings. He looked around with half-lidded
eyes, seeking out
the cause of the current condition of his domain. He knew
exactly who it
was. He just needed to see her one last time. He didn't
have to wait long
as the cause of all of his misery skied up to him, coming
abruptly to a
stop, kicking up a spray of snow that covered him
completely in a thick
sheath of the white substance.
He felt someone jam a carrot in his mouth.
False Ryo-Ohki alarm.
[snip]
"OUT! OUT! GET OUT!" The Devil screamed as ripped up
Mihoshi's contract
into a million pieces and opened a gateway to Earth. He
tried pushing the
Galaxy Police officer through, but she held onto the
sides of the portal,
refusing to budge.
"I want my Moldiver tapes!" She cried a deluge of tears
that sprayed
everywhere, including the control panel to the gateway.
She has her priorities. ^_^
"Fine! You can take them with you!"
"What about Doggie?"
"You can take him too!" He whistled for Cerebrus, who,
upon seeing Mihoshi
distressed, began biting the Devil's legs with all three
of his heads.
HAHAHAHA!!!
"But what about-"
"I swear to you I'll leave you and your friends and all
of their children
and children's children alone for the next ten
generations! Just leave
right now!" And with one final shove he pushed Mihoshi
through the portal,
tossed her the tapes, then kicked Cerebrus through as
well. The instant
everything was clear of the portal, he mentally shut it,
leaving only
silence in its wake.
The Devil stopped then, scarcely believing it was over.
He had actually
succeeded.
Well, in a sense, anyway. ^_^
She was gone. Forever. He was finally free. It
was a wonderful
feeling, like a tremendous burden had been lifted from
his shoulders. In
response, he began to dance around in joy. All he needed
to do now was shut
down the portal to Pluto, and then everything would be
back to normal.
Which was, of course, when the control panel to the
dimensional gateway
began sparking, the water from Mihoshi's tears finally
soaking through the
keyboards and reaching the delicate wiring within. The
Devil went over to
the machine and tried to turn it off, but it was to no
avail; the gateway
refused to close. But if Mihoshi thought she had pulled
one over on him,
she was in for a rude awakening. At the last second, he
had managed to get
the last laugh on her, which she would discover once she
arrived back on
Earth.
Hmmm...
"And at least I know that things can't get any worse
around here anymore."
Another spark caused the controls to the radio that the
Devil had built
into the device, the one linked to Hell's audio system,
turn on. The
melodic symphony of "I love you. You love me," began
emitting from the
machine, carrying to every corner of the land.
The sounds of agony from the denizens of Hell began
immediately after, the
Devil's cries the loudest of all.
Ah. *nods wisely* The Hell of Barneys. Now, there *is* a Ninth
Worst Hell.
Day 201
"...and that was everything that happened to me while I
was in Hell,"
Mihoshi finished her tale to the others gathered around the table.
"I guess he wasn't such a bad fellow after all," Yoshou
said, wondering why
the Devil hadn't made a play for his soul.
Good question, and intriguing.
"He was definitely very ticklish," Washuu confirmed, a
bit sad that how
now (and don't say 'brown cow'! :)
her
string of unbroken perfect experiments was about to come
to an end since
Mihoshi was undoubtedly about to become a semi-permanent
fixture in her lab
once again.
Sasami poked her head in from the kitchen. "Mihoshi, could you get
Cerebrus-chan to quit chasing Ryo-Ohki around? He's got
her up a tree
again."
"That last cracker is mine!"
"No, it's mine, Thunderthighs!"
"How dare you refer to me in such terms, you awful demon
woman! And my
thighs are not big!"
Tenchi winced as the argument over the cracker continued.
A pity about the
Devil promising never to bother him again. It had gotten
to the point were
Tenchi was ready to take him up on that offer of saving
him from all of his
girl problems.
Too late. You're now paying for your wishy-washy-ness.
"Actually, I'm afraid the Devil isn't nice after all,"
Mihoshi sniffled.
"What do you mean?" Tenchi asked.
Mihoshi's eyes welled up with tears. "The Moldiver tapes
he gave me are in
Beta format! I can't watch them, and it's all his fault.
He tricked me, the
big meanie. WAHHHH!"
HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, dear. The Hell of Beta Format. ^_^
Hope you enjoyed. Just had to get that little thing out
of my system. Might
do one more shorter Utena fic before returning to my work
on 'Should Old
Acquaintance Be Forgot' after that, depending on how much
time I have.
My request is "Old Acquaintance." :)
Nice job, DB. Keep up the good work!
Ja ne!
Dave
*******************************************
D.F. Roeder
FanFiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html
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