------------------------------

    Akane woke and stretched, happily groaning as she pulled
all the kinks out of her muscles.

    *Hmm... worn out this morning. Hips are kinda sore. Must
have worked out extra hard yesterday,* she thought as she
relaxed and scratched at her side.

    Actually, her hips were *really* sore, Akane thought to
her self.

    "Oh yeah. I had my ankles back behind my head last
night," she remembered.

    Groggily, her hair sticking up in wild array, Akane
swung her legs over the side of her bed and began to make her
way to the door, pausing briefly to step over the snoring lump
on her floor.

    "Nnn..." Akane greeted Nabiki as the two met in the
hall. She wondered why her sister was giving her those odd
looks, but ignored them in favor of making her way directly
down the stairs and to the furo.

    Did Nabiki have a black eye?

    She stopped in the changing room briefly, and giggled at
her hair in the mirror before taking off the red Chinese shirt
she was...

    Uhoh.

    Sore hips.

    Snoring lump in bedroom floor.

    Red Chinese shirt.

    Akane's happy expression cracked slightly. Slowly,
ponderously, one petite hand reached down under the hem of the
shirt.

    "No panties..." Akane breathed, a sick grin still stuck
on her face. She probed with her fingers...

    ...And came up sticky.

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

------------------------------
Akane the Queen : Nine Inches of Passion Spice

A Lemon-Lime Spritzer by
Chris Jones
------------------------------

    "I see you had a good time last night," Nabiki mumbled
as she made her way into the changing room.

    "Nonononononononononnononononononononono..."

    Nabiki grimaced at her reflection in the mirror. She
grimaced at the black eye that was still mostly swelled shut
and made an ineffectual attempt to get her hair to lay down.

    Akane simply ran out of the room, screaming.
    
* * *

    Watching the screaming girl run through the tea-room to
the stairs clad in only one of Ranma's red shirts, Genma
grinned evilly and clinked the rim of his tea-cup against
Soun's.

    Soun nodded his head and downed the breakfast tea in one
hearty gulp.

    Kasumi glared darkly at the both of them while Nodoka
was making up a list of appropriate baby-names.

* * *

    Ranma awoke groggily at the girl's screams and tried to
blink the sleep out of his eyes. He sat up just in time to see
the door swing open and Akane's heaving figure staring at him
with a wild expression.

    "Mornin'," he mumbled, trying to figure out why he was
so exhausted.

    "NOOOOOOOOO!" Akane screamed, running away from the
door. The door slammed against the frame but bounced back.

    "What'd I do this time?" Ranma blinked again. "Hey, what
am I doin' in her room?"


* * *


    Nabiki finished brushing her teeth and rinsed. When she
came back up from the sink, Akane was in her face, breathing
heavily.

    "How?!?!" the younger girl demanded. "When?!?!" The,
more seriously, with a glint of fury in her eyes, "Who? And how
did you get a black eye?"

    "Ah... Awake at last, I see," Nabiki noted. "I'll tell
you, but first you have to tell me what it was like."

    Akane felt a goofy grin forming on her face. "Oh, about
nine inches long and as hard as---" Akane covered her mouth in
horror as her face turned a bright pink color.

    "Heh," Nabiki chuckled, and clutched at her sides. She
winced at the movement, letting Akane know that the black eye
was probably just the most superficial of her injuries. "As for
my present condition, it was Ukyou. Between us, we royally...
ahem... *screwed* her plans last night, and she felt the need
to take her anger out on somebody, and you were... heh,
*unavailable*. Oh, I'll be billing *her* tomorrow, I tell you!"

    Akane shook her head, trying to clear her mind. The
details of the previous evening were blurry in some respects,
but some things, now that she remembered she had done them,
were frightfully clear. all nine inches of them.

    "You better start at the beginning, Nabiki," Akane said,
collapsing to the floor in disbelief.

    "Well, it was Shampoo's grandmother's passion spice
again..."

* * *

    "It getting too too dangerous!" Shampoo said, staring at
the okonomiyaki chef over her grill. "Violent girl no break up
with husband even after wedding go boom!"

    "I'll say," Ukyou agreed as she was irritably scrubbing
her grill. "That was a sure thing!"

    "Maybe Ranma-sama and Akane-sama have stronger feelings
that we expected," Konatsu suggested hopefully.

    "Ranma's too shy," Ukyou ignored her wait-person
completely. "He just needs a little prompting. Just a little
push. Hmmm..."

    "What spatula-girl thinking?" the purple-haired delivery
girl asked.

    "Maybe if we got him drunk..." Ukyou mused aloud.
"Alcohol loosens the tongue. If we got him just rip-roaring-
fall-down toasted, he might finally be able to admit that he
really loves me."

    "Airen love Shampoo!" the amazon countered. "Ranma get
drunk on sake, say he love Shampoo!"

    "Urr... sometimes people say things they don't mean when
they're intoxicated," Konatsu suggested, busy trying to keep
Ukyou from scrubbing away the entire top layer of steel off the
grill.

    Ukyou deflated. "That's true. My father said that he was
the emperors's brother once. He only had a few bottles in him
at the time."

    Shampoo scowled and leaned over the counter, her head
resting on her arms. "Maybe..."

    "What?"

    "Well. No good. Try before and no work."

    "Out with it, China-girl," Ukyou growled.

    "Passion spice. Make people very... excited. Never seem
to work right. Always give to wrong person or..."

    Ukyou caught fire, the heat of her pure heart lighting
up the room. "But we *will* give it to the right person,
Shampoo!" Ukyou declared. "Between the two of us, we can
arrange things so that Ranma gets a hearty dose of the spice.
If we're both there, then he'll have no choice but to admit who
he really loves!"  *Me!!!!* she declared to herself.

    Then Ukyou caught fire, the gas heating element exposed
as she finally scrubbed all the way through the grill. The
sleeve of her shirt charred and ignited. Ukyou waved it around
in a panic while Konatsu tried to extinguish the flame with his
own body.

    *Me!!!* Shampoo thought, smirking at the flaming chef.
"Okay! We do it. We make new food and put Passion Spice in!"

    "Owowowowowwo!" Ukyou bellowed, beating her arm against
Konatsu to put out the fire.

    "I get Airen for sure! Hahahaha!"

* * *

    "Delivery!"

    "Oh, who's there?" Kasumi asked.
    
    "It Shampoo! Have new kind of ramen for Airen to try!"

    "It's Ukyou! I have a new kind of okonomiyaki for Ran-
chan to sink his teeth into."

    "Oh, my!" Ukyou let both girls in the kitchen door.
"Okonomiyaki *and* Ramen! Just what I was already making for
dinner."

    "You don't say," Ukyou muttered.

    "We'll have plenty to go around, then!" Kasumi declared.
Why don't you just put it over there and--"

    "Okay. Shampoo put special hmpphh!!!!"
    
    "Heh," Ukyou chuckled, clutching her hand over Shampoo's
mouth. "We'll just leave them over here. They're only for Ran-
chan, though, okay?"

    Kasumi's expression dimmed somewhat. To those that knew
her, this was a full fledged Kasumi-glare, and it couldn't be
dodged lightly.

    Ukyou began to giggle nervously under the onslaught.
"Ahahaha!"

    "You two didn't do anything naughty to the food did
you?" Kasumi asked sweetly in a tone that would not be ignored.
    
    Shampoo's eyes widened in horror. "Err... No!"

    "They won't explode like last time will they?"

    "Absolutely not!" Ukyou defended. "Well, you could
explode them, if you happened to have a handy stick of cordite
laying around but---  Nevermind! These Oknomiyaki--"

    "Ramen" Shampoo volunteered.

    "--Okonomiyaki are designed to be eaten! Not to do
demolition with!"

    "Ramen."

    "So which is it? okonomiyaki or ramen?" Kasumi asked.

    "Okonomiyaki!"

    "Ramen!"

    "Rokonomiyaiken!" Ukyou declared, opening the lids on
their boxes, displaying their new confection. Indeed what was
inside was a thick, noodle soup with mini-okonomiyaki dumplings
floating prettily just on top of the soup.

    "Ara! How delightful!" Kasumi exclaimed. "May I taste?"

    "Noooo! Kasumi no taste this!!!!" Shampoo screamed.
"Here ah... ah..."

    Ukyou grabbed one of the other boxes and handed it to
Shampoo. "This one's good!"

    The amazon breathed a sigh of relief and handed it to
the eldest Tendou daughter. "This one for nice-nice girl,"
Shampoo said, her chest heaving.

    Kasumi produced a pair of chopsticks and lifted a mini-
okonomiyaki dumpling from the broth and blew on it ever so
gently. She popped in her mouth and smiled broadly. "Why, how
exquisite! I'm certain that Ranma will love this!"

    "He should," Ukyou said, glaring at the floor.

    "What?"

    "Heh! Nothing...!"

    Shampoo dragged Ukyou away from the situation by ear.
"How you do that?" Shampoo demanded.

    Ukyou breathed a sigh of relief and held a jar. "I
thought something like this might happen, so I didn't put any
of the passion spice in yet. Your grandmother also gave me an
antidote to the spice, just in case."

    "So Kasumi get one bowl?"

    Ukyou nodded. "That means there are only two left."

    "Very very bad! We have to conserve food. Very bad if
Airen no eat!"

    "I know," Ukyou admitted. "Still, better safe than
sorry, ne?"

    "Better not work with moron and get burn!" Shampoo
growled. "We work now. Spatula-girl no mess up again!"

    "Who messed up?"

    "Dinner's ready!" Kasumi shouted.

    * * *

    "Look, is Godzilla." Shampoo pointed out the window as
the Tendous at down to eat. "Mercenary-girl have camera?"

    "Where?" Nabiki demanded, her hands reaching into the
pocket on her overalls for her micro-35mm. There was the
standing 100,000 yen reward from the Tokyo Enquirer for a real
photo of the Monster Who Ate Tokyo to think of.

    Ukyou took the opportunity Shampoo's distraction offered
to lean over and season Ranma's bowl of rokonomiyakiken.

    "Mmm! This looks really good!" Ranma said after the
group had failed to watch the Green Menace materialize on the
Tokyo skyline.

    Akane 'hmphed' and turned her nose up at Ranma and the
other girls.

    "Just a second, boy!" Genma said, reaching out with his
chopsticks. He snagged one of the dumplings from Ranma's bowl
and proceeded to pop it into his own mouth. "You can't try a
new kind of food without offering some to your old man!"

    Ukyou's eyes widened in horror. She dropped her
chopsticks and covered her mouth in abject fear.

    Shampoo leaned over and began sneezing. She held her
fist up to her face. The net effect was that the girl 'sneezed'
a fine coating of golden powder, the Passion Spice antidote,
directly into Genma's face.

    "That kind of behavior spreads germs, you know," Soun
noted as he munched another one of Ranma's dumplings.

    "Achoo! Achoo! Excuse Shampoo," Shampoo sneezed into
Soun's face. "Hope Shampoo isn't contagious."

    "Some people have *no* manners," Nabiki noted, eating
the bowl of rokonomiyakiken.

    "Aiya!"

    Ukyou's jaw dropped again. "Where'd you--"

    "I owed her," Ranma admitted. "Actually, I still owe
here. That's for the hot kettle before yearbook pictures last
month."

    "This is pretty good. Oh, my," Nabiki undid the top two
buttons on her blouse. "Is it warm in here, or is it just me?"

    "Here!" Ukyou held out a glass of antidote-spiked soda.
"This should cool you off! I hope! Compliments of Ucchan's!"

    "Why thank you, Ukyou!" To the chef's relief, Nabiki
downed almost the entire glass of soda before resuming eating.
To the chef's relief, Nabiki also refastened one button after
realizing how much cleavage she had just exposed.

    "Shampoo be right back!" The amazon rushed into the
kitchen and grabbed another bowl of the new concoction. She
paused to sprinkle Passion Spice liberally over the dumplings.
She hopped out of the kitchen and placed the bowl squarely in
front of Ranma. "This one *just* for Airen. No repay debts or
give away, okay?!" she said in a threatening tone.

    "O-okay," Ranma began to dig into the bowl.

    Shampoo turned back to smirk at Ukyou, just in time to
see a silent, "NOOOO!!!" die on the chef's lips.

    "What?"

    "Akane ate the rest of Nabiki's ramen, and I'm out of
antidote!" Ukyou shouted.

    "Antidote?" Soun asked in a panic.

    "I only ate one dumpling," Akane squeaked. "I was just
curious."

    "WAAH! My little girl's been poisoned!" Soun wailed.

    "No!" Shampoo disagreed. "It infinitely worse than that!
"Akane get Passion Spice. Ranma too! Shampoo no have antidote
either!"

    "Hmmm?" Ranma asked, finishing off his bowl of
rokonomiyakiken. "Hrmmm... Spice? Mmmm... " He blinked and
smiled widely. His ears had turned red and his eyes seemed to
have turned a nice shade of orange. Shampoo happened to cross
his field of vision as he looked around. "Heya, Shampoo!"

    Akane's left eye twitched, but then it began to turn
orange as well.

    "This chance!" Shampoo exclaimed, grabbing Ranma's face
with both hand. "You tell Shampoo you love, yes?"

    "No, you hussy! He loves me!" Ukyou leaped over the
table and punted Shampoo out the open shoji. She grabbed
Ranma's hands and clasped them close to her chest. "Right
Ranchan? You love me?"

    "Hurrr..." Ranma began breathing heavily and his pupils
visibly dilated. "Oooh. Ucchan..."

    "Yes, Ranchan?"

    "Ucchan..."

    "Ranchan?"

    "Hey, look at Akane's tits, Ucchan! Don't you think
they've gotten bigger in the last few months?"

    "Ranma, you jerk!" Ukyou slapped him back and forth,
leaving his head spinning. "What about *my* tits?"

    "Ukyou," Akane warned, visibly shaking. "I think you
better leave. We all need to calm down and... and... kiss
Ranma's... I mean get over what ever you and Shampoo put in...
Oh, my!"

    "Now if you really want to talk about great breasts,"
Ranma noted, "my girl side is pretty hot. She's not around
right now, but that's okay."

    "Ranma!"

    "Airen quit talking about other girl's breasts!" Shampoo
screamed as she ran back up to the table, bouncing like only an
Amazon could. "Talk about Shampoo breast instead."

    "Ya knoww..." Ranma's speech was starting to become
slurred. "Ish w-w-w-eird, but... but..." Ranma shook his head.
"The besh breshs are... are... pert..."

    "Shampoo pert!"

    "Ucchan pert too, Ranchan!" The chef countered as she
got back to her feet. "You want Ucchan!"

    "... and firm... I want?"

    "Yes?!?!" Both girls demanded

    "He wants me, you hussies, so take off!" Akane launched
herself at Ranma, locking her wrists and ankles around his
neck. "Don't you, Ranma-baka? Tee hee!"

    "A-a-a-ak-ak--"

    "That's right, they're there for you to squeeze. Nice
and firm, huh? Not like flabby Shampoo's." Akane giggled
cutely.

    "Oh my!" Kasumi's hands went to her mouth in shock.
"Akane! You  shouldn't!"

    "You go, sis!" Nabiki cheered. "Even if it is the
spice..."

    Soun and Genma were in tears. "Oh, happy day, Tendou.
Our families will be united at last!"

    "My little girl is growing up so quickly," Soun wailed.
"Make your father proud, Akane!"

    "Sure thing, Daddy!" Akane reached down. "Ooh! Looks
like Ranma-baka's up to the task!"

    "Aaaakannneee---" Ranma groaned. That was the last
legible word he managed to utter.

    "Mmm... Squeeze harder, Ranma! I *like* it when you're
rough!"

    "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shampoo screamed. She pulled out a sword
and lifted Akane's chin with it. "Shampoo kill pervert-girl
now."

    Akane began to sweat in nervousness (and arousal).

    "Get in line, Sugar!" Ukyou shouted. "Sorry, Akane.
You've had this comin' for a while. Get her!"

    "Yipe!" Akane leapt from Ranma's arms and ran through
the house. Shampoo and Ukyou trampled across Ranma to get to
her. Ranma, not noticing the crushing steps, hopped to his feet
and looked forlornly after Akane. "Aaaa...."

    Nabiki looked down and noted the tent that had sprung up
in Ranma's loose canvas pants.

    "Wow! You better get going, Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo
might get more for they bargain for if they attack Akane right
now."

    Ranma grunted and nodded. Adjusting himself, he loped
off after the three girls. He found the trio upstairs at the
end of the hallway. Ukyou and Shampoo had Akane cornered with
their bladed weapons.

    "Huuuu..." Ranma warned, batting the two girls away with
barely a thought. "Kaaa..."

    "Oh, Ranma!" Akane moaned, collapsing into the martial
artist's unthinking embrace.

    "Ranma, you come away from girl right now!" Shampoo
cried, striking Ranma over the head with a bonbori. Ranma
shrugged off the blow and turned around to stare stupidly at
the amazon. "Hurrrr?"

    "Run, Akane!" Nabiki suggested from the other end of the
hallway. Ranma can take care of himself."

    Akane nodded and leapt over the other two girls. She ran
down the hall and blew a kiss to her fiancee as she grabbed
Nabiki. "Bai-bai! I'll catch up with you later, Ranma-bakaaaa!"

    "Urrhhh!"

    "Shampoo! You go kill Akane," Ukyou said in a reasonable
tone. "I'll stay here and make sure that Ranma stays out of
trouble."

    "Good plan. I kill Akane now!"

    Ukyou waited until Shampoo had vaulted down the stairs
to start laughing. She reached out and grabbed Ranma's hand and
began to lead him to the guest room. "Ohh, gotta keep you out
of trouble, Sugar. I think I know of a few ways."

    "Urrr?"

    Shampoo skidded to a halt at the bottom of the stairway
once she realized what she had done and charged right back up
the stairs just before Ukyou managed to drag Ranma into the
room. "YOU NO TRICK SHAMPOO LIKE THAT!!!!"
    
    "I wouldn't dream of tricking you, Shampoo! I was just
going to take care of Ranma while you took care of Akane."

    "Shampoo know *exactly* what 'take care of' mean!"

    "Well, we have him alone now," Ukyou said. "Why don't we
ask him who he really loves?"

    "That right! Who Airen love?"

    "Urrr..." Ranma looked back and forth between the two
girls and began to sweat.

    "Say you love me, Ranchan!"

    "Say you love Shampoo!"

    "RRrrrr...." Ranma growled, clearly lost in indecision.
The beast that currently inhabited Ranma's intellect knew that
while the two in front of him were indeed lovely, he would have
to pick one. There was also the memory of bluish-black hair and
temperamental pink lips causing havoc in his super-aroused
mind.

    Ranma was frozen, unable to decide.

    "He's completely non-verbal," Nabiki said, climbing back
up the stairs. "You'll have to eliminate some of the
competition before he'll be able to perform. For the low, low
price of only 5000 yen apiece, I'll watch him and you two can
go *eliminate* Akane."

    "How we know Nabiki no take advantage of Ranma?"

    "He's my brother-in-law! Seriously. Now, pony up..."

    Both girls reached into their pockets and paid the girl.

    Nabiki quickly counted through the wrinkled notes
pointed down stairs. "Akane's headed in the direction of the
high-school. If you hurry, you can catch her."

    The two girls ran down the stairs and out of the house.
They ran headlong towards the school. Furinkan was actually in
sight when Ukyou actually cleared her head long enough to
realize what Nabiki had said.

    "Oh no..."

    "What? What?" Shampoo demanded.

    Ukyou grit her teeth in ire. *He's my brother-in-law*,
Nabiki had said.

    "Spatula girl know something," Shampoo said, shaking the
chef's shoulders. "Give!"

    Ukyou bit down her gall and faced the amazon directly.
"I don't think that Akane would hide at the school. It's too
open... Akane's too wily for that. She's a tough girl like
that. Maybe..."

    "Maybe what?"

    "Akane's going to be hiding in a place we least
suspect."

    "Where?!?" Shampoo asked.

    Up above, the late evening sky began to darken and
lighting flashed ominously.

    "One of our restaurants," Ukyou said. "You check out the
Nekohanten, and I'll check Ucchan's. Hurry, before it's too
late!"

    Shampoo nodded and ran off. Ukyou turned and ran, but
not for Ucchan's.

* * *

    "Tee-hee!" Akane giggled.

    "They're gone, sis!" Nabiki encouraged the girl as she
stepped out of the closet.

    "Ranma-bakaaa!" Akane cooed before she sprinted up the
stairs."

    Nabiki ran after her, just in time to see Akane drag the
incoherent Ranma into her room. She hopped back down the stairs
and ran for the front closet.

    "Oh lordy!" Nabiki exclaimed. "What an opportunity. I
better get the camcorder ready before they begin!"

    "Oh, Ranma!" Akane exclaimed from inside her room in a
voice loud enough to carry through the entire house. "It's sooo
big!"

    Soun, who was standing in the middle of the tea-room,
looked up at the ceiling with a pained expression on his face.
Tears were running freely from his eyes and he unashamedly
wiped his nose and face with the sleeve of his dark cotton gi.

    "Oh, Akane! You're such a big girl now," the man wailed.
"You're mother would be so proud!"

    Genma, standing nearby, grunted in agreement, his face
similarly affected.

    "Oooh! Squeeze harder!" Akane screamed.

    "No!" Kasumi shouted from across the tea-room. "I'll not
allow it! Akane's too young to become a woman!"

    "Daughter," Soun countered, dodging in front of his
eldest and the bokken she carried. "You must allow your sister
her... her..."

    "Oh, Ranma! Now, Ranma! Yeehaa!!!"

    "Urr..." Soun stared at the ceiling in shock.

    "If he hurts her, I'll be very cross!" Kasumi warned.

    "Kasumi, dear," Nodoka placed a petite hand on her
shoulder.

    "Aunty, what--?"

    Before Kasumi could speak, Nodoka, who was clad only in
a skimpy lace teddy and thigh-high stockings had the girl
hogtied and bound to the table. Kasumi looked up in horror.
"Aunty!!!"

    "This is for the best, Kasumi. You see, I too, have
consumed a Passion Dumpling and know the hidden fires which it
ignites. Genma!" Nodoka's voice was like the crack of a whip.

    "Yes, dear!!!!"

    "Akane and Ranma must be allowed to continue their--"

    "Oh yessss! Deeper, Ranma! Harder!!! Oh, GOD!!!!"

    "Ahem..." Nodoka continued as it started to rain
outside. "I see no problem there, Take me to bed, Husband."

    "Absolutely!" Genma picked up the woman, threw her over
his shoulder and ran upstairs to the guest room, her feet
kicking in excitement.

    "Father," Kasumi commanded. "Untie me so I can go save
Akane!"

    "Urrr...."

    "Father!"

    "Please don't hate me!!!" Soun wailed, choosing
discretion as the better part of valor. He ran off, leaving a
yellow streak in his wake.

    "Nabiki! Untie me right now!"

    "Ohhhyesohyessssohhhh.... OOHHHHRAAAANMAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

    "Okay," Nabiki said, chuckling. "I think Akane's had a
chance to get what she wanted so--"

    "Not so fast, Miss Tricky!" Ukyou shouted as she burst
into the room. "Where's Ranma?"

    "AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

    "Vocal, Isn't she?" Nabiki said, thinking aloud. "That
girl has *got* to learn to tone it down."

    "Nooooooooooooo...." Ukyou wailed, collapsing to her
knees. The large battle spatula she had been weilding bent in
her hands.
    
    Nabiki chuckled and glanced toward the ceiling.

    "Again, Ranma-baka!" Akane shouted. "Yes! I think you
can move my ankles--- Yes! Just like that!!!!"

    "This is your fault, Nabiki!" Ukyou growled, tossing
aside her ruined spatula. She leapt at the middle Tendou girl,
who barely managed to dodge.

    "Sorry, no refunds!"

    "Die, bitch!" Ukyou belted Nabiki in the face, knocking
the girl to the floor.

    Nabiki sat up, probing at her injured eye. She saw the
killing expression on Ukyou's face and darted from the room.
"Sorry, Kasumi! Gotta run! Need to stay alive. Bye!"

    "Come back, you whore!" Ukyou bellowed running after.

    "Somebody untie meee!" Kasumi pleaded.

    "Oh, yes, Ranma! Tie me up! Oooh! Tighter!!!!"

    Kasumi began to weep.

* * *

    Several hours later, Akane opened her bedroom window to
see a little purple cat meowing piteously in the back yard of
the Tendou residence. It was still raining, and the cat looked
like a drowned rat.

    Without pity, Akane grinned wicked and threw a glassful
of ice water out the window at the mourning kitty.

    "Oh, Shampoo's in heat. Go home, pussy-cat," Akane
called out. "There's nothing for you here!"

    "Miaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww...."

* * *

    "I... I really said all those things?" Akane's hand went
to her mouth in shock.

    Nabiki nodded. "And probably some I don't remember."

    "Aunty really tied up Kasumi?"

    "You better belive it. Your oldest sister is not a happy
camper this morning, so I'd watch out."

    Akane breathed a sigh of regret. "I'm not a virgin any
more. Oh..."

    "You had fun, didn't you?" Nabiki asked. "It certainly
sounded like it, at any rate. You've lost me a bet, you know. I
was supposed to be the first of the three of us to get laid."

    Akane nodded thoughtfully. "What will Ranma think of me
now?"

    The changeroom door slammed open and Ranma, as a girl,
darted inside in a panic. She dove into the dirty clothes
hamper and started shaking

    "Oh god, Oh god, I'm gonna die..."

    "What?" Nabiki asked.

    "Kasumi *yelled* at me!" Ranma said in horror.
"Something 'bout hurting Akane. Both our dads have gone nuts.
They're planning a wedding or something. Oh man... this is
bad..."

    "Hmm... They wouldn't have any reason at all to start
planning a wedding, would they, lover boy?" Nabiki teased.

    "What?" Ranma asked stupidly.

    "Don't you remember?" Akane asked.

    "Remember what?" Ranma said.

    "Keep you hands off Akane, you little pervert!" Kasumi
yelled, breaking into the changeroom, swinging her bokken like
a pro."

    "YIPE!" Ranma screamed and ran away, Kasumi following
just after.

    "He... He... He doesn't remember," Akane said, all the
emotion draining out of her voice.

    Nabiki winced in sympathy. "It must have been the spice.
He was pretty incoherent by the time the two of you got down to
cases last night." She looked at the crestfallen expression on
her sister's face. "I'm sorry, Akane. At least you've beaten
the other girls."

    Akane nodded, her face pointed down at the floor and her
fists clenched and shaking.

    "They'll pay for this," Akane swore. "They'll pay..."

    Nabiki nodded in agreement. "I swear, Akane. I'll help
you extract your rev--"

    "Oh, but first," Akane declared. "But First..."

    "But first?"

    "First, I'm going to give Ranma something he'll
remember! Oh, Ranma-bakaaaaa!"

    
* * *

Author's Notes:

This was bad bad bad. Passion Spice is one of the most overused Cliches in Ranma FF, and I used it anyway. Oh well... It was fun to write.

Ranma and Co. are copyright Takahashi-sensei, Shogakukan and Viz. They're used here without permission.

* * *

C. Jones - guilty@furinkan.net
http://www.furinkan.net

Watashi ha ultra-relakusu!