Scenes we'd love to see in Lemons.
By A-kun, A-chan, C-chan and TharzZzDunN

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Disclaimer: Any and all characters shown in this will most likely be engaging in pre-marital sex.  All personalities are bent to the will of the Authors and should NOT be considered the real deal.  We lay claim to the perversion that lies within and no one should take this seriously whatsoever.  And if you find something that's incredibly stupid or weird, it's probably TharzZzDunN's fault.
TharzZzDunN: Stupid poo-poo heads!  BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*WHAM*
A-kun, A-chan and C-chan: [in perfect unison] TharzZzy NO BAKA!
A-kun: If you feel nauseous, bloated, dizzy or get stupider, it is not our fault.  You shouldn't be having sex while trying to drive and read a fanfic. ^_^  BEEEEDAH!
TharzZzDunN, A-chan and C-han: [in perfect unison] Tharz-er, A-KUN NO BAKA!
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    FF7

    "God, Tifa, you were fabulous." Cloud said.
    "Mmmmm." Tifa replied.
    "Oatmeal Pie (tm)?" Cloud asked.
    "Thanks, I've had a hankering for one of these all day." Tifa said.

    "Oooooh, I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!" Barrett said.
    Everyone covered their butts and ran like hell.  Of course, Red XIII looked a bit silly doing that.

    "OOooooh!"
    "AAaaaaaaAAAH!"
    "Awwwww!"
    "Hey, Tifa, when did your ass get so hairy?"
    "Cloud, get your hand off my ass."
    "Sorry Barrett... BLEAH!"

    "Hey, Tifa, wanna go in the closet?"
    "Naw, Red XIII and Yuffie are in there."
    "How about the engine room?"
    "Vincent and Aeris are down there."
    "I thought Aeris died."
    "She did."
    "BLEAAAH!"

    "OOOOOOH!  You feel like Lightning!"
    "OOOOOOH!  You feel like Odin!"
    "OOOOOOH!  You feel like Leviathan!"
    "I wish Yuffie had a different way to tell Materia from each other." Cloud commented.
    "OOOOOOH!  This is FIRE!"
    "And I wish she hadn't gotten Aeris and Tifa into the habit." Barrett added, glancing at the bathroom door where the girls were currently 'examining' the materia.
    "I know, I've had to wizz since Nibelheim." Red XIII complained.

    "So, Yuffie, where's the bad guy?"
    "There isn't one, Cloud."
    "Then, why did you summon Shiva, Ifrit, Odin and Titan?"
    "For fun."
    "Oh, whew!  Here I thought you were going to have sex with them."
    "S'okay.  Come on, guys, let's go play 'Doctor' again." Yuffie said, running off.
    Cloud sweatdropped.
    "Um, why do I get the feeling that she IS going to have sex with them."
    "GET THE EEG MACHINE IN HERE!  HE'S DANCING!" Yuffie cried.
    "OH!  She's playing 'ER'." Cloud sighed in relief as he wandered off.
    "PSST!  Yuffie, he's gone!" Leviathan said, slithering out of hiding.
    "Great!" Yuffie yelled, "YEEEEHAAAAAAAAHHHH!!  RIDE 'EM WILD STALLIONS!!!"

    Cloud slowly nibbled at her neck.
    "Mmmmm, Tifa, I think you need to trim some of these neck hairs."
    "Cloud, while I appreciate the affection, I'm not THAT hard up." Red XIII responded, before adding, "but give me a call sometime."

    "Gosh, Tifa, you're getting kinda plump." Cloud said.
    "Cloud, get away from the Moogle Doll." Cait Sith snapped at him.
    As Cloud retreated, Cait Sith cracked after him, "AND THERE BETTER NOT BE A STAIN THIS TIME!!"

    "Gosh, Yuffie, you've filled out nicely." Cloud said.
    "Cloud, you'd better reconsider the name you just said." Tifa said, growling as she put on her Tiger Claw gloves.

    "Gosh, Tifa, you've dropped a lot of weight from the hips."
    "While I appreciate the comment, Cloud, I'm not Tifa." Vincent Valetine answered.
    Cloud leapt through the hull and plummeted to his death.

    "MMMmmm, remember when we last did this, baby?" Cloud asked.
    "Cloud, while I appreciate the sentiment and the offer, I don't do humans.  Nice moves, though." Vincent answered.

    "HA!  TAKE THIS CLOUD!" Tifa and Aeris cried, tackling the person who walked into the room, stripping them naked and tying them up.  Then, they had wild passionate and incredibly erotic sex with them.
    "Hi, girls, what's up?" Cloud asked, entering his room and clicking on the lights.
    Tifa and Aeris looked up at Cloud, then down at Yuffie.
    "Ooops." the girls said in unison.
    "That was INCREDIBLE, even better than Cloud was a few minutes ago!" Yuffie moaned.
    The girls slowly looked up at Cloud, their eyes glowing with a menacing red and auras of energy encompassing them as they drew their weapons.
    "Ooooh!  Looks like another 'bout of S&M, eh girls?" Cloud asked.
    Barrett looked up from his cards.
    "Dammit, every week this happens!" he growled as he heard the all too-familiar noises from Cloud's room.
    "Yeah, at least Yuffie's a great piece of tail." Red XIII added.
    "And she's not even a screamer, like Tifa." Cid added.
    "Aeris isn't either, but she's got a great set of lungs." Red XIII commented.

    "BRAT!"
    "BAKA!"
    "USELESS FLAT-CHESTED WANNABE NINJA GIRL!"
    "FAT-ASSED CHAIN-SMOKING ASS-KISSING MILITARY-DROP-OUT!"
    "SKINNY-ASSED FUMBLE-FINGERED BAD-SMELLING DROP-HER-PANTS-FOR-ANYTHING BIMBO!"
    "Whew!  That was terrific."
    "Thanks, you still sore?"
    "Just a little bit."
    "Well, next time we just won't do it in the Captain's chair."
    The crew looked away from the sight and went back to work, adjusting their pants as necessary.
    "Hey, wanna get married?"
    "Why the hell not?  How does next sunday sound?"
    "Hmmm, no good.  My dad can't get out of the annual martial review for Wutai until next month."
    "I guess we can wait that long, but I'm not ever gonna let you go, my sweet little girl.  I just want you to know that I'll always love you, and I'll always be here for you."
    Yuffie just smiled through her tears of joy and kissed Cid deeply, but she thought to herself, 'That damned cigarette has got to go.'

    "Cloud?  I heard a strange sound coming from here-" Tifa began as she clicked on the light.
    She gasped.
    "AERIS?!  YUFFIE?!" Tifa exclaimed.
    "Tifa?" Aeris and Yuffie asked in unison.
    "What are you doing to poor Red XIII?!" Tifa asked.
    "It's nothing, just a thorn in his paw." Aeris said.
    "Oh.  Okay." Tifa said, leaving.
    "I wonder if she noticed our clothes on the floor." Yuffie asked.
    "Don't know." Aeris answered.
    "Hey...." Tifa exclaimed, walking back in.

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Rufus cried out.
    "OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!"
    "Hojo, what are yo-OH DEAR KAMI-SAMA!!" Elena cried as she stumbled upon Rufus and Hojo's best kept secret.

    "Ooooooh, Aeris, you still feel good, even after all this time." Cloud said.
    "Cloud, I don't mind Aeris joining us occasionally, but get over it, she's ASLEEP!"
    "Damn, I guess I tired her out too much.  Eight hours IS a long time..." Cloud said.

    "Hey, Cloud, you do know what they say about a man and the size of his sword..."
    "No, what?"

    "They were right.  I'm surprised that they knew, but they WERE right." Yuffie commented.
    "About what?" Cloud asked, weakly.
    "You DO have the stamina of a Chocobo." Yuffie said.
    "WHAT?!" Cloud demanded.
    "Well, you can't run eight miles an hour and not expect to get tired..." Yuffie began.

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    Slayers

    "Oooooh!  I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!" Rezo declared.
    Everyone covered their butts and ran off.

    "HA!  TAKE THIS GOURRY!" Lina and Amelia cried, tackling the person who walked into the room, stripping them naked and tying them up.  Then, they had wild passionate and incredibly erotic sex with them.
    "Hi, girls, what's up?" Gourry asked, entering his room and clicking on the lights.
    Lina and Amelia looked up at Gourry, then down at Sylpheel.
    "Ooops." the girls said in unison.
    "That was INCREDIBLE, even better than Gourry was a few minutes ago!" Sylpheel moaned.
    The girls slowly looked up at Gourry, their eyes glowing with a menacing red and auras of energy encompassing them as they drew their weapons.
    "Ooooh!  Looks like another 'bout of S&M, eh girls?" Gourry asked.
    Naga looked up from her cards.
    "Dammit, every week this happens!" she growled as she heard the all too-familiar noises from Gourry's room.
    "Yeah, at least Sylpheel's a great piece of tail." Zelgadis added.
    "And she's not even a screamer, like Lina." Rezo added.
    "Amelia isn't either, but she's got a great set of lungs." Zelgadis commented.

    "Eep!" Gourry squealed as he jumped out of his seat, he turned to glare at Amelia for pinching his butt.  The only person sitting next to him though was Shaburanigdo...
    Shaburanigdo winked at Gourry and licked its' lips seductively.

    Gourry slowly nibbled at her neck.
    "Mmmmm, Lina, I think you need to trim some of these neck hairs."
    "Gourry, while I appreciate the affection, I'm not THAT hard up." Zelgadis responded, before adding, "but give me a call sometime."

    "Gosh, Lina, you've dropped a lot of weight from the hips."
    "While I appreciate the comment, Gourry, I'm not Lina." Xelloss answered.
    Gourry leapt through the wall and plummeted to his death.
    "Big place." Xelloss commented to no-one in particular.
    Then, he looks up at you and waves.

    "OOooooh!"
    "AAaaaaaaAAAH!"
    "Awwwww!"
    "Hey, Lina, when did your ass get so hairy?"
    "Zelgadis, get your hand off my ass."
    "Sorry Gourry... BLEAH!"

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    Evangelion

    "OOooooh!"
    "AAaaaaaaAAAH!"
    "Awwwww!"
    "Hey, Asuka, when did your ass get so hairy?"
    "Shinji, get your hand off my ass."
    "Sorry Dad... BLEAH!"

    "Oooooh, I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!" Gendo said.
    Everyone covered their butts and ran like hell.  Of course, Eva 01 looked a bit silly doing that.

    "Hey, Asuka, wanna go in the closet?"
    "Naw, Maya and Ritsuko are in there."
    "How about the control room?"
    "Naoko and Gendo are down there."
    "I thought Naoko died."
    "She did."
    "BLEAAAH!"

    "Gosh, Rei, you've filled out nicely." Shinji said.
    "Shinji, you'd better reconsider the name you just said." Misato snarled, growling as she pulled out her gun.

    "Eep!" Gendo squealed as he jumped out of his seat, he turned to glare at Asuka for pinching his butt.  The only person sitting next to him though was Kier Lorenz...
    Kier winked at Gendo and licked its' lips seductively.

    "Gosh, Asuka, you're getting kinda plump." Touji said.
    "Touji, get away from the Moogle Doll." Shinji snapped at him.
    As Touji retreated, Shinji cracked after him, "AND THERE BETTER NOT BE A STAIN THIS TIME!!"

    "God, Maya, you were fabulous." Shinji said.
    "Mmmmm." Maya replied.
    "Oatmeal Pie (tm)?" Shinji asked.
    "Thanks, I've had a hankering for one of these all day." Ritsuko said, reaching over Maya to grab it.

    "MMMmmm, remember when we last did this, baby?" Kaji asked.
    "Kaji, while I appreciate the sentiment and the offer, I don't do humans.  Nice moves, though." Kaworu answered.

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Touji cried out.
    "OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!"
    "Kensuke, what are yo-OH DEAR KAMI-SAMA!!" Hikari cried as she stumbled upon Touji and Kensuke's best kept secret.
    They looked up from their VR game of Tron.
    "What?" Kensuke asked.

    "HA!  TAKE THIS SHINJI!" Misato and Ritsuko cried, tackling the person who walked into the room, stripping them naked and tying them up.  Then, they had wild passionate and incredibly erotic sex with them.
    "Hi, ladies, what's up?" Shinji asked, entering his room and clicking on the lights.
    Misato and Ritsuko looked up at Shinji, then down at Hikari.
    "Ooops." the girls said in unison.
    "That was INCREDIBLE, even better than Shinji was a few minutes ago!" Hikari moaned.
    The girls slowly looked up at Shinji, their eyes glowing with a menacing red and auras of energy encompassing them as they drew their weapons.
    "Ooooh!  Looks like another 'bout of S&M, eh girls?" Shinji asked.
    Kaji looked up from his cards.
    "Dammit, every week this happens!" he growled as he heard the all too-familiar noises from Shinji's room.
    "Yeah, at least Hikari's a great piece of tail." Touji added.
    "And she's not even a screamer, like Misato." Maya added.
    "Ritsuko isn't either, but she's got a great set of lungs." Rei commented.

    "Eep!" Touji squealed as he jumped out of his seat, he turned to glare at Hikari for pinching his butt.  The only person sitting next to him though was Kaji...
     Kaji winked at Touji and licked his lips seductively.

    "OOOOH!  PEN! PEN!" Misato cried.
    "I'm not Pen-Pen FOR THE LAST TIME!" Shinji yelled.
    "Sorry, Shinji, I had a flashback to college!" Misato cried.
    "Wait, Pen-Pen wasn't alive back then!" Shinji said.
    "Ummmm, you're right....." Misato said, looking around, not about to tell him what happened to 'Pen', her first hot springs penguin.  It was horrible what Kaji had done to him. (cause for this: Ever notice that Pen-Pen's collar read Pen^2?)

    He was quite proud.  It was at it's largest yet.  He'd have to show this off.  He turned the corner and found someone to show it off to.
    "Hey, Shinji!  Look!" Kaji said, pointing to it.
    "Kaji, pull up your pants before I have to hurt you.  Badly." Shinji growled, trying to avert his eyes.

    "Eep!" Eva-01 squealed as he jumped straight up, he turned to glare at Eva-02 for pinching his butt.  The only person next to him though was Sahaquiel...
     Sahaquiel winked at Eva-01 and licked its' lips seductively.

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    Dragon Ball Z

    "So, Goku thinks he can get stiffer than me, eh?  Well just see about that. Now, where's my starch?  I gotta get my pants harder than this somehow..." Vegeta mused aloud.

    "So, Goku thinks he can get a bigger stiffy than me, eh?  Well just see about that.  Now, where's my filthy sock collection?  I gotta get aroused somehow..." Vegeta mused aloud, causing Nappa to sue for custody of the children.

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    Bubble Gum Crisis

    "Wow.  Priss, that was fantastic, I never thought you'd be so incredible."
    "Now, now, I _do_ have some skills outside of the kitchen..."
    "_I'll_ say!"
    "Now, Mizuno-san, if you'd hand me the car wax, we can get started on the other motorcycles..."

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    Ah! My Goddess

    "Oooooh, I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!" Belldandy exclaimed excitedly.
    Everyone covered their butts and ran like hell.  Of course, Kami-sama looked a bit silly covering his three asses.

    "Eep!" Keiichi squealed as he jumped out of his seat, he turned to glare at Urd for pinching his butt.  The only person sitting next to him though was Aoshima...
    Aoshima winked at Keiichi and licked his lips seductively.

    "Oooooooh, Tamiya...."
    "Oooooooh, Ootaki...."
    "Oooooooh, Marller...."
    "Oooooooh, Kami-sama...."
    "Ooooompa-pa-pa oompa-pa-pa TharzZzDunN!"
    "CALL ME QUEEN!"
    "Um, Skuld?"
    "Keiichi?  Is that you?"
    "Uh-oh."
    "Anyone order pizza with wasabi?"

    "KEIICHI!  KAMI-SAMA!!  URD!!  SKULD!!!" Belldandy exclaimed, incredulous of what she was seeing.
    "What?  It's just a friendly game of poker, Bell-chan." Keiichi replied.

    "Hey, Keichii!  Got your wallet!" Skuld said, waving the leather money-carrying item.
    "Hey, Skuld!  Got your panties!  And your pictures!" Keichii replied.

    "Eep!" Belldandy squealed as she jumped out of her seat, she turned to smile at Keichii for pinching her butt.  The only person sitting next to her though was Sayoko...
    Sayoko winked at Belldandy and licked her lips seductively.  This was not what Belldandy had in mind.  {At least not before lunch.  After all, they were serving lutefisk in the cafeteria today. - TharzZzDunN's date with Priss}

    Keiichi uncomfortably opened up the new topic at the breakfast table.
    "Now Skuld, I don't mind you borrowing my bike seat, but clean it off before you put it back on, okay?  It was all sticky today." Keiichi said.

    "KEIICHI!  KAMI-SAMA!!  URD!!  SKULD!!!" Belldandy exclaimed, incredulous of what she was seeing.
    "It's not what you think, Belldandy!" The four said, pulling the covers up over themselves.

    "Ooooooooooooh.... that feels soooooo goooood...."
    "Mmmmmmmmmm...."
    "Hmmm?"
    "What?"
    "Um, Skuld?"
    "Yes?"
    "I'm Keichii."
    "Uh-oh."
    "Don't worry you two, I'm right here."
    "BELL-CHAN!?"
    "No, Washuu-chan.  WHO DID YOU EXPECT?!?!"
    "Hey, don't forget me!"
    "Oh, Megumi, we didn't."
    "That's nice to know, Sayoko."
    "Hey, Mr. Keichii, may I have the next one?"
    In the next room....
    "Peorth?"
    "Yes, Urd?"
    "I get the feeling we're missing something..."
    "Don't worry, Urd-chan, I think it's just Keichii making waffles in his bedroom."
    "Shut up, Artemis.  It has something to do with... ''Gettin' it on''?  Damn, I wish this divination spell was more accurate."

    "I see." the girl said.
    Keiichi walked in.
    "Oh, Urd.  I'm sorry to walk in on you like this, but Belldandy found her broom broken in half and she was wondering if you might know who did it." Keiichi said.
    "No.  Oh, Keiichi, I'd like to introduce my latest student.  She's not a goddess and it's bit complicated, but she'll be staying here.  Her name is Miko Mido and..." Urd began.
    Figure out where this is going.  ;)~~~

    "KEIICHI!  KAMI-SAMA!!  URD!!  SKULD!!!" Belldandy exclaimed, incredulous of what she was seeing.
    "Hahahahaha!  You're just in time to see me winning Skuld's hammer, Keiichi's bike helmet and Kami-sama's pants, oniichan!" Urd said, grinning.

    "HAHA!  GO F@#K YOURSELF, AOSHIMA!! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!" Belldandy laughed as she fired her vulcan cannon at the sleazeball known as Aoshima.

    "AR HAR-HAR!  GO F@#K YOURSELF, AOSHIMA!! AR HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR!!" Belldandy laughed like a sea captain as she fired her multi-tasking Romulan groin broiler/deep fat frier/karaoke machine with the harpoon-to-the-forehead-adaptor at the sleazeball known as Aoshima.

    "Ooooooh, Skuld..."
    "Ooooooh, Urd..."
    "Ooooooh, Belldandy..."
    "Ooooooh, Keichii..."
    "Yes, Kami-sama?"
    "This adjustable recliner was a great gift!"

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    Tenchi Muyo

    "Oooooh, I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!" Tenchi grumbled.
    Everyone covered their butts and ran like hell.  Of course, Azaka and Kamidake looked a bit silly doing that.

    "Hey, Ayeka, wanna go in the closet?"
    "Naw, Kiyone and Grandpa are in there."
    "How about the shrine?"
    "Washuu, Yosho and Kagato are up there."
    "I thought Kagato died."
    "_She_ did."
    "BLEAAAH!"

    "Gosh, Washuu, you're getting kinda plump." Mihoshi murmured.
    "Mihoshi, get away from the Tenchi Doll." Ryoko snapped at her.
    As Mihoshi retreated, with her pants around her ankles, Ryoko cracked after her, "AND THERE BETTER NOT BE A STAIN THIS TIME!!"

    "Gosh, Sasami, you've filled out nicely." Tenchi whispered into her ear.
    "Tenchi, you'd better reconsider the name you just said." Ryoko snapped, growling as she put on her whoop-ass gloves.

    "MMMmmm, remember when we last did this, baby?" Tenchi moaned, grinding his hips against his love.
    "Tenchi, while I appreciate the sentiment and the offer, I don't do humans. Nice moves, though." Kagato answered.

    "OOooooh!"
    "AAaaaaaaAAAH!"
    "Awwwww!"
    "Hey, Mihoshi, when did your ass get so hairy?"
    "Ryoko, get your hand off my ass."
    "Sorry Aeka... BLEAH!"

    "Sasami?  I heard a strange sound coming from here-" Washuu began as she clicked on the light.
    She gasped.
    "SASAMI?! MIHOSHI?!" Washuu exclaimed.
    "Washuu?" Sasami and Mihoshi cried in unison.
    "What are you doing to poor Noboyuki?!" Washuu asked.
    "It's nothing, just a thorn in his paw." Sasami said.
    "Oh.  Okay." Washuu said, leaving.
    "I wonder if she noticed our clothes on the floor." Mihoshi asked.
    "Don't know." Sasami answered.
    "Hey...." Washuu exclaimed, walking back in.

    Tenchi uncomfortably opened up the new topic at the breakfast table.
    "Now Sasami, I don't mind you borrowing the sword, but clean it off before you put it back on, okay?  It was all sticky today.  That makes me look bad in front of all those otaku-wannabe-heroes who show up on our door step every other week." Tenchi whined.

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