Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][BGC2040][Rewrite]Seven Days <Third Day>
From: David Johnston
Date: 6/15/2000, 6:13 PM
To: Kyhdin@aol.com
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

I still have a problem with Sylia revealing her secrets to Kit so 
easily.  A slower build-up and more indications that she's researched 
his background, or at least asked him a few questions on his opinion of 
vigilantism and boomers might help.  

The word is _rogue_.  Not "rouge", "rogue".  If boomers suffered from a 
syndrome that caused them to blush uncontrollably, people would have a 
lot less to worry about.  Also, you want to look for all those "its" 
which mean "it is" and turn them into "it's".

Quincy 2040's name is "Rosenkreuz", I believe.  It certainly isn't 
"Roeschroyitz"

Sylia should probably tell the girls that the "Phantom" is on the way 
with the batteries, and deal with who the Phantom is later.




-- .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---. | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'