MOUTHFUL
by CrazyFic
crazyfic@hotmail.com

Disclaimer:  All disclaimers on other fics apply to this one.  If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to bow down before me, I have done my job.  If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to mallet me into a bloody pulp, I have done my job.  If by the end of this fic you feel that I am so great that you must send me money just so I could hurry up with my writing, send me an e-mail.... oh yeah, and I have done my job.

C&C definitely welcome

*****

Akane, the fianc�e with the cute smile, was (for the first time in a long while) feeling great.  It had been two weeks since that wedding.  The nerve of that BAKA!!!  Actually marrying Ukyou Kuonji!  After all they been through, all the times they were together and everything she did for him, the baka turns and marries the 'cute fianc�e'.  Even after sending him to the hospital after he made his announcement, Akane wanted to do much more to him.

But then her father and Mr. Saotome gave her an alternative.

A wishing mirror.  It would give her one wish.  That's all she would need.  During the wedding everyone was surprised at how quiet and pleasant she seemed (an exception was made to when Kuno tried to console her).
<Fools> she thought.  <I'll show them all. Especially those who betrayed me in the end.  The chef will wish she never met Ranma after I'm through with her.  And after I marry Ranma, I'll teach him for turning his back on the 'true fianc�e'.  Let those two enjoy their honeymoon while they can>  Akane�s mouth cracked an evil-looking smile.

Now, after two weeks of following the instructions on the map her father and Mr. Saotome gave her, she has the wishing mirror in her hand.  Now she was thinking of what to wish for.

What a bad time to start thinking everything 'awful' Ranma did to her and stuff not to do with what she initially wanted.

"I can finally have Ranma for my own and get rid of that chef!  All those times he insulted my cooking...I want him to acknowledge food associated with me as being good.  That he would not always call me uncute or such.  That ..."  Her thoughts started to get, um..well....  "...he would taste me, feel me and have me inside of him."  Her thoughts started to get emotional.  "And that he would stop staying all the stuff he said about my body.  Especially calling me CHICKEN THIGHS!!!!!!"

In a fit of rage, Akane finalized her wish.
"Magic mirror, I wish for all I said to happen."

*Granted*

Suddenly everything started to get dark for Akane.

*****
Two Weeks Later At Ucchans

"Ranchan, we got a package from Akane!"

"Hey, I haven't seen her for a while.  What is it?"

After opening the package, Ukyo looks a little surprised.  "Umm...it seems to be a cooked chicken."

Ranma was terrified.  "You don't think she's trying to poison us for marrying do you?"

Meanwhile, Akane was starting to get out of her unconscious state.  {What happened after I made that wish?}  She looks up and notices Ranma.  {I'm actually married to Ranma!  We must be getting ready for bed}

"Come on Ranchan!  I know that you don't actually believe that.  And her cooking has gotten better lately."

"You're right Ucchan." *sigh*  Ranma starts to think of Akane.  "I wonder where she is.  I mean, I really thought she was cute even when she wasn't smiling."

{HE DOES THINK I'M CUTE!}  Akane starts to feel happy until she realized that Ukyo was also in the room.  {RANMA!  What is that bimbo chef doing here?!!!!}

"Aw Ranchan, does this mean that you're having regrets marrying me?"  Ukyo said, teasing Ranma.

A big sweat-drop started to form on Ranma's back.  "Of course not!  You'll always be my cute wife."

{RAAANNNNMMMAAAAAA!!!! HOW DARE YOU!  AND STOP AVOIDING WHAT I SAY!}  Akane then realizes something.  She could see everything all around her without moving.  {Ummmm.... what�s going on?}

"Here, I got the knife.  Lets eat this chicken.  And don't back out Ranchan."

Akane notices Ukyo with a knife.  {What are you doi..}  Suddenly she feels a sharp sensation.  {Ow!  What was that?}

Ukyo takes a bite of the chicken.  "This tastes great!  Try some."  She gives a piece to Ranma.  "Maybe I should save some for later to make chicken okonomiyaki later on."

Ranma was stunned.  "Oh my!  It's absolutely delicious!  Akane is definitely getting better at cooking."

{Ranma you actually mean that?  You actually like my cooking!!! .... Wait one moment; I haven't cooked chicken in a while.  And why are you still ignoring me.  At least give me some of the chicken!}

"Here, I'll cut another piece."

This time Akane notices the knife going down on her to cut her up and then a hand going down to pull out what seems to be a piece of cooked chicken.  At that point all forms of logic in Akane's mind shuts down.  {Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um ......}  And that went on for a while.

Meanwhile Ranma notices something of what he's holding and is getting curious.  "Hey Ucchan, what part is this?"

"Oh that?  That's the chicken�s thigh."

"Oh.  Okay."  A while later Ranma comes to a realization.  "You know, after all this time I probably was wrong in calling Akane 'chicken thighs'."

When hearing that Akane could just sigh.  {At least I can hear that before I'm gone}

Ranma, though, wasn't done talking.  "Yeah, her thighs are much bigger.  I mean those things are HUGE!"

For a moment Ranma was on alert when he thought he could hear something.

{RANMA NO BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!}

Thinking that it's not much Ranma just shrugged his shoulders and took another mouthful of chicken.

THE END

*****
Notes:

If I see another commercial for "Chicken Run" I'm going to crack.

Oh yeah, another thing.  If you're an Akane such that you kiss the ground she walks on, feels that she should always get Ranma and have a happy life, or to the extent that you have dreams of being in bed with her.... you probably shouldn't have read this far.  Then again some of you probably would have wanted to be the one who received that package.


      ~Dedicated to those who feel that Akane's love for Ranma
                is so strong that it could be tasted~

              ~Dedicated to KFC.  They do chicken right~

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    Boy:  Grandfather, what do you think of CrazyFic?
    Gramps:  Extreme.  I just wish he lit his head on fire.
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