I came up with this while working on "Here, There Be Dragons"; those of
you that have seen any of that will recognize that it's completely,
totally wrong for that story. On the other hand, I didn't feel like
throwing it out, so here it is. Enjoy, and I really don't plan on
continuing this. It's just an orphaned scene.
Standard disclaimers apply. Spoilers for the end of Slayers Next.
///
The night was brilliantly lit by the moon, and the village was
illuminated almost as clearly as day, even here at the edge of town. The
day had been spent festively, celebrating the wedding, and Amelia almost
felt tipsy from the champagne that the innkeeper had miraculously
produced.
They had won! Justice really did prevail, Daddy had always said. It did!
Just have faith and things will work out well in the end, and the
details take care of themselves. They'd fought Hellmaster and won!
Nobody had been hurt, at least not anything that didn't heal quickly,
and even Amelia had been worried that they wouldn't be able to get away
without paying some kind of price.
Daddy was right; they had tried their hardest and won and now it was
more than a little silly to worry about it afterwards! Amelia grinned.
Even Martina was happy, although she hadn't known Zangulus long enough
to be proper before marrying him... but they were in love and it had to
be okay, right? And Lina and Gourry had each other, much as they might
deny that they needed each other. It was kind of cute how Lina got all
flustered every time the topic arose...
Amelia spotted Zelgadis perched on top of a protruding boulder, near the
edge of the forest around the village, and she immediately stopped
worrying about Lina. The moonlight shone from his cloak and surrounded
him in a white nimbus, reflecting off of his hair and exposed skin. His
head came up, and he looked straight at Amelia, her heart skipping a
beat as their eyes met.
Smiling, he said her name, and suddenly Amelia wished that the night was
not so bright, wanted night to hide her cheeks, which had blushed hotly
at his voice and her thoughts. Did he feel the same way about her?
Well... that's what she was there to find out, was it not? Nothing
ventured, nothing gained, she repeated to herself.
"Zelgadis-san?" she asked, as she pulled herself onto the rock and sat
next to him.
He grunted, returning his gaze to the skies. She looked up, following
his eyes, but could not see much... the light of the moon shone so
powerfully that it blotted out the lesser stars.
"Zelgadis-san, I was talking to Lina and Gourry... and they said that
they would take me back to Saillune, now that everything's all settled!"
"That's good. Your father must be worried."
"Oh, you know Daddy," Amelia laughed. The two chuckled a little, and
then Amelia continued. "Anyway, Sylphiel wanted to go with us, too...
she says that the priests might come and help her with the rebuilding of
Sairaag, and..."
The next words froze in her throat - Amelia literally found herself
unable to speak. Why? she screamed at herself, in the inner parts of her
mind. Why can't I just come out and say it? Why is it so hard? She
gathered her courage as she saw him turn to look at her, from the corner
of her eye. Too late to turn back now. This one's for all or nothing,
Lina would say...
"...and I was wondering if... I was wondering if you'd come back with
me."
"Huh?" Zel blinked. "You want me to come with you on the way back?"
"Um... yes... but not just that. I want you to come back... with me. To
Saillune."
Zel looked away, shifting slightly. Amelia looked at him, but he
wouldn't meet her gaze, and she couldn't tell anything from his
hunched-over posture. Seconds passed, and he didn't respond, causing
Amelia to stop breathing so that she could listen harder. Still, he
didn't speak, and Amelia opened her mouth to ask him if he'd heard...
"...no. I can't. I'm sorry, Amelia."
The world froze. No! That wasn't the right answer! She wanted him to
come back! "But... but why?" she stammered, her eyes clouding.
"I... I can't go back to Saillune yet. They can't help me there... can't
help this there." Zelgadis dragged his fingers along the surface of the
rock, the grating noise leaving no doubt of the 'that' which he spoke.
"Maybe we can..." Amelia bit back the rest of her response. She had
asked her father, and Uncle Christopher, and all of the high priests,
but none of them even understood what had been done to Zelgadis. They
really didn't have any solutions to offer him.
"Right," Zelgadis said, seeming to understand her pause. "That's why I
have to keep looking. There has to be a cure there somewhere. There are
other legendary sages. There are other lost techniques..."
Amelia sniffed. "It's okay. It's okay! I don't mind!" She threw her arms
around him, almost bruising herself. Burying her head in his chest, she
continued. "I don't mind! You're not evil! You're not ugly! I just...
just..."
"Amelia, stop."
"I just want you to be with me!" she shouted.
"Amelia, stop!" Zelgadis pried her loose, gently, and took her hands in
his. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."
"But WHY?"
She looked up at his face, and was shocked at the naked horror that she
saw there. Not directed at her... thank goodness!... but at something
within. "I can't let it be okay," he said, a tremor in his voice. "It
isn't okay. I can't let myself let it be okay! I hate this body. I hate
it whenever somebody looks at me and sees some kind of freak!"
"But I... I don't..."
"I know. I know! But I can't let it go at that. I hate it for me!" Zel
gritted his teeth. "I've got to find a cure. I can't let Rezo win!"
"Rezo... win?" Amelia sat back, horridly fascinated. "But he's dead! You
told me that he came back at the end, that it was Shabranigudo the whole
time..."
"That doesn't matter. I still look the same! Knowing that won't cure
me!" Zel pounded the rock, denting it with his fist.
"Then... I can help you look!" Amelia looked straight at him, tears
forming in her eyes. "We can find your cure together! I... I'll go with
you!"
Zelgadis whirled. "Go with me? No... no! You can't!"
They sat there for a few seconds in silence, while the terrible nature
of the situation sank in on Amelia. Maybe... no! But maybe... "...you
hate me," Amelia whispered, her hands curled into the bottom of her
tunic. "I... I guess that's it, then. I..." The first sob escaped her,
and she turned away, not wanting him to look...
"WHAT? No! HATE you?" Zelgadis' hand closed on her shoulder, heavy and
powerful, but barely gripping it. "Where did you get that idea?"
"Because!" Amelia sniffed a couple of times, reining herself in. "You...
you won't come back with me! You won't let me go with you! You don't
want me around you!"
"I didn't say that!"
"But...!"
"If I didn't like you, I'd have said so! Sheesh!"
Amelia blinked twice, clearing tears out of her vision. "Then... you
don't hate me. Really?"
"Really. I'm sure." Something appeared to occur to Zel, and he grinned
slightly. "I didn't say that I loved you, so don't get the wrong idea
and glomp on me, okay?"
"Uh, yeah," Amelia said, giggling a little despite herself. "I'm sorry,
this must look so stupid..."
"No... it's my fault anyway. If everybody was like you, then maybe I
could just forget it..."
"They should be!" Amelia sniffed, partly from the effects of her tears
but mostly from righteous indignation. "You're a wonderful person!"
"Thanks. But they aren't!" Zel scrubbed at his hair with the hand that
wasn't on Amelia's shoulder. "I can't take being called a freak, a
monster, for the rest of my life. I'm not that strong, I can't just let
it pass, I HAVE to do everything that I can!"
Amelia covered Zel's hand on her shoulder with her own right hand,
looking straight into his eyes. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't be. At least somebody cares..."
A dramatic breeze passed by, ruffling Amelia's hair and their cloaks,
but to Amelia, it only seemed to remind her of Zelgadis' condition. She
thought what it must feel like to be reminded of one's own alien nature
in every look, every time the wind passed, every mirror or clear river.
He saw the expression on her face, and laughed bitterly. "Yeah, that's
part of the reason. It hurts! It hurts me, and if... if you care, it
would hurt you too. It... I couldn't stand to see you hurt because of
me."
Amelia nearly teared up again. "That's... so romantic..."
"It's just sense."
Amelia nodded. "Okay. I... I can accept that... I think." Zelgadis
tightened his hand on her shoulder, a quick squeeze. "But first!"
Sticking her face directly in front of his, she continued. "First,
you've got to promise me that you'll come back. After you find your
cure, come back... to me?"
"After!" Zel said, pulling away slightly. "I... it could be a long time,
Amelia. What if it is five years? Ten years?" His voice became
progressively more bitter, more desperate with every word. "What if it
is longer? What if I can't age? It could be twenty years! It could be a
hundred!"
"No!" Amelia squeaked. "It couldn't be that long!"
"But what if it was?" Zelgadis turned slightly away. "I want to give you
that promise, but... I can't, not without knowing."
"But... when?"
"When I am cured... I love the sound of that! I can come back."
Amelia leaned over and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his
shoulders as tightly as she could. "And you'll visit, right?" They both
laughed at that.
"I'll visit. I promise that much." The tableaux remained for a minute,
Amelia not daring to let go, Zelgadis not daring to push her away, each
trying to recover from the emotional roller coaster of the day. Slowly,
Zelgadis bent his head, pressing lips of cool stone to Amelia's
forehead.
"I'm going to go in the morning," he said, after a while.
Amelia grinned. "But you'll come back... that's what's important,
right?"
"Right..."