That declaration received a sad shake of the head from Yuri. "You're about
as mechanically inclined as a drunk baboon, unless it's an object that can
be used to shoot or blow up something else."
Well, at least Yuri is admitting that Kei has aptitude there.
And people they were trying to arrest.
Someone else's probably mentioned it, but shouldn't there be another "to" in there?
Using her legs, she kicked off the back of the seat and floated as
quickly as she could through the air and into the corridor beyond.
As opposed to kicking off with her arms or head.
Such blatant deceptions were nearly impossible to manage around someone who
had been one's partner for over a decade "I'm fine," Kei assured her. "I
didn't take that much amperage. No more than, fifteen, twenty at the most."
"Kei, that's enough to kill most people!"
I have very little to say about this one that I haven't many times before and as such, won't.
She couldn't find a regulation trenchcoat, but unless one of the station
commanders was a cute guy, being dirty wouldn't matter anyway.
Yes, Kei is as constant and slow to change her mind as always
Most of them are downright ugly. I'm not getting any younger, Yuri, and one
of these days I do intend to settle down. Really. But what sort of guy am I
going to be able to snag if I ain't got it anymore?"
Don't mind me, but I quote from Fatal But Not Serious Yuri:"Well, they needn't worry about
that, you know. The 3wa keeps complete personality constructs and tissue samples on file for
both of us. If we're ever killed in action, they can easily clone up memory-intact back-up copies
of the two of us." Further quoted, "Our bosses don't want to loose their investment in our
skill and experience, I guess." The DP go on to emphasize their effective immortality. Mention
of the ability to not age is also made. For what it's worth.
The ship emerged from hyperspace, and Yuri was delighted to see that they
had indeed dropped out right at the point they were supposed to. From where
they materialized, Yuri could see the space station hanging in space
directly in front of them. Things were finally looking up for a change.
No. That just means everything else will get almost incalculably worse.
Its basic appearance was that of a giant, gunmetal gray top, constantly
spinning in deep space as though it were a giant wheel. Having a ten kilometer
diameter and fifteen kilometer height, it was a self-sustaining facility that
could contain and provide for hundreds of people without difficulty.
Uh. Reality check. Failed. The differing radia and velocites mean the centripital forces on the
spacestation would vary greatly. Thus an immense amount of energy would be needed
to stabilize the gravity. I'll come back to this shortly. And the net volume is about 392.5 km^3.
Remeber that also.
According to the reports Yuri had glanced over, the station had suffered no
problems and served admirably since it was christened five years ago; it was
unremarkable in every way. It's as good as dead.
It might be a bit out of the way, but it has a full crew of over a hundred,
plus over three hundred residents, plus whatever guests are there on layovers.
Thats 1 person per cubic kilometer of space. Considering most
people are going to live in communities, that means there will be a LOT of empty space.
More on this in a sec.
"Okay, smart-ass. So why aren't they responding?" Kei said through
half-lidded eyes.
The radio man is on the crapper, and it's a six mile jog to the nearest CB.
Kei considered that for all of two seconds. "Grab some big guns out of the
armory, get on board that ship, find out what's going on, and shoot anyone
that tries to shoot us."
Naw. I don't think they'd do _that_. They'll go aboard unarmed as a gesture of good
faith and resolve their problems through dialogue and mutual compromise.
"I see, but it still feels..." Yuri trailed off.
..warm and soft, yet firm," she finally finished. "Thats my boob, you moron," Kei replied.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. It feels like a lot of places we've visited
after we leave them," Kei agreed.
"That's because we were here two weeks ago.
They must not have had time to ship any more cannon fodder/civilians in yet."
Yuri smacked her forehead. "Not that cannon fodder is limited to civilians mind you."
Kei was quick to add.
The space station approach reminds me greatly of the Aliens movies.
"No bodies either." A feeling deep in Yuri's gut told her that they would
discover no clues in the docking bay.
The firefight burns, the used gunpowder, the discarded weapons, and piles of
dead bodies were useless. Everyone might be sick.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Kei's shout cut through the palpable
silence of the station that was more a tomb than functioning deep space
habitat. The first fifteen minutes of their search yielded them no one that
could help them. No people. No announcements or warnings. No robots
wandering around. All of the signs indicated there wasn't a single person
left on board the station. Admittedly, the pair were searching slowly,
having only just now made their way to the shopping district located along
the center of the station, but still they should have heard something or
found some sign of what had happened.
Or they could be elsewhere in the 400 cubic kilometers of spacestation. FYI: this
space station is about 100 times bigger than New York City. Notice how I harp on this point.
All of the money and credit cards were still in it, meaning that there
hadn't even been time for a thief to make a quick buck.
So the DP did instead. Kei needed a new pair of shoes.
Also have several impact points near it. Got to be from some kind of solid
projectile firearm."
Weapons in the DP world are almost exclusively melee, energy,
or missiles. Projectiles are rare enough to probably ellicit a bit of suprise.
"We're looking at about a five centimeter hole. Big piece of artillery made
those." Considering thats the size of a standard tank projectile, big works.
So they're using KEWs of the 50 mm variety. A miss from one of those would put a
hole through the space station. If not causing explosive decompression, lots and
lots of damage. If they're simply using regular amunition thats 50 mm big, the explosions
from spend rounds would destroy most walls. I'm not seeing this scene happen.
"I don't know, other than whatever they were shooting at was tall. No sign
Or they just were really bad shots.
of blood or pieces of metal from a battle suit or anything. I guess they
didn't hit whatever they were aiming at.
Of course they didn't hit it. Dread Lord Bill is only 4'6".
>From where she stood, it appeared he had died from having his head smashed in
as though it were nothing more than a ripe grapefruit that had been held in
the hands of a powerlifter with no control over his strength, but she
wanted to make sure.
Isn't that just a bit cumbersome? The sentence I mean.
Now she had to do something, and fast before her attacker disabled her, or
worse.
He's a Mormon missionary. They're really determined in the future.
Only fools or professionals still used them, and Kei had a
terrible feeling about which category her opponent fell under.
He should have used the garrote to begin with. Or dropped a heavy rock on her.
Shutting out the pain (an experience she had plenty of familiarity with)
A John Denver fan I see.
Instead, the redhead brought her arm up and caught the inside of his wrist
she'd catch the side of his wrist. the only way to get the inside would be if he was
swinging with the flat of the blade.
with the back of her hand. She stepped forward, away from the wall and towards
her opponent, spinning on her heel and bringing her elbow upward. It was the
man who was caught off-guard as he was unable to block the move when Kei
brought her elbow up and caught him in the throat, crushing his windpipe
instantly.
You can't do that. Not with the elbow. If the elbow came straight up,
Kei would have to be within a foot of him to be close enough to make contact
with his throat. Then his chest would block the blow. If she swung at an
angle, his jugular and whole bunch of other neck stuff would get in the
way, in addition to his collar bone. The most effective move here would be
a foreknuckle strike. Direct, and with the small impact area, perfect for
this kind of fight. Also, you can't just pop someone's wind pipe. It
closes and opens fairly regularly. It can be done, but it's really hard.
What I think you're thinking of is crushing his Adam's Apple. When that happens,
you drown as your lungs fill with blood. Crushing the adam's apple is always
fatal. It won't knock you out though. You'll be fully functional, if drowning,
for your last minutes before you die. Same goes for the windpipe crushing.
he was far too light. He had to be dead.
But instead he was a vampire, woke up and killed her. The End.
Comment about the fight as a whole. It seemed unnecessarily
verbose to me. Lots of clauses that aren't really needed. I'd see
if you can make it flow a little faster.
Judging by the several obvious and more recent wounds on his body, mostly
lacerations across the torso and arms that she knew she had not given the
stranger, the man had been in a fight shortly before encountering Kei. A
difficult one, given how deep several of the gashes were.
What Kei didn't know was that the guy had tried to shave with a survival knife,
in a roller coaster, while drunk and blindfolded. Sans shaving cream.
A quick examination showed his ammunition belt and pockets were empty.
Not one to be careless, she snapped on a rubber glove and
rolled him onto his stomach. Then the real search began.
She recovered her gun and proceeded to shoot the creature several times.
Smartest thing anyone's done in a long time.
That left out the genetic monstrosities as the culprits; a far more
intelligent creature was responsible for this carnage.
Little did she know each little monster was really a Ph.D
This time Kei spoke louder, shouting at the creature. "It can't be!
You're dead! We killed you! Goddamnit, WE KILLED YOU!"
First rule of horror movie villians, they never die the first time.
Just as Yuri was about to be thrown behind the largest console, by
her partner, she felt something sharp pierce her thigh, making her
cry out in pain. The shout was silenced a
Was there a weapon retort? or was it completely silent? Seems like the
kind of detail that one would include.
The dark-haired girl watched Kei dart her head above the
edge of the console and snap off a few rounds of her laser rifle in
the
Extra space after head.
Keeping one hand on Yuri's backside and the other on her own rifle,
Kei ran out from their
oooh. Hot lesbian action predule.
So I'm reaching. Silence you.
"Pretty frisky corpse," Yuri commented dryly.
"This time he's staying dead," Kei assured her.
I have to admit, you made me curious to see the original series.
It was as the woman fully boarded the ship that Yuri was able to see
see several; strings
semicolon bad
was a dated and uncommon weapon, though very reliable under the most
grueling of conditions. The only drawbacks were its bulk and
difficulty to maintain
If its so difficult to maintain, why would it be reliable under grueling conditions?
One would think that in the midst of action, regular cleanings would be impossible.
On the whole:
Well, you did say better late than never!
I liked it, good work, etc. Think you did a good job setting the scenes, since you
mentioned that was something you were working on. My only problem was a couple of
things failed reality checks. Also, as I mentioned, I think a little work on making
the fight scene read faster might be deserved. Don't get me wrong, its good as is,
but I think you could make it better.
-- You know, 200 pounds of trinitro toluene, a couple thousand gallons of liquid
oxygen and hydrogen, and some thermite, just to give it that special friendly touch.
The usual. Updated at least twice a year: http://www.execulink.com/~stryker
Miashara