Subject: [FFML] Re: C&C Re: [FanFic][Ranma 1/2][corrected draft][REPOST] Promises pt....
From: RanmaSolo@aol.com
Date: 6/11/2000, 4:01 AM
To: zema@uakron.edu, ffml@fanfic.com

In a message dated 06/10/2000 8:51:03 AM Pacific Daylight Time, 
zema@freewwweb.com writes:


 >     "Ranma, our... uh, experiment didn't have any side effects did it?" 
 > asked
 > Kasumi nervously.
 >     Ranma, "..."
 >     ^_^;
 >
 
 Now there's an interesting fic idea :)

    Yup, but I'm not gonna touch it myself. :) (Or at least not until I 
finish my Ranma/Ryouga pair-up fic, which I will continue some time, 
eventually... Only one weird fic at a time for me. :)

<SNIP>
 > end) but, limited knowledge aside, isn't that like... a LOT of money?! A
 > ridiculously lot of money?
 >
 
 That's only about 1000 dollars to start off and 500 dollars each following 
month,
 not too unreasonable to my way of thinking.  Then again I'm not exactly an 
expert
 on the costs of raising children, having just reached the point where I 
could
 reasonably have them myself :)

    Hehehe, :) Thanks for the correction. I've been told of my misinformation 
regarding the exchange rate. My.... GROSS misinformation. :)

 
 >     Why's Akane being so pissy? As in why are you writing her like that? 
 > If
 > there's an in-story reason I'd really like to know what the hell it is.
 >
 
 She's in a bad mood?  *shrug* It could just be something as little as that,
 although it does seem a bit forced.  Not that I'm not a fan of Psycho 
Bitch 
Akane
 ;) j/k

    As a joke or slowly developed over time I don't mind the 
characterization... (I kinda like Psycho Bitch characters. They make great 
villains. Just read Choices and tell me you don't hate Sayuri. :) But right 
off the bat with no explanation really peeves me. And she'd have to be in an 
incredibly bad mood for me to believe this. Like perhaps if she's just found 
out she's barren...

<SNIP>
 You might want to keep it to a few of the more perceptive members of the 
cast.
 Akane might be suspicious, but I don't think she'd think of this 
immediately.

 Then again Shinji is prone to spouting out "Otousan!"'s, which are hard to
 misinterpret :)

    Mm hmm, like Kasumi and Nabiki. (Though Kasumi isn't perceptive in the 
traditional sense I think she would notice.)
    "But, but... Really! I swear, he means uh... Ah, damn." Ranma dropped his 
head and prepared for the beating of his life.

 
 > <SNIP>
 > >  tragedy! Now our schools will never be joined!" He began to wail and 
 > >  the
 > >  tears began to flow.
 >
 >     Despite the characterization of Akane you sure have THIS Tendo family
 > member down pat. :)
 >
 
 This is about the same extreme of characterization though, people just 
like 
it
 more :)

    Okay, okay... True. But Soun isn't exactly a main character in canon OR 
this story (it seems) so it's not nearly as bad.

 
 >
 > <SNIP>
 > >  "Calm Down?! Don't you dare tell me what to do! You....Jerk!" Out of
 > >  nowhere her mallet appeared.
 >
 >     Mallet? And I doubted your ability to make it worse... Shame on me.
 >
 
 This fic is a bit serious for the mallets to be appearing.

    That too. ^_^

<SNIP>
 >     Second, once again you prove me wrong... \Sigh/ "She thought dully." 
 > You
 > mean she doesn't even really CARE that he must think she's some sort of
 > monster? As much as I like the rest of the story this characterization,
 > excuse me, MIScharacterization of Akane, may just stop me from reading 
on.
 >
 
 The thought dully indicated to me a depressed state of mind actually.  
Then 
again
 the stalked right after words conveyed quite a bit of remaining anger.  
The 
two
 aren't necessarily incompatible though, Ryouga carries both off admirably 
at
 times :)

    True! I interpreted it the other way as you saw above... I was thinking 
it was dully as in boredom... Or lack of emotion. "Oh, it's 3 o'clock 
already?" Could be that it was meant as you interpreted though. Or the author 
could have had a completely different meaning. ^_^

<SNIP>
 >     One wonders how exactly Ranma plans to explain why he's a "mommy" 
part 
 > of
 > the time right about now...
 >
 
 I'm sure it will come out in the bathroom scene :)

    And boy(girl?) will that be fun! :)

 
 >  FINAL COMMENTS:
 > I really, really like this story, and the idea (I'll have to check out
 > Childhood Mysteries some time...) is great. I'm not so sure I can handle 
the
 > way you portray Akane though and so this may be one for Anyone But Akane
 > fans. (I'm a fan of all the characters myself...) Hopefully, you won't 
lose
 > this reader. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. Later.
 >
 
     Akane can be a hard character to write at times, especially with the 
sheer
 amount of fanfiction that displays her (and all the other characters) at 
nothing
 but the far extremes of their personalities.  I didn't really see anything 

    Yeah, I guess... But I made that mistake myself, (I.E. going by 
fanfiction for reference) when I first started and ended up just deleting my 
first attempt at writing fan fiction outright... I've since done my best to 
try and keep away from fanfic conventions. (Hope I've been doing well. :)

here
 which displayed an actual dislike of Akane, so I imagine it's just that,
 something which could be fixed fairly easily.
     Personally the Akane parts only detracted from the story a little for 
me,
 but
 Akane isn't one of my favorite characters, and her parts were overshadowed 
by the
 idea.  I've always been a sucker for stories where Ranma has children for 

    True, and as I said, I'll just have to wait and see. I hope it's not 
dislike for Akane because otherwise this IS a very good story. And yes it 
would be pretty easy to fix those Akane parts...

some
 reason, it adds an interesting variable to the mix.  His fiancee's then 
have 
to
 factor in immediately becoming a mother the moment they marry him, the 
fact 
that
 he's been with another women who he might have loved, and the necessity of
 raising a child who isn't their own.  All balanced against a man they're
 competing with two or three others for.  At any rate, I'm looking forward 
to
 seeing how it turns out here.

    Agreed. :)

 
 --
 James M. Zema
 http://gozips.uakron.edu/~zema/
 


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