The Wandering Stranger
a spamfic by C. Casta�eda
It was a forbodding sight. Dark clouds loomed ominously
as only ominously dark clouds could. Rain pelted like silver
bullets exploding impact after impact. Pik. Pik. Pik. Over
and over...
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
Cold rain poured over The Wandering Stranger's black hat
as cold rain tended to do that on a hat. Wearing a trenchcoat
reminiscent of the Matrix and that ol' Highlander series, The
Wandering Stranger has the form reminiscent of a Jewish priest.
He grinned his toothy li'l grin just right under his hat,
hiding the eyes, for the right effect. His incredibly powerful
Jlipiskdjiod technique, a technique so brutal only one man can
be trusted with its full power, yadda yadda...can level the
universe, parallel worlds and can get rid of household lint
in one brusque stroke, will do well in the forthcoming events
to be unfolded. Yes, a truly manly technique, Nodoka Saotome
would say.
Which is all in all good, since said wandering stranger
was four feet tall and has the build of an emancipiated
Gosunkugi (which, in effect, is a redundant redundancy).
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
He kept on grinning, all-in-all being as frightening as a
only looming dimunitive Jewish priest could. Still he waited.
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
And waited.
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
Meowr!
Damn cat. Damn cat intestinals, but no matter. His hour
of honor and regaining dignity to the Council of Jlipiskdjiod
unofficially called Jlipiskdjiod-r-Us) beckoned him to move
on, or rather stay put, amidst the skin-numbing rain and a frog
crawling from under his coat.
Pik.
Pik.
Croak!
Splat!
Pik.
After two hours and a half, a splattered cat, dog, mice,
frogs (there was another one, just right below the left sock)
and a horse (dun ask), he finally arrived. With the grace and
skillfulness of a swan on chinese shoes, the apparition
descended among the rooftops toward a wall directly facing
the Wandering Stranger.
So there he was...Ranma Saotome.
The dimunitive Jewish Pri--Wandering Stranger merely grinned
his feral grin in aknowledgement to the boy, showing canines
White Fang could be proud off. He studied the young specimen of
manhood, in his decisively chinese garb, his slim figure, his
fiery-red hair, his wet white shirt, his voluptous chests...it
would be a short fight for such as one as skilled as a master
of Jlipiskdjiod...
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
There is something to be known about The Wandering Stranger
...a.k.a. Akira "chibi" Miki, who has been studying the art of
Jlipiskdjiod for a long, long time due to certain, ah, issues
he has about himself. Y'see, he has this self-esteem issue
regarding his being "chibi." It's hard for a four feet tall,
frail looking thing like himself to earn respect nowadays.
But it's not even about that. He's "chibi"...in _every_ way
possible. So without further saying, he has this issue with
girls and stuff, making him super-shy around any femmes
as any Ryoga Hibiki would. That is why he learned the
Jlipiskdjiod. He'd earn (beat the living crap out of anyone who
doesn't give...) his due respect and dignity. He'd be a hit with
the girls...he'll show them that he can be big in other ways...
Pik.
Pik.
Pik.
It was a hellish site indeed. As the rain poured, so did the
blood. There was a splaterred pool of crimson red blood, like from
a really cheesy thriller movie, or your usual shonen anime. It
continued to slowly grow from a steadily gushing source.
Ranma Saotome merely shrugged and went her way as the dimunitive
Jewish Priest look-alike had a severe case of nosebleed.
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Author's Notes: I was bored. I just finished Kenko's Girl Days.
Here's the end result. And that is my note.
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 are not mine but the property of Rumiko
Takahashi and various other companies. The Wandering Stranger
is on his own, whether he likes it or not.
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