C&C would be much appreciated.
You asked for it, so please don't kill me, hurt me, maim, or inflict any
sort of injury on me, please? ^_^
navigation but it was all for naught. The only truely good thing
only truly good
the middle of some long forgotten mountain range he comes
You went from past tense to present tense.
was being intentionaly vague about it. Whatever the case was,
being intentionally vague
from somewhere. After a little consentration he saw a nice little
a little concentration, he saw
he could se it. He was sure he would be able to work out the
he could see it.
just to make sure he was doing it right. Tears welled in his eyes
and cried unashamed till he went to sleep that night. Ryoga, for
Tears welled in his eyes, and he cried, unashamed, till he went to sleep
that night.
IF you leave it the way it is, the only things crying unashamed are his
tears.
Nibun