I still like the overall story, and maybe even the idea of Aeka & Ryouga
getting together, but this chapter just doesn't feel right.
First of all, unless I read this wrong this all happened within the span
of a day or two. I find it very difficult to believe that Ryouga (or
Aeka for that matter) would fall head over heels in such a short time.
Ryouga is too devoted to Akane and Aeka no doubt has lingering feelings
for Tenchi. I just find it very hard to swallow that everying would
connect so perfectly. And if by chance they did both cast aside their
other loves and fall for each other so quickly, Ryouga at least would
_never_ be able to state his love for her so easily; just look at how
long it took him to tell Akane how he felt for her. Also, is it safe to
assume that this Ryouga is either from the anime continuity or from some
point earlier in the manga? There seems to be no conflict in his mind
or wonderings of "What about Akari?"
Now I don't want to give the impression that I hated this. I did like
the way you handled Azuza's reaction to his daughters' disobedience. I
can easily imagine that being the result should the circumstances
arrise.
Like I said before, I like the overall concept (though I always hoped
Aeka would be the one to win Tenchi's heart). Great spelling,
mechanics, and grammar, but many of the crossover aspects need to be
either touched up or just redone. All in all, I look forward to further
chapters but I would hope for a revision of this chapter first. Hope to
see more soon!
Akihiro
TendouNabiki@webtv.net