Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][Utena] Sovereignty-Associatonist Girl Nanami
From: Alan Harnum
Date: 7/1/2000, 4:05 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Just in time for Canada Day, it's a tasteful and patriotic tribute to
one of the pressing national issues facing Canada today.  No, wait, 
that's something else.  Certainly not this.

As far as spoilers go, this takes place between episodes 21 and 22 of
the television series.  There are mild spoiler references to the 
movie and the end of the Black Rose arc, and some jokes rely upon 
knowledge of the movie and the full television series.

A poster may be found at http://www.thekeep.org/~harnums/sagn.jpg

We, the responsible, can be reached at:

Alan Harnum - harnums@thekeep.org

Paul Corrigan - corrig11@pilot.msu.edu

* * *

Once upon a time, mes enfants, there was a little princess, and she 
was very sad, because her father's kingdom had fallen to his enemies, 
and many other children had come to the kingdom who did not speak her 
language, and who laughed at and teased her because she could not 
speak theirs.

One day there came a prince from the east. He spoke to her in her own 
language, saying, "Fear not, my child, for one day this land will be 
free once more. Take this ring in memory of me," he went on, and gave 
her a ring with a white lily flower crest carved in blue stone.

It is possible that the ring was an engagement ring.

Which was all very well, except that the little princess was so taken
by the prince that she decided to get back at the other children, not
by making her father's kingdom free once more, but by making it
French!

But was that such a good idea, mes enfants?

               SOVEREIGNTY-ASSOCIATIONIST GIRL NANAMI

                              OR

                     POUTINE-NARU HIGH TRIP

                 A "Blame Tobuko Lamer" Production

                              by
                    
                    Alan Harnum and Paul Corrigan

_Shoujo Kakumei Utena_ concept devised by BePAPAS 

Sovereignty-association concept devised but never really defined by
le Parti qu�b�cois 

[Touga's Room of Moping (see the Black Rose arc). The "Largo" from
Dvorak's Ninth Symphony is still playing--Touga has apparently been 
so traumatized by actually being foiled by somebody that he can't 
even make the effort to change the record on his gramophone. Close-up 
shots of the gramophone, Touga's brooding face, the windows. Move out
to the hallway beyond, where Nanami is watching through the cracked
door with concern on her face.]

Nanami [thought]: Oniisama is still brooding, even after that nice 
party I threw for him, and having that sword pulled out of him by 
Keiko. And we still don't know who those mysterious Black Roses are.
If only there were some way to get my brother back to normal... 
something I could do to make him feel better... so he'd come back, 
and take over the Council again... and I could stop doing all that 
paperwork...

[Cut back to Touga. His lips move, slowly.]

Touga: Pou...

[Nanami starts.]

Nanami [thought]: Oniisama... spoke?

Touga: ...tine.

Nanami [thought]: Pou...tine? What... of course! I remember now!

[A spinning yellow rose (to indicate a Nanami flashback) appears.
Unfortunately, it's far too large and fills the entire screen, so 
that only flickering bits of colour can be occasionally seen at 
the edges as it spins.]

Nanami [VO]: Five years ago... when we went on our family vacation
to Montreal, Canada... what incredible sights! The Biosphere...
the Olympic Stadium... the Botanical Gardens... the Old Port...

[As Nanami speaks, the tiny bits of the screen not covered by the
spinning rose change colour. We're probably missing some lovely
scenery.]

Nanami [VO]: ...and the poutine! Oh, Big Brother loved that poutine 
he had so very much...

Young Touga [VO]: Cheese curds! And gravy--on french fries! Why...
these Quebecois are culinary geniuses!

Young Nanami [VO]: Oniisama, let me try some!

Mr. Kiryuu [VO]: Touga, Nanami--that poutine is terribly fattening,
and bad for your heart. Throw it away immediately! I forbid you to
eat poutine ever again!

Young Touga [VO]: But, Father--

Young Nanami [VO]: Papa...

Mr. Kiryuu [VO]: Stop arguing!  Or would you rather go and live with
your father from the movie?

[The spinning rose disappears, to reveal Nanami in the library of the
Kiryuu manor, sitting at a table and rapidly flipping through a 
stack of dusty books.]

Nanami [soft voice]: Oniisama and I never ate poutine again...  I'd 
forgotten all about that, until now. If oniisama had some poutine... 

[Nanami's eyes widen and shimmer as she lapses into fantasy. The
scene fades to Touga's Room of Moping, seen through a diffuse lens to
indicate the imaginary nature of it. The "Largo" is still playing.]

Touga [brooding]: ...

[Suddenly, the door opens, and Nanami rushes in carrying a steaming
dish of poutine, with a silver fork delicately stuck into it.]

Nanami: Oniisama!

[Touga looks up. He sniffs the air, inhaling the enticing odour of
the poutine. His eyes widen.]

Touga: Pou...tine.

[He rises from the chair and spreads his arms wide.]

Touga: Nanami!

Nanami [flying through the air, poutine held carefully in her hands]:
Oniiiiiiiiisaaaaaamaaa!

[Touga catches Nanami in a gentle embrace. The poutine lies between
them, wafting steam fragrantly into the air. Nanami raises a single
french fry, covered in melted cheese curds and gravy, to Touga's 
lips. Touga's eyes sparkle. Nanami's eyes sparkle. The "Largo"
abruptly changes to the "Overture" from Offenbach's "Ga�t� 
Parissienne". Touga eats the poutine.]

Nanami [quaveringly]: How is it, oniisama?

Touga: Nanami... [he clasps her fork-holding hand in one of his] It
is perfect. That was just what I needed. And now...

[A rapid series of still shots. Nanami and Touga eat poutine at the 
dinner table. Nanami and Touga eat poutine at a table at a seaside 
cafe. Nanami and Touga eat poutine on Ohtori's lawn, underneath a
shady tree. Nanami and Touga eat poutine in Ohtori's greenhouse, 
while Utena and Anthy stand outside in the pouring rain and watch 
hungrily through the windows. Cut back to reality, with Nanami 
standing up on the library table and clutching several books to her 
chest.]

Nanami: That's just how it will be! [laughs gleefully] But...
[Suddenly collapses to her knees on the table, dropping the books,
with tears streaming down her face] Not one book in the Kiryuu
library has a recipe for poutine!

[Fade out, and fade in to...]

[...a gravy and cheese curd soaked french fry. A drop of gravy falls 
off. Cut to the drop falling onto Chu-Chu (much to his annoyance), 
who was munching on a cracker in the lap of the person holding the 
fry, namely:]

Utena: Poutine?

[Utena and Anthy are sitting under a random tree at Ohtori, where 
Utena, Anthy and Wakaba are having lunch. Anthy has brought her 
beautiful lacquered lunch box, full of gravy-soaked French fries 
covered in melted cheese curds.]

Anthy [all smiles as always]: Yes. I thought it might be fun to try
something different.

Wakaba [peering at the fry suspiciously]: That's gotta be bad for 
you. [glomps onto Utena] Utena darling, you can't eat that! It'll 
ruin your figure!

Utena [ironically]: Let me guess, you prepared me a beautiful 
Japanese lunch and I gotta eat it or you'll just die, right? 

Wakaba [surprised]: How'd you know?

Anthy [suddenly concerned]: Oh, I'm sorry! Should I have made 
takoyaki instead?

Utena [laughs nervously]: Heheh...uh, no, that's okay, Anthy...long 
as it ain't shaved ice, I'm happy...

Anthy [titters]: My, Miss Utena, don't be silly! If I had made shaved
ice it would have melted by now! 

Utena: Yeah, that's probably the only reason knowing you... [She 
opens her mouth to eat, but suddenly the fry is snatched from her] 
Huh? 

Wakaba [giving Anthy a _really_ suspicious look, and waving the fry 
in her face]: Wait a sec. You sure this is safe?

Anthy: Oh?

Wakaba: Yeah. It's not going to explode and make Utena switch bodies
with Chu-Chu or somethin' is it?

Anthy [beaming again, only a little too broadly now]: You have
absolutely nothing to worry about. [beat] I think.

[Wakaba flings the fry away like it was a poisonous snake and throws
herself onto Utena.]

Wakaba [in tears]: Utena! Don't eat it, I'm telling you! You'll die!

Utena [defeated]: Okay, Wakaba, I will eat your lunch...

Wakaba [jumping up for joy]: YAY!

Anthy: I see...

Utena: Just don't jump on me like that a...huh?

[Anthy has just stood up; she is clutching the lunch box crammed with
poutine to her chest, looking a tad disappointed.]

Anthy: Very well, Miss Utena. As you wish. You are not obliged to eat
it.  [sighs] Though there's far too much for me to eat myself. A
terrible waste really. 

Wakaba [totally unsympathetic]: So get Chu-Chu to help. [opening her
lunch box and picking up rice with chopsticks to feed Utena with]
Utena darling, say "ah!"

[Chu-Chu hasn't waited for permission, and is already attacking the
poutine like a starving man. He looks up at his mistress with a
concerned air, his mouth all gravy and cheese curds.]

Chu-Chu: Chu?

Utena: Anthy, don't start, all right? Nobody said I wouldn't eat it.
Besides, you went to all the trouble of...

Anthy: No, it's all right. It was no trouble at all. [sighs again] I
don't blame you for being apprehensive about eating my cooking, after
all the trouble I caused with the curry. Do you, Chu-Chu? 

[Chu-Chu makes small chus of consolation. Anthy smiles endearingly,
and strokes his head.] 

Anthy: I'm glad you think so. Thank you. You're a good friend, Chu-
Chu.

Utena [stage whisper, to Wakaba]: Wakaba, apologize!

Wakaba [turning up her nose in disdain]: I refuse to apologize for
protecting my boyfriend.

Utena: I am NOT your boyfriend!

Anthy: I am afraid I must be off. Miss Utena, enjoy your lunch. What
_am_ I going to do with all this, I wonder... 

[She turns to go, only to find behind her...]

Miki: Himemiya! That looks delicious! What is it?

Anthy [all smiles again]: Ah, Miki, what a pleasant surprise! This is
called poutine. It's French fries with gravy and cheese curds. Would
you like some?  Have as much as you like. Miss Utena won't be having
any.

Utena: HEY! That's my lunch!

Wakaba [horrified]: Miki, no!

[Miki takes the lunch box and digs in, a beatific smile on his face.]

Miki: It's delicious! The taste of potato, gravy and cheese combined
in ideal proportions so as to transport a diner to paradise! 

[He munches some more, as Anthy looks on endearingly. A few moments
pass.]

Utena [gives Miki a dirty look]: Kissup.

Wakaba [finally]: Oh. Guess it was harmless after all.

Miki [eyes glittering shoujo manga style]: Himemiya, may I please 
have the recipe? I'd love to eat your poutine every day...!

Wakaba [to herself]: I dunno, sounds pretty perverse to me...[takes a
sip of tea]

Anthy: If Miss Utena says it's all right...

Utena [flippantly]: Hey, I don't mind, as long as you save some for
me...

[Wakaba spits out the tea very loudly, starts to laugh
uncontrollably.]

Utena [irritated]: Now what?

Anthy [inspecting the poutine supply]: Hm. I really did make far too
much. Miki, do you think Miss Arisugawa would like some of Utena's
poutine as well?

Miki [completely missing the joke]: Oh yes, definitely!

[Wakaba is now rolling on the ground like a madwoman, gasping for
air.]

Miki [confused]: What did I say?

[Meanwhile Nanami is sitting under another tree, being ceremoniously
served lunch by Tsuwabuki while reading Natalie Savage Carlson's _The
Talking Cat and Other Stories of French Canada_. Some joker has
affixed a sticker of Luna from _Sailor Moon_ on the cover.]

Nanami [a bit concerned]: Nothing in here either...

Tsuwabuki: Your lunch, Miss Nanami. After lunch is English with Mr.
Onsen-Mark...

Nanami: Tsuwabuki!

Tsuwabuki [snapping to attention]: Yes, Miss Nanami!

Nanami: Do you know how to make poutine?

Tsuwabuki: Um...no, Miss Nanami, why?

Nanami: Oh. Well, do you know who might?

Tsuwabuki: Um...no. Sorry. I don't even know what poutine is. [throws
himself at her feet] Miss Nanami, I've failed you! Don't hate me,
please!

Nanami [smiles tenderly, strokes his hair]: Oh, Tsuwabuki, it's all
right. I only hate people for good reasons.

Tsuwabuki [tears of joy]: Oh, thank you, Miss Nanami!

Nanami: Oh yes, while we're on the subject, did you ever get rid of
that Marie girl?

Tsuwabuki [sweatdropping]: Um...so what sort of a dish is it anyway?

Nanami: Hm...to my best recollection it was fries with gravy and
cheese curds. It's a Quebecois dish.

Tsuwabuki: A what dish?

Nanami: A dish from Quebec. In Canada.

Tsuwabuki: Oh. 

[He sits and thinks in dramatic anime fashion. Suddenly a flash of
inspiration.] 

Tsuwabuki: Oh! Wait! Marie's mom is from Quebec City! She has a big
blue and white flag hanging up in her room in the dorm...[covers his
mouth] Oops!

Nanami: Superb! I'll ask...

[She stops herself, and suddenly grabs Tsuwabuki by the shoulders. 
She picks him up and begins to shake him, her face a fearsome mask of
rage.] 

Nanami [in a terrifying voice]: And what [shake] pray tell [shake]
were you doing [shake] _there_?

Tsuwabuki [suitably terrified]: Oh feathers! I'm sorry, Miss Nanami!
Don't kill me! 

[Wakaba, who chooses that moment to burst out laughing so hard she 
can be heard loud and clear from Nanami's tree, probably saves 
Tsuwabuki's life.]

Utena [off, from her side of the lawn]: What the hell is with you
today, huh?

Wakaba [off; stopping her laughter momentarily]: ...Julie Arisugawa
eating Utena's poutine... [cracks up again] HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Nanami's ears perk up almost visibly.]

Nanami: Poutine?

[She dumps Tsuwabuki on the ground unceremoniously and gives him one
last glare.]

Nanami: I'll deal with you later. [clasps her hands together, sparkly
eyes; dramatic little girl's voice] Oniisama, your little sister is
coming to save you!

[Exit, skipping merrily. Tsuwabuki looks on stunned.]

Tsuwabuki: ...

[On Team Utena's side of the lawn...]

Miki [still confused]: No, really, what did I say that was so funny?

Anthy [deadpan]: I don't know. Perhaps Miss Arisugawa might know...

Utena [suddenly cathcing on]: Wait! NO! Don't ask her! I mean it!

[Nanami wraps her arms around Miki from behind. Miki promptly goes
red. Wakaba, who is still laughing like a hyena, doesn't even 
notice.]

Nanami [sweetly]: Hello, Miki!

Anthy [alarmed]: Oh my! Wakaba's turning blue!

Utena [disgusted]: And what do _you_ want?

Nanami [sweetly]: Nice to see you too, Tenjou. Miki, is she bothering
you?

[Wakaba finally runs out of air; she stops laughing, and recovers
enough to start composing herself.]

Miki: No, I...

Nanami: Anyway, given what a huge noise you were making over here I
couldn't help but overhear something about Utena's poutine...

[Wakaba goes off again.]

Utena [firmly]: Anthy made me some for lunch. That's _all_. [to
Wakaba] Cut that out!

[Nanami looks confused for a moment, then lets go of Miki, covers her
mouth and laughs piercingly like Kodachi Kuno.]

Nanami: OHOHOHOHO! As if I cared about what you get up to with Julie
Arisugawa, though it wouldn't surprise me at all.

Miki: Nanami, what's all this about...?

Nanami [blushing, tittering in fake embarrassment]: Oh, I'd rather 
not say. Ask your sister. She knows _everything_ about that sort of
thing...!

Miki [sweatdrops]: Um...

Nanami: Anyway, I was curious because I actually knew what poutine
was--not being as ignorant as you, of course--because I'd had some
when I went to Montreal as a child and it had been so long since I'd
had any...

Anthy [politely]: Would you like some poutine?

Nanami [overjoyed]: Really? You're serious? After all the horrible
things I've done to you in the past? [clasps Anthy's hands] Oh dear
God, you've no idea how much this means to me!

Utena [confused]: ...'k...

Nanami: I can really have some?

Anthy: If Miss Utena says it's all right...

Utena [throws up her hands]: Fine. Don't leave any for me, see if I
care...

[Wakaba suddenly stops laughing and stands up.]

Wakaba [firmly]: That's right! My lunch is much better than that muck
anyway!

Nanami [cheerfully]: Well, if you say so, I'll take it all!

[She grabs the lunch box with the poutine and runs off. The others
stare after her, except for Anthy, who smiles and waves.]

Anthy [calling after Nanami]: See you later! Don't forget to return
the lunch box!

Wakaba: ...

Utena: Um. Miki, you know Nanami better than I do. What just 
happened?

Miki: I really don't know.

Anthy: Miki?

Miki: Um...yes, Himemiya, what can I do for you?

Anthy: Would you lend me your stopwatch for a moment?

Miki: Of...of course! I'd be honored!

Utena [disgusted]: I think I'm gonna hurl.

Wakaba [concerned]: Oh. You don't want the rest of your lunch, then?

[Nanami runs like the wind towards the school gates and the Kiryuu
house, jumping over bushes and shrubs as she goes. On the way she 
runs into Kozue and her latest beau as they make out behind a bush 
she jumps over...]

Beau: AAAAAA!!!!

Kozue: SHIT! Can't a girl get some privacy around here!?

Nanami: Sorry!

[...as well as straight into the three stooges, who lie in wait on 
the path to the main gate the gate armed with bouquets...]

Suzuki: o/` Je t'aime... 

Yamada: o/` Je t'aime... 

Tanaka: o/` Je t'aime... 

[*POW*]

Nanami: Sorry!

[...and while running through Houou's streets leaps over Akio 
Ohtori's car as he attempts to drive back to work after lunch, 
surprising him so much he loses control and hits a fire hydrant, 
which promptly bursts.]

Akio: [staring helplessly as his wrecked car fills with water] Oh my
God! My insurance!

Nanami: SORRY!

[Finally she makes it to the door of the Kiryuu mansion, out of
breath.]

Nanami [gasping]: Onii...sama...I'm home...[looking down at the
poutine]...I brought you your...poutine...whew. Hm. My, I'm pretty
hungry myself. I never did finish lunch, did I? 

[Back at the field, Anthy is holding the stopwatch, a wicked glint in
her eye.]

Anthy: Trois...

[Cut back to the Kiryuu mansion]

Nanami: I should probably have some first to see if it's up to my
brother's standard... 

[Field]

Anthy: Deux...

[Mansion]

Nanami [picking up a fry]: The proof of the pudding, et cetera...

[Field]

Anthy: Un...

[Mansion]

[Nanami pops the fry in her mouth.]

[*CLICK*]

[*BOOM*]

[The noise from the explosion at Villa Kiryuu is loud enough to be
heard at Ohtori Academy. The house also just happens to be in the 
line of sight of Team Utena in their particular part of the campus.]

Utena: Oh, God, no...

Anthy [all smiles]: Oh dear. Did I do that?

Utena: I thought you said it was safe!

Anthy: Miss Utena, I said you had absolutely nothing to worry about. 
I never said a word about anybody else.

[Back at the mansion, Nanami lies passed out, covered in French fries
and gravy.]

[Inside Touga doesn't appear to notice anything has happened for a
moment.  "Largo" continues to play in the background.  Then suddenly
he quietly rises, goes to the gramophone and removes the Dvorak
record. He puts it back the the rest of the collection and digs
through the other records, as if searching.]

Touga: Ah. Here we are. This should be appropriate.

[He seems to find what he's looking for at last. He pulls out an LP,
puts it on the gramophone and returns to his seat.  It turns out to 
be a record of Quebecois folk music.]

Gramophone: o/` Mon pays ce n'est pas un pays, 
            o/` C'est l'hiver...

[Outside the mansion. Nanami comes to.]

Nanami: Qu'est-ce qui s'est pass�?

[She looks down at her yellow uniform, covered in gravy and cheese.]

Nanami: Quel horreur! _Jaune_? Quel couleur...anglo!

[Nanami puts her hand to her forehead and swoons. Fade out.]

[Darkness.]

Multiple Voices [overlapping]: Did you hear... did you hear the
news... Acting Student Council President Nanami Kiryuu... in an
accident... 

[Fade in to a hospital bed, with Nanami lying in. Close up on her
sleeping face. Her eyes open. Simultaneous with that is the sound of
a book being closed. Pan back, to reveal Tsuwabuki rising from a 
chair beside the bed, a concerned expression on his face and his 
notebook under one arm.]

Tsuwabuki: Miss Nanami...

Nanami: Quoi?

Tsuwabuki [confused]: What?

Nanami [annoyed]: Quoi?

Tsuwabuki [more confused]: What?

Nanami: Parle en fran�ais! Fran�ais!

Tsuwabuki [near tears]: What?

[Fade out to the Student Council's balcony, with Julie and Miki
sitting at the table. Both are wearing large Mexican sombreros.]

Julie: My sources tell me that Nanami is recovering nicely.

Miki: Mine say that she'll be back at school by tomorrow.

[Their eyes meet briefly, shaded rather ominously by their hat brims]

Julie [darkly]: So...

Miki [sadly]: So...

Julie: Do _you_ remember which of us gets to be Acting President 
until she gets back?

Miki [hanging his head]: No. Do you?

Julie [also hanging her head]: No. Shall we check the conduct manual?

Miki: Why don't we just janken for it?

Julie [extremely serious]: That will do.

[Cut to a shot of Miki's lightly clenched fist hitting the table
once.]

Miki's Voice: Jan.

[Cut to a shot of Julie's fist doing the same.]

Julie's Voice: Ken.

[Cut to a diagonal split-screen shot of both their fists hitting the
table]

Julie and Miki's Voices: PON!

Saionji's Voice: Hold it!

[Cut to Saionji, standing in the entrance to the balcony. He is
wearing a green fez.]

Saionji: As the Vice-President, I am the one destined to take over
while the Proxy President is incapacitated. [smirks] Any problems 
with that?

[Cut back to Julie and Miki. They're now wearing fezs as well.]

Julie [disdainfully]: None.

Miki [also disdainfully]: None.

[Saionji strides over and sits down at the table. His fez threatens 
to slip off, and he adjusts it.]

Saionji: First order of business. I don't think there are enough
posters of my face around the school.

Miki [somewhat interested]: Will Miss Julie and I get posters of our
faces too?

Saionji: No.

Nanami's Voice: Halte!

[Camera swings back at high speed from the table, leaving the three
Council members distant figures gathered around a table. They all 
look up. Even at this distance, it's easy to see the shock on their 
faces.]

Miki: Nanami...

[Cut to a shot of Nanami's feet, clad in white high-heeled boots, and 
framed by spinning fleurs-de-lis. Pan up, slowly, revealing that 
Nanami is basically wearing her Council uniform in different colours: 
what was black is now white, what was yellow is now blue. And a white
fleur-de-lis is emblazoned on her chest.]

[Cut back to the shocked faces of Miki, Julie and Saionji, who are 
now wearing blue berets.]

Julie: Nanami...

[Cut back to Nanami's face, with a tiny smile on it. Pan out to 
reveal that her hair has been bleached almost chalk-white.]

[Cut back to Saionji's face, eyes wide with disbelief.]

Saionji: Nanami...

[Cut to full-body view of Nanami, resplendent in her new uniform.]

Nanami: Oui?

[Fade out. Fade into a view of the front of Ohtori. Zoom in to a view
of the OHTORI ACADEMY kanji on the wall; close-up of the kanji for
ACADEMY. Scroll backwards, over the OHTORI kanji, to the familiar 
rose crest--which has disappeared, covered by a hastily-applied blue 
poster with a white fleur-de-lis on it. Underneath for good measure 
is another hastily applied poster, with the French text �COLE PHOENIX 
in very large Roman characters. Cut to the rose atop the gate, to 
which the same has been done. Cut to a medley of shots of places 
where the rose crest (or any sort of rose-themed design at all) was; 
all of them have fleur-de-lys posters papered over them. As these 
shots come onto the screen, we hear Nanami speaking.]

Nanami [VO]: As you are all barbarians and can't understand the 
mother tongue, I've deigned to speak in a language you can comprehend 
merely for purposes of putting in place the necessary improvements to 
this academy. First of all, the roses have to go; their association 
with British imperialism is far too great.

[As she finishes speaking, there is a final shot of the Dueling Arena
gate, almost completely obscured by overlapping fleur-de-lis 
posters.]

Nanami [VO]: Secondly, all classes from this day forth are French 
immersion. I want every student of l��cole Phoenix to be fluent in 
the mother tongue as soon as possible.

Miki [VO]: Hey, Nanami, since this is Japan, our mother tongue _is_
technically...

Nanami [VO]: Silence!

[Cut to a shot of a classroom. The students are bent over their 
books. Some look near tears. The teacher stands at the front, openly
weeping.]

Teacher [half-choked by grief]: Classe... attention... [struggling]
s'il vous pla�t. Aujourd'hui... [almost unable to speak, but finally
manages] "L�histoire de Genji."

[Cut to a shot of a chemistry lab. The teacher is sweating while
flipping through a large Japanese/French dictionary.]

Teacher: Cautionner... il est... explosion... [beat] no, wait, that's
not... does anyone know the adjective form of...

[Pan out to show the students thumbing through Japanese/French
dictionaries while trying to complete their lab experiments. 
Suddenly, the door to the classroom bursts open, and Suzuki, Yamada 
and Tanaka enter, wearing blue and white sashes over their regular 
uniforms. They grab the teacher and march him from the room.]

Teacher [pleading]: No... you don't understand... I don't... NO! NO! 
Don't make me go back there--I've already been there twice. I'll be
good! I'll be good... listen! Listen! I love French! [singing off-
key] Fr�re Jaques, Fr�re Jaques, dorm� v�? dorm� v�... [he is removed 
from the classroom and his voice fades away.]

[The students look at each other.]

Student #1: Say, is that supposed to be bubbling like that?

Student #2: Haven't the foggiest. I couldn't understand a word he was
saying.

[Fade out to the sounds of an explosion. Fade in to the Council's
balcony, with Nanami speaking to Saionji, Julie and Miki.]

Nanami: Finally, as far as the more... unorthodox activities of this
Council are concerned, there will also be some changes. Our goal is 
no longer Revolution.

[Rapid shots of the shocked faces of the other Council members.]

Nanami: Instead, we shall seek... Sovereignty-Association!

Julie [numbly]: Sovereignty...

Miki [also numbly]: ...association.

Saionji [confused]: What does that mean?

Nanami: Well... you see, that's where we as a school enter into a
sovereignty-association.

Julie: Nanami... please, just give us a precise definition.

Miki: And isn't the idea of "sovereignty-association" a bit
paradoxical?

Nanami [smugly]: Can someone please give me a precise definition of
just what we all meant by "Revolution"?

[Julie and Miki hang their heads.]

Julie: You have a point.

Nanami: Oh, and finally, I'm tripling the fencing club's budget.

[Julie and Miki perk up suddenly.]

Nanami: Fencing is a very French activity.

Saionji: What about the kendo club?

Nanami: Well, actually, I was just about to get to that... you see, 
we don't actually have any more money in the budget than we did, and
kendo isn't very French at all, so, in order to provide the funds for
the fencing club...

[Saionji rises and slams his hands down on the table.]

Saionji [furious]: I won't stand for this--the kendo club has a long
and proud history at Ohtori. Don't expect to see my face here again
until our budget is restored! I'm leaving!

[Turns and strides towards the exit. Julie and Miki, conversing with
heads bent low, don't even seem to notice him going.]

Julie: Let's buy some of those really fancy foils.

Miki: Ooh, the ones with the gold buttons on the tips?

[Nanami begins to file her nails, as Saionji pauses at the exit.]

Saionji [loudly]: I said, I'm leaving.

Julie, Miki, Nanami [simultaneously]: Fine.

[Saionji looks wounded for a moment, then turns on his heel and
departs.]

Julie: Good riddance.

Miki [looking through a catalog produced from somewhere]: Ooooh, Miss 
Julie, can I get a monogrammed uniform?

[Cut to a close-up of Nanami's smiling face.]

Nanami [softly, very pleased]: Excellent. [Fade out]

[Camera up--bordered by fleurs-de-lis--on a blackboard reading in
large letters in French:]

27 JUIN
LES PLATS DU JOUR
POULET FRIT AU SUD--600 yen
HAMBOURGEOIS--550 yen
aux frites--600 yen
POUTINE--350 yen

[Underneath is written what is possibly a translation in Japanese.
It's hard to say; the writing's too small to read.]

Utena [off]: So when's Tatsuya getting out of the hospital?

Wakaba [off; disappointed]: Only about a week.

[Cut to Utena, Anthy, Wakaba and Chu-Chu in the �cole Phoenix/Ohtori 
Academy cafeteria, where they have decided to eat in (a few days have 
passed since the poutine incident). Chu-Chu is munching on a 
croissant.]

Anthy [all smiles again]: Well, that's good to hear. How's your
chicken, Miss Utena?

[Utena puts down the piece of _poulet frit au sud_--i.e., Southern
fried chicken--she has been munching on.]

Utena [sarcastically]: Oh, tr�s bon, c'est tr�s, tr�s bon. 
[disgusted] This is all your fault, I hope you know.

Wakaba [giggling]: I think it's kinda fun myself. [munches on a
burger] This "hambourgeois" is delish!

Utena: Yeah, well you weren't the one who had to paint a new sign all
by herself for the East Dorm--oh, I'm sorry, "R�sidence Est"--just so
Nanami's goons would leave us alone...

Anthy [apparently a little hurt]: Miss Utena, not that it matters, 
but I made a point of painting a new sign myself, without waiting for 
you to ask.

Utena: Look, you, were you trying to get us in trouble?

[Anthy deliberately closes and puts down her copy of _Histoire de
Babar le petit �l�phant_.]

Anthy [subtly catty in the way only she is capable of--and mind you
it would be quite tricky]: I haven't a clue what Keiko got so upset
about. The new regulation says that all signs must either be all in
French, or that if they do contain Japanese they must contain French 
text twice the size of the Japanese text. I made a point of following 
the regulation to the letter.

Utena: They are _supposed_ to say the same _thing_!

Anthy: That wasn't in the regulation text. Besides, some things are
always lost in translation...

Utena: What, you thought a big sign saying "Nanami est un vache"
wasn't going to make Keiko blow a fuse!?

Anthy [endearingly]: Now, Miss Utena, don't you remember my cow
Nanami?

Utena [pulling at her hair]: Somebody shoot me...!

Wakaba: Y'know, I really don't see the problem. We can talk in
Japanese all we like outside of class, and just because the French
signs have to be bigger than the Japanese signs doesn't mean we can't
read the Japanese signs like we did before. I think you're worrying
about it too much.

Utena: There's no _need_ for _any_ French signs at _all...!

Nanami: Au contraire!

[Utena turns to see Nanami and Tsuwabuki behind her.  Naturally the
shot of Nanami is framed by fleurs-de-lis itself.]

Nanami: Tenjou, you do not understand the fragility of la culture 
phoenixienne! It must be promoted whenever possible!

Utena [burying head in hands]: Oh God...

Nanami: To have such prominent Japanese text was the maximum
concession I could make to ignorants like you. You should be 
grateful.

Utena: Oh, yeah, I'm in heaven. Say, Nanami, what say you let the
teachers lecture in Japanese again...

Nanami [firmly]: Impossible.

Utena: ...except, they have to talk twice as loudly in French as they
do in Japanese. So even dumbasses like me can understand, but if they
get out of control and talk in Japanese above a whisper they get
what's coming to them. [smiles artificially] So everybody's happy.

Nanami [thoughtful]: Ah oui...why didn't I think of that? I'll bring
it up at the next council meeting.

Utena: Um, Nanami, I was kidding. You know? Joke? Whatsit...

Anthy [helpfully]: Plaisanterie.

Utena: ...thanks... Plaisanterie? Ha ha ha? [the penny drops] Council
meeting? You mean Julie and Miki agreed to this? 

Nanami: Oui. Why do you ask?

[Cut to the gym where Julie and Miki are trying out their new foils.
As usual, Miki is beaten.]

Miki [taking off his mask]: You win again. 

Julie [taking off hers, her hair flowing out movie-style]: Only just.
I've never seen you in such fine form.

Miki: Has to be the monogrammed uniform. Isn't it just to die for?

Julie: Isn't it, though?

Miki: You know, if Nanami has given up the cause of revolution, 
should we be letting her cause this much chaos?

[Suddenly he has Julie's new foil at his throat.]

Julie [coldly]: If I have to part with this foil, Cyrano de Bergerac
may forgive you, but I will not...

Miki [gulps loudly]: Okay... 

[Cafeteria]

Wakaba [perking up, smiling; pulls out a chair for Nanami]: Say,
Nanami, your new uniform's a trip. Where can I get one? 

Anthy: Bonjour, Nanami.

Nanami [graciously sitting down]: Et bonjour � vous, Himemiya. So how
is everyone's lunch?

Utena: Oh, fine, fine. I'm just lucky I was able to order any. It's
kinda hard when you don't know what the hell the lunch lady's talking
about...I mean, "hambourgeois?"

Nanami: That is what you barbarians call a hamburger, ignorante.

Utena: I know that.

Nanami: Impressionant, n'est-ce pas? The cafeteria staff took much
less time than I'd thought they would to get used to greeting and
serving the students of la belle �cole in the mother tongue.

Utena: Yeah, I'm sure it helped you had the three stooges breathing
down their necks the entire time.

Wakaba: Say, Tsuwabuki, you want a seat?

Tsuwabuki: Ce ne sera pas necessaire, mademoiselle. [ceremoniously
hands Anthy back her lunch box] Mlle. Nanami vous remercie de
la poutine.

Anthy [smiling endearingly]: Ah, de rien, de rien! Tu parles bien
fran�ais!

Tsuwabuki [blushing a bit, hand behind head]: Merci. Pour devenir son
fr�re a�n�, Mlle. Nanami m'a dit qu'il faut apprendre � parler
parfaitement la langue maternelle. 

Utena: Huh?

Anthy [translating]: Tsuwabuki just thanked me for the poutine. I 
mentionned his French was very good. He replied that if he wanted to 
become Nanami's big brother he had to learn to speak the mother 
tongue. Or so Nanami said.

Utena: ...'k...well, that's as good a motivation as any, I guess...

Nanami: There, you see? If Tsuwabuki or even a weirdo like Anth�e 
Himemiya can manage it, why can't you? [to Tsuwabuki] Merci, 
Tsuwabuki. You may go now. 

Tsuwabuki: Merci, mademoiselle. [exits]

Anthy [looking in the box]: She could have washed it just the same...

Utena [exasperated]: Look, Nanami, do we really have to put up with
this bull? Nobody at this school even speaks French! Except the
French teachers, of course, and, well...

Nanami [begins to start into a speech]: I told you. We have a duty to
preserve the unique French cultural heritage that sets l'�cole 
Phoenix apart from the rest of Japan...

Utena: What French cultural heritage? This is a Japanese school!
Always has been!

Nanami: Do you not remember from the history of the school you were
given when you enrolled here that the school was founded by the
Sisters of St. Jean-Baptiste from Montr�al in 1946?

Wakaba: [munching on the last bite of food] She's right you know.
[rises] I'm going for seconds. Be right back. [exits]

Utena: And what's with this "�cole Phoenix" crap?

Nanami: Mais, that is the proper French name of our school.

Utena: Nobody ever called it that! Not even the nuns!

Nanami [sniffs]: Well, I can't help it if some people don't value
their own culture.

Utena [suddenly standing, getting in Nanami's face looking positively
murderous]: Now look here!

Nanami [yelling back at her]: Assisez-vous!

Anthy: Non, Nanami, c'est "asseyez-vous." "Assisez-vous," c'est un 
qu�becisme.

Utena: What?

Anthy [in full idiot savant mode]: Mlle. Nanami asked you to sit 
down. However, she used not the proper conjugation, but a non-
standard one used only in Quebec. [beat] This is probably a side 
effect of the distinct cultural background of poutine.

Utena [smirks at Nanami]: Poser.

Nanami [livid]: What would a weirdo like you know about it!?

Anthy [thoughtful]: Perhaps I should have made croissants for lunch
the other day instead...

[Keiko suddenly shows up, looking rather spooked]

Keiko: Mademoiselle! Venez vite!

Utena [leafing through a dictionary]: "Come quick?" Why, what's
happened this time? Somebody speak in a manner which the listener can
understand?

Nanami: I must go, Tenjou. [rises to go] Your proposal for language 
volume regulations will be taken into due consideration. Au revoir.

Utena: Yeah, good riddance.

Nanami [narrow eyes]: Pardon?

[Utena leafs through the dictionary again a moment, then motions to
Nanami to come closer. She approaches Nanami as if she were about to
whisper, and then:]

Utena [at the top of her lungs]: BON D�BARRAS!

[Nanami covers her battered ear, gives Utena a last scowl, and exits.
Utena sits back down.]

Utena [sighs, burys head in hands again]: No prince is worth this...

Anthy: If you say so, Miss Utena.

Utena [deciding to change the subject]: So like, when's Akio's car
gonna be fixed?

[Chu-Chu has finished his croissant, and has decided to take a nap.]

Anthy: They're not sure. It's a very special model, so spare parts 
are hard to obtain. He was very upset about the whole business...

[A sob comes from behind her; she turns to see:]

Wakaba [in tears]: Utena...Saionji...he...

Utena: Huh? Wakaba? [rises to meet her, takes her by the shoulders]
What's wrong? What did Saionji do?

Wakaba: He...I...well...um...you know how he was, like, expelled, and
stuff?

Utena: Yeah?

Wakaba: Well, he begged me to let him stay with me for a few 
days...and I guess a few days turned into a few weeks and...

Utena: Well, that explains where he...wait. You didn't...

Wakaba: No, but...for a while I thought he really liked me, 
but...after he got back into school it was like he didn't like me any 
more, so I wrote him a letter asking him what I did and...[breaks 
down]

Utena: What?

Wakaba: I can't say it!

Anthy [looking rather ashamed]: Um...

Utena [the penny drops]: Oh shit, not again...Anthy, we gotta go. 
I'll see you back at the dorm. Wakaba, come on. 

[Exeunt. Anthy returns to her book.]

Anthy [to herself, softly]:

o/` Plaisir d'amour n'endure qu'un moment,
o/` Chagrin d'amour endure toute la vie...

[Cut to a bulletin board where several students are gathered around
Wakaba's billet doux.]

Student: "Since you abandoned me, Saionji, it's like there's an
enormous gap in my soul..." Oh Jesus Christ, it's the same 
handwriting as before! Damn, is this one dumb chick or what?

[General laughter, derision. Enter Wakaba with Utena, who sees what
they're looking at immediately.]

Utena [clearly beginning to simmer]: That's it. I'm going to kill 
him. I swear I'll kill him! Give me that! [rips the letter off the 
board] Bastards, what are you looking at? Get out of here! Come on, 
Wakaba, he's going down and you're going to help me send him there! 
[starts to drag Wakaba in the general direction of the kendo 
building]

Wakaba: Are you going to duel with Saionji again?

Utena: No, I'm going to rip his head off with my bare hands and shove
it up his--

[A hand snatches the letter off Utena.]

Utena: Huh?

[The hand is Keiko's. Nanami is there with Tsuwabuki, her three goons
Keiko, Aiko and Yuuko, and the three stooges Suzuki, Yamada and 
Tanaka.]

Keiko: That letter is evidence!

Nanami: Now, now, now, we can't leave this sort of thing to
vigilantes, Tenjou. Mlle. Shinohara, you said Saionji posted this?

Wakaba: Um...yes...

Nanami [softly]: Don't worry. Leave it to me. I'll see all the power
of l'�cole Phoenix is brought against him for this outrage.

Wakaba [overjoyed]: Oh, Nanami! Thank you!

Utena: Um, Nanami, that's nice of you, but there's really no need
to...

Nanami: Mais, such an act, by such a high-ranking member of our
student body, is no longer just the business of yourself and Mlle.
Shinohara, but of all of l'�cole Phoenix! Come with me. I need
witnesses.

[Team Nanami leads the way to the kendo building, with Utena and
Wakaba in tow.]

Utena: Well. I guess Nanami isn't so bad after all, huh, Wakaba?
[beat] Wakaba?

Wakaba [sparkly eyes]: Oh, Nanami...

Utena: Um, Wakaba?

Wakaba [in rapture]: I'm in love!...

Utena: WAKABA!

Wakaba: Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot you were there. You may go now.

Utena: What is it with you and Nanami today? What, am I not cool
enough all of a sudden? 

Wakaba: It's the uniform. Girls dig the uniform. I mean, yours is 
_so_ yesterday.

Utena [a bit concerned, inspecting it]: What, you think so?

[Inside the kendo practice hall. Saionji is practicing as usual. The
door slams open, at first out of our line of sight.]

[Shot of Saionji in profile.]

Saionji: Miss Acting President, school regulations clearly state that
the kendo club is permitted use of this facility until the end of the
semester, despite the fact we no longer receive Academy funding.

[A hand shoves the letter towards the back of his head.]

Nanami [for it is she]: What is the meaning of this?

Saionji: It means that while I live you are not converting this room
into office space for your gang of troublemaking harpies.

[Camera on Nanami and her gang, who have entered the hall. Utena and
Wakaba are standing in the door.]

Keiko: That�s l'Office de la langue fran�aise de l'�cole Phoenix,
idiot!

Nanami: Non! I mean what are you playing at by posting this on a
public notice board, Monsieur le Vice-Pr�sident?

Saionji: [turning to see] What do you mean...oh...

[He sees the letter, then Wakaba looking heartbroken, then Utena
looking really angry, then back at Nanami and Keiko looking angry as
well.]

Nanami: Mlles. Tenjou and Shinohara are my witnesses. Normally I 
would have left it to my subordinates, but in the case of such a 
prominent person as yourself I would have felt negligent if I did not 
see justice served myself. 

Keiko: It's a good thing Monsieur le Pr�sident is not here. I shudder
to think how he might have reacted to such an outrage as this...

Saionji [to himself]: It was Touga's idea the first time around...

Nanami: Quoi?

Saionji [aloud]: Fine! Fine! Do you want me to apologize? I'll
apologize! [bows dramatically; obviously not sorry] I'm sorry! There,
satisfied?

Nanami: Oh no, you don't! Apologizing won't save you for such a
heinous act! No, you will face the full consequences of your actions!
>From you, a member of the Student Council, violation of a regulation
passed by the Council is nothing short of treason! 

Utena: Well. Thank God for that. Should have been done long ago...

Nanami: And so, in the name of the Student Council I decree that for
his violation of the sign law of 24 juin Kyouichi Saionji be relieved
of his post and administered the maximum penalty the law allows!

[Dead silence. A few crickets are heard chirping.]

[Utena and Wakaba just stand there looking like stunned fish.]

Utena: ...

Wakaba: The...sign law?

Nanami: Oui! Posting this letter is a clear violation of regulations!
There's not a word of French in the whole thing! Rene Levesque may
forgive him, but I will not!

Wakaba: [starting to tear up] 'k...

Nanami: Why, what did you think I was so upset about?

Wakaba [throws herself into Utena's arms, wailing]: WAAAAAA! Utena,
I'm so sorry! I'll never betray you again!

Utena: ...

Saionji [snatching the letter off Nanami, leafs through it
desperately]: Wait, wait, I'm sure there's some French in here
somewhere...oh, here we are! The salutation! "Cher Saionji!" There we
go, that's French, right?

Keiko: Written in katakana. That doesn�t count.

Saionji: Nanami, this is a set up and you know it! You can't do this!
I'll have the Chairman on you! I'll...I'll tell your brother and 
he'll be very angry, see if he's not! I'll...

[Aiko walks over to Utena and Wakaba, holding two fleur-de-lis pins 
as an offering.]

Aiko: Thank you for your help in preserving the cultural heritage of
l'�cole Phoenix. Please accept these pins as tokens of our gratitude.
We'll take it from here.

Wakaba: WAAAAA!

Utena [still stunned]: ...

Nanami [to Suzuki, Yamada and Tanaka]: Take him away.

[Suzuki, Yamada and Tanaka start to drag Saionji off to his doom.]

Saionji: Utena Tenjou!

Utena [snaps out of it]: Y...yes?

Saionji: You are the one engaged. Only you can stop Nanami now. No
matter what, do not let her achieve...sovereignty-association!

[The three stooges drag him away.]

Utena [shocked]: Sovereignty-association...!

Wakaba: Utena, I don't understand. What's sovereignty-association?

Nanami [dusting her hands off]: Well, so much for him. 
Mesdemoiselles, you may move in right away.

Keiko, Aiko, Yuuko [cheering in French]: Hourra!

Utena: I really don't know. Nanami, what's this
sovereignty-association business?

Nanami: Oh, that! Simple. Instead of starting revolution--with all
the messiness that involves--I simply want to achieve
sovereignty-association. In a democratic society--

Utena: No, really, what is it? I've read all the brochures you and
your pals have printed. I still don't understand. What _is_
sovereignty-association?

Nanami [with an ominous smirk]: Oh, I think you'll find out soon
enough, Utena Tenjou. [doing the Kodachi again] OHOHOHOHOHO!

Wakaba [a bit scared]: Utena...

Utena [suspiciously]: Let's just move on, Wakaba. 

[They depart, leaving Nanami laughing and her henchwomen running
around the kendo hall and making plans for where the furniture will
go.]

Wakaba [tugging on Utena's sleeve]: Utena, what did Saionji mean when
he said that you were "the one engaged"? [suddenly, she scowls] Are
you cheating on me? You are, aren't you? Aren't you?

Utena [sweating]: Hey, who knows, it's Saionji. He's a little...
[circles her ear with her index finger]

Wakaba [putting her nose in the air]: Fine. Be that way. Hmph.

Utena: Ahh, Wakaba, don't be like that.

Wakaba [sadly]: Only one thing will prove you're still devoted to me, 
Utena...

Utena [nervous]: Ahh... what?

Wakaba [gleefully]: A piggyback! [leaps onto Utena's back. Utena
staggers, takes a deep breath, and manages to remain upright.]

Utena [muttered]: Should've known... 

[They walk off into the distance, heading over a hill towards the
sunset, as the scene fades.]

[Fade into Anthy and Utena's room. Late evening. Moonlight on the
floor. Shot of Utena, lying on the top bunk, hands behind her head.]

Utena: Hey Anthy, what do you think Nanami means by 'sovereignty-
association'?

[Cut to Anthy, lying on her side on the bottom bunk, Chu-Chu cuddled
asleep beside her.]

Anthy: Actually, Miss Utena, I...

[Back to Utena.]

Utena: What?

[Back to Anthy.]

Anthy: I haven't the slightest idea, Miss Utena. 

[Back to Utena, who has just facefaulted in her bed. After she
composes herself:]

Utena: Hey, if the Student Council is seeking sovereignty-association 
instead of Revolution, do you think maybe that means they're not 
going
to want the Rose Bride any more?

[Back to Anthy.]

Anthy: I really don't know. I suppose it could all be some elaborate
plot on Nanami's part to somehow draw out those mysterious
manipulators from the shadows who manipulate ordinary students into
fighting duels.

[Utena.]

Utena: Those manipulative bastards!

[Anthy.]

Anthy: I did hear that she's doing something at Nemuro Hall that's 
disrupted Mr. Mikage's seminars. 

[Utena.]

Utena [murmured]: "Only you can stop Nanami now..." What did he mean
by that?

Anthy: What's that, Miss Utena?

Utena: Nothing. Good night, Anthy.

Anthy: Good night, Miss Utena.

[Fade out. Fade in to Mikage and Mamiya's underground chamber. 
They're looking, as usual, at a black rose in a glass case.]

Mamiya: Hey, look, we're down to the last black rose.

Mikage [darkly]: Until we regain control of Nemuro Hall...

Mamiya: Isn't it �difice Nemuro Memorial now?

Mikage: [frutstrated] Fine!...until we get control back from that 
lunatic Kiryuu woman, it won't matter. She's commandeered the 
elevator for something sinister and disturbing.

Mamiya: Can she do that?

Mikage: Nemuro Memorial Hall--or whatever the hell they call it these
days--and its programs are technically under the dominion of the
Student Council. Only tradition has left us with a great deal of
autonomy. [beat] We are still technically a part of Ohtori, and thus
subservient to the Council.

Mamiya [sadly]: So we are. So long as �difice Nemuro Memorial remains
a part of Phoenix, we are subservient to the Council.

Mikage: Yes.

Mamiya: Yes.

Mikage: Hey, Mamiya, how come I can't leave the basement right now?

Mamiya [paging through the script]: Because Utena Tenjou is supposed
to show up soon to investigate the sinister purposes to which Nanami
has turned �difice Nemuro Memorial, and to have her meet you before
Episode 22 would contradict the canon.

Mikage: I think we just blew the fourth wall straight to hell.

Mamiya [nonchalantly]: Yes. [beat] Wanna go get some sodas?

Mikage: Okay.

[They leave. Fade out, fade in to Utena creeping out of the front 
door of R�sidence Est/East Dorm, late evening, the moon bright 
overhead. She's changed out of her pyjamas and back into her usual 
uniform. She walks swiftly up the hill towards the main campus, 
through the gates, and sneaks around the campus (hiding behind trees, 
edging around buildings, looking from left to right constantly, 
crawling through underbrush, etc) towards �difice Nemuro 
Memorial/Nemuro Memorial Hall, where she tiptoes up the stairs to the 
silent, dark doors.]

Utena: Whew. [She wipes a hand across her forehead.]

[The doors open up suddenly, and Aiko and Yuuko are on the other 
side, each with a big smile on her face.]

Aiko: Bonsoir! [She reaches out, grabs Utena by the hands, and drags
her inside.]

Utena: Hey--whoah!

[Inside, it can be seen that Nemuro Memorial Hall has been bedecked
with Quebec flags, which clash with the dark and gloomy decor
something awful.]

Aiko [overjoyed]: It's so good to see you, Mlle. Tenjou; I'm really
glad to see that you came in for a session voluntarily, instead of
having to be summoned. Mlle. Nanami will be so happy.

Utena [confused]: Huh? Session?

Aiko [profusely overjoyed]: Mlle. Nanami has developed a wonderful
technique for transforming the school's students into experts of the
true culture.

Utena [even more confused]: True culture?

Yuuko [excessively overjoyed]: It's really amazing, they go in the 
elevator quoting Basho, and they come out saying "Vive l'�cole
Phoenix!"

Utena [dubious]: Isn't that kinda like brainwashing?

Yuuko [blinking]: Hmm?

Utena [really dubious]: Sounds kinda suspicious to me. And, what, are
you guys keeping this place open 24-7? Don't you need to sleep?

Yuuko [grinning madly]: I'm only on duty until tomorrow morning...
then I'll... then I'll get to sleep... [grin begins to waver] I slept 
yesterday... I think... 

Aiko: [beginning to crack herself] I'm almost certain I slept
yesterday... [whispered] Didn't I?

[Suddenly, as one, Aiko and Yuuko burst into tears and drop to the
ground, hugging Utena's knees.]

Aiko: Oh my God, Tenjou, you've got to do something, you're the only
person we've ever seen stand up to Miss Nanami!

Yuuko: She's gone completely mad, she's going to kill us all! 

Utena: What's she done to you? [kneels down and hugs them]
There, there...um...what are your names again?

Aiko: She made us watch _J�sus de Montr�al_ yesterday!

Utena: Is that all? I heard that was a great movie... [to herself] Or
so Akio says...

Yuuko: Yes, but four times straight?

Utena: Well, yeah, that's overkill...

Aiko: Without subtitles?

Utena: Yes, that would suck...

Yuuko: Strapped down to a chair so I couldn't escape?

Utena [suddenly realizing the gravity of it all]: My God...

Aiko: Shot through with electricity if I showed any signs of
incomprehension? [sobs]

Yuuko: That's not the worst! We had to listen to C�line Dion albums 
on headphones while we slept--the last time we slept, whenever that 
was! 

Aiko [sobbing into Utena's chest]: When I woke up all I could do for 
hours afterwards was sing every damn song on the damn _French Album_, 
pronouncing every single lyric perfectly! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
FRENCH! I took _German_ last year! [babbling] Bratwurst! Autobahn! 
Glockenspiel! 

[Suddenly, Nanami's gloating laughter is heard. Aiko freezes like a
deer caught in headlights, still clinging to Utena like she's the 
only thing keeping her up.]

[Utena turns. At the end of the hallway, Nanami stands, hands on her
hips, Keiko beside her and with Suzuki, Yamada and Tanaka behind her.
The three boys are all wearing Montreal Canadiens hockey jerseys.]

Keiko: See, Mlle. Nanami? I told you they might get rebellious!

Nanami: Tr�s bien, Keiko!

Utena [angry]: Right! Nanami, this has gone far enough--you're acting
like a total lunatic!

Nanami: [enraged]: Lunatic! I'm fighting to preserve my people's
culture!

Utena: You're insane!

[Aiko and Yuuko let out despairing wails and lets Utena's legs go, 
collapsing to the floor.]

Yuuko: Oh, all is lost--all is lost! 

Aiko: We'll be forced to watch that tape of Maurice Richard hockey 
highlights until the end of time!

Utena [aside]: Geez, get a grip.

Keiko: We won't let you destroy our heritage, Utena Tenjou! 
[pointing, snapping at Suzuki, Yamada and Tanaka] Anglais!

Suzuki [charging]: o/` Anglais

Yamada [charging]: o/` Anglais

Tanaka [charging]: o/` Anglais

Utena [smirking]: Hah, right, you think _these_ three are gonna be
able to take me down? [She cracks her knuckles.]

Massed voices: o/` Anglais

[Suddenly, a huge crowd of glaze-eyed students and faculty, all
wearing Montreal Canadiens jerseys, emerge from the shadows behind
Nanami.]

Crowd [charging]: o/` Anglais

Utena: Oh, merde.

Nanami: OHOHOHOHOHO!

[Utena reaches down, grabs Aiko and Yuuko by the hands, and hauls 
them to their feet at a run, as the huge crowd of brainwashed 
students and faculty pursue them down the twisting halls; Aiko and 
Yuuko are being dragged by Utena as much as running under their own 
power.]

Aiko: Miss Tenjou--leave me behind! I'll only slow you down!

Yuuko: Me too! We'll look after each other! You have to escape at any
cost!

Utena [panting, barely keeping ahead of the pursuers]: I can't do
that!

Crowd [gaining]: o/` Anglais

Aiko: You have to--I'll be okay! 

Yuuko: Me too! I can stand the rehabilitation, if it means Nanami's
mad scheme will eventually be stopped!

Utena: No, really, I can't. 

Aiko: You must!

Utena [blinking]: Well, okay, if you're so insistent. 

[She drops them both, and begins to run faster. Aiko and Yuuko are
engulfed by the pursuers. Utena turns a corner. Behind her, the
pounding feet follow.]

Crowd: o/` Anglais

Utena: Geez... they don't give up, do they?

[As she passes a door, it opens, and a large male hand grabs her and
hauls her inside. The screen goes dark, and the sounds of a struggle
are briefly heard, as the feet of her pursuers pound by outside.]

Utena's voice: Hey--hey, get your hands off me!

Saionji's voice [with a lacklustre, exhausted, monotone quality to
it]: Be quiet, Utena Tenjou.

Utena's voice: S-Saionji?

[Suddenly, a penlight clicks on, revealing Saionji's face roughly
three inches from Utena's. The two of them are inside what appears to
be a broom closet. A very cramped broom closet.]

Saionji: While you are no doubt wondering why I have dragged you into
this broom closet, let me assure you it was purely out of concern for
your welfare. Had Nanami's brainwashed horde caught you, all would
have been lost.

Utena: Since when have you been concerned for my welfare?

Saionji: Since Nanami's insanity robbed the kendo team of its 
funding. You are the Engaged One, Utena--only you can stop Nanami. 

Utena: Hey, what are you doing in this broom closet, anyway?

Saionji [hanging his head]: Hiding. I've already undergone Nanami's
"treatment" twice since you last saw me--only my love for Anthy
allowed me to endure. That, and the cotton balls I stuffed into my
ears after they put me in the elevator.

Utena: The elevator?

Saionji [shell-shocked]: They put you inside... and music starts to 
play... and you go down... there's a TV screen, and they show you...
they show you... [shaking his head] I can't speak of it. And, at the
end, you get poutine. The poutine is actually pretty good, but the 
rest of it... [shudders]

Utena: Why aren't Miki and Julie doing anything about this?

Saionji: Didn't you hear? Nanami took away the kendo team's budget 
and gave it to them for the fencing team. They've been caught up in
playing with their pretty new toys for the last few days.

Utena: But... they don't know what's going on here, do they? Students
being brainwashed... surely, if they did, they wouldn't let it go on? 
[Resolute and determined] You're still on the Student Council, right? 
You've got to help put a stop to this! Tell them or something...

Saionji: I could, I suppose. Not that they'd listen. In any case I'd 
rather sit here in the closet and huddle into a ball... I can still 
see it when I close my eyes... 

Utena: Look, Saionji, you've got to come out of the closet sooner or
later!

Saionji: I'll come out of the closet when I'm good and ready!  
[Dramatically] I need to be alone! A man must confront these demons
by himself!

Utena: You're going to start crying, aren't you?

Saionji [shamefully]: Yes. 

[Cut to a shot of Utena dragging the sobbing Saionji out of the broom
closet by his hair.]

Utena: Looks like the coast is clear...Okay, Saionji, what's the
quickest way out of here?

Saionji: [still sobbing] Back door's down the corridor, I think.
[continues to blubber]

[Exeunt Utena and Saionji, Utena dragging Saionji all the way. After 
a moment, the door across from the closet opens up, and Mikage pokes 
his head out and looks around to make sure she's gone.]

Mikage: Whew. [sips on a soda]

---

[Cut to the back door of �difice Nemuro Memorial/Nemuro Memorial 
Hall, which opens to let Utena and Saionji out. Utena is still 
dragging Saionji by the hair.]

Saionji: You can let go of my hair now.

Utena: Oh, right.

[She does that. Saionji immediately stands up and looks as suave as
ever.]

Utena: All right, listen. You go to the Student Council meeting and
tell them what you know, and I'll...

Saionji [interrupting]: Utena Tenjou, even if the rest of the Council
were inclined to listen to me under any circumstances, which they
aren't, I have no proof. Even if I had, after all the trouble they've
let Nanami cause, do you have a reason to believe they'll really 
care?

Utena: I'm not done! I was _going_ to say I was going to go to the
Chairman and tell him about all this. He's a good listener...
[getting all starry-eyed]

Saionji: Wait. You've actually seen the Acting Chairman?

Utena [puzzled]: Uh, yeah. Why? Haven't you? Being on the Student
Council and being important and stuff?

Saionji: No. Hardly anybody has. He's almost impossible to get a hold
of.

Utena [puzzled]: 'k. You know, I thought Akio'd be more involved...

Saionji: My dear, do you really think it would have come to this if 
he were? [beat] Wait. Akio?

Utena: Yeah, that's his...

Saionji: Yes! Yes! I mean how well do you know the man?

Utena [hand behind head]: Turns out it's Anthy's brother, actually.

Saionji [looking _very_ worried for his safety now]: Oh. Dear.

Voice: Now, now, Saionji, he doesn't bite.

[Saionji and Utena turn to see Anthy in her school uniform, 
cheerfully sipping a soda a little bit away on the Nemuro lawn.]

Utena: Um. I thought you'd gone to bed long ago.

Anthy: I had. I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk. Would you like some
soda, Miss Utena?

Utena: No thanks...look, your cooking made Nanami like this. Do you
think it could cure her like it did us the last time?

Anthy: Hm. I suppose it could. Though I couldn't possibly predict the 
side effects.

Saionji: Much the way you couldn't predict my soul being switched 
with that...blast it, what is that thing, anyway?

Anthy: Oh, no, Saionji, that was completely deliberate.

Saionji: WHAT!?

Anthy: I thought it'd be fun for him. You have no idea how much
Chu-Chu enjoyed being in charge of the kendo club. It was a shame I
had to switch you two back eventually...

[Saionji grabs Utena by the epaulettes.]

Saionji: Utena Tenjou! What have you been making my Anthy do!?

Utena [sweatdropping]: Nothing, that chick does whatever the heck she
wants. You haven't figured that out? 'Sides, you can't kill me, I'm 
the only one who can stop Nanami, remember?

Saionji: Oh, right. [lets her go] 

Utena: Okay. To cure Nanami, we gotta get her to eat Anthy's poutine
again. I dunno how we're going to do that right now, though. First
things first. We gotta stop all this French crap. Anthy, when does
Akio get to his office in the morning?

[Cut to the elevator leading to la Chambre du Conseil des �leves/ 
Student Council Chamber. Cue the usual ominous music as the shadows 
of Miki, then Julie, then a few others--first Saionji, then Keiko and 
the others, then Tsuwabuki, and then at last Nanami, so that pretty 
soon the elevator is starting to look rather crowded. As they appear 
Nanami and her gang--le Parti phoenixien--are the ones to say the 
usual elevator paternoster instead of the Conseil/Council themselves. 
Not to mention it's all in French:]

Keiko: S'il ne brise pas la coquille de l'oeuf, le poussin mourra
avant qu'il ne na�t. 

Tsuwabuki: Nous, nous sommes le poussin. L'oeuf, c'est le monde. 

Nanami: Si nous ne brisons pas la coquille du monde, nous mourrons
avant que nous ne naissons. Brisons la coquille! 

Le Parti phoenixien: Pour la souverainet�-association du monde!

[Cut to Nanami, slipping behind the wheel of what can only be
described as a kind of red tank, onto which a fleur-de-lis has been
spray-painted in white. In other words, she's behind the wheel of the
Tougamobile from the _Adolescence of Utena_ movie. The Tougamobile is 
parked in front of what should be a red STOP sign, except the sign 
actually reads ARR�T.]

Nanami: Mlle. la Pr�sidente de l'Office de la langue fran�aise,
report.

[Cut to Keiko, who's behind the wheel of a convertible beside Nanami.
Aiko and Yuuko are in the back seat, looking like hell; their eyes 
are vacant, as if they've been drugged, and they look even more 
exhausted, with bags under their eyes.]

Keiko: Replacement of all old Japanese signs with bilingual ones is
proceeding on schedule. Replacement of all rose motifs on campus with
fleurs-de-lis is however behind schedule owing to lack of funds. 
Permission to make a recommendation?

Nanami: Granted.

Keiko: Having signs in both languages not only is more costly than
signs only in French, it also weakens the message that French is the
chief language of l'�cole Phoenix. Can we not merely have signs in
French only?

Nanami: Sois patiente, Keiko. We must make allowances now for those
ignorants who persist in speaking Japanese. Everything will be
different when we achieve sovereignty-association. Which reminds me.
Aiko, Yuuko, comment allez-vous?

Aiko and Yuuko [in a monotone]: Tres bien, Mlle. la Presidente.

Nanami: They're looking better. Hopefully they won't slip again. How
long were they in the Richard room last night?

Keiko: Seven hours. I think it did them good, mademoiselle.

Nanami: I think so too. Anything to add, Aiko? Yuuko?

[The two just stare blankly.]

Nanami: Tr�s bien. 

[Someone sounds his horn loudly]

Nanami: [noticing the sound, turning to look] Oh, Monsieur le
Vice-President. I see you're still alive. Did you want to say
something, or just the way to the door?

[Cut to Saionji, who is sitting behind Nanami in a jeep--the
Wakabamobile. Our angle lets us see the sign has reverted to a normal
STOP sign.]

Saionji: What is the meaning of this? What are all these people doing
here? And what in blazes are you up to in Nemuro Hall?

[Miki clicks his stopwatch.]

[Cut to Miki, who is sitting in the Kozuemobile, beside Saionji. Our
angle allows us to see the sign is now bilingual, saying ARR�T on top
and STOP underneath.]

Miki: The minutes state that le Conseil opened its meetings to the
public to allow for full and frank reports and discussion on the
implementation of the sign and decor regulations. The facility in
�difice Nemuro was also approved by le Conseil without objection.

[Cut to Julie, who is sitting behind Miki in a purple coupe with
frilly seat-cushions--the Shiorimobile.]

Julie: Yes. You'd know that if you'd bothered to come to meetings. 
You could even have complained. Not that we'd have listened, but it'd 
have kept you out of trouble.

Saionji: I was held against my will by Nanami's stormtroopers!

Julie: It's your own fault for violating the sign regulations. 

Nanami: In any case, you're out of order, Saionji, so be quiet. Mlle.
la Tr�sori�re, report on the financial situation. Is there enough
money for the replacement of the roses?

[Julie digs out what are presumably accounts, inspects them for a 
moment.]

Julie: Hm. Let's see. I'm really not sure the money is there. Cutting
back on clubs won't do it anymore. I mean, you have no idea how many
blasted roses there are to replace, Mlle. la Pr�sidente. Le Comit�
directeur could give it to us, but to find it they might well have to
fire several staff members. Of course I could persuade a few to 
resign voluntarily, but I'd really rather not do that. 

Miki: Anyway, don't we have other things to be doing right now? Like
finding out the nature of the Black Rose Duelists?

Keiko: Nothing is more important than preserving la culture
phoenixienne!

[Aiko and Yuuko mutter something that might be "Oui, oui." It's hard
to tell; they're pretty incoherent right now.]

Saionji: Dear God, listen to yourselves! You really think the Board 
of Trustees--oh, I'm sorry, "Le Comit� directeur"--will fire half the
staff of Ohtori Academy to satisfy Nanami's philistine sense of
aesthetics? If they had any sense at all you'd have all been expelled
long ago!

Julie [smirking]: I'm sure you have a great deal of experience about
the pains of expulsion, right?

Saionji [pouting]: That was cold.

Nanami: In any case, pretty soon we'll have the authority to
appropriate the funds ourselves, no matter what they think about it. 
I have copies here [pulling out some sheets of paper] of the new 
charter which I plan to present to le Pr�sident de l'�cole, and then, 
if he has no objections, to le Comit� directeur for final approval.

[She passes the copies around to all present. Miki and Julie look a
little concerned when they see what's printed. Saionji starts to 
laugh derisively.]

Saionji: HA! Oh dear Lord...Miss Acting President, you expect no 
objections to _this_?

[*CLICK*]

Miki: Yes. Aren't we going a bit far?

Julie: This Student Council is already pretty powerful. I don't see
how we can use all the new authority you want for us...

Nanami: This is the absolute minimum we can use. Besides, they'll 
give it to us whether they want to or not. I move that if they don't 
approve of the plan we go ahead and establish sovereignty-association 
immediately. Any objections?

Saionji: I know I do! Anybody who wasn't completely insane would!

Nanami: Aiko, Yuuko, s'il vous pla�t, take him back to Nemuro where 
he belongs.

Saionji: The hell you will!

[Aiko and Yuuko get out of the car and march like zombies to 
Saionji's jeep. Saionji pulls out his shinai.]

Saionji: You stay away!

Aiko [pointing to the stop sign]: What's that?

Saionji: Huh?

[Yuuko grabs the shinai and knocks him upside the head. They drag his
unconscious body out of the jeep and back to the elevator off 
camera.]

Miki [nervously]: Reserving the right to object...

Nanami [smirking]: Feeling lucky, Monsieur le Secr�taire?

Miki: Well, no, but...can we really achieve sovereignty-association
without the Rose Bride?

Nanami: That little weirdo? Au contraire! Je vous pr�sente...la 
Mari�e du lis!

[Cut to Tsuwabuki, who is standing on the sidewalk beside Nanami's
Tougamobile. He's now wearing an outfit much like Mamiya's, except 
it's blue with the white fleur-de-lis motif. Evidently he is the new 
Mari�e du lis/Lily Bride.]

Nanami: Une mari�e phoenixienne pure laine, perfect for l'�cole 
Phoenix! What do you think?

Tsuwabuki: Euh...Mlle. Nanami, vous voulez dire "_le_ Mari� du lis," 
n'est-ce pas? Je veux dire, je suis un gar�on...

Julie: He has a point. He'd be the Lily Bride_groom_, if anything. He
is a boy, after all.

Miki [truly impressed]: Julie, you actually speak French?

Julie [smiling, looking cool]: If I wanted to I could do anything
right!

Nanami [baiting her]: Could you dance with the devil on a Saturday
night? 

[Somewhere, Akio sneezes.]

Julie [spluttering]: My point is, he can't be a Rose Bride or a Lily
Bride, being a boy. It just doesn't work that way.

[In Mikage's basement, Mamiya sneezes.]

Mikage: Are you all right?

Mamiya: Fine. Must have caught a cold. It had to be the fresh air. Oh
dear, I thought Utena Tenjou and that fool Saionji would never leave!

Mikage: _You_ weren't stuck in a damned closet all that time... what
are you growing now?

[Beside the single black rose are several white lilies.]

Mamiya [smiling]: Thought it was time for a change.

[Cut back to la Chambre du Conseil/the Council Chamber.]

Nanami: Details, details.

Miki: Anyway, even if you want to replace the Rose Bride, you're 
going to have to get rid of the old one, which means getting power 
over her. [*CLICK*] That means beating Utena Tenjou. You've never 
beaten her, you know.

Nanami: That was then. Now, though, le peuple phoenixien are on our
side. If it comes to that, I'll surely defeat her, with their help. 
So don't worry your pretty little head, eh, Miki? [to Keiko] That 
reminds me. How many of the students have successfully completed 
treatment at Nemuro?

Keiko: About forty percent now support sovereignty-association. A
majority shouldn't be too far away now.

Nanami: Bon. Any objections to presenting the charter to le
Pr�sident later today?

Miki: None.

Julie: None.

Nanami: Bon. I'll do that. If there's nothing else, I move we
adjourn...

Miki: There was something else. A piece of correspondence...

Nanami: Ah! From le Bout de la Terre?

Miki: No, not from End of the World. Actually from the Chairman.
[hands it to Nanami] It looks like a bill for car repair...

Nanami: Quoi?

[She starts reading it. As she does so Keiko turns the engine of her
convertible over, and floors the accelerator, flying off into the 
wild blue yonder. Miki and Julie quickly follow suit in their 
vehicles, leaving Nanami in the dust. Cut to the stop sign; the 
ARR�T/STOP logo has been replaced, this time by a depiction of Shadow 
Girl C-ko dressed as a policeman, holding her hand up and blowing a 
whistle.]

Nanami: Quel horreur!

[Cut to Akio's taxi from the movie pulling up to an ARR�T sign. Akio 
gets out.]

Akio [to the cabbie]: That's _how much_? [beat] Fine. [hands the
cabbie altogether too many bills; the taxi pulls away] This is
humiliating.

[He turns to see Anthy and Utena standing at the front door of la 
Tour du Pr�sident/the Chairman's Tower.]

Anthy [beaming]: Oniisama. Welcome home.

Utena [smiling as well, but more nervously, her hand behind her 
head]: Hi, Akio. We gotta talk. Like, now.

[Tableau. The background changes to C-ko's shadow-play stage, and her
accordion music begins to play as she enters.]

C-ko: Extra! Extra!

[C-ko pops down out of sight for a moment, and rises back up seated 
at a table, wearing a large curly wig, with a spoon in one hand. In 
an egg-cup before her, an egg with the wide end up rests.]

C-ko [doleful voice]: I am the last... the last of my kind...

[Suddenly, she brings the back end of the spoon's bowl down upon the
egg, breaking it with a sharp crack. As she continues to talk, she
eats.]

C-ko: They're all against me, the ones who crack their egg on the
improper end... but I'll show them... I'll show them all... I'll show
them that my end is the proper end... then they'll see! Then they'll
be sorry!

[The egg finished, she drops her spoon on the table and burps
lightly.]

C-ko: D�licieux! 

[The table breaks in half with a sharp crack, spilling her to the
floor and out of sight.]

Utena: Doesn't it taste the same whatever end you eat it from?

Anthy: It's a matter of tradition.

[Fade out]

[Close up on Utena. She's rather flushed, and is breathing heavily.]

Utena: And...so...that's...what's...been...happening...Akio...

[Cut to Akio on his couch. He laughs pleasantly.]

Akio: Now, now, Miss Tenjou. I am not unaware of the problem.

[Panoramic view of Akio's office. Akio and Anthy are seated on their
respective couches; Utena is running on the spot.]

Utena: So...like...why...haven't...you...done...anything?

Akio: Well, I wasn't fully aware of the gravity of the situation
myself until Mr. Mikage complained about the appropriation of Nemuro
Hall by the Acting President and her assistants...

[Utena stops running and fixes Akio with a firm stare. Chu-Chu 
munches on a cracker.]

Utena [dramatic outrage]: Akio! You mean you'd need to have mass
brainwashing of students before you'd do anything!? She's causing
havoc! She's gotta be stopped! Innocent lives are at stake here!

Akio: Miss Tenjou, believe me, I'm well aware of the incident at
Natural Science. I don't think anybody was killed, though. Please,
calm down. Sit. Have some tea. [Utena sits. Anthy pours her some 
tea.] Relax. Getting excited won't help. [sips his own tea] Miss 
Tenjou, I believe that at the age you and the Student Council are 
now, children can no longer be allowed to use the judgment of adults 
as a crutch. Possibly you'll have heard complaints about how hard I 
am to get a hold of. This--you may ask the President about this, when 
he returns to school of course--is partly deliberate. It simply won't 
do for the Council to come to me over trivial matters.

Utena: Okay, whatever, but...how come you always seem to be there 
when _I've_ got a problem?

[Akio laughs pleasantly again.]

Akio: Well, Miss Tenjou, you're a completely different case. You're 
my sister's friend. As her brother it's my job to see that everything 
in her life is in order. As her friend, you're something in her life, 
so I need to see that for you, too, all's in order. In any case, a 
man's a fool to neglect his friends, and as you're my sister's 
friend, you qualify as my friend too.

Utena [blushing a bit; her hand goes behind her head]: You think so?

Akio [his smile broadening]: Am I wrong?

Anthy: STOP IT!

[The others look at her.]

Chu-Chu: Chu?

[Chu-Chu is clinging on to the rim of Utena's teacup.]

Anthy: If you wanted tea, you should have asked! You know better than
to drink Utena's! Bad Chu-Chu! Tell her you're sorry!

[Chu-Chu chus apologetically. Akio splutters.]

Akio: Would you like another cup?

Utena: Nah, that's fine...

Akio: Where was I? Yes. I was well aware of the Acting President's
recent actions. [takes another sip of tea] However, I felt that her
sudden fascination with our school's history was harmless and 
actually rather touching. Would that many more students had her level 
of pride regarding the school's heritage. I was also amazed at how 
popular the measures appeared to be. I'm sure the popularity of 
poutine in the cafeteria, at least, was genuine. It was quite good 
poutine, though nothing compared to Anthy's. Am I wrong, Anthy?

Anthy [embarrassed, but pleased; titters]: Oh, oniisama, really!

Utena [giving her the Narrow Eye Look]: Do tell.

Akio: But you're right. I really must draw the line somewhere. I 
mean, really--mass indoctrinations? How she thinks anybody outside an 
insane asylum would stand for that is beyond me...

Utena: Amen. So are you gonna go kick her ass now or...

Akio [crinkling his nose]: Well, there's no need to be vulgar about
it. But don't worry, miss Tenjou. I fully intend to rein in the 
Acting President this afternoon. I would have done it this morning, 
but I had business to attend to in town, and of course I had to take 
a taxi there and back. That, and I wasn't expecting you two to show 
up.

Utena [blushing, a bit ashamed]: Sorry.

Akio: Oh, don't be like that, Miss Tenjou. You're always welcome 
here. [checks his watch] Be that as it may though, I'm sure you two 
have classes fairly soon, and for my part I know I have some words to 
have with the Acting President. So, if you'll excuse me...

Voice: Mr. Chairman!

[Akio looks up to see who it is. It is Keiko; she holds a copy
of Nanami's "new charter" in her hand.]

Utena: Oh, God, no...

Anthy: Oh, hello, Keiko!

Akio [irritated]: How did you get up here? Do you have an 
appointment?

Keiko: No, Mr. Chairman.

Akio: Then I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I was just leaving
the office. I'm going to have to speak to the secretary about this.
She's being altogether too lax in her duties.

Anthy [all smiles]: I'm sure it wasn't her fault, oniisama.

Keiko [as officially as possible]: I came here on the orders of the
Acting President of the Student Council. She would have come herself
but she is very busy this afternoon overseeing the school 
redecoration effort...

Anthy: That's a shame. I always have so much fun with Nanami...

Keiko [misunderstanding]: Sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't come
here to play!

Akio: It just so happens I'm on my way to see her to order her to put
an end to the absurdity she's been subjecting the school to. [rises,
makes as if to go] Now, if you'll excuse me, miss...

Keiko: Keiko Sonoda, sir. It's very important sir. I was ordered to
give you something of great value...

Akio [perking up]: Ah. Good. This is evidence she hasn't taken
complete leave of her senses. So is she paying in cash or by check?

Keiko: Unfortunately, it's not payment for the car. [Akio droops
visibly. Keiko makes as if to hand Akio the charter.] These are
proposed amendments to the school charter that the Student Council
have approved at the President's urging, and have forwarded to you 
for your approval before bringing them to the Board of Trustees. I 
was asked to relay your decision to her, but as you're going to see 
her I suggest that you look at them before you go...

Akio [capitulating]: Do I have a choice?

[He takes the charter off Keiko, sits down again, puts on some 
reading glasses, and reads silently for a few moments.]

Utena [sotto voce, to Anthy]: Wow. Glasses make a body look so
intelligent, huh, Anthy?

[Anthy is just now cleaning her own glasses.]

Anthy: Yes, I suppose they do.

Akio [finally]: Please sit down, miss Sonoda. [Keiko sits down 
between Utena and Anthy, who make room.] This is the Acting 
President's work?

Keiko: Yes, sir. For the most part. We at l'Office de la langue
fran�aise made some suggestions...

Akio [a bit too cheerfully]: Well, then! Let's go through these one 
by one and we'll see what _you_ think of them, shall we? All right.
First, the Houou campus is declared to have a, quote, "distinct
cultural heritage."

Keiko: Yes, sir.

Akio [incredulous]: Distinct from what? That of our Amsterdam campus?

Keiko: Well...

Akio [ironically]: And does that perhaps possess an indistinct
cultural heritage?

Keiko [irritated]: I don't think it's fair to twist our words, sir.

Akio [not at all sorry]: Well, if you'll excuse my unfairness in the
face of absurdity, let's go on. What else? It seems the Student
Council wants to allow the Houou campus to opt out of programs,
including but not limited to courses on the curriculum, with 
financial compensation.

Keiko: Yes, sir.

Akio: Let me see if I have this straight. I'm supposed to just roll
over and let the Acting President remove history from the curriculum
and sack the social science faculty to pay for her redecorations?

Keiko [nods; begins to lecture]: Yes. Being closer to the people the
Student Council will know better than those in the far away Board of
Trustees who don't understand their true needs just how to dispense
school funds. Better the funds be used to preserve the culture, in my
own opinion, than to indoctrinate students with material they'll 
never need, like economics--

Akio [cutting her off]: And on top of this the Student Council wants 
a veto on future amendments to the school charter. To prevent action
being taken against any future mad schemes of hers, I take it?

Keiko [waving her hand dismissively]: Yes, yes, yes, but that's just 
a failsafe. The next amendment is designed to reduce the chance of 
that ever happening.

Akio: Oh, yes, I'd forgotten. The Student Council also wants the 
right to appoint three members of the nine-member Board of Trustees. 
May I ask who you had in mind?

[On cue the three stooges pop up from behind the Utena-Keiko-Anthy
couch.]

Suzuki: o/` Poutine... 

Yamada: o/` Poutine... 

Tanaka: o/` Poutine... 

Utena: [looking up at them, disgusted] I should've known.

Akio: Miss Sonoda, these fellows haven't even graduated yet! And you
want them on the Board of Trustees?

Keiko [turning up her nose]: Details, details.

Akio: And last, but not least. Oh, this is priceless. The Student
Council at the Houou campus wants exclusive control over enrollments?

Keiko [nodding emphatically]: Why yes! And more importantly, 
exclusive control over dismissals. You must understand, Mr. Chairman, 
there are far too many weirdos currently applying to and attending 
this school.

Akio [raising an eyebrow]: Is that so?

Keiko: Yes, sir! [begins to lecture again] We have a duty to not only
block further enrollments by weirdos but also purge the weirdos that
have gotten in and are simply being passed along to each successive
grade. The Student Council can be depended upon to be able to 
identify and remove weirdos much more quickly and effectively than 
the Board of Trustees...

Utena [angrily]: So basically Nanami wants the right to boot me and
Anthy out of school?

Keiko: So far as that goes, yes.

[Cue Fleur-de-Lis-Vision. Cut to l'Office de la langue fran�aise--
that is, the old kendo club, where Akio is standing at Nanami's new 
desk. Nanami looks up at him.]

Akio: Well, if that's how it is, how can the Board and I be opposed?
The new amendments have been approved unanimously! Vive le Phoenix
libre!

[Nanami jumps out of her chair; a big banner reading F�LICITATIONS 
has appeared behind her.]

Nanami: Hourra!

[Cue the "This Girl's Tragedy" melodramatic Nanami theme, except this
time Utena and Anthy fall away in a dead faint in a sea of lily
petals.]

Utena and Anthy [in unison]: Ohhhhhh...

Nanami [towering over them and pointing to them dramatically]:
OHOHOHOHO! The game is really up this time, Anth�e Himemiya and Utena
Tenjou! Adieu, et bon d�barras!

[The three stooges boot Anthy and Utena into orbit.]

Voice: Nanami!

[Nanami looks behind her to see...]

Touga: Nanami. For too long my heart was bewitched and decieved by
those weirdos. Now I realize you're the only one for me.

Nanami [hugging him tightly, in a haze of lily petals; in Japanese]:
ONIISAMA!

[Close up on Nanami.]

Nanami: That's what will happen! I call it Operation Eek!-Anth�e-
Himemiya-And-Utena-Tenjou-Are-Weirdos-Who've-Been-Messing-Up-
Oniisama's-Head!

[Touga's Room of Moping. Nanami is sitting beside Toga, to whom she
has presumably been describing her plans. The Quebecois folk music
record is still playing in the background.]

Nanami: Don't worry, oniisama! I'll save you from those two's
machinations yet! Then we can eat all the poutine you like!

[Touga's cell phone rings. Nanami pulls it out of his pocket and
answers it.]

Nanami: All�?

Male Voice: Is Touga Kiryuu there?

Nanami: If you're a girl, he dumped you. He's not talking to anyone.

Male Voice: I am not a girl! Put on Touga Kiryuu!

Nanami: If I must.

[She gives the phone to Touga; much to her surprise, he accepts it.]

Touga: Yes?

Male Voice: The Chairman here. Student Council President, do you have
any idea what your sister is up to? Will you say something to her?

Touga: Certainly. Hello, Nanami. [hangs up]

Nanami [overjoyed]: Oniisama! You talked!

Touga: ...

[Cut back to Akio's office. Akio is staring at his cell phone.]

Akio: Fat lot of help he is. [hangs up, puts the phone down] This has
gone far enough. If Nanami Kiryuu thinks she'll abuse her authority 
to settle her petty grudges with my sister she's got another thing
coming...

Keiko: Wait! Wait! She's not responsible for that passage!

Akio: She isn't?

Keiko: I'm the author! You see, it wasn't specifically intended for
Anth�e Himemiya!

[Cue Fleur-de-Lis-Vision.]

Akio [rising]: Well, if that's how it is, how can the Board and I be
opposed? The new amendments have been approved unanimously! Vive le
Phoenix libre!

[Keiko jumps out of her seat; a big banner reading F�LICITATIONS has
appeared behind her.]

Keiko: Hourra!

[Cut to la Chambre du Conseil des �leves/Student Council Chamber.]

Julie: With that in mind, I propose that Nanami Kiryuu be relieved of
her post and that Nanami Kiryuu, Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya be
summarily expelled.

Miki: Second. All in favor say "oui."

Miki, Julie, Saionji: Oui.

Nanami: Non!

Miki: The motion is carried.

[Cue the "This Girl's Tragedy" melodramatic Nanami theme, except this
time Utena, Anthy _and_ Nanami fall away in a dead faint in a sea of
lily petals.]

Utena, Anthy and Nanami [in unison]: Ohhhhhh...

Keiko [towering over them and pointing to them dramatically]:
OHOHOHOHO! The game is up this time, Anth�e Himemiya, Utena Tenjou 
and Nanami Kiryuu! Adieu, et bon d�barras!

[The three stooges boot Anthy, Utena and Nanami into orbit.]

Voice: Keiko!

[Keiko looks behind her to see...]

Touga: Keiko. For too long my heart was bewitched and deceived by
those weirdos. Now I realize you're the only one for me.

Keiko [hugging him tightly, in a haze of lily petals]: TOUGA!

[Close up on Keiko.]

Keiko: That's bound to be what will happen! I call it Operation Eek!-
Anth�e-Himemiya-And-Utena-Tenjou-Are-Weirdos-Who've-Been-Messing-Up-
Kiryuu-Touga's-Head-And-That-Goes-Double-For-His-Sicko-Sister!
[covering mouth and laughing � la Nanami] OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

[A long moment of silence.]

Utena: O_O;;;;;

Anthy: *^_^*

Akio [rising from his seat, towering over Keiko]: Absurd!

Keiko [a bit concerned]: I take it you don't approve?

Akio [muttering to himself]: For the first time in my life I think 
I'm losing my temper... [aloud] I don't know what's harder to 
believe, Kiryuu's trying to do all this or her thinking that I'll let 
her do all this.

Keiko: Is that a yes or a no?

Akio: NO!

Keiko: Sorry.

[Akio is now a distinct shade of crimson.]

Akio [with a great effort at self-control]: Now listen, Miss Sonoda,
this is what I'm going to tell Kiryuu and all her friends, so you may
as well hear. Either all those damned French signs come down, all
those squatters get out of the kendo facility and Nemuro Hall, and my
car gets paid for by noon tomorrow, or I will personally ensure that
everybody involved in this farce is expelled. Understand?

Keiko [impassive]: Yes.

Akio: Now get out of my sight. I have a headache. You can tell Kiryuu
I'll be there soon. [sits down; sighs] Someone remind me again why I
do this...

Anthy [reaching across to pat his shoulder]: There, there, oniisama.
It's okay.

Keiko: Well. I see I have no choice. [looks at the three stooges;
indicates Akio] Anglais!

Suzuki: o/` Anglais... 

Yamada: o/` Anglais... 

Tanaka: o/` Anglais...

[They close in on Akio.]

Akio [realizing what's up]: What? You think you can overpower me, do
you? 

Keiko: No.

[Suddenly seemingly from nowhere appear dozens of brainwashed faculty
and students--le Peuple phoenixien--filling the room.]

Le Peuple [in unison]: o/` Anglais! 

Keiko: But they can.

Akio [panicking]: WITCH! Accursed witch!

Keiko: Insults will get you nowhere, Mr. Chairman.

Anthy [beaming a bit too broadly]: Don't worry, oniisama. You'll be
okay.

[Le Peuple dive on top of Akio all at once, burying him and 
concealing him from further view.]

Utena [dramatic anger]: BASTARDS!

[Cue Anime Dramatic Slow-Motion (preferably in black and white). 
Utena tries to break through to Akio, but to no avail; there's just 
too many of them. Anthy continues to sit on her couch smiling to 
herself.]

Utena: Akio!

[Le Peuple toss Utena aside; she lands in a heap some distance away
from the scrimmage.]

Utena [desperately]: AKIO!

[Finally le Peuple produce what is presumably Akio, wrapped up in a
Quebec flag like a mummy, and carry him over their heads towards the
elevator, in which they somehow all manage to fit. Utena can only
watch helplessly as the elevator door closes behind them.]

Utena [heartbroken, in tears]: Akio...

Anthy [from her couch, smiling and waving]: Oniisama, bye bye!

[Chu-Chu waves goodbye as well, when he's not pulling the be-da :P
face.]

[Pan out to a panoramic view of the office. The place is a shambles.
Akio's couch is in tatters, daubed with blue and white paint, and
slowly burning. (Anthy's couch is untouched.) The china tea set is
mostly shattered. The planetarium is covered with spraypainted
fleurs-de-lis and graffiti like VIVE LE PHOENIX LIBRE, LE PHOENIX AUX
PHOENIXIENS and LE PHOENIX MON �COLE, OHTORI MON CUL.]

[Somewhere a pane of glass is heard to break.]

[Utena pulls herself up from where she fell, and staggers over to
Anthy.]

Utena [softly]: All right. That's it. If I'm the only one who can 
stop Nanami, I'm the only one who can stop Nanami. Anthy...[whispers 
in her ear]

Anthy [puzzled]: Now? Here? Is that necessary?

Utena: Humor me, all right?

[Close up of Keiko, who is no longer paying attention to them.]

Keiko [triumphantly]: Long live a sovereign Phoenix, and quickly!
OHOHOHOHO!

Utena [off; singsong]: ...to revolutionize the world.

[Suddenly a sword is at Keiko's throat.]

Utena [yes, it's _that_ sword]: Take me to your leader. _NOW._

Keiko: Eep.

Utena [grinning nastily]: What, don't understand? Anthy?

Anthy [adjusting her uniform]: Try "emm�ne-toi � ton chef, vite."

Utena: �k, thanks. [to Keiko] Emm�ne-toi � ton chef.

Keiko: Um...

Utena: _VITE!_

Keiko [frightened silly]: D'accord.

[Keiko is marched off at sword-point into the elevator. The doors
close. Fade to black. Fade in to a shot of the school incinerator.
Miki creeps furtively into sight, an envelope clutched in his hand.
He looks from side to side, then quickly opens the lid of the
incinerator with his free hand and raises the envelope to drop it 
in.]

Miki [thought]: I know this is going to come back to haunt me later 
on.

[Suddenly, a hand closes over his wrist, preventing him from dropping
the envelope.]

Miki: Eek!

[Pan back to reveal the hand belongs to Julie.]

Julie: Miki... I'm surprised at you. [she hangs her head,
profoundly disappointed.]

Miki: Well, Miss Julie, you see... I can explain...

Julie [sadly]: Let me guess. You, like me, received a letter from
Ends of the World. "Stop Nanami at all costs!" it said. But, after
seeing what happened to Saionji, you were afraid to defy Nanami.

Miki [hanging his head, deeply ashamed]: Yes, Miss Julie. That's
exactly it.

Julie [even more sadly]: Miki, I'm surprised at this.

Miki [whispered]: I'm not so strong as some people think... this
duel Ends of the World wishes me to fight, the duel called 
"R�f�rendum"... I don't want to do it! [clenching his fists, eyes
misting with tears] You're right to be upset with me, Miss Julie.

Julie [very sadly indeed]: I thought you'd at least ask me to do it
with you. After all, we're friends.

Miki [blinking]: You mean... you don't want to fight the duel called
"R�f�rendum" either, Miss Julie?

Julie [shocked at the notion]: Oh, good God, no, do you think I'm 
mad? I saw what happened to Saionji.

[Close-up of Miki's face, sparkly eyes.]

Miki: Miss Julie...

[Close-up of Juri's face, slight smile.]

Julie: Miki...

[Cut to the two of them clasping their free hands and holding their
envelopes over the open incinerator.]

Miki: Let's do it together!

[Julie nods. They simultaneously drop their envelopes into their 
incinerator, which dramatically sends up a puff of smoke.]

Miki [solemnly]: It is finished.

Julie [even more solemnly]: Yes. [beat] Now, let us celebrate with
milk and cookies.

[Miki and Julie walk off with jaunty grins on their faces. Julie
throws her arm affectionately around Miki's shoulders. After a 
moment, Utena's voice is heard off-screen.]

Utena [OS]: Vite! _Vite_!

Keiko [terrified, also OS]: Oui! Oui!

[Miki and Julie pause, as Utena walks by, following Keiko and making
near-jabs at her with the Sword of Dios. Anthy trails in their wake,
smiling cheerfully, with Chu-Chu riding on her shoulder.]

Miki: Miss Tenjou...

[Utena looks up and waves. A manic grin is plastered across her
face.]

Utena: Hi, Miki; hi, Julie. Off to stop Nanami's mad scheme before
it destroys us all. Catch ya later.

[Anthy waves and smiles as they walk on.]

Julie [shocked]: To use the Sword of Dios in such a way... to draw it
outside of the Dueling Arena...

Miki: Miss Julie... do you think Miss Tenjou is going to face the
duel called "R�f�rendum"?

Julie: I do. [beat] Let's go watch.

[They hurry off after Utena and the others. Fade out. Fade into 
Mikage's office at Nemuro Hall. It has been taken over by Nanami,
and redecorated in the pervasive blue-and-white theme. The door is
currently closed. Nanami is behind the desk, looking bored. Mikage
is standing before her, a piece of paper clenched in his hand, in 
mid-speech.]

Mikage: ...and so, if Nemuro Memorial Hall is not immediately
returned to my usage for the purposes of running my seminars, the
Mikage Seminar will have no choice but to enter into separation
proceedings from Ohtori Academy, for the purposes of regaining the
independence it has traditionally had.

Nanami: Don't be ridiculous, Monsieur Mikage. You can't separate
from l'�cole Phoenix. Your seminars are a vital part of it.

Mikage [losing his cool]: I want my damn office back, you harridan!

Nanami [perking up]: Say, have you gone through rehabilitation yet?

Mikage [nervously]: Well, no... you're just trying to distract me,
damn it! The Mikage Seminar has a cultural heritage entirely 
distinct from Ohtori Academy--

Nanami: That's l'�cole Phoenix.

Mikage: --one which you're threatening to destroy permanently! I'll
have no choice but to take my concerns to the Board of Directors if
you refuse to hear them!

Nanami: Now, Monsieur Mikage, what you fail to see is--

[A knock is heard at the door. Nanami looks up.]

Nanami: I'm in the middle of--

Keiko [terrified, from the other side of the door]: Mlle. Nanami, I 
think Utena Tenjou would _really_ like to see you...

Mikage [starting]: Tenjou! [looks frantically around for a place to
hide, then sighs and hurls himself through the window in a spray of
glass.] 

Nanami [blinking]: Finished now. Come in.

[The door opens. Keiko enters, followed by Utena (still with the
sword). Anthy, Miki and Julie gather in the doorway.]

Nanami: Keiko! What's going on?

[Keiko hurls herself at Nanami's feet, prostrating herself 
pathetically, tears in her eyes.]

Keiko: Oh, Mlle Nanami, it was just terrible... but you'll
make her pay, won't you? [glaring back at Utena] Now you'll be
sorry!

Utena: Right, Nanami, Duel Arena, now.

Nanami [smirking]: So... _you_ are the one foretold.

Utena: Huh?

Nanami: The time has come for... R�f�rendum! 

Utena: Huh?

[Miki whispers something into Utena's ear.]

Utena: What? [Miki whispers again] No, I had no idea, I was just
angry about what happened to... I mean, of course, yes, R�f�rendum,
that was my intention all along. [laughs nervously]

Nanami [smirking]: At last you see reason, Mlle. Tenjou.

Utena [prosaic]: Lost my train of thought. Yeah. [dramatic] Here are
my terms. I win, this French crap ends right now and the chairman 
goes free. OK?

[Pause.]

Nanami: D'accord. [smiles more obviously] But you may find me more
difficult to beat this time...OHOHOHOHOHO!

[Cut to Utena approaching the gates of the Dueling Arena. ZUM (C�line
Dion Remix) plays as the standard ascension sequence occurs... up
until she reaches the Dueling Arena, where the red rose design on the
floor has been replaced by a white fleur-de-lis. Instead of the 
Castle of Illusion hanging upside-down in the sky, there is a rather 
shoddy-looking stadium. Nanami, Tsuwabuki (in his Lily Bride costume) 
and Anthy are already there.]

Utena: Huh?

Nanami: Ohohohoho! The Duel Arena seems to have automatically created
an appropriate setting for the duel called "R�f�rendum"! [points at
Utena with her sword, whose guards make it look like an elongated
fleur-de-lys.] Prepare yourself, Utena Tenjou, for "R�f�rendum"!

[Utena looks at Tsuwabuki.]

Utena: Tsuwabuki... why are you dressed like that?

Tsuwabuki: Je suis le Mari� du lis!

Nanami [correcting him]: _La_ Mari�e du lis.

Tsuwabuki [capitulating]: Tr�s bien, Mlle. Nanami.

[Anthy kneels down to look Tsuwabuki in the eye, ruffles his hair.]

Anthy: Lily Groom or Lily Bride, he's very cute, don't you think?

Tsuwabuki [blushing]: C'est vrai? [laughs, hand behind head]

Anthy: Yes, it's true.

Utena [raising an eyebrow]: What, Nanami, shouldn't you be drawing a
sword from him, then?

Nanami: Oh, don't be silly. Tsuwabuki's sword would be far too small
for my needs.

[Tsuwabuki grumbles something.]

Nanami: What was that, Tsuwabuki?

Tsuwabuki [sourly]: Je n'ai dit rien.

Nanami: C�est vrai? Well, it didn�t sound like you didn't say 
anything to me.

[Utena sighs, shakes her head, and turns to Anthy.]

Utena: Right. Let's get this over with... hey, why is Chu-Chu here?

[Chu-Chu, indeed, is perched on Anthy's shoulder.]

Anthy: He wanted to come.

Chu-Chu: Chu!

[Anthy walks sedately over to Nanami and puts a white lily in her
breast pocket, then returns to Utena and puts the standard white rose
in hers.]

Anthy: Rose of the noble castle...

[Etc, etc...]

Utena: ...the power to bring Referendum to the world!  [beat]  No,
wait, that�s not how it---

Nanami: En garde!

[The Duel Music (J.A. Seazer's arrangement of "Alouette, gentille 
Alouette") begins to play]

o/`: Alouette, gentille Alouette!

[Nanami rushes Utena, who stands her ground. Their swords meet with a
ringing clash, and Utena shoves Nanami back.]

o/`: Alouette, je te plumerai!

[Utena goes on the attack; Nanami parries skillfully. They dance in
circles, thrusting and slashing.]

o/`: Je te plumerai la t�te!

[Cut to Miki and Julie on the observation tower, watching the distant
battle through lorgnettes.]

o/`: Je te plumerai la t�te!

Miki: I don't understand... what is that stadium doing there?

Julie [lecturing tone]: I believe it to be the Montreal Olympic
Stadium, a building renowned for its structural instability.

Miki: Yes, I recognize it. Nanami spoke of it often enough. But why
that and not the castle we usually see?

Julie: It is appropriate for a duel such as this one. The stadium is
the ultimate symbolic expression of French Canadian delusions of 
grandeur.

Miki [completely serious]: Yes. So it is.

o/`: Et la t�te!

[Cut back to Nanami and Utena, swords locked at the hilts, arms
straining.]

o/`: Et la t�te!

Nanami: I won't lose! I won't let you destroy my people's culture!

Utena: I won't let you turn this school into some kind of weird
French brainwashing facility!

o/`: Alouette! Alouette!

[A cracking sound is heard. Chunks of the Phantom Stadium begin to
fall upon the arena; one nearly crushes Nanami and Utena, breaking
their deadlock as they part to avoid it.]

o/`: Alouette, gentille Alouette!

Utena: What the _hell_?

Nanami: Don't take your eye off me!

[Nanami snarls and lunges. Utena barely parries, and is driven back.
They begin exchanging blows and parries again.]

o/`: Alouette, je te plumerai!

[Chunks of the Phantom Stadium are still falling, concentrated around
the two duelists. Tsuwabuki is nearly crushed by one; he eeps, and 
runs to cower at Anthy's feet, as she's occupying what appears to be
the only clear area.]

o/`: Je te plumerai le bec!

Anthy [smiling gently down at him]: Don't worry, Tsuwabuki.

Tsuwabuki [frightened, near tears]: All I wanted was to be Miss
Nanami's big brother... I didn't want all this fighting... and
people getting hurt...

[Nanami lands a particularly hard blow on Utena's blade, knocking her
to her knees. Utena rolls to the side as Nanami's sword cuts down at
her, missing her by a hair.]

o/`: Je te plumerai le bec!

[Tsuwabuki is now sobbing into Anthy's skirts.]

o/`: Et la t�te!

Tsuwabuki: It's all so terrible! I can't stand it!

o/`:  Et la t�te!

[Anthy looks down at him, and her face softens. She kneels down and
gently strokes his hair.]

o/`: Et le bec!

Anthy: Don't worry. It will all be over soon.

[Utena comes to her feet and throws herself forward at Nanami in the
Dios-Lunge.]

o/`: Et le bec!

[A chunk of the stadium falls between them, forcing Utena to pull to 
a halt. She stumbles, trips over the rubble, and falls on her back.]

o/`: Alouette!

[Nanami looms over Utena, raising her sword high.]

o/`: Alouette!

Nanami: Pour la souverainet�-association du monde!

[Chu-Chu suddenly appears on her shoulder, munching on something
white.]

o/`: AL-OU-ETTE!!!

[Nanami looks down to see that he's chewed off the top of her lily at
some point in the battle. Cue "This Girl's Tragedy."]

Nanami [swooning]: Ohhhhh...!

[She collapses, apparently passed out. Chu-Chu jumps off at the last
minute.]

Utena: Hey, thanks.

Chu-Chu [proudly]: Chu!

[End "This Girl's Tragedy."]

Tsuwabuki: Mlle. Nanami!

[He skips over bits of rubble to his mistress. Nanami appears to come
to, smiles at him endearingly, and reaches out to stroke his hair. 
The girls love his hair.]

Nanami: Tsuwabuki...

Tsuwabuki: Mlle. Nanami! �a ne peut pas le fin, n'est-ce pas? [sobs]

Anthy [impassive]: "It can't be the end?" I'm sorry, but it must and
it is.

Utena [not at all sympathetic]: Thank God.

Nanami [almost a whisper]: If I understand you correctly, mon petit,
you are saying, "A la prochaine..."

[She faints again. The rubble and the Stadium mysteriously vanish.]

Tsuwabuki: MLLE. NANAMI!

[Up in the bleachers, Julie and Miki are clearly moved. Julie weeps
visibly; Miki passes her some Kleenex.]

[Anthy appears to take pity, because she draws near to Tsuwabuki. She
kneels next to him again. Cue "The Sunlit Garden," variation
unimportant.]

Anthy: There, there. She'll be all right.

Tsuwabuki [in tears]: And what if she's not?

[Anthy thinks for a moment.]

Anthy [finally]: You can be my big brother instead. My usual one's 
out of commission at the moment.

Utena: HEY!

Tsuwabuki [overjoyed]: Really?

Anthy: Really.

[She kisses him on the forehead, something Nanami sure never did.
Tsuwabuki nosebleeds and passes out.]

Utena [disgusted]: Slut.

Anthy [all smiles]: When he wakes up he will remember nothing of 
being the Lily Bride. The measure was necessary for his sake and 
those of others. In any case, "judge not, etc."

Utena [Narrow Eye look]: I meant him, not you.

Anthy: Well...you have a point...

[Cut to view of dueling arena from bleachers.]

Miki: I think it's cute that Himemiya would do something like that.

Julie: I don't know, the mood was completely ruined for me.

Miki: Really? Why?

Julie [this explains everything]: Boys have cooties. Didn't you know?

[Fade out.]

[Camera up on Miki, Julie and Saionji in the nurse's office,
apparently at someone's bedside. Cut to Nanami waking up.]

Nanami: O� suis-je?

Julie: Where are you? In the nurse's office. We brought you here 
after the duel. Though I suppose you wouldn't remember...

[Camera on Tsuwabuki, passed out in the next bed.]

Miki: Miss Julie? Are you sure that was a legal victory? I mean, 
Utena Tenjou didn't exactly remove the lily herself...

[Camera back to Nanami's bed.]

Julie: The lily was removed. That's all that matters. [beat] You
realize it wouldn't be the first dirty trick that the Rose Bride...

[Nanami begins to sob.]

Miki: Um...did we say something wrong?

Nanami [through her tears]: Incroyable! All my plans ruined...by the
monkey and the ethnic girl!

Voice: Get over it!

[Enter Utena--for it is she--and Anthy, who holds a lunch box.]

Anthy: Hello, Nanami. How are you feeling?

Nanami: Fous le camp!

Miki [looking that idiom up, clearly shocked]: Nanami, bite your
tongue!

Julie [ironically]: No hard feelings, I see.

Utena: You're conscious. Kick ass. All righty, up and at �em,
girlfriend, you've got a lot of signs and fleur-de-whatsits to take
down.

Nanami: And what if I don't want to?

Miki: A promise is a promise, Nanami. Also, Utena tells me you'll get
expelled if you refuse.

Saionji: Besides, if you don't do it, someone will. Your friends are
hard at work undoing the aesthetic and linguistic damage they've done
to the school as we speak.

Nanami: Ah.

Saionji: And clearing out of the kendo facility and Nemuro Hall.

Nanami: Oui.

Julie: And then there's that bill for the Chairman's car...

Nanami: D'accord, d'accord! I get the picture! [turns her nose up in
disgust]

Utena [whispered, to Anthy]: Do the honors.

Anthy [whispered, to Utena]: Yes, Miss Utena. [aloud, to Nanami] If
you're about to do that, Nanami, I'd made some poutine as a sort of
peace offering, so you can have lunch before you start work. [offers
Nanami the lunch box and a fork] But if you don't want it...

[Pause.]

Nanami: Hm. Well, I am a little hungry.

[She takes the lunch box, opens it up and prepares to dig in.]

[Cut to the window just outside the clinic.]

[*BOOM*]

[Cut to Touga's Room of Moping. The Quebecois folk music record is
still playing in the background.]

[Touga, after a moment of apparent consideration, gets up and walks
over to the gramophone.]

[He digs through the LP's, apparently searching for another record.]

[He apparently finds what he is looking for, because he pulls out a
record and then what is apparently the folk music record's sleeve.]

[He takes the needle off the folk music record, takes it off the
gramophone, replaces it in its sleeve, replaces the sleeve in its
place with the other LP's, takes the new record out of its sleeve,
places the record on the gramophone, puts the sleeve back in its
place, puts the needle on the record, and walks back to his seat.]

[It turns out to be Dvorak's "Largo" once again.]

Touga: Life will be dull again for a while, I suppose.

[Cut to the gates of Ohtori Academy. The �COLE PHOENIX sign is gone,
as are the fleurs-de-lis.]

[Cut to the kendo facility, where young Japanese men are once again 
training in the noble art of swordplay.]

[Cut to a random corridor, revealing signs restored to their
unilingual Japanese glory. The rose motif has also been restored.]

Tatsuya [OS]: So the Acting Student Council President is back to
normal?

Wakaba [OS; disappointed]: Yeah, I guess. It was fun while it lasted.

[Cut to a random classroom window. Utena, Anthy, Wakaba and Tatsuya
are staring outside between class periods.]

Utena [Narrow Eyes]: That all depends on your definition of fun.

Wakaba: So, like, did your brother get his car fixed?

Anthy: Well, it was fixed, just not paid for. After helping take down
all those signs the other day Nanami must have stayed home 
complaining of fatigue, because oniisama tells me it wasn't her but 
her father who came by with the check. He hadn't seen Mr. Kiryuu that 
upset in quite a while, he said.

Utena: How's Tsuwabuki?

Wakaba: Yeah, didn't he get caught in a fight between you and Nanami,
Utena?

Anthy: Oh, much better. By way of apology for embarrassing the poor
dear--

Wakaba: How?

Anthy: Well, I'd rather not say. It's embarrassing. [smiles]

Wakaba: �k.

Utena: So what did you do?

Anthy: What else but cook him some lunch?

Utena [big eyes]: What?

Anthy: Is that all right?

Utena: _What_ did you cook him for lunch?

Anthy: I had a recipe for Cuban red beans and rice I wanted to try
out, so I let him have some. He liked it so much he asked for some
more to give to Nanami. [beat] Did I do something wrong?

[Utena runs from the room. Wakaba just sweatdrops.]

Tatsuya [not making the connection]: What's with her?

[A lawn. Saionji, Miki and Julie are taking a walk together in a rare
moment that doesn't involve Student Council business or sarcastic
comments at Saionji's expense.]

Saionji [stretching]: Thank God all that's over.

Miki: I always preferred the school the way it was.

Julie: I'm still not returning that foil, though.

[Utena is suddenly in front of them.]

Miki: Oh, hello, Miss Tenjou. What's the matter?

Utena: Houston, we have a problem.

[Cut to Akio and Kanae Ohtori taking a drive on a country road near
Houou. Villa Kiryuu can be seen off in the distance.]

Kanae: Well, this is sudden. You never take me for drives any more.

Akio: The wind blows from both the east and the west, my dear.

[They both laugh softly.]

Kanae: You're mysterious as always. That's why I...

[There is an explosion from Villa Kiryuu clearly visible and audible
from the road.]

Akio: [quietly] Oh shit. [He pulls out his cell phone, presses
speed-dial and waits a few moments. Finally, moderately] Why do you
continue to...

Voice: You are entitled to your playthings. I'm entitled to mine.
[hangs up]

[Akio stares at the phone, clearly not amused.]

Kanae: What was that all about?

[Cut back to the Ohtori Academy classroom.]

Anthy: [putting _her_ cell phone away; to Wakaba, all smiles] Nothing
I can't handle.

Wakaba: ...

[Cut to close up of Utena.]

Utena: Oh God. We're too late.

[Utena, Saionji, Miki and Julie run up the Villa Kiryuu garden path.]

[Cut to Touga's Room of Moping. Dvorak's "Largo" is still playing in
the background.]

[Touga, after a moment of apparent consideration, gets up and walks
over to the gramophone.]

[He digs through the LP's, apparently searching for another record.]

[He apparently finds what he is looking for, because he pulls out a
record and then what is apparently the folk music record's sleeve.]

[He takes the needle off the �Largo� record, takes it off the
gramophone, replaces it in its sleeve, replaces the sleeve in its
place with the other LP's, takes the new record out of its sleeve,
places the record on the gramophone, puts the sleeve back in its
place, puts the needle on the record, and walks back to his seat.]

[It turns out to be a record of Cuban revolutionary anthems. Touga
listens for a few moments.]

Touga: [finally] Where did father get _that_ record, I wonder?

[Team Utena make it to the Villa Kiryuu front door. In the smoke we
can just make out the door opening.]

[They stand there, nervously expectant, then let their jaws drop as
they see what has emerged.]

Saionji: Oh no. [yelling inside] TOUGA! I know you can hear me! Do
something!

Miki [clinging to Julie]: Miss Julie, make it go away!

Julie [as terrified as he is]: Oh, very good! How?

Utena: Anthy... why?

[Cut to the door, where the smoke has cleared enough to let us see
just what has emerged. It is Nanami, her hair color restored, but her
Student Council uniform abandoned for what appear to be Che Guevara
guerrilla fatigues, complete with beret emblazoned with a red star.
She is wearing war paint under her eyes and brandishing an apparently
genuine Kalashnikov machine gun for good measure.]

Nanami [at the top of her lungs]: Viva la Revoluci�n!

[Fade out. Loud cries of pained distress. End.]

Epilogue:

[Utena, Nanami and Anthy are standing in their Duelist/Rose Bride
outfits--those being their best--at microphones in what appears to be
the Shadow Girl Theater. A Canadian flag has been hastily unfurled 
onstage behind them. An apparently recorded yet extremely stirring
rendition of "O Canada" begins to play in the background.]

Utena: So, why do we gotta sing this anyway? We're not Canadian!

Nanami: It's in lieu of the ending credit song. I thought it would be
nice.

Utena [checking script]: It is?

Anthy: ...two, three, four...

[They begin to sing, Utena and Nanami rather badly, Anthy like an
angel:]

Utena: o/` O Canada! Our home and native land! 
Nanami: o/` O Canada, terre de nos a�eux, 
Anthy [translating for Nanami]: o/` O Canada, our own forefathers'
land, 

Utena: o/` True patriot love in all thy sons command 
Nanami: o/` Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux! 
Anthy: o/` Wreaths of glory's flowers upon thy brow've been laid! 

Utena: o/` With glowing hearts we see thee rise, 
Nanami: o/` Car ton bras sait porter l'�p�e, 
Anthy: o/` For thine arm hath well borne the sword, 

Utena: o/` The True North strong and free! 
Nanami: o/` Il sait porter la croix! 
Anthy: o/` It hath well borne the cross! 

Utena: o/` From far and wide, O Canada, 
Nanami: o/` Ton histoire est une �pop�e 
Anthy: o/` Thy history's an epic that 

Utena: o/` We stand on guard for thee 
Nanami: o/` Des plus brilliants exploits 
Anthy: o/` Tells how thine exploits shone 

Utena: o/` God keep our land, glorious and free! 
Nanami: o/` Et ta valeur, de foi tremp�e, 
Anthy: o/` And thy valor, steeped in thy faith, 

Utena: o/` Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee 
Nanami: o/` Prot�gera nos foyers et nos droits 
Anthy: o/` Shall yet protect our homesteads and our rights 

Utena: o/` Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee 
Nanami: o/` Prot�gera nos foyers et nos droits 
Anthy: o/` Shall yet protect our homesteads and our rights 

[The recording comes to a stirring climax.]

Utena [finally]: Those words are, like, _nothing_ alike.

Nanami: Well, the French ones are the originals, so there!

Anthy: As I said, it's a matter of tradition.

                              **FIN**

-AUTHOR'S NOTES-

                              -PAUL-

    "If you're reporters, you're not authorized to be here!" the
figure called.  "This is private property!  You'll have to call 
the office of the Chairman and arrange for an interview, _if_
he'll grant you one.  Which he won't."

    "We're not reporters," Juri called.  "Bonjour, Madame 
Lamer."

    The aggressive stride stopped abruptly.  "...Arisugawa
Juri?  Is that you?"

    Juri walked towards the teacher, subtly beckoning Shiori to
follow with her hand.  "Oui, madame.  How did you know it was 
me?"

    "You were the _only_ one who ever pronounced my name right."
Mme. Lamer apparently thought this was a cardinal virtue.  "Not
'lamer', but 'la mare': 'the sea'."

   Alan does not speak or read French to any great degree. I, on the other
hand, have just enough to be confused by what he'd written. He had meant "la
mare" to be pronounced as in English ("lah mayre"); but I read it as in
French ("lah mahre"), which if it was intended to render French "la mer"
would, I'm told, sound like Madame Lamer, the unpleasant "riding crop
teacher," was pronouncing her name with a French Canadian accent.
   
   I pointed that out to Alan. I thought it was fine, but I thought it
rather funny coming from a professional pedant like Mme. Lamer. :) (It was
changed in the final draft.)
   
   I myself am American, but I also knew just enough about Canadian politics
to have a vision of Utena as not been a (French) "Revolutionary Girl," but
rather as a (Quebec separatist) "Sovereignty-Associationist Girl." So I
dared Alan to write it, he being actually Canadian and thus having some
business speaking on the topic. :)
   
   When I proposed a preliminary plot, though, he suggested that I be the
one to write it. After I changed the plot to more or less what we now have,
though (making Utena into Nanami, for instance), he agreed to collaborate on
this travesty. :) 
   
   So here we are. 
   
   I'm rather proud with what came out, not least because it's something of
a first. US history and politics are referenced in fanfics all the time, but
there's very little discussion of politics of other nations whose denizens
lurk online, even when, suitably dressed up, they'd be excellent topics for
satirical fanfics. As it is, even the parody SM fic series _Sailor Canuck_
was reluctant to mine the satiric potential of Therese Lavoile, "Sailor
Quebec," to any great degree. This may be for fear that "nobody outside my
country would get it;" however, if it's not obviously funny, with all the
names and labels removed, there's probably another side to the story. Satire
should be reserved for the case where there is no other side--none that
could be championed by somebody not in need of medication, anyway. :)
Anything else is pure polemics.
   
   Of course, anybody who wants to write a fic in response is free to do so
in either English or French. :) (Offers of translation of this turkey into
French are appreciated too.)
   
   In any case, I still find it odd that an American had to come up with the
idea for a satire of the Quebec question.
   
   Let he who is intelligent pick all the references to Canadian politics
and Quebec separatism, and to Quebec's language policies. I'll just repeat
the old saw that "truth is stranger than fiction," and I was surprised how
little I actually had to invent when no living satirist could have improved
on (for instance) the Quebec commercial sign laws that stipulate the size of
French and English text on signs inside and outside places of business. To
the best of my knowledge, what I put in the fanfic is the correct official
interpretation of the current sign law.
   
   To the best of my knowledge, though, the Maurice Richard torture chamber
is Alan Harnum's invention. :)
   
   Oh yes--I've only been to Quebec once, when I was in high school, staying
mostly in Quebec City. My one regret is never having been able to go
back--IMHO Quebec City is the most beautiful city in North America. A Quebec
flag has a place of honor on my desk at home.

                              -ALAN-
                              
It was mostly Paul's fault.  Really, it was.  I'm just an accomplice.  
Even if my bad French (sadly bad, since I took seven years of it from
late elementary to early high school--I blame the sorriest collection
of French teachers ever assembled for this, especially the one who 
threw the chair at me, and the narcoleptic) planted the seed, he 
watered it.

     I take responsibility for the J.A. Seazer version of "Alouette",
however.  If you're creative, it can be sung to Juri's first Duel 
Song, with the final "alouette" pronounced like the final "ammonite" 
of Saionji's second Duel Song.

     Again, it was mostly Paul's fault.  Really.  Stop looking at me
like that.


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