Date:
Tue, 27 Jun 2000 02:47:10 -0700
From:
Christopher J Olsen <GAMERS@prodigy.net> |
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Subject:
[FFML] [Ranma/SM]A Different Viewpoint: Curses
and Demonns:Chapter 8
Add Addresses
All Ranma characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi,
first published
by Shogakugan in Japan and brought over to North
America by Viz
Communications.
A Different Viewpoint: Curses and Demons:
Chapter 8:
The next morning, everyone gathered at the Tendo
Dojo for the ride
to the airport.
Nabiki handed Johnathon a sheaf of tickets.
"Well, it's not first
class, but these will get you to China in a few hours.
There's a
stopover in Hong Kong, then you'll change to a smaller
plane for the
trip into the in-country. I assume you'll be renting
a vehicle for the
remainder of the trip?"
##Hong Kong???
Ummm, try flying into Beijing. Then a flight to Xining
the Qinghai provencial capitol. OR fly into Shanghai
and go by rail. Longer but cheaper. OR a combination
of rail/bus/car/air. If you're going to fly into
Qinghai
use a float plane. Lots of lakes for landing. Not that
many runways.
http://severn.dmu.ac.uk/~mlp/railmap.html
http://www.syseng.anu.edu.au/~sito/trip/map-qin.htm
Johnathon shook his head. "Not this time, Nabiki.
Jusenkyo is
even
farther off the beaten track then the Children of
Osirus were. We'll
be
busing into a town in the foothills of the Bayankala
Range, and hiking
in the rest of the way. Should take us about a week
to get there and a
week getting back.
##Actually, if they use a float plane they should be
able to get
even closer. That area is famous for it's lakes.
We'll be a almost a week late for the beginning of
school, but hopefully it shouldn't be too hard for
everyone to make up
their classes. You and Ryoga will make sure and get
everyone's
homework, right?"
##<G> cute. however the idea of Ryouga making sure
they
get their homework is more unbelievable than the
cursed springs. ^_~
<SNIP>
Ranma sighed. "I should've known." He glanced
around and spotted
a
certain bandana clad Hibiki talking quietly with Akane
near the front
door. Ranma walked over to them and faced the lost
boy. "Hey, Ryoga,
I
appreciate you taking over my martial arts class
again. From what I've
seen, you've done a pretty good job so far. I want
you to keep pushing
them, they're ready to start learning some more
advanced stuff soon."
Ranma:: "Well, how did the class go while I was gone?"
Ryouga:: "Errrrr, well . . .ummmm . . .things went
really
well. And I thought they were ready . . . but there
was a----"
Ranma:: "WHAT HAPPENED!"
Ryouga:: {Hands Ranma a squeegee and a bag with a bit
of ribbon poking out of the top} "It was just a
_little_ boulder."
Ryoga looked a little irritated. "Pretty good?
Hey, I thought
I've
been doing better than pretty good! I taught most of
them the basics
of
all their individual weapon styles already!" He shook
his head. "I'm
not so sure about teaching any advanced techniques,
though. Even if
one
or two of them might be ready to start special
training, I'm not
certain
about letting girls as young and inexperienced as they
are learn any
really dangerous techniques."
Ranma nodded. "I know where you're coming from,
Ryoga,
## With great effort I suppress a direction joke.
But . . .Ryouga? Ranma? With a sense of
responsibility? With
_sense_?! (of any kind?)
I need to go back and re-read the earlier chapters.
I missed the part with the Pod-People. ^_^
<SNIP>
"I hope you won't be too uncomfortable in there."
Kasumi said,
looking dubiously at the cat carrier. "I'm sorry you
have to ride in
storage, Misty."
##Especially if they end up waiting for six hours on
the runway
and the temperature hits 130 + degrees in the hold. Or
a case of
dry ice leaks and smothers her or they put her in an
unpressurized
compartment by mistake (or because the baggage handler
doesn't like
animals) or the cargo shifts and crushes her or . .
.well you get the idea.
One reason I NEVER fly anymore. (They won't let you
take an
Irish Wolfhound in the cabin with you) OTOH many
airlines will
let you take a small animal in a carrier. You might
have to buy a
ticket but it's MUCH safer and a lot more comfortable.
Now if you want a plot point, you could have "Misty"
get
lost in transit.
<SNIP>
Nabiki, Ryoga and Soun waved to the airport van
that had come to
pick up their friends and family as it drove away.
Soun sobbed freely
while he waved, then reached down to take one of
C-chan's front paws
and
wave slowly for the kitten.
"Say good-bye to your mommy, C-chan." The Tendo
patriarch told the
kitten, sniffing. The kitten, not understanding,
tried to bat at
Soun's
soaking wet mustache with it's free paw.
##LOL
Nabiki left the two men at the gate and went into
the house,
looking
in the kitchen for something to eat. < Uh oh.>
Nabiki's brow furrowed
as she stared into the refrigerator. < In all the
rush, we forgot!>
She looked in vain for something resembling leftovers,
but while their
seemed to be plenty of ingredients, there was nothing
already prepared
in the kitchen. < With Kasumi gone, there's no one
here who knows how
to cook!>
## "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
Nabiki starts weeping, washing away the doujou
and half of Nerima.
She grimaced at the thought of ordering takeout for
two
whole
weeks while her sister was gone and began thinking of
possible
solutions. "Maybe Auntie Nodoka could stay with us
while Kasumi and
everyone are gone...?" Nabiki shook her head. "No,
that would mean
having to put up with Genma for two whole weeks, not
to mention him,
Auntie and Daddy trying to find me a husband. Sheesh,
you'd think they
would be satisfied with ruining Ranma and Akane's
lives."
##Then she realized she could sell Ran-ko to Kuno.
That should
keep her fed for a while.(Daddy of course was
on his own.) And if they survived the trip to China,
well then it would be Ran-ko's problem.
Nabiki frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose I could
try cooking... it
can't be as hard as Akane makes it seem." She
shrugged. "I have to
learn sometime, unless I plan on marrying a cook, or
someone who can
hire a cook." Nabiki went to a nearby cupboard. "I
guess I'll make
some Ramen. I've done that much before...."
As Nabiki began her preparations, Ryoga wandered
into the kitchen.
"Ah, Nabiki... er... I was looking for the Dojo...?"
Nabiki glanced at him in surprise. "And you're
still in the house?
You're getting better, Ryoga-kun." She frowned.
"Darn it, did Daddy
let you go off by yourself? What if you had gotten
out of the yard?"
Ryoga blushed in embarrassment and annoyance.
"I'm not a baby,
Nabiki, I don't have to be led by hand everywhere."
Nabiki just raised
an eyebrow dubiously. Ryoga frowned. "I don't! At
least I know
enough
not to go out of the gate!"
##Assuming he could _find_ the gate.
<SNIP>
It turned out that Ryoga knew quite a bit more
about cooking than
Nabiki did, given all the time he had to spend
traveling on his own.
##??? I'll take your word for it. Recall that Royuga
LIKES Akane's cooking. Which doesn't say much
for his culinary sensibility. ^_^
Plus, in most of the manga he's seen with Cup-O-Ramen.
He
wasn't as skilled in the kitchen as Kasumi, or even
Ranma, but he knew
enough to get by nicely. Nabiki took mental notes as
Ryoga prepared
lunch. Every cook had their own style in the kitchen.
Kasumi was
graceful and methodical in her cooking, while Ranma
cooked with energy
and flair, just like he did everything.
##Flair? Errrrrr . . .I'd have classified him as a
delusional psychotic
with depressive tendencies.
Johnathon, Nabiki had noticed,
cooked efficiently, as did Ryoga, with the minimum
effort expended to
get the job done.
##??? I don't know about this. Rouga's frustration
threshold
seems to be a little low for this. Seems much too
reasonable
for the "Lost Boy".
< That's how I would like to cook. Efficiently.>
Nabiki decided.
< I don't want to be a perfect housewife like Kasumi,
but since I do
need to be able to cook if I'm going to ever live on
my own,
##You don't need to cook. You just need to be able to
use
a microwave. To the best of my knowledge Salarymen and
Office Ladies in Japan eat out a lot or eat
Cup-O-something.
They do NOT cook. They don't have time.
<SNIP>
*******************************
<SNIP> a rather slow section.
Kenji flushed. "Er... yes. If there's
anything... well then you
should feel free to ask, all right? Anything at all."
Usagi was starting to blush bright red. "Dad!"
Ikuko nodded. "I'd be glad to explain anything
you don't
understand
to you, Usagi, if you have any questions."
##Usagi:: "Well, I have been wondering how to
do it kitty-style."
Usagi continued blushing, and stared firmly at the
floor. "Mom,
dad... I already know... all that stuff. So you don't
really...."
Ikuko took a breath, glancing at her husband.
"Yes, dear. They do
explain things rather well at school nowadays...."
##Hmmm . . .it might be classified under "Moral
Education" ^_^
http://leap.alcmn.org/LS/LS4/jschools.htm
OTOH the "Cram School" should be interesting.
Kenji grimaced and nodded, then stood up. "Well
then... that's all
I had to say...." He glanced at his wife. "I believe
that your mother
does have a few more things she wanted to talk
about... so I'll just
leave you two alone." Mr. Tsukino took the
opportunity to exit,
leaving
his wife alone with his daughter.
Ikuko took a deep breath then gave Usagi one of
her most
understanding looks. "Now Usagi, your father and I
did mean it when we
said that it wasn't... specifically, your...
preference, that had us so
worried. We understand that some girls do feel...
attracted to other
girls... and we're not going to love you any less if
you happen to feel
that way."
##Ikuko:: "But if you don't give us grandchildren to
take care
of us in our old age I'll kill you."
Usagi took a deep breath, counted to ten, and
smiled calmly. "I'm
very glad to hear that mother...." Ikuko tensed up in
anticipation.
"But." Usagi continued slowly, enunciating carefully.
"I... am...
not... a... lesbian!"
##Usagi:: "Now if you'll excuse me I have to go
study with my friends. We're only naked because Ami
says it lets our brains breath."
She looked her mother straight in the eye. "I
like boys, OK? I really like boys!"
##<G> No kiddin'.
Ikuko nodded. "I believe you, Usagi-chan, really.
Is there any
boy
in particular that you'd like to tell me about?" She
leaned forward
conspiratorially. "Just between us girls, all right?"
## Usagi:: "Don't you remember mom? Mamoru. The
college
boy I was going out with when I was 14."
<SNIP>
Ikuko giggled. "I may be your mother, dear, but
I'm not dead. I'm
glad you told me about him." She leaned her head
slightly to the side
in interest. "So, have you two done anything yet?"
##Ikuko "Don't forget those grandkids to take care
of us when we're old."
<SNIP>
"Nothing, Dad!" Usagi shot back angrily. "We
only kissed!" < A
couple hundred times....>
Usagi's father looked like he was about to have a
stroke.
"Kissed... kissed? My baby, and that Mamoru
Chiba...?"
Shingo pumped his hand. "Way to go, Sis! I
didn't think you had
it
in you!"
Ikuko sighed. "Really dear, it's just a kiss.
##Actually many Japanese parents will not kiss in
front of their children. A kiss is considered VERY
sexual.
Not at all casual.
(Recall that Akane booted nekoken-Ranma
into the pool after their "kiss". And the whole
Romeo/Juliet bit.
http://bookbuzz.com/panati/love.htm
Nothing to be
worried about." She turned back to Usagi. "I think
it's perfectly
fine
for you to have a boyfriend at your age. I'm sure Mr.
Chiba would
never
do anything improper...."
Usagi shook her head quickly. "No way mom! My
Mamoru-chan is a
perfect gentleman! He's a regular knight in shining
armor!
Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, polite,
hungry...!" Usagi
trailed off. "No wait, I'm hungry...."
##LOL
IMO you should have gotten to this line sooner.
<SNIP>
**************************
Mamoru Chiba lounged in front of the T.V. "pulling
a Usagi" aka,
goofing off. Luna whistled in the background as she
practiced the
intricacies of folding laundry. She didn't begrudge
Mamoru his down
time, as he had been studying hard getting ready for
his next semester
when he wasn't at work or sleeping. He would have to
cut back when
school started up again next week, so he was putting
in a lot of over
time now. A knock came at the front door and Mamoru
rose to open it.
Usagi barreled inside the moment he turned the
doorknob, nearly
bowling him over. "Mamo-chan!" She screeched
joyfully, hugging him
tightly. "Oh Mamo-chan! I'm free! Free at last!"
She took a step
back and grabbed his hands, and started jumping up and
down excitedly.
"I get to spend time with my hunk meister, yippee!"
## "hunk meister"??? You've been watching the dub's
again, haven't
you. :(
<SNIP>
Usagi was immediately distracted away from
imagining her boyfriend
in his underwear by the promise of food.
##LOL
I think you just invented a new form of birth control.
Rocky Road. ^_^
<SNIP>
*********************
<SNIP>
She found the black hair dye and
brought it out. "Now, we'd better do everything this
time, your
natural
color is starting to show again." She approached the
cat on her bed.
"Now, how do you want to do this... as a cat, or as a
girl?" Her eyes
twinkled, giving Artemis a hint about which she would
prefer.
## "Meow!"
Artemis swallowed. "Er... whichever is easier,
Minako-chan, just
as
long as you remember that your mother is home... we
don't want to
repeat
what happened to Usagi and Luna, do we?"
Minako pouted. "You're no fun." She sighed. "I
don't understand
why we can't just tell mom that you're my lesbian
lover from France?"
Artemis sweated slightly. "Well... for one thing,
I don't speak
French...."
Minako shrugged. "OK, how about Australia?"
## "I don't speak French."
Artemis frowned. "Well... I guess I could pull
off the accent...
but that's not the point. I mean, wouldn't your
mother be a bit
shocked
to find out you're sleeping with another girl?"
Minako shrugged. "Nah... mom sat me down a couple
days ago and
told
me she didn't care if I liked girls or boys.
## "She explained that there _are_ no heterosexual
Japanese
women. They're all imported from Iowa."
<SNIP>
Artemis shook his head. "No. No, Minako-chan, I
don't regret
anything we've done together. Not any of it." He
gave her one of his
usual cocky grins and looked away, not wanting her to
see the look of
guilt on his face. < Oh Luna... I am sorry.>
## <But it's fate. All magical girls are lesbians.
It's a rule.>
Minako noticed anyway and smiled knowingly. <
Don't worry,
Artemis. The Senshi of Love is on the case!>
## <And on the kitchen table, and the sofa, and . . .>
*******************
<SNIP>
<SNIP> a rather long and bland bit of
exposition that doesn't seem to actually DO
anything.
<SNIP>
Luna (as Diana) spoke up. "Ryoga-san, could you
tell us what
happened to Ranma? He's a good friend of ours."
##Actually, since you've identified Luna as Diana
earlier in the
story I think you could just use Diana here.
<SNIP>
From the back of the group, Setsuna frowned. <
Why didn't I see
this coming? Is my sight completely useless when it
comes to
Jusenkyo?>
## <and why can't I have a pet that turns into
a really cute girl?>
<SNIP>
The last thing we want is for all this to get on the
cover of
some tabloid." She looked meaningfully at Umino. "Or
showing up on
someone's web page...."
##Cute
<SNIP>
Ryoga was wondering much the same thing. < Oh my
god... if they
know about Jusenkyo... do they know about my curse?
What if they don't
and they find out? Who would want to learn from
someone who turns into
a pig?> Ryoga forced himself to calm down. < Take it
easy, Ryoga, if
they know, they haven't said anything, and if they
don't... I'll just
have to make sure they don't find out. I managed to
keep Akane in the
dark for almost a year. There's no reason I can't
keep my secret safe
for a while longer....>
##Un-fortunately Makoto had a craving for Pork Buns
one evening with
tragic results. Fortunately Magical Girl Lesbians
(MGL)are a universally
happy and well adjusted bunch and Makoto soon
recovered from the trauma
of accidentally cannibalizing her sensei.
<SNIP>
*******************
<SNIP> a rather dull and
depressingly heterosexual Shampoo. :(
*******************
"Niayo!" Shampoo announced cheerfully as she
entered the clinic's
front door.
A little old lady smiled at her. "Ah, how sweet."
She turned to
the doctor. "Well then, thank you very much for
treating my back,
Doctor. I'll just leave you two love birds alone
then." She giggled
and hurried off, swinging the sign in front over to
closed as she went
through the door."
Dr. Tofu shook his head. "Ah well, we might as
well close up early
anyway." He glanced at Shampoo. "Shampoo, I know
you've been
wondering
what's bothering me...."
Shampoo nodded automatically. "Nyes I did,
Tofu-chan!"
Dr. Tofu blinked. "Shampoo... did you just meow?"
## "Moiii?"
Shampoo's eyes widened momentarily then she smiled
at him. "Nwhy?"
## "Nawwww"
She stepped up and cuddled into his side. "Don't you
Nlike cats?"
Tofu blinked again. "Er... certainly Shampoo, of
course I like
cats."
##Please note that I manfully refrain from a "too, too
obvious" pun.
But it's hard. Really, really hard.
<SNIP>
Shampoo nodded. "All right. Why don't I make
dinner for us while
nyour out, Tofu-chan?"
The good doctor nodded distractedly. "That sounds
nice,
Shampoo-chan." He went to the door and opened it,
pausing and glancing
back at her with a slight grin. "You really do sound
like a cat,
Shampoo, its kind of cute... don't greet any patients
like that
though."
Dr. Tofu started off toward the Tendo Dojo. < I
wonder what's
gotten into Shampoo today? Is she trying to tell me
something by
acting
like a cat?> He mused. "Maybe this is her way of
telling me she's
considering jumping into the spring of drowned girl
and getting a
half-cat curse like Johnathon-kun...."
##<or perhaps this is foreshadowing. Shampoo keeps
meowing. And I'm
talking about hypnosis incense. Perhaps someone has
hypnotized Shampoo
into thinking . . .but that's ridiculous. I'm a man of
science. I don't believe
in silly superstitions like that.>
He considered a felinoid
Shampoo
for a few minutes. "I guess I wouldn't mind, if
that's what she
wants."
## "But it would be even better if I fell in the
spring of drowned
blond-nympho-with-tremendous-hooters. I'm so lonely
being one
of the only three heterosexual men in a Japan full of
happy, happy lesbians.
I've even started talking to myself."
************************
In a dark alleyway, a cloaked figure spoke quietly
to something
only
##Geeez, every alley in Japan must be full of Bad
Guy's. They're probably tripping
over each other. (I see a spam-fic in here
someplace.)
it could see. "So the doctor knows of a cure for the
incense? I see,
and he's going to check on Nabiki Tendo?"
A thin pale teenager came up from behind her
meekly. "Mistress,
that might be a problem. Nabiki Tendo was the only
one to know that I
had the incense, and Happosai. If she regains the
memories that I
locked away...."
The cloaked form sniffed. "Then the doctor must
be dealt with.
Are
your pawns ready?"
##Pawns?
"Are your cliche's ready?" ^_^
Gosenkugi nodded. "I have both brother and sister
under my control
now, mistress. They can act at any time...
but they will not be
enough,
and Happosai the others are already on their way to
China...."
The cloaked figured growled softly to itself. "If
it is allies
they
need, so be it. That can be arranged."
## "Now where did I put that number for "Thugs-R-Us?"
She spoke to the air once
more.
##Because, as a _really_ evil person it's beneath her
dignity
to _look_ at Gos. (Besides, she just ate.)
"Gather your troops, and kill Dr. Tofu immediately,
and before
he
reaches the Tendo Dojo!"
##That's some fast gathering. (I could make a joke
about Magic the Gathering, but I won't)
Gosenkugi nodded. "Yes mistress." The pale youth
slunk away
quickly, and she felt another presence leave as well,
leaving her alone
in the alley.
##Ahhhh, she was talking to the invisible presence.
You might
want to make that . . .errrr . . .clearer.
"Soon." The cloaked figure hissed to herself.
"Soon I will have
my
revenge, Kasumi Tendo!"
##Martha Stewart I presume?
End Chapter 7
##Overall:: well I read every chapter of this series
as soon
as it comes out. It's always a nice read, some
chapters better
than others. As anyone who has ever suffered through
my C&C knows
I don't like large chunks of exposition. I prefer to
integrate things into
the action. This chapter seemed very slow and
pointless. Meaning that
what was happening didn't really seem to lead
anywhere. And there
was, IMO, a LOT of re-hashing of stuff. (Ranma's
curse, Kasumi's curse
Lesbian sex with cursed kitties, etc.) There's no
doubt that you can write,
as evidenced from previous chapters. For what it's
worth I suggest a complete
re-write. Many of the scenes (Usagi with parents,
Minako with french-lesbian-lover,
Ryouga with class) could be MUCH shorter w/o losing
anything. Tighten up
the dialogue (especially with the villain, very
cliched) and give the chapter
some direction.
Again I really like ADV. There are several chapters
that I re-read I like them so much.
However this chapter seems rushed and lack real focus.
Looking forward to the next chapter. ^_^
=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus
"A man is a small thing, and the night is large
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany
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