For example even though I hate the mallet, I can't deny that it makes a
certain amount of sense to start out with a Akane mallets Ranma scene if
the actual story is about the revelation that Ranma is secretly Loki's
son and Akane is secretly Thor's daughter.
Oh, thank you! (I'm gonna get creamed for this!)
----------------------------------------------
Stock Uh-OH!
A Short Piece of Work By
The Ineffible
The Wonderful
The Insanely Great
The Modest
Patch Monkey!!!
{Applause}
As usual, the sun was rising over the unnaturally quiet prefecture of
Nerima. Birds were chirping, sidewalks were being wet down, and
surprisingly enough, every girl still had all over her underwear.
Then it happened.
A fine young lady, who really isn't very tomboyish at all and is of
course an excellent martial artist began to seethe, as she did often at her
strangely unlucky fiancee. Or whatever they were to each other.
"Ranma! How dare you walk in on me while I was fully clothed and
getting all my books ready for school and I really shouldn't have a reason
to hit you at all! YOU JERK!"
"Swing," went the Mallet.
"Swoosh," said the Air.
"Clonk-pow!" injected Ranma's head.
"Oooof," replied Ranma to the statement made by the mallet.
------
Meanwhile, up in Asgard, Urd was bored. (Duh. How often isn't she
bored? She's always fricking bored.)
So, to make her life more fun, an alarm went off. She leaned over and read
the message accompanying the alarm.
The Goddess of the Past (and Cupid of Love) chose her response very
carefully, and said that response aloud: "Oh, SHIT!"
------
In the hall of Bilskirnir, a small battle was being raged, one
considerably less deadly than Raganorok but no less furious.
"Damn it Thor! You already have a mistress and now you have a half-human
daughter too? What the hell were you thinking? I mean, seriously! That's
something that Zeus, that gallivanting jackass would do. Not you, 'Mr. I'm
the Protector of Gods and Humans Against the Forces of Evil'! No, you're
supposed to be strong and caring and not screwing other women!"
"But, Sif, honey. Darling! I'm sorry. I was not thinking! You
weren't in the mood at the time and I couldn't find Jarnsaxa anywhere."
"I'M A FUCKING FERTILITY GODDESS, FOR THE LOVE OF FATHER! I'M ALWAYS IN
THE MOOD!"
"Uh-oh," responded Thor.
-----
In another section of Asgard, a similar scene was taking place.
"Oh, Loki dearest? Guess what I just found out about?" asked Sigyn to
her husband.
"What, sweetheart?"
"Just a small tryst you had with a mortal 16 or so years ago, their
time."
"Um...well, you see..."
"Now, don't you worry. I know what you go through sometimes," spoke
Sigyn.
"I do love you, Sigyn."
"And I you, Loki." <But just wait until you find out who that kid is
going to marry. Hehe...I fooled the Trickster! hehe!>
----------------------------------------------
I'm gonna stop there...my brain is now fried.
----------------------------------
Jerry / Patch Monkey
Lord of Darkness, Brenin of Light
Reverend of the ULC
maddhatter@earthling.net jlevine@wam.umd.edu
http://maddhatter.cjb.net
"You can find true love in the Konan Empire,
but no fast food." - Miaka's Lesson
Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm a man of wealth and
taste. I've been around for many years, and I've
stolen many a man's soul and faith. Hope you can
guess my name.