Yet Another Akane/Green Lantern Fanfic (only this one is unoriginal)

Q. Why make Yet Another Akane/Green Lantern fic?
A. I'm glad you didn't ask.  While I was giddy at the idea of a Ranma character with a Green Lantern Power ring, I think I was first disturbed with the small teaser of Akane talking to the President.  Something seemed very off. I read the Disrupter's version of the Ranma/DC crossover, and though it was well written, I felt put down.
    Green Lantern is an American comic that is action packed, and adds characters and powers in order to increase dramatic tension.  Ranma 1/2, on the other hand, does not.  While Disrupter's fanfic is well done, it seemed to me like a GL comic starring a Ranma 1/2 character.  This story is an attempt to make a Ranma 1/2 comic with GL comic elements.  The difference? The former is a story that leaves the reader at the edge of his or her seat (or stool) while they try to guess how the hero (in this case heroine) can survive.  The latter is instead a totally ludicrous story that minds little about the space/time continuum as long as it makes the reader laugh.
    I cannot guarantee a laugh, but I can certainly swear that this story meets ludicrous quota.

C&C Welcome
(C&C standing for Cover-up and Cremate)

Yet Another Akane/Green Lantern Fanfic (only this one is unoriginal)
                By the Paper Tiger 1010

    Far away from Earth, somewhere in the cosmos so vast we cannot comprehend is a small, green planet.  On closer inspection, we find that the tiny planet that seemed green with teeming life is in fact covered in Astroturf.  On this planet stand two small figures with blue skin and oversized heads.  Their polo shirts and shorts are red and bear the symbol of the Corps lantern.  One of them is leaning over a golf ball as he takes a practice putt.  He tucks his white hair into his golf visor when the other figure interrupts him from taking the shot of a lifetime.

"Think about it Zigfrid, every single Green Lantern has either been corrupted, has sacrificed themselves, and/or has gone insane with power."

"Has not," Zigfrid said as he tried to concentrate on the putt.  If he made this shot, he could choose the next Green Lantern, not this loud mouth oaf.  That was the stake of the game.  When the two Guardians could not decide on who could defend the universe, they decided the best way to choose was on the fairway.  Heck, it was still a better method than how they choose the pope.

"Come on, Royce," the loud-mouthed Guardian interjected. "Bet'cha can't name ONE."

"Sure I can," he replied, still over the ball.

    He ran over all of the famous one's in his mind.  Gardener?  No, he abused his power, not to mention the fact that he was a pervert.  Sinestro was good... before he came a tyrannical despot.  One name stuck out.

"How about Hal Jordan?"

Royce burst out laughing.  "Jordan? He did all THREE! First he went insane and killed the Guardians and the Corps, then became corrupt and tried to reset time, and then he sacrificed himself! Man, just how feeble is your brain?"

Zigfrid stood perplexed for a minute.  Something seemed off about what Royce said.
"If Jordan killed all of the Guardians except for Ganthet, how can we be..."
    But the two powerful Guardians did not ponder the issue further, as an even more powerful force intervened, the infamous plot-hole.

Royce continued his inquiry.
"Come on, you old fart, I just try think of a GL who didn't lose it."

    Zigfrid muttered under his breath.  Old Fart indeed, he was only a century or two older.  Zigfrid swung the putter back and was making the putt of a life-
"BZZZZZ! Time's up, Old Fart!" Royce shouted in his ear.
    Zigfrid fell to the ground holding his head as he saw the ball teetering over the hole and then stop at the edge.
"Aw, looks like you missed, Zigfrid. Too bad," the oaf said sarcastically.
"Only 'cause you yelled in my ear, you moron!  You and your stupid wagers."
"Okay then, how about this.  I bet you that you can't give a Power Ring to a person for 1 day without him, her, or it dying melodramatically, abusing the power, or going insane with power."
    Zigfrid pushed back his golf visor.
"And if I could?"
"The winner gets to pick the next Green Lantern."
"And a Coke," Zigfrid added.
"Sure, why not.  You got 20 seconds to pick someone."
"WHAT?"
    Zigfrid wanted to shove his walnut-sized fist up the cocky Royce's nose, but he didn't want to waste time.  He telepathically made a projection of the universe.  Who to pick, who to pick... How about one of the center areas? No, too many disasters.  A GL would give his life before the hour was through.  The outer shell?  No, too many ties between civilization.  A GL would be too biased against other races.  How about Sector 2814? Jordan was from there, and so was John Steward.  Hell it took them a decade before they went nuts.  At Zigfrid's command, the screen zoomed in the hundreds of stars that made up the sector.  But what part of 2814 was Jordan from?  Damn, time was running out... It was... Earth! Yes Earth! The telepathic screen zoomed in on the blue planet.  Zigfrid looked around at the quickly orbiting planet.  How about the ocean? No, stupid, fish don't have fingers!  How about that big landmass? Nah, probably overflowing with problems.  There! An island! Perfect.  Zoom in more.  Okay.
    Zigfrid ran over the faces of all of the best choices within a small district.  Nerima.  How about the Girl with long purple hair? No, too angry. Same with the long-haired guy in white she was trying to impale with kitchen knifes.  He flipped through face through face.  The guy with panty hose around his neck? Nope, too....no.  How about him, with the pigtail? He seemed good.  Then again, he was attacking a large fuzzy animal.  Heroes really don't do that ('cept the Flash).  He zoomed in closer as the boy's kick connected to the panda.  Ouch, that guy must really hate that animal...
"3, 2..." Royce counted aloud.
    Her! The girl walking down the street! Perfect.  She looked caring and sensitive, but still strong and steadfast.
"Her! I choose that girl."
"Sure," Royce said coolly. "I'll head down there and give her the ring if you put away my clubs."
"Deal."
    Zigfrid zoomed in on the girl's image.  Her hair was short, a little tomboyish, but she still looked cute.  She seemed quite pleasant.  Maybe she's an athlete, into gymnastics or swimming.  She's probably dating a guy on the Honor Roll.  A levelheaded girl.
    So much for the Guardians being the Ultimate Knowledge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    It was a beautiful day in Nerima.  Akane was in a particularly happy mode as she looked through the grocery stands.  Kasumi insisted that Akane cook tonight so she could get practice, which meant that Ranma would eat at Ucchan's or at the Cat Cafe.  Her cheerfulness started to dull. Akane repeated to herself that she didn't care where Ranma ate.  She repeated this while she crushed an eggplant in her palm.  Akane blushed and picked up another eggplant off the stand.  She must be more careful, she needed the perfect eggplant for the Key Lime pie.

"Akane!"
    Akane turned with fists clenched tightly in response to the high elderly voice.  With an upper-cut she sent the incoming midget flying.  She breathed a sigh of relief as the form's shriek faded away with distance.  She cheerfully resumed shopping.
    Akane paused.  Since when was Happosi blue?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Royce winced as Zigfrid placed the bandage on his forehead.
"Why in hell did do that?" Zigfrid inquired.
"Which hell?" Royce retorted.
"Take your pick, over three trillion worlds believe in it."  Zigfrid's field was universal religion.
"I pick hell Number 20 billion, 567 mill-"
"It doesn't matter," Zigfrid interrupted. "Why did you jump at the girl?  I thought humans greeted each other with bows and handshakes."
"I thought so too, but according to files Nerima is different.  In the last decade, 79% of all salutations include a fast paced bear hug."
"Weird."
"No, just f**ked up.  Those people are nuts."
"Maybe they are more in touch with their emotions," Zigfrid proposed with a smile.
"Easy to guess which emotion that Akane is in touch with," Royce muttered as he rubbed his forehead.
"Either way, we have to give her that ring.  Unless you want out of this bet," Zigfrid stated, half-hoping he could weasel out.  This Akane was looking less and less like the perfect Green Lantern.
"Oh no, you ain't getting out that easy.  And this time, you have to give her the ring."
"ME?" Zigfrid gasped.  He pushed his white hair back over his head and tried to regain his intellectual fa�ade.
"Perhaps, my dear Royce, this Akane would be more... likely to accept our presence if we both went together.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"
    Smooth, Zigfrid.  Royce will never see it coming.
"You're saying that it would be safer to travel in pairs."
    At that moment Zigfrid really hated Royce.
"You're afraid of your ring bearer.  Admit it. Admit it, admit it, ad-"
    Royce's taunting stopped as Zigfrid pressed the bruise on Royce's head.  Screams of pain followed.
"I don't care," Zigfrid said, "we are going together.  Or Else."
"Or else what?"
    Zigfrid poked the bandage another time.  More screaming ensued.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Akane continued her shopping with no unusual interruptions.  Of course Shampoo tried to run her over while delivering ramen (killing two birds with one stone), Kuno tried again to profess his endless love, and Akane unwittingly picked a plastic fruit from Tsubasa's fruit stand costume, but nothing out of the ordinary.  That is to say, nothing until she saw a glowing light in an alley way.
    What could this be, thought a slightly peeved Akane.  A magical lesser demon with the intention of kidnapping her?  A portal to a parallel universe full of Senshi scouts or varied versions of herself?  The most likely explanation was someone fell in a Cursed Spring of Drowned Anglerfish and was out to get Ranma.  In this case, none of them are true.
    She turned into the alleyway to see a small green light fading slowly.  As she came within hands reach of it, the ball vanished.
"Well, that was a waste of my-"
    Akane turned to see the entrance to the alley blocked by two miniature blue men in red robes.  The one on the left had a bandage on his bald forehead and a look of uneasiness on his face.  The on the right spoke up.
    "Akane Tendo.  You have been chosen to wear the Ring of Power out of the billions of ... billions.  This ring carries power equal to your imagination, can perform any feat or act that you will.  With this ring comes the responsibility to keep order and justice.  We have deemed you-"
    A small snicker came from the bandaged one.
"We expect you to uphold this sacred pow-"
    Again the one on the left barged in, this time with a snort.
"We expect only the best of-"
    The snickering crescendoed until the blue oaf was clutching his sides, rolling on the ground with laughter.
"What's with him?" Akane inquired.
"I think he's gone 'MAD with POWER'," Zigfrid replied as he kicked his counterpart, who was still rolling uncontrollably.

"Um, the ring?" Akane asked.  If she was having a dream, she wanted it over with.
"My bad."
    The blue midget withdrew a green ring from his tunic and handed it to Akane.  Hesitating just a moment, she slipped it on her left ring finger.  Her clothes faded away in a green light, with a green costume in their place.  She wore the normal green spandex top with the Green Lantern symbol on the chest. Unlike the customary Green Lantern suit, Akane's was sleeveless and leg-less.  At her waist she wore a black miniskirt, much like a school-girl uniform.  She wore green and black boots and a Green headband.

"What the heck?" the two Guardians said in unison.
"Wow, I'm a Magic Girl!" Akane said proudly.
"Okay, we will teach the basics.  The easiest thing for all Green Lanterns is flying.  Just imagine yourself flying."
    As Akane focused her mind, a green aura formed around her.  She tried harder and harder, pushing her mind to its peak.  She lifted her eyes and smiled.
"Neat! You guys look so small!"
"We were small to begin with. You haven't left the ground!" the bruised one snapped.
    Akane had in fact gone nowhere.
"Akane, we must be leaving to do... cosmic... things.  The ring can answer any questions you might have.  It will be an incredible tool," Zigfrid said before murmuring, "if you learn how to use it..."
    A small portal opened up and the two stepped in.  Before it closed completely, the bandaged one stuck his head out to ask a question.
"Don'tcha want a mask or something?"
"Haven't you ever read Sailor Moon?" Akane replied. "All they do is waltz around in a change of clothes and no one recognizes them."

    Akane tried to imagine herself flying.  She gasped as she felt herself float off the ground.  She looked down... at the two inches she had raised herself.  Akane gritted her teeth, flailing around until she started rising slowly.
    After twenty or so minutes of flapping her arms, Akane finally made it to a rooftop.  She peered out at Nerima.  All of it was now hers to defend, her playing field.  She was no longer in the same world her friends and peers, she was above them all.

"Hey Akane."
    She turned to see Ranma jump to the roof of the same building in 2 seconds flat.  He had his hands in his Chinese pockets and his normal smirk on his face.

"How did you know it was me?" Akane asked outraged.

"What are taking about? All you have is a change of clothes.  This isn't one of your Magical Girl shows.  You'd have to be pretty stupid to think no one would recognize you."

    Akane tried to kick to smug boy but he yet again jumped over her leg.  He began casually jumping from rooftop, with Akane lividly flapping her arms to catch up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why didn't you give the girl the Lantern itself?  Without it, the ring will run out of power within 24 hours."
"Exactly the point, my dear numskull," Zigfrid said to his slower partner.
"I get it.  Whether she becomes corrupt or," chuckle "she does job well, the ring becomes useless after a day."
"And what can happen in day?"

    We know better than that.

END
Chapter 2: Enter Mr. Bubbles!

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