Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] Like Water for Ranma and Akane
From: AlphSailor@aol.com
Date: 7/12/2000, 2:54 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com


I wonder how many of you can figure out what's going on. :)

C&C would be appreciated, btw.


DA/R
Dark Alpha

------

Like Water for Ranma and Akane
                Or
The Arienniichuan

Nooo, not the DISCLAIMERS! Ranma 1/2 and its associated 
characters belongs to Rumiko Takasahi. I'm merely borrowing 
them. I cannot be held liable for missing zeros and ones that 
result in the transfer between clients, however.
Sorry, too late. ;)

------


    Ranma sighed as he let his body soak in the hot furo, royally 
confused by his own actions. Just few minutes ago, he had been 
all over that girl like a love-sick puppy! He couldn't stop 
hugging and kissing her. He felt sickened by the memory of it 
and shook his head to clear his thoughts. They drifted away.

    He heard the door slide open behind him and he spun around as 
he stood up to face the person. And his eyes bulged at the sight 
of a beautiful and shapely young girl's n-naked body!

    Akane giggled at Ranma's reaction, who was gawking at her. 
Partly to his relief and disappointment, she held a small towel 
over her hips. He then remembered his passionate kissing with 
the same girl.

    "Oh, don't be so embarrassed, Ranma! We're practically 
engaged, after all! It's perfectly okay with if you look at my 
body." She smiled sweetly and walked over to a wooden tub of 
cold water. Teasingly, she knelt down, using her legs and arms 
to hide her private parts, having discarded the towel at Ranma's 
head.

    Ranma yanked the towel off and stared, entranced, as Akane 
splashed herself with cold water. He watched every motion as she 
slowly washed parts of her body with soap, lingering longest at 
her chest and abdomen with extreme measures taken in maintaining 
their coverage.

    "Ooo, cold!" Akane remarked as she rinsed herself off with 
another bowl of water. Ranma gulped as he was being turned on 
again.

    She quickly slid (or more accurately, pounced) into the warm 
tub beside Ranma, still paralyzed with shock and fear. She 
giggled once more again and slid her shapely legs around him, 
her arms around his neck and...

    Wait a minute.

    She blinked as she looked into startled eyes of a boy.

    A boy. A naked one at that, and she realized belatedly that 
she was naked as well. And she was cuddling him bit _too_ 
passionately. In a steaming furo. And she was just about to kiss 
him...

    In an instant, a scream of "PERVERT!" echoed throughout the 
house.


    - - - -


    To say that Nabiki was surprised was an understatement. Less 
than an hour ago, very many things had surprised her. When you 
consider the fact that she was Nabiki Tendo, it was no easy 
feat.

    First was the announcement of the unexpected engagement to a 
Ranma Saotome. Apparently her Daddy had made an agreement with 
Genma Saotome, his friend, sometime before she was born, that 
they would engage one of Soun's daughters to his son, and 
thereby fulfilling their dream of uniting Anything-Goes School. 
She didn't want to get married.

    Their unexpected visitors were next; a _panda_ and a boy. Why 
would a panda want to visit them? The boy was a mystery enough, 
since she had never met him before. Her Daddy DID try and ask 
him for him, but before he could answer, came the _third_ 
surprise of the day.

    Akane had just come up from behind and they saw each other. 
One second they were staring at each other as if they had never 
met before (which they never did), and the next they were making 
out with a such passion that caused even Kasumi to blush. They 
were _french-kissing_, for Kami's sake! And in public too!

    None of this made any sense to her. Why would Akane, a boy-
hater and breaker of hearts, be smooching with a boy (which, 
even she had to admit was cute-looking in a way, with a cute 
bod, with cute... STOP IT!), and she didn't even have a chance 
to make any impression on him!?

    The kissing session had lasted for quite some time, and 
nobody had even moved an inch. She had just gaped at the... 
couple? It was not until Akane had suggested that the boy take a 
bath (something about him being filthy), she had snapped into 
reality. The cute boy agreed and left with Akane as his guide.

    She had wondered then; Just what was going on?!

    Ten minutes later, a scream of "PERVERT!" startled everyone, 
and Nabiki had quickly rushed to the bathroom, only she was not 
prepared for a sight of Akane trying to throttle a boy 
underwater in the furo. And they both were naked.

    Acting quickly, she jumped into the furo (and ruining her 
favorite shirt) and wrestled angry Akane's hold off the now-
unconscious boy.

    "I'M GONNA KILL THE PERVERT! I'M GONNA GET HIM!" Akane 
screamed as she struggled against Nabiki's hold. Unfortunately, 
as she strained to pull her sister out of the furo, she slipped 
on a puddle of water, and crashed into a nearby pail of water.

    "Wah, COLD!" Startled by the temperature, Akane ceased her 
struggle, just as the rest of Tendos and a bald man burst into 
the bathroom. Kasumi blushed at the sight of naked boy, while 
the bald man slapped his hands against their forehead.

    "What's going on here?" Soun demanded.

    "Daddy!" Akane quickly tried to cover herself as best as she 
could with her arms. "I'm taking a bath!"

    "With a boy?" Nabiki remarked.

    "'With a boy...?' Oh! You must mean Ran--"

    A splash of hot water splashed them both, interrupting 
Akane's words. The bald man had jumped into the furo and was now 
pulling a pigtailed boy above the water level. "I'm sorry, but 
will you please spare us few minutes to get proper?"

    "Yes, yes." Soun nodded in agreement and quickly pulled both 
Akane and Nabiki before they could protest a word, sliding the 
door shut behind him.

    "What's going on, Daddy? Who are these people?" Nabiki 
demanded.

    Soun chuckled. "Why, those two were the people we've been 
expecting. My best friend Genma and his son..."

    "I don't care about them," Akane retorted angrily, having 
wrapped a large towel around herself to cover her modesty. "What 
I want to know is WHAT DID THAT BOY DO TO ME?!"

    "Um," Soun sweatdropped at Akane's outburst. Quickly, he went 
to his knees and was groveling at the feet of his daughter, 
"Please forgive your old miserable father! I didn't mean to do 
it- Kasumi was supposed to be the one--"

    "What about me?" Kasumi stepped into the conversation. "What 
am I supposed to be?"

    Realizing his slip, Soun laughed unconvincingly, "Oh, I meant 
Kasumi was supposed to buy more rice for our new guests!"

    Three girls looked at their father doubtfully, but before 
they could respond, the door to bathroom slid open to reveal a 
wet boy. He looked from Kasumi to Nabiki, and finally to an 
angry Akane, and brought his hand behind his head. "Um, I'm 
Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."


    - - - -


    "'Spring of Drowned Lovers'?" Nabiki repeated doubtfully. "No 
way. That's got to be the lamest excuse I've heard from you, 
Daddy. Nobody's stupid enough to believe that. Besides, they're 
glaring at each other, and if the looks could kill, they 
would've died an hour ago." She replied simply as she gestured 
to Ranma and Akane having a staring contest with scowling 
expressions on their faces.

    It had taken both families almost two hours to coax their 
simmering scions out of their mood for a proper greeting. Their 
kids were obviously angry over the bathroom incident, but in 
both fathers' opinions, they had more important matters to deal 
with.

    Namely, saving their skins.

    "But it's true!" Soun protested. He turned to Genma, "Help me 
here, my friend!"

    "It's true, Nabiki--"

    "Don't act so familiar with me," she snapped at Genma. "You 
can call me Ms. Tendo like everybody else."

    "--Ms. Tendo, let me tell you a wonderful story... a story of 
a father and son." Genma quickly sat down. He slapped his son's 
back cheerfully, "This is my son, Ranma..."

    "It's NOT a 'wonderful' story!"

    "Hush, son! Don't spoil your father's happiness!"

    Ranma merely grumbled as he faded into the background, 
everyone's attention now riveted upon the bald man.

    Genma cleared his throat, "What I am about to tell you is a 
_true_ story, and it has a wonderful ending for everyone in it. 
But first, I should show you something..."

    Before himself, he held a glass of cold water in his hand. 
"Observe," Genma said simply as he poured it over his son. 
The girls blinked as something about the boy changed abruptly. 
Every fiber of his body suddenly relaxed as if some unseen hand 
had switched his power-on button off.

    An instant later, Ranma's arms were around Akane's body, 
nuzzling her and making contented sounds. "You're so cute, 
Akane. I love you..."

    Akane stared at the boy around her blankly, as if not 
comprehending what Ranma had just done. Except for Genma, 
everyone stared at the speculate, mouths agape in shock. 

    Nabiki, though, whistled a little, suddenly green with envy. 
The boy was practically radiating _passion_. Any normal girl 
would have practically swooned in the heat. Her eyes twitched in 
annoyance. She didn't need more evidence than what she had just 
witnessed to know that this boy indeed was the Prize specimen 
every girl would kill to win. She shook her head; the Dream Man 
of about every girl was in front of her and Akane already had 
claimed his heart? Gods were indeed cruel to her...

    The eldest sister sighed almost contentedly. That was _so_ 
romantic! A boy confessing his undying love for another girl, 
spilling all of his heart onto the her on the spot. Just 
straight out of the romantic novels she would read every night 
before going to bed... too bad he was too young for her, or she 
would have nabbed him. Hmm, she probably would have done so 
anyway if Akane hadn't gotten him first. Kasumi clasped her 
hands under her cheek and marveled at the prize her sister had 
won, "Akane, you're so lucky!"

    And Akane? Her mind was a complete blank. This... BOY had 
just confessed that he loved her. She had heard the words 
before, said by hordes of boys, but none of them had truly meant 
it. This... boy did, she could sense that Ranma had meant it. 
She could feel his comforting presence covering her like a warm 
blanket, dampening even her toughened defenses, threatening to 
overwhelm her heavy resistance against boys. She felt... warm 
and safe. She suddenly felt an urge to kiss Ranma passionately 
on the spot. Any normal girl would have succumbed to the desire 
in a heartbeat.

    Akane, however, was anything but a normal girl. Snapped out 
of her shock by Nabiki's whistling, she quickly became furious 
as she tried to remove the offending _boy_ off her body. "WHAT 
ARE YOU DOING, YOU PERVERT?! GET OFF ME!!"

    She struggled to free herself from the deviant, but his grip 
was simply too powerful. He was... like a snake. Every time she 
twisted into a direction, Ranma would slither into another and 
cut off her escape. What infuriated her even further was the 
happy sounds he kept on making.

    "Mmm, yes, you're so soft, and cute too..."

    "Let go of me! Let go of me, you pervert!"

    "Mmm. Mmm. I'm so happy that I've met you! Happy, happy!"

    Genma cleared his throat, and everyone turned their attention 
to him. Except for Ranma who was too busy basking in the warmth 
of his love's affection. Akane, however, was too busy banging on 
Ranma's head with her fists to pay any attention to anybody.

    "As you can see, I have been training my son in the Art for 
many years, to make him among the best. For years, I travelled 
to many places to enlighten my ungrateful son in the Art, but I 
wanted only to teach him nothing but the best, so I scoured for 
special training grounds to further his skills."

    "LET GO OF ME!" A metallic frying pan clanged off Ranma's 
thick head repeatedly as Akane continued to hit her lover.

    "Ah yes, it was not until two weeks ago when I came upon a 
fortunate incident. I discovered about a mystical training 
grounds known as Jusenkyo. I decided to take my son and train 
there, to improve our skills. However, I had not anticipated, 
ah, the true horror of the grounds."

    "The horror?" Everyone echoed. Akane, ignored by the group, 
continued to pummel Ranma's head, this time with an empty kettle 
and adding more bumps to his head.

    "According to the Guide who resided at the place, there are a 
thousand pools, each bearing its own tragic curse. In the past, 
many victims had drowned in them, and if, by any unfortunate 
luck, some unlucky person happened to fall into one those pools, 
he would be cursed to take the form of the being who had drowned 
last in them. In the midst of our training session, I discovered 
too late about the truth of the tale."

    "So you mean Ranma fell into one of those springs?"

    Genma shook his head, "No. Fortunately, who knows what worse 
fates might have befallen him," he bemoaned.    "No, he didn't fall 
in; I pushed him into the pool." Genma replied broadly, as if he 
had just unveiled his greatest plan. Which, in his opinion, it 
was.

    The girls stared at him in shock. Even Akane stared at the 
old man, not responding to Ranma's passionate advances.

    "W...why did you do that?" Nabiki finally spoke.

    "To help solidify our promise, of course."

    Nabiki turned to her father, "What promise, Daddy?"

    "To join our families, what else?" Soun grinned. "We were 
afraid that it wouldn't work, and that they might fight our 
decision," and Nabiki simply pointed out that the pair in 
question WERE still fighting, to which Soun simply ignored. "But 
my friend Genma, here, had a BRILLIANT idea!"

    Genma nodded. "When I found out about the fateful story of 
Jusenkyo through a mishap, I realized that the Spring of Drowned 
Lovers would help ensure that our promise to join our families 
would be fulfilled--"

    Nabiki quickly interjected, regaining her composure, "You 
mentioned a 'mishap.' Does that mean you're cursed as well?"

    The bald man sweated visibly, "Uhh, it's not important. Now 
back to the story--" Any words he tried to speak quickly 
degenerated into rough growling noises as he transformed into a 
soaked panda.

    Soun nodded thoughtfully as he held on to an empty glass, "So 
you really are cursed, my friend!"

    If the revelation of the effects of Lovers' curse had stunned 
them, Genma's curse completely blew the girls away. To change 
personality was one thing (and somewhat more believable), but to 
be able to _physically_ change into an enormous waterlogged 
panda was a different matter altogether. 

    Before either daughters could adjust to the new change, Soun 
instantly picked up a steaming-hot kettle and poured its 
contents over the mammal.

    "OWOWOWOWOWOW," Genma yelped as he transformed back into a 
fat, balding man, "Hot, hot!"

    As Genma tried to shake off the excess boiling water off his 
body, some of it splashed across Ranma and Akane, who were still 
entangled in each other's bodies of arms and legs. Which was the 
first thing Ranma saw the instant he regained his sanity.

    "Aww, man, not aga--" was all the boy could say as he was cut 
off by a large wooden table crashing atop his head as Akane had 
finally put down the unusually amorous boy out for the count 
under a large table.

    "Hah! That'll teach the pervert for molesting me!" She 
smirked, wiping her hands clean.

    Something settled into Nabiki's stomach as she realized the 
implications. No way, she thought, Daddy wouldn't do a such 
thing... would he? She quickly grabbed another glass of cold 
water and splashed it on her own sister, already anticipating 
her response.

    "What'd you do that for?!" Akane shook her head to shake off 
excess water, then gasped at the prone body of her lover. She 
quickly went to his side and used her strength to hurl the table 
off Ranma and didn't notice that she had thrown the table 
through the wall. "Ranma! Are you all right?!"

    "Oww! Why'd ya do that, ya tomboy?" Ranma moaned as Akane 
gathered him up into her arms. 

    "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Please forgive me!"

    Too late, Ranma realized belatedly, Akane had ensnared him in 
a Lover's Grip. He had witnessed the move often, but had 
feverishly hoped that it would NEVER be attempted on him. 
Incidentally, it was similar to a certain technique frequently 
executed by Amazonian females he had met several times (and 
avoided) during his training trip.

    Once caught in the Lover's Grip, there were only two ways to 
escape: by pushing the passionate female off your body, which 
was unfortunately positioned in a such way that an attempt would 
require a contact between hands and the female's breasts (and 
any sane man would realize that this indeed was _not_ a wise 
move for obvious reasons), or returning her affections in hopes 
that she would eventually release you. Of course, this was in 
many ways, _not_ considered a good idea either, since she would 
be liable to increase her affection tenfold and leaving the 
person with same choices he had earlier and running short on 
air.

    In sum, Ranma was damned either way.

    Nabiki sighed in defeat as her visions of a new boyfriend 
exploded in a puff of smoke in the sight of Akane cuddling 
Ranma, who was currently trying his best to break free of the 
crazed girl. Turning to her daddy, "You used the water on Akane, 
didn't you." It was not a question.

    Soun coughed uncomfortably. "Not really. I was trying for 
Kasumi, but I missed and the water hit Akane instead." Nodding 
in approval of the lovers before him, he mused, "Looks like it's 
good thing I missed. They're SO perfect for each other!"

    "Stop whining like a girl, Ranma!" Genma suddenly stood 
before his son, splashing him with a glass of cold water. "You 
should appreciate your good fortune!"

    As Ranma snapped into a crystal-clear clarity, he realized 
how right his father was; he was indeed the luckiest man in the 
world to have a woman whom he loved with all his heart! He 
abruptly ceased his resistance and met his fiance's eyes, his 
eyes now glittering with happiness.

    Nabiki returned her gaze back to the love-struck couple and 
felt a heavy sensation growing in her stomach. This bode bad 
news, she knew.

    "Ohh, Akane..."

    "Ohh, Ranma..."

    Ten minutes later, Nabiki had quite enough of their sickening 
public display of affection that she ran out of the room, 
zeroing for the bathroom. Moments later, retching sounds 
followed.

    "How in the world did I deserve this?" she bemoaned an hour 
later.


END
===---


Maybe.

Initially, this idea came to me more than a year and half ago, 
but I didn't put much effort into it, only occasionally pausing 
from my bigger works to add some bits to it until it was 
finished. Mainly because comedy is not one of my strong traits.

It briefly made an appearance on ffirc, during one of its one-
hour challenges, and those who had participated had enjoyed it 
tremendously.

Many thanks to the one who supplied me with the Chinese term for 
'Spring of Drowned Lovers,' or Arienniichuan. However, I 
unfortunately lost his name more than a year ago (although I'm 
certain that he's still around on ffml - if you are, give me a 
call and I'll set things right :).

C&C would be appreciated, I'd love to hear your opinion on this 
piece of work. Flames can be directed elsewhere.


--- --- ---
DA/R
Dark Alpha
---AlphSailor@aol.com



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