Grayson Towler wrote:
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"
{argh. Pet peeve: the KTA isn't an attack at all, and not a called
attack. It's a training method: master the KTA, get fast. Cologne was
surprised when Ranma adapted the speed granted him by KTA training for >a
multiple-punch attack. I know it's in the anime, but that's because >the
animators got it wrong. I think you gain less by using it than you >lose by
disgusting manga-fans.}
Hee. It's a bit weird to comment on someone else's comment, but this
struck me as something to ask. While I can relate to the manga more than the
anime, and the fact that the anime took the KTA technique (among other
things)out of context, what else can he shout when he does multiple punches
that will have the same affect as Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken? "HUNKA-HUNKA
BUNCHA-PUNCHES"!? Sorry, Grayson ^o^v.
Hey, Ukyou's working on her battle cries, you know. I've got to get her
away from the Elvis songs, though - she's tried "Heartbreak Hotel Hailstorm,"
"Jailhouse Rock Rage," "I'm All Shook Up Slam-Fest," and "You-Ain't
Nothin'-But-a-Hound-Dog Rapid Strikes." Terrible stuff, really.
Elvis must be looking down in horror from that alien planet he's vacationing on.
^_^
I think, if anything, it's just a way to express the power behind the
technique, a raging battle cry that all anime characters must do to signify
an attack. Where would Goku be without his "KAMEHAMEHA", or Kenshin without
his "Ryu Tsui Sen"?
I have to agree with you here - sorry Vince. I'm not a manga purist, but I
do consider it to be the definitive source of canonical material, against which
the anime episodes must be judged. To me, the idea of an Amaguriken special
attack doesn't harm the Ranma continuity, even if the attack isn't really all
that special. We see Ranma do the storm-of-punches thing often enough in
the manga anyway, so it wouldn't hurt for him to shout out something pithy
when he's doing it. It's an extension of the basic kiai principle (a shout to
focus your explosive power), with a bit of anime/manga liberty taken. There's
some sort of weird time dilution which goes on when you shout your special
attack name, I figure. I mean, here we have Kenshin moving faster than the
eye could follow to perform his succession technique, but he still has time to
throw out the whole proper name. It's a stylistic thing.
Yup, pretty much so. Anime temporal physics always makes my mind churn - there was
a hilariously funny anime where the entire show was based on a schoolkid trying to
work out how to use his ridiculously overlong technique name in combat and not get
thrashed by the opponent in the meantime.
Well, I've been meaning to comment on the whole story here, so this is a good
time to do that...
Yay! Bring it on!
the air and ocean about their sinuous, warring lengths,
cloaking their presence from mortal sight. It was the only
magic used in the bitter and brutal conflict.
"Dude! This surf is so gnarly today! What the heck could
be causing it?"
Ah, the blissful ignorance of mortals.
Hehe. ^_^
Yet the battle raised the delight for destruction that
remained at the core of his being and also something
greater, besides. Never in his five thousand years of
existence had Umibouzu felt the savage exhilaration that
pulsed through his massive body this very day.
Well you gotta figure that when you're a big guy like
Umibouzu, you just don't get a lot of chances to really
take it to the limit. I mean, ships just aren't that much
of a challenge. So it's got to feel pretty good for him
to really stretch his legs for once.
UMI: I don't have legs.
Er... whatever.
Umibouzu: Hmm, I really have to get myself a servant one of these days.
Ryoga: Hey, why're you eyeing me like that?
Ayakashi echoing across the water to slowly fade, lost to
the wind. The brief thrill of victory was quickly washed
away as his desperate adversary fastened jagged fangs into
his flesh, letting the weight of his confined body drag
them both beneath the waves.
AYAKASHI: That's it! I'll drown him!
UMI: Yeah, right.
Phil: See, I knew readers would figure it out and not get taken in by the dramatic
tension-- Oh wait, that's a bad thing, isn't it?
An Awakening of Demons
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
By Kagami
Chapter 11: Tenacity
That chapter name seems oddly familiar...
Glad to see you spotted it. I thought it kind of fitting, really. ^_^
Now did you pick up the other, more obvious fic title in the story?
"No," he said softly, "it's no game." Ranma caught the
faintest trace of a mental whisper from the Blue Dragon
directed to Moeru, <Calm yourself, daughter.> Daughter? He
shook away his surprise and concentrated on the red-haired
avatar of Seiryu, his senses fully focused and alert.
Hmm... so Ranma can overhear their telepathic conversations?
These demon powers are creeping up on him.
They sure are. :)
Ranma: I don't need no demon powers - I'm already a god at everything!
anything, and eventually he would tire. Man, he'd bet
anything Shukumaru didn't have these problems.
---
Deep in the mountains above Nagano, Shukumaru had an
entirely different view of her supposedly problem-free
situation.
She hurled herself to one side as the icy blast impacted
on the spot she had been standing. Cat-quick reflexes had
saved her from the first attacks of the Ice Maiden,
Shimoyake.
The dual-combat structure of this chapter is really sweet.
Vince and Gary already commented on the introductory
bits, and I think that you could probably tighten it up just
by going straight into the action, but I do love the structure.
Consider the intro bits removed, and I'm glad you liked the chapter structure -
I've been meaning to set this up in this way since Chapter 8b.
"Had enough, Shukumaru?" Shimoyake mocked, wintry cold.
"Surrender, and I shall add your frozen body to my
collection for all eternity - a quick and merciful death, I
promise you."
"Really? You'll do that for me?" Shukumaru's eyes
glittered with joy. "Can I choose what pose I get to be
in? Because it's always been my lifelong dream to
be a frozen statue for eternity. Let me fix my hair,
hold on..."
Nobody ever takes the villains up on these offers.
Shukumaru: Let's see - vengeance on the one hand and eternal perfection on the
other, which shall I choose-- Wait, 'eternal perfection'? Grr, Shimoyake, how dare
you mock me with my name?! Prepare to die!
Shimoyake: I think you read too much into things, Shukumaru.
widely, revealing a mouthful of sharp fangs. "Simple,
Auntie. Once we kill you, you won't feel unhappy anymore."
A page from the Dr. Kevorkian book of home remedies,
I see.
Jack-san: Feeling a little pain these days? No problem - eternal bliss awaits you
in the afterlife; just call AS Services today.
"Sometimes illusions can hold great power," the Black Rose
replied softly.
"What do you mean by that?" Ukyo asked uneasily, conscious
of the suddenly somber mood.
"Ohohohoh! You, who spent your life pretending to be a man,
should know better than anybody!"
I like this sudden bit of seriousness from Kodachi.
Thanks, I thought injecting it into a slapstick scene would provide a nice
contrast. Good to know it's done that.
"Because," Moeru said calmly as the small mandolin Ranma
had seen before reappeared in her lowered hands, "I wish to
make a song of your death."
"Poor Ranma's dead!
Poor Ranma is dead!
He's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene!
We laid him down to rest
With his head upon his chest
His fingernails have never looked so clean!"
RANMA: Will you knock it off?
Hehehe. How did you read my mind? Of course no one's heard Moeru actually sing yet.
terrible danger unless he did something. Fortunately, he
had a plan. "Akane," he said steadily, "please tell me you
hate me."
AKANE: Why?
RYOUGA: Because I'm P-Chan.
AKANA: RYOUGA YOU JERK! I HATE YOU
boom<
^_^ And Awakening comes to an early close....
FFML: Noooo, you can't just leave us stuck there!
Shukumaru: I win! But somehow, this victory lacks satisfaction.
At his nod, she continued, "Okay, you shoot a pillar of
heavy chi up into the air, and it comes crashing down
again, hitting you and everyone around you. But it won't
work for two reasons: those things" - she pointed to the
Saikin slowly trundling towards them - "are completely
soulless, if what Kodachi said is correct. You're in a
similar state after firing off a Shishi Hokodan blast, and
it doesn't hurt you, so I don't think it'll affect them
either."
Some people have expressed surprise at Akane's tactical
assessment here, but I thought it fit nicely with her
character. After all, she's not stupid, and she has become
something of a professional fight watcher over the course
of her association with Ranma. It would only make sense
that she'd be able to figure stuff like this out.
Yup, Akane's usually at these things, so Takahashi-sama often makes her the person
to realize the significance of a particular move. I'm simply extrapolating on that
to explanation, which I feel entirely within Akane's capacity.
Akane: You know, I'd almost think you were saying I wasn't dumb.
Phil: Well, yeah, so you can stop fingering that mallet now.
With his mother's image came another's, shorter in height
and less defined,
"Less defined?" I'm not quite sure what that means. Does
that mean his picture of Akane isn't as clear? That would
seem rather strange...
Yes, this is what I was getting at - Ranma's picture of his mother at that point
_is_ clearer than his of Akane. Why that is so is another thing entirely. ^_^
stage of the Wind of Flame and smiled tightly. This would
come as a surprise to Ranma Saotome.
On the whole I really enjoy your fight scenes. For some reason
this last line - "This would come as a surprise to Ranma" -
seemed to weak. I mean, she's planning to dust him with
this attack. If her attack worked, his ghost would be the
only thing with time to be surprised. I don't know, it just stood
out to me.
I see your point. I'll try to alter it to sound better or yank it entirely if I
can't manage a better replacement.
Akane, hearing Ranma's words above the crackle and hiss of
sparking flame, turned from the momentarily trapped Saikin
Wait, which words? Did Ranma say something here? It seemed
that a fair amount of time dodging had passed since Ranma
said anything, but maybe I'm not reading it right.
Well, I was trying for a logical reason for Akane to look over to Ranma, but you're
quite right about the length of time. I had a few concerns about it myself. I guess
I'll just make her look over at a whim. ^_^
warning from her single note, had saved him. Ranma hoped
the already released aura would be enough as he punched his
ice-cold fist into the center of the inverted spiral of his
own ki energy.
Hey... that seems oddly familiar.
Disclaimer: Any rememblance to a similar move written by the popular fanfiction
icon, Grayson Towler-san, is purely coincidental and does not represent any... blah
blah blah.
(With apologies to Yonge-san ^_^)
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"
His fist and body slammed her into the ground with the
force of a thunderbolt from heaven, flinging up a cloud of
pulverised stone dust.
I already talked about the technique name, but it does
seem like he's just letting fly with one punch here, rather
than a whole lot of them.
Um, I suppose I was trying for the manga version of the blow where Ranma unleashes
hundreds of punches at the same spot so it looks likes a single blow. I was also
attempting to minimalize the writing at that point - I may correct it.
powder. Shukumaru arose from the ruins of her crypt, her
countenance pale and with a horrific rictus grin painted
on, but undeniably alive.
Nice image.
Thanks.
"Umibouzu's seal can only be broken with time or through
the sacrifice of a human being. Did you not know that?"
Moeru noticed Ranma growing pale. "You could also search
for the god who granted this power to Umibouzu and ask him
to break it, but that's Susanoo. Finding him is near-
impossible if he doesn't want to be found."
Oops! The big lizard didn't mention anything about that one,
did he?
Ranma: Ya big lunk! Why didn't ya tell me about this?
Umibouzu: You didn't ask. Besides, what is another decade to you, anyway?
She was not certain, and so she could only wait and watch.
"Ranma," Cologne whispered to the silent, distant stars,
"if you cannot control yourself, if you prove a danger, I
will have to kill you," and, because she was old enough to
be realistic, she added, "if I can."
Getting to be kind of a tall order there, old gal...
Nod nod.
Another excellent chapter, Phil. I wish I had more to say about it,
but really I'm just enjoying the ride right now. Always looking
forward to more...
Thanks. The C&C is just fine and is currently being thoughtfully digested by the
fanfic author after eager consumption. >_<
Phil.
Grayson Towler
http://www.rigroup.com/~grayson/relentless