Script for Baka Yaro! by Mark Marquez/Ryo M. and Robert Cunningham/Kenji M.
(Unedited 1.1)

Hey there fans. We hope very much that you will enjoy this series as much as we do. It has been a lot of fun writing and it is our hope that it will gain some amount of success. The story makes itself very clear in the first two chapters. Our plan is to release Baka Yaro in a dual-chapter format. Let us know what you think about this series by e-mailing either Ryo or Kenji at
muhoshinryo@hotmail.com or barrett326@yahoo.com. You may find some similarites to Ranma 1/2 or Dragonball or even Kotaro Makaritoru. The reason for this is because those three series were the original basis for Baka Yaro. There are no aqua-transexuals or cursed springs, no super saiyans or dragon balls, and certainly no bald swordsmen who are the target of ridicule for a long-haired pervert. Enough talking from me. Read on and have fun. And keep in mind that this is merely the script, so it won't use descriptive language very often. PLEASE send C&C!!!!! Flames will be laughed at.

-Mark Marquez aka. Ryo M. June 14, 2000

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Standard Disclaimer: Baka Yaro is owned by Fallout Studios(tm) That means that we have it copywritten and we can sue those who misuse it. Actually, you can feel free to use the characters in fanfics or what not. Just let us know so we can read it. It would be great to see what other situations these guys can get into. We have a good idea on how all this will play out, so have fun.

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STORY 01: The Cycle Begins

Chapter 1- Setting the Pace

The scene is a city street in Japan in front of a large house. An old man is sitting on the wall with a teenage girl. A handsome, dark haired teen is seen looking up angrily at a larger, shagy haired teen on the street. The two seem to be arguing about something.

Shin: I'm way better than you.
Kirin: Better than the mighty Kirin? Ha! Inconceivable!
Shin: I'll show you!
Kirin: Ha! You seem hungry from your trip. Have a knuckle sandwich.
Shin: What a crappy pun.

The smaller teen, Shin, dodges the punch easily but it was just a feignt. Shin takes a hard hit to the gut. He is knocked into a wall nearly unconsious.

Shin: You hit hard. You won't touch me again.
Kirin: Methinks you should give up.
Shin: Yeah right.
Kirin: What? You still intend to fight after recieving Kirin's Fist of Justice?
Shin: Does a bear shit in the woods?

The smaller boy attacks with a punch to Kirin's face. It is blocked by Kirin's foearm. Shin follows up with a kick that could take a person's head off. Kirin blocks this as well. Shin agrily sends a flurry of punches at his opponent. All are blocked by Kirin's iron defence.

Kirin: This fight is ended!

Kirin sends a mighty kick to the boy's midsection. Shin leaps up at the last second and lands on Kirin's outstretched leg. He then sends a devastating kick to the larger teen's face. Kirin staggers back grabbing his nose which is now bleeding. Kirin looks at Shin in rage. Shin just grins confidently. Kirin yells and charges at the boy. Shin has no time to react as he is grabbed by the shirt and thrown through a tree. Kirin smiles smugly.

Kirin: As if we did not know who the victor would be.

Shin rises slowly, shocking Kirin.

Shin: Oh yeah? We'll see about that!

Kirin readies himself.

Shin: Bastard! Take this! Burning Knuckle!!!

Shin's fist glows with fire as he punches Kirin in the jaw and embeds him in the wall.

Kirin: Curse you, you fiend!(passes out)
Shin: Ha, got ya.
Old man reading a porno mag: That must be tiring.
Shin: It is (breathing heavilly)
Girl: Wow that was fighting!

Seeing the girl for the first time, Shin notes the very short shorts and the view her low-cut shirt gives of her cleavage. He then suffers a massive nosebleed.

Kirin: (Getting to his feet) Kirin is in much pain.

He notices the girl and his demenor changes.

Kirin: Kirin does not believe we have met oh beautious angel. Let us date.

The girl turns, hammer in hand and sends Kirin into lower Earth orbit.

Kirin: Curses foiled agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!
Girl: Pervert. Like I'd go out with him.
Old man: I wonder what'll happen next?

The three are suddenly covered in a shadow as a figure leaps through the air and lands in front of Shin. Shin looks annoyed at having to go through this again. The youth is smaller than Shin is. He looks at Shin menacingly with shadows over his face.  The shadows move and Ryo is really looking at the woman with a huge perverted grin on his face. He carries a large pack with porno mags sticking out.

Shin: You are you?

The boy snaps out of his haze and faces Shin.

Boy: I am Ryo Muhoshin I have come here to train.
Shin: Really? I guess I have to beat your ass too.
Ryo: As if you could.
Shin: Let's go.
Ryo: Hey, I just came here to train, but if a fight is what you want... then I'll happily leave your carcass in a trashcan. (Turns to the woman, grins again) I'll deal with YOU later, hee hee.

Shin wordlessly attacks Ryo who merely dodges every strike with no effort. Shin continues his assault but Ryo just yawns.
Ryo: Boring. C'mon, this is pointless. You're too slow for me.
Shin: Why don't you attack then, huh?
Ryo: Very well then.

Ryo disapears much to everyone's amazement. Shin can't even see the punches which hammer his body. He falls to his knees. Ryo grins.

Ryo: Done.

Shin rises to his feet growling. Ryo sneers but is knocked out cold when Kirin lands on his head. Shin chuckles at the irony of it.

Shin: So far, the entire comic has been one big brawl. What next?
Old man: Great, great. I'll accept you as my student. What did you say your name was?
Shin: Shinryu Hideoshi of the Hideoshi-ryuu. 3rd generation master.
Kirin: Kirin is far from done.
Old man: Who are you?
Kirin: Kirin Oda. Decended from the royal line of Oda. You cannot accept a commoner like him over a demigod such as I.
Ryo: Hey, me too! Both you idiots have to beat me still.
Old man: Great, 3 idiots to deal with.
Boy: Make that 4.
Ryo: How long has he been here?
Shin: Don't know.
Boy: Since the start. Only you didn't notice me.

The boy steps out of the shadows. He is dressed in chinese clothing and has his long black hair in a braid down his back. He carries a long bamboo sword as well as a backpack.

Kirin: Speak peasant! What is thy name?
Ryo: Dude! Is that a GUY? Or some chick on steroids?
Boy: I'm no peasant. I am Tatewaki Kotobuki, master swordsman. Do not doubt my masculinity, or you will feel the sting of my blade.
Old man: I don't need this.
Shin: Master Kyosuke?
Kyo: Yes.
Shin: I gotta use your bathroom.
Ryo: Great! Now lemmie train! Pleeeeease!
Kyo: I'll take only one of you. The last man standing. Kill yourselves if you like.
Shin: Sure, why not?
Ryo: Pain time. I love fightin'.
Kirin: Kirin shall smite you all.
Tatchi: Ha, I think not.

Shin cracks his knuckles as the four advace towards each other.


(Blackout.  Cut to inside dojo 15 minutes later. All four boys look like hell with bruises and bandages. The girl is in the kitchen.)

Kyo: As you know I am the best martial artist in the world...
Shin: (Whispers) And he's modest, too.
Kyo: ...people throughout Japan and the rest of the world have come to train under me.  I would love to train them all but tradition and family law require that I only train two people at once... (Continues mumbling while Ryo thinks...)
Ryo: *Gee, how interesting, I wonder if he knows that no-one is listening.* (Sees the stack of porno magazines on the chair.) *Wow! Look at all of those women! That guy has a better porno collection then I do!*
Ryo starts drooling, The rest are half asleep.  Shin scratches the back of his head, Kirin yawns.)
Kyo: So as you see, it was in 1969 that we--

Ryo starts panting.

Tatchi: Uhh... aren't we here for a reason? What was it again?
Kyo: Are you guys listening?
Tatchi: Uhh.. could you run that by me again?

Everyone gives Tatchi an "If looks could kill" glare.

Tatchi: Ummm... Hehe, never mind.
Shin: This is all exceedingly interesting (Yawns) but when are we going to start training?
Kyo: As I said, I can only pick one of you to train here. Who's it gonna be?

Everyone looks at each other.

Kirin:  I think the obvious choice is Kirin the Magnificent!!!
Shin: Will you stop glorifying yourself you insignificant bastard! It's gonna be me!!
Ryo: Shut the hell up!! I'm going to be training here!!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Shin: It's obvious we should leave him out, he can't even remember why he's here!
Tatchi: Hey!!
Kirin: Let us take this outside.

All race outside and get into a square, facing each other.

Kirin: Kirin is going to teach you miserable curs a lesson you'll never forget!!
Shin: Quit your yappin' you arrogant piece of crap!
Ryo: I'm gonna take you both out you lousy punks!!
Tatchi: Lets get to it!! (Draws sword)
All get into battle stances.  Tatchi takes a swing at Kirin, who easily dodges but gets kicked in the back by Shin.  Kirin gets up and punches at Ryo, who effortlessly dodges the punch, flips, and kicks Kirin into a conveniently placed pond.  Ryo laughs at Kirin then finds a conveniently placed boulder atop his head, thrown by a very wet Kirin.  Tatchi is busy dodging Shin's punches and kicks, with no time to take a return strike with his sword.  He takes a few swings and gets punched in the jaw.  Kirin and Ryo are busy attacking each other with a flurry of punches and kicks. Shin appears behind them, and smacks their heads together.  They recover and attack Shin savagely. Kirin manages a kick to the stomach, doubling Shin over.

Ryo: FIELD GOAL KICK!!!

Ryo backs up and punts Shin high in the air, over the wall and into the neighbors yard. Scene cuts to neighbors yard. An Old Man comes out, sets up a lawn chair and umbrella and pulls out a bottle.

Old Man:  Ahhh! A nice cold beer!!

Old man is immediately slammed into by Shin, who gets up, and jumps over the fence screaming "I'll get you!!"  Beer is spilled all over the lawn, Old Man is folded up in the chair.

All four fighters are breathing hard but decide to keep fighting.  They all jump together and fight in a cloud of smoke for about fifteen seconds, cloud moves all over the yard.

Ryo: None of you are gonna stop me. Hahahahaha!

Ryo tosses out some grenades which explode before any of thewm can get away, Ryo included. White out for a few seconds. There is a large crater taking up most of the screen, all four fighters are lying in it, unconscious and blackened. Kyo's grandson, a boy a little younger than them, starts laughing uncontrollably.

Kyo: Hiroshi, you shouldn't laugh like that, it isn't polite.

Hiroshi continues laughing, spewing out phrases such as "Look at 'em!", "What chumps!" and "Look at 'em struggle!",

All four fighters get up, no longer blackened, they look at each other, then look at Hiroshi threateningly. Hiroshi pays no heed and continues laughing.

Shin: Shut Up! Dammit!
Ryo: Yeah, what he said.
Hiroshi: DAAAAAAAA HAA HAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hiroshi raises head to see the four fighters advancing threateningly on him, wipes tears from his eyes and stands.

Hiroshi: Do you really think you can beat me in your weakened state? You guys have used all of your strength on each other, so you don't stand a chance against me.
Ryo: Let's get him!
Kirin: Kirin will punish this puny weakling!

All surround the confident young martial artist and attack.  Hiroshi jumps and kicks Kirin in the jaw, following it with a punch to the stomach and a swift kick to the face.  He ducks under Shins punch from behind, Shin punches Kirin instead.  Kirin falls to the ground, unconscious.

Shin: Fast little piece of shit.

Tatchi attacks with a punch. Hiroshi dodges it easily.  The punch heads for Ryo instead.  Ryo dodges, but curses Tatchi for his clumsiness.  Hiroshi kicks Ryo in the stomach while he is cursing and dodges Tatchi's sword swing from behind, spinning around and catching Tatchi in the face with a kick.  Shin dives for Hiroshi, Hiroshi jumps up and lands on Shin's head, driving Shin's head into the ground.  Tatchi and Ryo both charge at Hiroshi, Hiroshi jumps up and over the two. They collide, sending both into dreamland.  Stars encircle both combatants heads.  Kirin gets up and looks at Hiroshi, dazed.  Hiroshi backs up.

Hiroshi: You woke up pretty quick.

Hiroshi thrusts his hand forwards into Kirin's chest. Kirin looks down at the point of impact and falls straight backwards.

Hiroshi: That was it? I didn't even break a sweat! (Tries to conceal his heavy breathing.)

Hiroshi starts laughing again.  The martial arts master takes him inside, leaving the four fighters outside, unconscious.

Morning arises, the sun rises over the four unconscious warriors.  Shin takes his head out of the ground and yawns. All of them rise and rub their heads.

Tatchi: Where are we? What are we doing? WHY ARE WE HERE?!?!?
Shin: Shut the hell up.
Kirin: Oh yeah! Kirin cannot believe he lost to that stupid bastard!!!
Tatchi: Who?
Ryo: Oh yeah!! We have to kill that stupid piece of shit!!
Shin: I know, let's kidnap him and knock him out! Then we can beat him!
Tatchi: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BASTARDS TALKING ABOUT?!!!!!
Kirin: Kirin has just the right thing!!
Shin: We'll deal with that little brat!
Tatchi:  Beating up a kid? Where's the honor in that?

Kirin pulls out a bottle of poison.

Kirin: This will knock that kid out cold!
Ryo: Let's do it!!
Tatchi: What the hell are we talking about again?
Ryo: Chalk one more up for Tatchi's memory.
Tatchi: Shut the hell up!! My memory is fine! And my name is Tatewaki!!
Shin: Guys, lets go.

They slip into the dojo and come back out with the kid tied up and gagged.  They take him out in the yard. Ryo pulls out a candy bar and dumps poison on it.

Ryo: Hey kid, want some candy?  Eat it!

Ryo force-feeds the chocolate bar to Hiroshi.

Shin: By the way, Ryo, how much poison did you use?
Ryo: I followed the instructions and gave him a pint.
Shin: WHAAAAAAAAAT?
Kirin: A pint? Kirin thinks that says a "pinch"

They all look at Hiroshi, who has passed out and turned green.

Ryo: Oops...
Shin: We wanted to knock him out, not kill him.
Kirin: Oh well. One less brat in the world.
Shin: What?! We need to get him to a hospital!

They pick up Hiroshi and carry him to the hospital.

Several days later...

All of them are at the hospital with Master Kyosuke.  Master Kyo is raving about how dishonorable it is to sneak up on someone and poison him.

Kyo: It was probably some dishonorable assassin sent to kill my grandson by poison.  Do any of you know who did this?

All look sheepish and guilty. They mumble "no's"

Shin: Perhaps it was a rival dojo. (Laughs nervously)
Kyo: Well, when I'm done training whoever it is I'm training, we'll have revenge.
Ryo: Well we all know who that is going to be.
Kirin: Of course. The mighty Kirin will prevail. (Laughs arrogantly.)
Shin: Get real!! I'm going to win!!
Tatchi: You will all die!!

Tatchi draws sword and all assume battle stance. All jump into the middle of the room and battle in a dust cloud.

Kyo: STOP!!!!

They freeze.  Shin is holding onto Kirin's neck, Kirin has fist drawn back to punch Shin.
Ryo has his staff resting on Tatchi's head, Tatchi has sword to Ryo's throat. Hiroshi moans. Kyo looks at them for a moment, then shakes his head.

Kyo: If you are going to do this, do it outside!
Ryo: Let's go!!
Kirin: The mighty Kirin will punish thee!!

All run out the door.

Hiroshi comes to, is no longer green.

Kyo: Are you all right? Do you need some air?

Master Kyosuke opens a window.  Fighting sounds are heard once he opens it.
"Take that fiend!" is faintly heard in Kirin's voice.

Kyo: I can't believe they're doing it again.
Hiroshi: Grandpa?
Kyo: Hiroshi? Are you all right? Who did this to you?

Hiroshi: *I shouldn't tell him that I was poisoned by the guys or else he'll punish me from being caught off guard so easily by such screw ups.*  I didn't see him, grandpa.  He caught me while I was asleep.

Kyo: Damn those rival dojos! Let's see how our fighters are doing.

Kyosuke goes to the window and looks out.  All of the fighters are laying on the ground with cans and garbage all around them. Shin bolts to his feet and runs away screaming as a mob of women chase him.

Ryo: Why should he have all the luck? (Takes off running after the women)

Shin runs across again, screaming. Followed by the mob of women... and Ryo.

Shin: Help me!! What did I do to deserve this?

Scene cuts back to hospital room.

Hiroshi: Are those guys fighting again?

Kyo: yup. They really want the position.

Scene cuts back to the street. Tatchi and Kirin are standing up. Shin runs across the screen again, his shirt torn and in his polka-dot boxer shorts.  Mob of women run by, one women carrying pieces of Shins shirt, another with his pants.

Shin: AHHHHH!!! I'm getting tired!!

Everyone laughs at him.

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The four warriors are at dinner with Hiroshi and Master Kyosuke.  They are eating rice.  Finally, there is only one helping of rice left. Ryo reaches for it, when his hand is smacked by a bamboo sword.

Tatchi: Hands off, buddy, this rice is mine!

Tatchi takes the bowl of rice. Ryo whacks Tatchi with his staff.

Ryo: Over my dead body!
Shin: That could be arranged, give me that rice.
Kirin: This rice belongs to the mighty Kirin!

Kirin takes the rice bowl and is about to eat it. Shin punches him in the head and takes it.

Kirin: Unhand that at once you fiend!

All four dive into a battle.

Hiroshi: Do they fight over everything?
Kyo: It appears that way.

Hiroshi calmly reaches into the battle and pulls out the rice.  Ryo is in the middle of hitting Tatchi with the staff.

Hiroshi: Want some, grandpa? (Holds out the rice.)
Kyo: Nope, you go ahead.

Hiroshi eats some rice and makes a face.

Hiroshi:  This rice is cold. Here you go, Furball. (Throws the bowl of rice down to a little white cat, who eats it.)
Furball: Meow!

The fighting goes on, oblivious of all other factors.  Hiroshi calmly stands up, wipes his face, and wordlessly jumps into the battle.  Scene cuts to outside.  Door opens and Ryo, Shin, Kirin, and Tatchi fly outside and land on the ground.

Kyo: Thank you. I was worrying that they would destroy the house.
Hiroshi: They must be getting better, I'm actually sweating.
Kyo: (thinking) *Hiroshi only fights them when they are tired and weakened. At full strength they could easilly beat him.*

Outside...

They all get up and look at the door.

Shin: You know what? We should kill that little kid.
Ryo: Yeah, then two of us will be able to train under Master Kyosuke.
Kirin: Of course those two will be the benevolent Kirin and the perverted one.
Ryo: Hey! I'm more than MERELY perverted, okay?
Tatchi: To do what?
Shin: Yo, are we gonna take that from that arrogent bastard and that perverted freak!
Kirin: Hold thy tounge, retched cur!!
Shin: Hey!! I ain't no retchd whatever you said!!
Kirin: Prepare yourself!!
Shin: We'll do it Tag team style! Tatchi, you're in first!
Kirin: I shall handle this situation and come to you if I must.

Tatchi and Kirin advance to the middle of the yard.  Kick-ass battle music starts playing. Tatchi pulls out his sword.

Kirin: Thou shalt be punished!
Tatchi: Let's see what you got you arrogent jerk!! (Spits to the side)
Kirin: Didn't your mother teach you any manners? Take this!!

Kirin charges to attack Tatchi. Punches at him many times. Tatchi dodges effortlessly and eventually jumps behind Kirin, delivering a kick to the side of Kirins head. Kirins head is knocked into the ground but he gets up.  Kirin delivers many punches and kicks, that are dodged by Ryo.  Tatchi suddenly falls over, revealing Ryo with his staff.

Tatchi: Hey! That's cheating!
Ryo: Cry about it Fem-Boy.

Tatchi gets up and starts dodging punches from Kirin and staff strikes from Ryo. He begins to sweat heavily.

Tatchi: Get in here Shin!!
Shin: That would be cheating. I refuse to lower myself to their level.
Tatchi: I can't dodge these guys forever!!
Tatchi dissapears just as Ryo strikes with his staff, hitting Kirin instead. Tatchi reappears beside Shin and tags him.  "Your turn" Tatchi says.  Shin cracks his knuckles and jumps in.  He lands a punch on the still staggering Kirin, knocking him over. He staggers to his feet.  Ryo swings his staff at Shin, hitting him in the back of the leg.  Shin backflips over Ryo and knees him in the kidney.  Kirin runs at Shin.  Shin turns in time to recieve a punch in the gut by Kirin, staggering him.  Ryo hits Shin in the other side with his staff. Kirin lands a punch to the jaw and a kick to the stomach.

Tatchi: Have you no honor? This is an unfair battle.

Tatchi jumps in just as Ryo raises his staff to strike.  Ryo is tackled by Tatchi.

Tatchi: You're not supposed to be in here you cheater! You're going to the penalty box!!

Ryo gets up in time to get his staff kicked away and punched in the jaw.  Tatchi jumps back to his corner. Meanwhile, Shin has recovered and is standing in his fighting stance.  He exchanges blows with Kirin and catches a jumpkick and throws him to the ground.  Hiroshi, who is watching, yawns.

Hiroshi: This is boring.

Hiroshi stands up and sends a flying kick to Kirin's head.  Kirin flys into a tree, hitting his head, hard. He falls down, unmoving.  Ryo jumps in, grabs Hiroshi and throws him at a boulder.  Hiroshi rebounds off the rock with his feet and flys back at Ryo.  Ryo dodges the flying kick and Hiroshi lands on his feet.  Tatchi finally jumps in, readies his sword and jumps at Hiroshi.  Tatchi strikes several times, Hiroshi barely dodges all of them and manages a kick to Tatchi's genitalia, doubling him over, but Shin comes up behind Hiroshi and kicks him in the head, sending him flying into a rock, which he rebounds off of and lands, slightly staggered.  Shin picks up a big boulder and throws it at Hiroshi.

Hiroshi: Oh yeah?

Hiroshi uses the same open palmed attack as before, disintegrating the rock and flinging Shin into a tree, which falls down into the next yard. Cut to the other yard.

Old Man: Ahhh... Ice cold beer!!

Old Man is abruptly cut off as the tree hits him and shatters the bottle of beer. Cut to the battle. Shin is on the ground, out cold.  Ryo punches down at Hiroshi, who dodges it and kicks Ryo into the air. Ryo flys out of sight. Tatchi is laying on the ground, moaning and clutching his manhood.  Kirin gets up.

Kirin: (Rubbing his head) That's it! I'm gonna teach you a lesson, you little punk!!

Hiroshi: (Stares at Kirin) *He's not speaking in third person!! It must have been the blow to his head!*

Kirin: *Ahhh.. the bastard's dropped his guard!* Prepare to die!!!!!
Kirin runs at Hiroshi and punches. Hiroshi manages to dodge it, but gets pulled into a belly-to-belly suplex. Hiroshi rolls and staggers to his feet and Kirin sinks to his knees and passes out from sheer exaustion with a large bump on his head.

Meanwhile, in east Tokyo, Ryo is running full speed (which is pretty damn fast.) back towards the dojo while dodging cars and people.

Ryo: *I'll get that little brat!*

Back at the dojo, Shin has regained his senses and has assumed his battle stance. He disapears for a second and reapears in front of Hiroshi and executes a spear. Hiroshi takes it and knees Shin in the face. Shin lands and is out cold again. Tatchi staggers to his feet, using his sword to stablize himself.

Tatchi: I ain't through yet.

Tatchi attacks with renewed strength and manages a few hits before he too uses all his energy. He falls to the ground unconcious as well. Hiroshi sighs and looks at the fallen warriors.

Hiroshi: Well that's all of them.
Ryo: Not exactly little man!! I'm back!
Hiroshi: I thought I got rid of you.
Ryo: Better luck next time kid. Take this! Hyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Ryo attacks Hiroshi with a speed that puts anyone to shame. Hiroshi manages to block about 10% of the punches and kicks. Hiroshi staggers backward into a defensive position.
Ryo: Let's end this now Ok? *I don't have much left. One more attack and I'm through.*

Ryo tosses out grenades. Hiroshi mangages to flip back and away from the blast. Ryo, however, is too tired and is hit by his own attack.

The ground explodes and a huge crater is formed with an unconcious Ryo in it. Hiroshi falls to his knees. He looks pretty beat up and is breathing hard while struggling to stay concious.

Hiroshi:* wow! I've never taken such a beating. Those guys are much stronger than they used to be.*

The next morning everyone wakes up in the dojo. They seemed to have fully recovered but they are still depressed with the fact that they lost.

Shin: So damn close.
Kirin: Too true.
Ryo: Yeah.
Tatchi: We won't loose again.
Ryo: You remember?!
Tatchi: How could I forget that battle.

Kyo walks into the room with a huge tray of food. Everyone's mouths water. Kyo serves the food.

Shin: Where's Hiroshi?

Kyo: Asleep. You boys did quite a number on him. He barely made it into the house before passing out. You boys are a lot stronger than when you first arrived. Also, I'm going to train Hiroshi harder. He seems to have been slacking off a bit.

Shin: (sarcastically) What was he thinking?
Ryo: (evilly) Yeah. We'll beat some sense into him.
Kyo: Perhaps...
All: All right. Pay back time!
Shin:  You do realize that I came closest to beating the kid.
Kirin: Yeah, right!! The amazing Kirin came closest to making an end to that delinquent little shit!!
Tatchi: What are we talking about again?
Kirin: Kirin is the greatest warrior of all time!! He is the king of martial arts!
Ryo: (Whispers to Shin) I think it's about time for this king to be dethroned.

Shin nods silent agreement.  They both get evil grins on. Kirin is still ranting about how great he is.

Shin: (Whispers to Ryo): Go get the duct tape, I'll get Kirin. Ready, and... NOW!!

Ryo is seen as a blur going to the drawer and taking the tape out.

Kirin: What are you--
Shin: Prepare to die you arrogent piece of crap!!!

Shin jumps at Kirin.  His punch is blocked and Kirin punches at Shin, Shin dodges.

Kirin: Curse you you fi--

Kirin is cut off by Ryo putting the duct tape on Kirins mouth. Ryo then proceeds to wrap it all around Kirin's head until only the eyes are seen.

Kirin: Mmmmpphhh.. Mph!!

They all pile outside and proceed to fight savagely.

Kyo: Boy did they recover fast.  They're already fighting at almost full strength. You feel like joining in?
Hiroshi:  Oh man. I feel like I've been run over by a freight train.  What? You want me to fight them? Not now.  I'm still recovering.
Kyo: Would that you had their endurance.
Hiroshi: Yeah, well I took 'em all on at once.
Kyo: They also haven't trained under me for seven years.
Hiroshi: If I was as old as they were, I'd take them out back and beat them within an inch of their miserable lives.
Kyo: Well, you're not.  So get yourself into the training room and train harder than you've ever trained before because these guys are going to pass you up in skill if you don't dig down and train. I'll be there in a minute.
Hiroshi:  Okay Grandpa. (Exit)
Kyo: *Man, these guys are really improving fast.  It'll be tough to decide which one is the best.  Maybe I could break tradition and take them all. No, I can't do that. I'll just have to decide.*

Scene cuts to the fight just as all of them are beating each other.


Later...

It was a peaceful Monday morning. Of course that peace lasted until sounds of bitter combat could be heard from a certain dojo. They were at it again. Shin and the others woke up at 5 am to practice. Now Kyo had woken up and was watching them fight.

Kyo:* They do this every morning since they arrived. They must really want me to train them...*

Master Kyo's thoughts were interrupted by a loud explosion followed by several yells. Kyo aproaches the four fighters.

Kyo: How old are you boys?
Tatchi: 16... I think.
Ryo: 16
Kirin: Kirin is 17.
Shin:(looks at the ground) I have no idea.
All: Nani?!
Kyo: You don't know when you were born?
Shin: Nope. I never had birthdays. I spent my entire childhood training.
Kirin: Oh.
Ryo: Is there anyone who might know? Your parents maybe?

Shin's eyes narrow and he glares at Ryo.

Shin: (sharply) My parents aren't alive anymore.
Ryo: Sorry
Kyo: Never mind. Have any of you been to school?
All: A little.
Kyo: Well then. I'll have to send you to the high school.

Everyone's jaws drop.

Shin: W-what?
Ryo: School? You mean like normal people?
Tatchi: Oh man.
Kirin: Kirin does not need schooling. Kirin is a martial artist.
Shin, Ryo and Tatchi: Yeah! We ain't goin'.
Kyo: If you don't go, I won't train you.
Ryo: (immediatly)Race you guys to school.
Shin: You're on.

All 4 of them rush off towards the school. While Kyo watches them.

Kyo: I hope they don't destroy the school with their destructive fights.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shin: I wonder what this new school is going to be like.
Ryo: I hope it has lots of girls.
Shin: Figures.

Kirin stops suddenly, looking at a large tank being polished by a man in military garb with a flat top. Tatchi stumbles into the suddenly unmoving Kirin.

Kirin: Watch where thou art going, cur!
Tatchi: You stopped!
Shin: Now guys, we don't have to fight... oh, wait a minute, yeah we do!
Kirin: Be silent, knave, thou wilt have thy turn after Kirin the Great deals with this pest.
Shin: Who are you calling a knave?
Tatchi: Who are you calling a pest?
Ryo: Oh boy! A fight!
Tatchi: Shut up, hentai.
Ryo: Make me.

They all jump into a huge brawl. Ryo and Tatchi are clashing staff and sword when Kirin grabs Shin by the waist and throws him into a wall.  Shin rebounds off of the wall and back at Kirin, fist glowing.  Kirin is knocked directly into the tank.  The man looks down at Kirin as he gets up, then at the dent in his tank.

Man: You... dented my tank!! I just waxed it! You will all pay!!

They all stop.

Ryo: What's he talking about?
Man: Gunner! Get into the tank!

The man jumps into the tank, followed by a kind of skinny guy, also in military garb.

Man: Gunner! Man the overhead machine gun! I'll take control of the main cannon!
Gunner: Sir!

Meanwhile, The others have resumed their fight, heedless of the twenty ton panzer swiveling to face their direction.

Man: Preparing to fire the main gun!

There is a flash of light as a shell flies at the warriors.

Tatchi: What the...

They all dive out of the way as a shell detonates in their midst.

Man: Damn! Gunner! Take them out!
Gunner: My pleasure!

Gunner swivels the machine gun toward Ryo and begins firing.  Ryo dodges the stream of bullets and runs along a wall with the stream of bullets following.  Shin and Tatchi hit the deck as the stream passes over them.  Kenzan jumps over the stream and Kirin also ducks.  The stream continues to follow Ryo as the others prepare to attack.

Ryo: You bastard! What the hell is your problem?!

Ryo jumps at the tank, flipping and spinning in mid air.  He lands a perfect flying kick to Gunner's jaw.  Gunner flies off to the side.  Ryo jumps off the tank andpulls out handfuls of grenades.  He rebounds off a wall back toward the tank, tucking into a flip.

Ryo: Take this!!!!

Ryo drops the grenades right next to the tank and there is a huge explosion. The tank barrel rolls once as a result of the explosion and stops.  Ryo is grinning maliciously.

Man: Damn! Lost my gunner and my new wax job in one shot! I'll see that they all pay dearly!

The main gun swivels and fires three times.  All of them manage to avoid the blasts, but Tatchi is a little singed. The gun swivels to face Tatchi.  A shell is realeased.  With lightning speed, Tatchi unsheathes his sword, jumps at the tank, and, impossibly, cuts the shell in half.  The two halves hit a building and explode.  Another shell hits at Kirin's feet, and he is flung back into a wall.

Kirin: That does it, thou hast angered the mighty Kirin Oda for the last time!!

Kirin leaps at the tank, only to be pummeled back by a shell to his chest.  (Yes, a full tank shot, in the chest.)

Shin: *Looks like it's up to me.*  Hey! Tank guy! Yeah you! Where the hell do you get off attacking me like that?!

Shin picks up a rock and throws it at the tank.  The man turns red with anger.

Man: Take this!!

Another shell is fired.

Shin dodges the blast easily.  He jumps in front of Ryo and knocks him into next week.  He reaches into Ryo's shirt and pulls out a double handful of grenades.  He drops the panties that came with them and hooks the grenades to his belt.  He jumps straight up, and bounces off the wall straight at the tank.

Shin: BURNING KNUCKLE!!

Shin directs the Burning knuckle at the hatch, knocking it off of it's hinges.  Shin swiftly drops the grenades into the hatch and jumps off.  The man looks at the grenades for a second before madly scrambling to get out of the tank.  Just as he leaves the tank the explosion sends him flying.  The tank is still whole, but not in too good shape.  The man staggers to his feet in front of a sneering Kirin.

Man: How dare you!!

From nowhere, he pulls out a pair of automatic assault rifles and begins

spraying bullets at everyone.  Kirin calmly disarms him.  The principle pulls out a pistol and fires about ten times into Kirin's chest. Kirin takes that as well and hits the man in the stomach with the handle.  He stands up and sees the others staring at him.  He pulls a huge metal plate out from under his shirt and tosses it away. (No explaination offered.)

Principal: How...

He is cut off as Kirin punches him over the horizon.  He flies toward the horizon, followed by the tank.  Kirin walks back to them, picking badly dented bullets out of his shirt.

Ryo: So... where were we?
Kirin: Oh yes.
Shin: Here we go again...

They jump into the fight again, heedless of the fact that they were just attacked.  Eventually they make their way to the school...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Grudges and Alliances

Cut to the school. Ryo is already there while the others are far behind. Ryo takes this moment of peace to stare at girls.

Ryo: Hello nurse!

The others arrive and try to find the office. They manage not to fight until they are in front of the principal's office. The principal hears them and stops them. He is the 'tank guy' from earlier. He still has bandages.

Principal: What the hell are you doing?
Tatchi: What's it look like?

Principal: How dare you speak to me like that! I'll teach you punks a lesson!

The principal gets beaten up pretty badly and the guys manage to register for school. The bell rings and the all rush off to their first class.

Scene cuts to Math class. Ryo sits at the back of the class, Shin sits in the middle.  Every girl in the room follow him with their eyes.  The other two take their seat as well, far away from each other.

Ryo: *Ha! I'm at the back of the class!! I ain't gonna learn anything here* (out loud) Hahahahaha!!!!!

Everyone looks at him like he's nuts.

Ryo: Oops...
Shin: *Why are all of the girls looking at me that way? It's like this everywhere. Oh well. This sure is a boring class.*
Tatchi: *What is this guy talking about? Why am I here? I don't need school!!*
Kirin: *The great Kirin is above these simple problems.  He must train, not learn!*
Teacher: Mister Hideoshi, would you kindly answer a problem?
Shin: It's Shin, and sure.

All of the girls in the classroom sigh.

Teacher: (Motions to a coconut) If I were to throw this coconut at you at 50 kilometers per hour, and you were 15 meters away, how long would it take for the coconut to hit you in the head?
Shin: It wouldn't hit me.  I would knock it out of the air before it hit me.
Teacher: It would still hit your fist.
Shin: I could do it without actually touching it.
Teacher: Oh really.

Teacher picks up the coconut and launches it at Shin.

Shin: Burning Knuckle!

Shin punches the coconut which only lights on fire andis knocked back at the shocked teacher. The teacher screams in horror as the fireball hits him square in the chest, flinging him into the blackboard, and setting him on fire.

Teacher: (Raspy voice) Would you please go to the principles office?

Everyone stares at Shin as he shrugs and walks out of the room.


NOTE: To everyone who is reading this, for some reason that only the Gods themselves know, we began writing in the past tense after this point.  Nothing is changed, I just didn't feel like rewriting it and changing the "ed" to "es" in every goddamn sentance.  That is all.
    --Kenji Miyazawa


Later that day...

Shin and the others have finally returned home from high school. All of them looked like they had survived a bomb blast.

Kyo: Well, how was school?

He recieved dirty looks from all four of them.

Shin: I forgot how much school sucked cause its been so long.
Ryo: At least all the girls like you, ya lucky bastard.
Shin: Not my fault. Maybe they'd like you if you hadn't broken ito their locker room to see 'em change.
Ryo: Fuck you
Shin: You wanna start shit with me?
Ryo: No, I feel like a freight train hit me.
Tatchi: Or a lot of pissed off girls.
Hiroshi: Hard day at school Losers?
Kirin: Damn you!
Kyo: Hiroshi...
Hiroshi: Don't wory gramps. I can take 'em.
Shin: Let us eat first.
Others: Yeah.
Kyo: very well

After their meal, they rushed outside. Hiroshi came out as well.

Hiroshi: ready to lose again?
Shin: Bring it on bitch!

Hiroshi charged at Shin. He only made it halfway before Shin knocked him to the ground with uncanny speed. Shin grinned at him.

Hiroshi: You got lucky
Shin: Again?

Hiroshi charged again and Shin kicked him in the gut.

Shin: Give up?
Hiroshi: You got stronger! How bout the rest of you?

Each of them took a turn to beat up Hiroshi who promptly passed out.

Kyo: What happened! Hiroshi! You lost! How did you manage to screw up so...
Shin: He can't hear you.
Ryo: He's passed out
Kyo: Oh, bring him in. Clean youselves up, dinner's at five. Do whatever untill then.
Shin: Sure

After Hiroshi was put to bed. All of them pondered what they would do.

Shin: I'm really bored.
Ryo: Yeah
Kirin: Damnation, what to do.
Tatchi: I know, let's fight!
Shin: Works for me. You guys?
Ryo and Kirin: Fine with us.

All four of them square off to fight. Before any of them move, they hear a voice from next door.

Man: All they do is fight! And destroy my stuff while they do it! I haven't been able to enjoy a decent beer for weeks! Do something! You're a martial artist!
Youth: Alright I'll go over there. Jesus Christ!
Man: Now ya lazy punk! If you weren't my nephew I'd kick your ass.
Youth: Like you could. I'm going now okay?

A figure leaps over the fence into the yard. The boy appears to be their age and wearing a military jacket and baggy black pants. He has light blue hair and green eyes which can barely be seen behind a pair of sunglasses. He looks a bit irate at the moment.

Youth: You made me have to get up from my meditation. Now I'll make you pay.
Shin: And who the hell are you?
Youth: I am Sotoyome Kenzan of the Hideoshi School of Karate! Now, let's begin the asskicking.
Shin: Hideoshi? Yeah right?
Kenzan: You don't believe me? I'll show you!
Shin: Go for it. And don't steal my lines.

Kenzan attacks with a punch which Shin blocks with ease.

Shin: You never were very strong, were you.
Kenzan: You act as if you know me.
Kenzan keeps attacking. Shin keeps blocking and dodging as if he knows Kenzan's moves before he excecutes them.
Shin: I do.
Kenzan: What? Hold still!
Shin: You don't remember me shorty? I'm offended.
Kenzan: Insulting me won't make this any less painful. I'll pay you back for all of the damage that you caused with your fighting.
Shin: Who's fighting? By the way...
Kenzan: What?(still attacking to no avail.)
Shin: Wonder how it is that I can anticipate your every move?
Kenzan: What?!
Ryo: Yeah how? You ain't that good!
Shin: Allow me to re-introduce myself...
Kenzan: I don't care who you are. You're an asshole for what you did to my uncle.
Shin: Like you really care about him. I am Hideoshi Shinryu. Master of the Hideoshi School of Karate! (strikes a dramatic pose, a wind stirs his hair)
Ryo, Tatchi, Kirin and Kyosuke clap. Shin grins.
Kenzan: What? Shin? No way! I refuse to believe it.
Shin: I'll prove it then. Burning Knuckle!

Kenzan is smashed by the attack. And knocked out.

Ryo: hmmmm...
Tatchi: Who the hell is this?
Kirin: Don't know.
Shin: His name is Kenzan Sotoyome. I met him when we were kids.
Ryo: Oh
Kenzan: (waking up and rising to his feet)Long time no see dick head. Now we can settle our little dispute.
Shin: Oh yeah. I forgot about that.
Kenzan: After 8 years I get to repay you for that little stunt you pulled in Hong Kong.
Shin: Heh. You can try.
Kenzan: You won't live past 16.
Ryo: He's 16?
Kenzan: Same as me.

Kyosuke and Hiroshi enter.

Kyo: Kenzan! I haven't seen you since that martial arts tournament.
Kenzan: Master Kyosuke! Pleasure to see you again.
Kyo: So, your father let you leave his lab?
Kenzan: Yeah, school's out now so he said I could go to my uncle's house and find you.
Kyo: Just in time too. We are going to move next week. So why are you here?
Kenzan: I've come to train of course!

Everyone facefaults.

Kyo: Oh God, not now!
Hiroshi: Yeah, those losers want to train too.
Shin: Hey you!
Kenzan: Hahaha Hiroshi. Careful Shin, this kid is strong.
Shin: I know, but I beat him earlier today
Kenzan: Good, then you may make this a good fight.
Shin: Why not, I was bored anyways

Shin and Kenzan adopt their fighting stances, or should I say "stance"? They attack each other with the same attacks for a long while. Kyo watches with morbid fascination while everyone else wanders away. Everyone turns back as they hear Shin preparing his hisatsu waza. He gets halfway through the punch and freezes for a moment, fist still glowing.

Shin: Do I even need to say it?
Kenzan: Crap!

Shin lets his the Burning Knuckle go. Shin streaks towards Kenzan who has no time to avoid it. He merely catches Shin's fist. Ryo's jaw drops.

Ryo: Not even Kirin coulda taken that!
Tatchi: He stopped it with his bare hands.
Kenzan: That trick won't work twice!
Shin: Try this!

Shin charges forward and knocks Kenzan through the wall into the next yard with a kick to the chin.

Old Man: Dammit boy! What're you doing?
Kenzan: I'm working on it!

Kenzan returns and grounds Shin with a swift kick to the chest. The two begin another series of punches and kicks.

Kyo: STOP!!! Dinnertime!
Ryo: Daaananana... (Starts dancing like MC Hammer with the music in the background. Everyone looks at him funny for a moment and stampedes into the house.)

Kyo serves masses of food which dissapears instantly. Kyo brings out more food and everyone devours it. When only one bowl of rice is left, a battle royal begins over who gets to eat it. Yells can be heard from a block away

Voices: "It's mine!!!   Unhand that at once you fiend!   Take that you jerk!!!" and so on.

Kyo manages to get everyone outside for a little talk about manners.

Kyo: I won't have it! You cannot beat the snot out of each other at every meal!
Shin: Why not?
Ryo: Yeah!
Kirin: Kirin does not need manners! Kirin is a...
Ryo: ...moron!
Kirin: Hey!
Hiroshi: DAAAAA HAAHAA!!
Kyo: You too Hiroshi! I saw you kick Kenzan in the crotch.

Kenzan punches Hiroshi. And another brawl breaks out. Kyo just sighs and goes back inside. He stops sudenly and turns around.

Kyo: By the way. You have school Monday.
Ryo: Were not going.
Kyo: You will if you want to stay here you freeloaders.
Ryo: Grrrrrrrr.

Later that night...

Everyone save Hiroshi has entered the dojo and gone to their own corner to sleep.

Ryo: Where's Kenzan going to sleep? This room isn't big enough and I refuse to sleep near any of you because it would be sick.
Kenzan: Perhaps if I was a woman.
Ryo: Well you ain't you queer so go home!
Kenzan: I'm no queer! Maybe your homophobia is hiding your true colors!
Ryo: Why you!
Kenzan: A battle then? To see who's more of a man!
Ryo: You're on 'cause when it comes to peepin' I'm the most serious man in Japan!
Kenzan: Just peeping? God you're a wuss.
Ryo: You wanna trow in tit grabbin' then? Fine!
Tatchi: Is that even legal?
Shin: Probably not. All I know is that Kenzan's old man'll have to bail his son and rival out of prison for rape.
Kirin: It's too late to stop those fools. They have already left.
Shin: Oh well. More room in here now.

The next morning:
As Shin, Tatchi and Kirin ready themselves for another hellish day in school, Ryo and Kenzan return looking like they were hit with a hammer alot, but smiling.

Shin: You guys fight or something?
Ryo: nope, felt alot of women though.
Kenzan: and looked under their skirts.
Ryo: We barely survived but it was great.
Kenzan: I'm gonna go to school with you guys just so I can do it all again.
Tatchi: Well, you only live once.

Monday at school...

Shin: Damn, this school is bigger than I thought!
Tatchi: Let's look around. Never know when that might come in handy.
Ryo: Sure why not. I wanna find the women's dorm rooms.
Kirin: What is that up ahead.
Kenzan: A big group of people it seems.
Shin: A fight!

The idiot teens rush off to see the fight. It is actually very one-sided as there are 10 guys stomping on one student.

Shin: They're just trashing him. That ain't fair. Lets do something.
Ryo: Yeah, I love fighting. Almost as much as peeping.

Shin and Ryo jump in and trash the punks. One gets away and calls for back up. Shin and the others ready themselves for a fight. They are shocked to find 50 gang members charging at them.

Lead Punk: Feel the bite of the Diamondback Gang!
Shin: How cheezy can you get? (Rolls his eyes)
Ryo: Come on, you can come up with a better cliche than that!

Shin and Co. begin trashing punks when another punk shows up and calls off the attack.

Shin: Hey, we were having fun. Who are you anyways?
Punk: My name is Katsuyori Iyashima. I'm second in command of this gang.
Shin: Really? They kinda suck.
Katsuyori: What they lack in strength, they make up in numbers. There are currently 300 members.
Ryo: Are we gonna fight you now?
Katsuyori: No, all of you against me would be stupid odds.
Shin: That didn't stop your punks.
Katsuyori: That man was capable of beating them. He was sloppy and he pissed off our leader.
Kenzan: Who's he?

A wind stirs Katsuyori's hair.

Katsuyori: The God of the Judo World. (Cue thunder) The ultimate Martial artist (cue thunder) He is Death personified and my leader(Lightning)
Shin: Oooooooooo, scary...(Eyes get wide and sparkly) Don't get me started. I don't care how good he is, I'll beat his punk ass no prob.
Katsuyori: I'll pass that along. Can I have your name? (Pulls out a notepad and a pen.)
Shin: Shinryu Hideoshi of the Hideoshi School of Karate.
Katsuyori: Great, you guys look hungry. I own a beefbowl shop nearby. Food's on me for your fighting excellent fighting skill.
Kirin: Excellent!
Ryo: Why so nice? We just trashed your goons.
Katsuyori: Just to show that there's no hard feelings.
Ryo: Riiiiiight.


The next day...

It's Tuesday morning, and it's 5 am. Shin and the others are fighting as usual. Kyosuke steps out and proposes a tournament. The winner will get to stay, the losers have to leave and find training and a home elsewhere. They agree, each thinking that he will win.

MATCH 1:

Ryo and Kenzan advance to the center of a crudely drawn circle.  Kenzan bows, as does Ryo.

Kenzan: Prepare to meet your match, lecher!!
Ryo: Heh, this coming from the guy who hits on anything with a pulse.
Kenzan: Why you!!

Kenzan attacks with a kick, which Ryo easily dodges.  Kenzan goes all out offensive, punching at Ryo.  Ryo dodges, jumps up and lands behind Kenzan.

Kenzan: Dammit! Hold still! I'm gonna-- (Continues attacking)
Ryo: (Still dodging.)You know, you leave a big opening when you fight.
Kenzan: Where?
Ryo: Your MOUTH!

Ryo kicks Kenzan in the jaw, knocking him over.

Kenzan: Ahh! You're gonna pay for that!

Kenzan springs up and connects with a flying kick to the chest, sending Ryo sprawling.

Ryo: Not bad.  Now let's see how you handle my attacks!

Ryo attacks.  Most of the punches hit Kenzan.

Kenzan: Wow.  I hardly felt those.

Kenzan attacks again, only to have his moves countered.  Ryo punches, but Kenzan pulls it into a judo throw, sending Ryo into a tree.  Ryo hits the tree feet first and rebounds, landing on the ground.

Ryo: Your style is much like that of Shin.  Too bad I could beat him with my eyes closed.
Kenzan: Keep in mind that I'm faster and far more cunning than Shin is.
Ryo: Not saying much, considering Shin's about as cunning as a bowl of wet liver.
Shin: Why you!!

Shin is forcibly held back by Kyosuke.
Kyosuke: Let it go, Shin! You'll have your turn!
Shin: That bastard! I'm fightin' him next!!
Kenzan: Not likely, considering I'm gonna wipe the floor with this perverted bastard!
Tatchi: Hey Shin. Where did you meet this guy again?
Shin: Kenzan? I met him when I was 7 I think. I was training in China with my grampa.
Tatchi: China? I've got family there.
Shin: Really? I might know them. We traveled around alot. Anyways...

(Start Flashback)

The flashback begins with Shinryu ambushing Kenzan in the forest, and trying to rob him blind. As he leaves, Kenzan notices the symbol on Shinryu's shirt which means 'dragon'. Shinryu takes the '4 eyed boy' to see his grandfather via the hardest route possible. Kenzan finally catches up and is introduced to Shin's grandfather, Shingen who tells Shinryu to beat Kenzan to a pulp as a test. Kenzan manages to defend himself but still loses. Shingen lets him stay when he learns the boy is rich. Shinryu makes fun of his grandfather and gets hit over the head with a staff.

(End Flashback)

Tatchi: Wow. Your grandfather sounds like Kyosuke.
Shin: He's kind of like him. Kyosuke is nicer and he doesn't hit me with a stick all of the time. He also seems more honorable too. But we learned alot from that old man. That attack, Burning Knuckle, he invented it.
Tatchi: Really? How do you do it?
Shin: That, is a familly secret. But I can tell you this. Anyone can learn that trick. It just requires alot of consentration.
Tatchi:(taking notes)hmm...
Shin: What are you doing?
Tatchi: I don't want to forget this coversation.
Shin: Just don't forget where you put that notebook.
Kirin: They are still fighting.
Shin: Yep, Kenzan and I are about equal it seems. Even after all these years.
Tatchi: We can't use weapons. That means no sword.
Shin: Can you fight without it?
Kirin: A true martial artist needs no weapons aside fom his own body.
Tatchi: I do know Chinese Kung-Fu.
Kyo: If you're half as good at Kung-Fu as you are at Kendo, then you'll be fine.
Tatchi: Thank you sensei
Shin: He ain't your sensei yet. You gotta beat me first.

The boys turn back to the fight where Ryo now has Kenzan's glasses, and is dancing around him.

Ryo: Can't see me! Can't see me! Ha ha ha!
Kenzan: You idiot! I can still hear you!
Ryo: Huh?

Kenzan attacks with a kick that Ryo barely dodges, the blind boy then grabs Ryo's shirt.

Ryo: Hey! Leggo you homo!
Kenzan: I'll close your mouth for good.
Ryo: I think not!

Ryo brings his knee up between Kenzan's legs. Kenzan grunts in pain and lets Ryo go. Ryo cracks his knuckles and grins maliciously.

30 seconds later, Ryo is victorious in an un-honorable sense, but victorious none the less.

MATCH 2:

Both Shin and Tatchi step into the circle. Shin drops into his stance while Tatchi just stands there, unsure of what to do. Shin looks surprized, but attacks anyways with a kick aimed at Tatchi's head.

Tatchi leans back effortlessly to avoid it. Shin punches but Tatchi evades again. This keeps up for a good minute until Shin decides to end it with his special attack.

Shin: Burning Knuckle!

Shin jumps at the long-haired youth with fire surrounding his fist. Tatchi sidesteps at the last second and punches Shin in the ribs. Shin falls over but recovers quickly. He retaliates with a roundhouse which misses. Shin grins and drops into a new stance. His body begins to glow with blue light. Sweat beads on his brow in concentration. Tatchi is just as cluless as everyone else.

Shin thrusts his hands forward and yells.

Shin: Shinkuu~Ha!

A blue-white beam of energy flies from Shin's hands and slams into the shocked Tatchi, knocking him into the wall of the yard. He falls face first to the ground decidedly out cold. Shin drops to his knees, exausted from the attack.

Kyo: My God. When did you learn that?
Shin: ...from...the old... old man.
Kyo: Shingen's secret attack. I didn't dream that you could do it as well.
Shin I save it for tough opponents...it's really tiring.

Ryo jumps up and down. Kirin looks on, bored. Tatchi is still out. He's in the house in bed. Azusa is tending to him due to the burns he recieved. Shin gets to his feet.

Shin: C'mon let's finish this now.
Kirin: Yes, a three-way match is in order.
Ryo: Works for me. It'll take two guys to beat me.
Shin: Shut up.
Kirin: Kirin is more than enough to deal with the likes of you.

The three step into the makeshift ring and drop to their respective stances. Kirin charges at Shin. Shin prepares himself.

Kirin: The vengence of heavan is slow but sure. You will pay for Kirin's last defeat at your vile ha-...
Ryo: Shut your yap.

Kirin staggers from the kick to the back of his head. Ryo jumps over him to face Shin.

Ryo: Let's go ladies' man.
Shin: I wouldn't turn my back on Kirin if I were you.
Ryo: Oh! I'm sooooooo scared of him.

Ryo feels arms encircle his waist. He can do nothing to stop Kirin's Belly to Back Suplex which knocks him out on contact with the ground.

Kirin spits on his inert form.

Kirin: As well you should perverted one.
Shin: Nice move man.
Kirin: Feh. T'was nothing.
Shin: Here I come.

Shin punches at Kirin but it his hand is grabbed. Kirin pulls him into a one handed throw. Shin spins in mid-air and lands on his feet. He is grabbed again and thrown at the wall. Shin turns and hits it feet first. He grunts in pain, but manages to spring off and headbut Kirin in the sternum. Both fighters fall to the ground. A spectator with black hair gets a weird look on his face.

Spectator: Why do they always do moves that kill them both?

Shin manages to rise to his feet as Kirin is counted out.

Shin does his best victory pose and looks to Kyosuke for aproval. The master seems to be deep in thought though.

Kyo:*They are all so good, especialy Hideoshi. I have one more test though.*
Shin: Master? wha-?

Kyosuke moves to Shin and thrusts out an open hand to Shin's chest. Shin grunts and falls over to unconciousness.


That night...

Shin is still out cold from the strike from Master Kyosuke. The others are eating dinner. They have bandages their wounds. For once, they eat in peace.

Kenzan: Still, Shin won the tournament. I don't mind watching you guys living on the street.
Ryo: Shut up. I was distracted. Ego Boy and the Human Moron teamed up against me.
Tatchi: Just what distracted you again?
Ryo: Shut up Fem boy.
Kirin: Hahahahaha... fem boy... ha ha...ha
Kenzan: Well... I propose a rematch. In one weeks time.
Ryo: Good. Maybe we can miss school again.
Shin:(entering with a large bruise on his chest) I won. Why are you still here?
Kyo: This is why.

Kyo shows everyone a note.

Kirin: A challenge?
Kyo: Yes. At the High School tomorrow. Hiroshi doesn't go there. But you all do. Now, mealtime is over. Go train together. Shin, Kenzan, stay here a second.
Shin: Huh?
Kenzan: Yes master.

Kyo turns to them with a serious look.

Kyo: This letter is addressed specifically to you two. I found it outside after your fight. Who is this person?
Shin: Is there a name?
Kyo: Yes, Lee Hiryu.
Shin and Kenzan: LEE?
Kyo: You do know him then.
Shin: He's here? In Japan?
Kenzan: How'd he find us?
Kyo: who is Lee?
Shin: An asshole who uses Judo.
Kenzan: Very dangerous Judo. He's Akira Hiryu's son.
Kyo: Akira!? I remember him! He was one of my students a long time ago.
Shin: We used to be his students too. After the Nationals in Hong Kong.
Kenzan: Lee uses moves that are designed to cripple or kill his opponents. Not even our skill matches his.
Shin: If Lee's here. I'll bet his brother is too.
Kyo: brother?
Kenzan: Aaron, he's an adult by now. He's even better. Shit!
Kyo: Very well then. I must teach you our secret techniques then. I know of Akira's style. You will win. I trained that man, his style is mine.
Shin: That attack you used against me, was that Defeat in One Blow?
Kyo: Yes, however, I cannot teach it to anyone outside of my family.
Shin: Damn! I tried to learn that from him when I was in Hong Kong.
Kenzan: Aaron knows that attack. He used it to beat Shin in Hong Kong.
Shin: That's right! I still owe Aaron for that one.
Kyo: I'll teach you two only. Don't tell the others about this. Meet me outside tomorrow morning at 5.
Kenzan: What about the others, won't they wake up?
Kyo: Don't worry. I'll take care of that.
Shin: Good. Now I gotta deal with Lee and that asshole gang leader.
Kenzan: Two Judo masters. Hmm. Sounds suspicious. I wonder if they're related.
Shin: Maybe. I'll leave the smart junk to you.
Kenzan: I gotta check on something at the University. I'll miss school for a few days.
Shin: You're the only guy in the world who's going to high school and college at the same time, ya know.
Kyo: It must be tough. I give you my blessing. Return here safely.
Kenzan: (bows) Thank you master.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning at the Kyosuke Residence. Kyo is doing exercises in the yard. The 4 idiots are asleep in the dojo. Kyo looks up to see Shin up in the tree watching him.
Kyo: How long have you been there?
Shin: Ever since you started. You really are good. I could barely follow your moves.
Kyo: You could actually follow them?
Shin: A little...
Kyo: Where are your idiot friends? Did the drug I gave them work?
Shin: They ain't my friends and they're still asleep.
Kyo: Good. And you're awake on time.
Shin: I'm used to getting up at this time.
Kyo: Something taught by your grandfather?
Shin: Ya know about him?
Kyo: Yes. I could tell by your style. And your Hisatsu Waza.
Kyo: You're Shingen Hideoshi's grandson.
Shin: Yep.
Kyo: It flatters me that you think you can learn something here. Why are you really here?
Shin: Following my father's footsteps I guess.
Kyo: Revenge may seem like a noble goal at first. But it will consume you.
Shin: What?
Kyo: Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Your father wouldn't want you to dwell on the past like this. You need to distract yourself from it. I may be able to help you there.
Shin:......
Ryo: What ya talkin' bout?
Shin: Ahhhhh! What did you hear?
Ryo: Everything. Tryin to get the master to accept you huh? While we were asleep. Hahaha. I ain't that dumb.
Kirin: What is this that disturbs the noble slumber of the great Kirin. Speaketh now or forever hold thy tongue in thy hands.
Ryo: What the hell are you talking about?
Kirin: The mighty Kirin speaks of--
Ryo: That was a ree-hit-or-ak-ial question.
Kyo: That's "rhetorical".
Ryo: Master! Watch your language! Honestly! A martial arts master should know how to not swear in front of his diciples!
Kyosuke backhands him, spinning him around.
Shin: Woah! Just like grandpa! Well, without the stick. Hey Kirin,... ahem... let us finish the conflict that we ... hath ... initiatiated yesterday so that the mighty Shin may kicketh your asseth, ya putz.
Kirin: Flattery will get you nowhere. En guarde!
Shin: The mighty Shin will layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass!
Shin attacks with a punch that Kirin effortlessly grabs.  Kirin flips Shin over and slams him into the ground.  Shin bounces, flips and lands on his feet.
Shin: Round two... FIGHT!
Shin leads with a flying kick, aimed at the side of Kirin's head.  Kirin grabs the foot and pulls Shin into a pile driver.  Kirin leaves Shin in the ground, headfirst.
Kirin: Feh, what good is karate when it can be countered by professional wrestling moves.  Truly it is folly to challenge the benevolent Kir--
Kirin is cut off when he it hit in the head by the flat of Tatchi's blade.  Kirin's eyes close halfway.
Kirin: That hurt, you know.
Tatchi: Your incoherent babbling woke even ME!
Ryo sneaks behind Tatchi with a ridiculously large pair of scissors and is about to cut his hair when Tatchi swings his sword back and hits Ryo in the head.
Ryo: Ow! How did you--
Tatchi spins, his sword returns to his belt in a blur and Tatchi punches Ryo several times in the gut.  The sword comes out and there is a flash as the tree next to Tatchi is severed and falls-- directly onto Kirin... and Ryo.  Tatchi then turns his head, just in time to see Shin's fist implanted into it.
Shin: Sorry, Master, for the interruption.
Kyo: Allowing your enemies to weaken each other before stepping in? Good tactic.
Shin: Naw, I just thought it was funny as hell to watch those bastards beating each other.  So, are you ready to train me yet?
The other three snap to attention, Kirin throws the tree off of him.
Ryo: Train who?
Kirin: The mighty Kirin will not allow--
Tatchi: Shut the hell up and let's deal with this arrogant bastard.

All three of them jump Shin and beat the hell out of him.  Kyosuke shakes his head.

Tatchi: My turn to beat Kirin down.
Ryo: Ahh no ya don't! I'm takin' you down and cutting your hair.
Tatchi: Why you--

Tatchi's sword blurs down in an overhead arc.  Tatchi's eyes widen as his sword stops.  Ryo is holding a staff horizontally, blocking the bamboo stick.

Ryo: A little faster than you thought, huh?

Ryo turns the staff down so the sword tip is in the ground he hits Tatchi in the hand, Tatchi whips his hand away, the handle of the sword is still in his hand, which is turned away.

Ryo: Awwww, broke your sword?

Ryo picks up the sword and sees that it is hollow.

Ryo: Hollow? Then that must mean--

Tatchi rotates his hand and an elegant katana comes into view.

Ryo: Shit.

Tatchi attacks, and Ryo manages to deflect the strikes with his staff. Tatchi is obviously better with his sword than Ryo is with his staff. Tatchi grins while Ryo begins to sweat.

Tatchi: Ready to end this?

Ryo is starting to wear down. He then grins as well.

Ryo: You really are good. But... I'm better!

Ryo pulls his staff in half to reveal a chain connecting the two halves. He uses the chain and wraps it around Tatchi's sword and smirks. Tatchi isn't so amused. He effortlessly cuts the chain and continues his onslaught, shredding Ryo's clothes in the process. Ryo tosses his useless weapon away and dodges the sword strikes. Ryo jumps away to a safe distance and curses. Tatchi grins victoriously.

Tatchi: Give up?
Ryo: No...not yet.

Ryo charges forward and disapears right as Tatchi brings his sword down. Hitting only air, Tatchi brings his sword to block. He falls to his knees as he is hit from behind with a rock. He turns and cuts the next rock thrown at him in half. This continues for quite some time.  Just as Tatchi blocks one rock, he is hit by another in the back of the head.

Tatchi: Come out and fight!

Ryo steps out from behind a tree, hands behind his back.  Tatchi stabs at Ryo, who produces a large rock in each hand and smashes them together on Tatchi's head just as Tatchi's sword cuts into Ryo's left shoulder.  Both combatants fall to the ground, clutching their injured areas.  Ryo is up first, he tears off his shirt and wraps it around the cut, assuming his stance again, with a very, very serious look on his face.  Tatchi stands as well, leaning heavily on his sword.  He shakes his head a few times, then brings his sword up to its position.

Kyo: ENOUGH! This will end before someone is killed.
Tatchi: Yes, master.  (Falls over.)
Ryo: Ha! I... win...

Ryo falls to his knees and passes out.

Kirin: Had that battle progresses any further, methinks Kotobuki wouldst have met an untimely end.
Shin: I'd have to disagree. Tatchi was looking very seriously pissed off there.
Kirin: Doubt my prediction, will you?
Shin: I certainly will! What're you gonna do about it you overgrown chimp?
Kirin: Flattery will get you nowhere.

Kirin grabs Shin by the shirt.  Shin punches Kirin in the face.  Kirin goes to use the piledriver, but Shin hits Kirin in some pressure points along his side.  Kirin drops him and begins cursing in a very non-elegant manner.  Kirin has two huge, nasty looking bruises in his sides.  Kyosuke looks impressed.  Kirin falls to the ground face first and doesn't stir. Shin walks inside and passes out the instant he gets inside.  Kyosuke shakes his head.

Kyo: *So much for Shin's secret training.*

Two hours later, Tatchi and Ryo are awake and getting ready for a grueling day at school along with Shin and Kirin. Azusa is already ready and is waiting for the group.

Shin: Another day of hell. At least I get to have two duels to pass the time.
Ryo: Lucky you. I'll just have to make my own fun.
Kirin: And that would be?
Ryo: Sneak in the girls' shower and spy on naked girls of course.
Tatchi: You sick weirdo. When will you grow up?
Ryo: As soon as you aren't a long-haired fag anymore.

Tatchi unsheathes his sword and begins brandishing it wildly.

Tatchi: I'll kill you. Today, at the quad at lunch.
Ryo: Is that a challenge?
Tatchi: YES! God you are stupid.
Ryo: Cool. I get a duel too! Nanananananaaa!!
Tatchi: I'm going ahead. See ya.
Ryo: Hey! Don't walk away from me! I ain't done teasing you! Hey!
Kirin: Another day. Kirin must go to the convenience store to pick up goods that will ensure his survival through the hellish ritual known as school.

Kirin goes into the store on the corner, leaving only Shin and Azusa. Shin is noticably uncomfortable.

Azusa: I never really got to talk to you since you arrived.
Shin: Oh.
Azusa: I talked to the others, even that sicko Ryo.
Shin: Uh...really?
Azusa: So, where are you from?
Shin: Uh... I used to live in Hong Kong. I trained in China and Thailand, and Korea too.
Azusa: That's pretty cool.
Shin: (relaxing)Thanks. I like to talk about martial arts, ya know?
Azusa: Me too. I'm not that good but I do it to keep in shape.
Shin: Hm. I could train you if you want.
Azusa: Really? That would be cool. Grandpa has been so busy training Hiroshi after you guys beat him up.
Shin: That, he had coming.
Azusa: I know. He's a real brat.
Shin: Me and the others haven't bothered you have we?
Azusa: No, thanks for asking. Tatchi asked that too. He's really nice, but a bit absent-minded.
Shin: Yeah.
Azusa: Those guys all have some weird thing. All except you. You're the normal one of the group.
Shin: Heh. I guess you're right.
Azusa: You're kinda cute too.
Shin: (turning red) Really?
Azusa: The girls at school asked about you yesterday. They wanted your number.
Shin: (very uncomfortable) He he he. I seem to have that effect on people. (Loosens collar)
Azusa: Are you okay?
Shin: Oh yeah. No prob. He he he. *God, please get me out of this situation.*

As if to answer his prayer, a yell is heard from the school.

Tatchi: Leave them alone you pervert!
Ryo: Oh shut up!
Tatchi: It's obvious they don't like you.
Ryo: How would you know? Oh yeah, it takes one to know one right?
Tatchi: Why you! DIE!!!!

Tatchi attacks with his kitana. Ryo dodges and runs away. Tatchi fumes and gives chase.

Girl: That long-haired guy was pretty cute.
Girl2: Yeah. We should follow him.

Meanwhile, some girls have caught sight of Shin and Azusa.

Girl3: Hey! It's that Hideoshi hunk!
Girl4: Look, Azusa's hogging him all to herself.
Girl3: C'mon girls. Lt's get him to go out with us!
Girls: Charge!

Shin has noticed the girls rushing at them. Azusa is bewildered, but Shin looks for an escape from his admirers. Not wanting Azusa to get trampled, Shin scoops her up in his arms and takes off, trying his best not to notice the beautiful, and well endowed girl in his arms.

============================================================================
Is it just me? Or do these guys fight a lot?

NEXT: Chapter 3- Fast Break on Two Fronts
Just what will happen to the overly shy, Shin Hideoshi? His little problem with girls is nothing compared to his problem with people trying to kill him, as we will soon see. And Kirin meets up with the cast of Kevin Smith's "Clerks" on his quest for Hostess products.

AND: Chapter 4- Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire
After escaping his mob of adimirers, Shin does battle with the god of judo, Lee Hiryu. Can he win over an opponent who can turn his own attacks against him? Kenzan makes his return with some startling news. And just what will Tatchi do if he actually manages to catch Ryo?

You'll find out if you read the next two chapters which are on the way. One word of advice, prepare to keep track of a huge slew of characters that makes Ranma 1/2 look like a two bit production. Until next time, I say 'see ya.' Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. This is coming some day in manga form. I will be drawing it myself but if you wanna send in a sketch of what you think a character should look like, I'd apreciate it as I haven't designed everyone yet. That's all. I'm done, really. I swear...I'm gonna shut up now. Look at me shutting up.

Ryo M.
"A broad? I didn't know they made Cobras in automatic!" -Bean Bandit from GSC



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