Okay, this ain't done either, but hey-- why not let you see what IS done?
Before I gear up to the somewhat... different part. ^_^

hehe :)

Robert Haynie Jr.  Working at the moment on Pop's machine, so the sig isn't
nearly as funny as it should be.  In fact, this is kinda dull.  No good
jokes, no wierd statements, no... wait.  Does this qualify?

Yes, it does. :)

        Sometimes Shampoo would come across some old or arcane piece of
lore or paranormal seasoning, and try it.  It never worked, of
course-- love doesn't work that way, and fate derailed attempts to
make it do so-- but Shampoo, who couldn't see anything past the idea
that Ranma = Airen would try again.  Cologne neither encouraged or
discouraged these attempts anymore.  She just sat back, watched, and
enjoyed the chaos.

        After all, Nerima was so much more FUN than the sleepy Amazon
village.  What had started as a husband hunt had become what Cologne
considered a sort of temporary retirement with a never ending floor
show.

hehehehehe :)

        From time to time she would teach Ranma something.  Not because
she hoped to gain him for the tribe.  Not because she had any real
plans for the boy.  Rather, because he was such a joy to teach--
unlike the children of the Amazon tribes she knew who saw the Art as
just another way to fight, he understood the truth--

        The Art was... The Art.

I am... who I am.

        Hibiki, now... he understood.  You don't learn the true Bakusai
Tenkatsu without understanding the Art.  You don't master a move like
the Shi Shi Hokodan without understanding the Art.

Tenketsu

        And Ranma-- mastering the Burning Chestnut technique without
being able to touch fire-- and THEN refining it into a devastating
attack technique (which it had not been intended for).

Really? It was kind of an obvious use to me...
Of course people in cartoons usually look like they're sorely lacking in the braincell department... :)

        The boy didn't understand the Art.  The boy WAS the Art.

So what's new?

        But Shampoo didn't understand that.  And so, without mentioning
it to her, Shampoo had gone to prevent the wedding of Ranma and
Akane.  And she had actually expected Ranma to be grateful.

Really, anything new? :)

        Something had happened along with the cure, Cologne decided.
Something important.  Ranma would vanish for extended periods, and
no-one knew where.  He wasn't talking about it.  He wasn't, in fact,
acting much like Ranma.  He was acting as though he was finally
maturing.

Or like he got YET another girlfriend... in one of THOSE hotels... :)

        Robert Haynie Presents

Kenjiko-sama!! :)

        Then she sighed again, because she had more reason than ever
before to BE Naoko.  That reason was because she didn't share certain
problems in the life of her alter ego-- well, the one named Ranma
Saotome, to be specific--  and one of import was girls.

        As in, for some reason she had never completely understood, he
tended to attract them in a manner similar to how a bucket of snails
attracted French gourmets.

You gotta tell me some time how you come up with these... you know... :)

        But those were Ranma's problems.  Naoko didn't have anything like
that to worry about.

        Instead, Naoko had to worry about boys.  Fortunately, the males
in Juuban were strangely less, well, frothing pits of boiling
hormonal letchery than the ones in Nerima.  She had discovered that
the worst thing she had to look forwards to was an ill-phrased
attempt to make a date instead of the more familiar (and much less
liked) leer or glomp and thinly veiled (when veiled at all)
suggestion of immediate intimate physical activity.  The boys of
Juuban were much less-- for lack of a better term-- perverted.  Akane
would have been astonished.

"Yeah, let's shag, baby!" (gotta get Austin Powers outta my head :) )

        Which never came off, since Ranma had pretty well decided that it
was safer to hide as Naoko whenever in Juuban.  And Naoko was DAMN
well going to spend as little time in Nerima as she could,
considering the idiots there.  Let Ranma handle that, since he was
expected to kick people into the near stratosphere, where if Naoko
did that, people would begin to... wonder.  No, Naoko was playing it
at just barely above Akane's level.  You know-- normal.  (One can see
that Ranma/Naoko had an understandably skewed view of what was normal
for a martial artist.)

Well, considering Ranma's life it is not in any way unexpected.

        Approaching, Usagi curiously poked her face straight into Naoko's
to see what possible blemish the pretty redhead could have.

        "AAAIIIIIGGHHHHHH!" greeted Naoko, who had found, instead of a
signal of the weakness in the dimensional fabric that would have
clued her in on the next Ur-demon incursion, a pair of curious wide
blue eyes attached to a pair of golden baseballs.

Meatballs! Those are _M_E_A_T_B_A_L_L_S_ ! :)

        Understandably startled, Naoko backpedaled into a convenient
tree, knocking her head against it, and grunting out a feminine but
very well felt "Ouch!" to go with it.

<blink> that didn't sound right... feminine but very well felt ?

        "Um... I was just checking, Usagi-chan."  Actually, the
transformation into Naoko tended to make certain that she was not
only approprately dressed, but invariably perfectly coiffed and
decorated.  Which, frankly, she was somewhat pleased with, since she
wasn't at all certain she could handle it for "real".  She barely
understood lipstick, and that was only because of a few pre-cure
episodes that had required it.

        Although it DID seem odd that every time she met up with Usagi
she'd somehow get an ouchie.  Hmmph.  For a moment she wondered why
her usual danger sense never warned her of these incidents, but
decided that it was because Usagi wasn't really a danger-- just
someone who was something of a klutz with some of the worst timing
she had ever met.

And that's not dangerous? :)

        "Hey, you get much worse in sparring.  So you have to be able to
take a knock.  My idol says that the life of a martial artist is full
of peril.  But he's an adventuring type, I hear, I guess I'm more a
hobbyist..."

        "Adventuring?"

        "Um... well, you know, minor things like burglars and the like."
(And oni, and dragons, and Saff-- don't go there, Ranma.)

And what about Ur-demons? Oh, that's right... those are the Paragon's territorry :)

        "Cool!  Want to go shopping?"

        With a contrived look of anticipation, Naoko replied, brightly,
"Sure!"

        Later, she considered that a MAJOR mistake.

Just major? What about of lunar proportions? (yes, pun intended :) )

        "It's been a long time, Cologne," Wong said.

        "Ah, my young friend.  You're looking well.  Whatever happened to
your handsome associate?"

        "He died a few years ago.  I'm not certain how."

        Cologne chuckled.  "Knowing him, likely a jealous husband.  No,
that's not fair... he never played in other men's fields, did he?"

        Wong shook his head.  "He might have been a scoundrel, but never
that much of one..."

Oh, then it was a jealous woman :)

        "Well, he IS the man who wrote the REAL protocols for the
American Military computers.  I STILL get the giggles when I think of
all those hackers who THINK they have penetrated the Pentagon's
security," Wong chuckled.

        "I know.  I got online a few months ago myself.  I've been, ah
'surfing', including Usenet.  Have you ever seen those idiots that
occaisionally post notices that say something to the effect of--"

        Here Tofu took a deep breath, and somehow managed to actually
quote--

        "HeY DooDz, I nOw  OWN the InTERnet, aLL pAy HOMAGE to mY
KEWLNESS!"

        The other two began to laugh hysterically.

eheheheheheh :)
No, actually I never saw one that I can remember. But if I actually look for one I'm sure I can find within a few minutes notice.

        Tofu smiled.  "I'd love to see the face of one of those idiots if
they knew there was someone who DID own the Internet..."

Hey, its ARPA!! :)
(okay, so they don't own it... they created it in the first place)

        It probably wouldn't have been so bad if Usagi hadn't insisted
that Naoko join in.  Joining in meant trying this dress or that skirt
on, or this pair of shoes or that hat or...  other female clothes.

Girl Days 2.0 ? eheheheheheh.
When are you releasing the next one?

        "It's too frilly, Usagi-chan.  I'm not a frilly person, you
know?"

oh? What about that dress you mother bought you ghhhuummfff <looks behind>

Ranma-chan: <glaring fiercely> Do you feel lucky?

        "You're really into all this martial art philosophy, aren't you?"

        "I sort of have to be, if I want to be as good as... Him."  Naoko
allowed herself a starry look, again giving the impression that she
had something of a denied crush on her as yet unnamed idol.

I love me. :)

        Minako peered at the taller girl uncertainly.  "You aren't
suggesting that he's an enemy, are you?"

        "No... I don't get that kind of feeling about him.  But maybe
he's gay?"

You tell him that!! He'll shag you and just about any girl in the area just to prove you wrong! :)

        "And so, as the Goddess of Love that I am, I owe it to him to
show him that not all girls are fickle or cruel.  The poor thing.  He
deserves a proper girlfriend."  It was obvious that Minako had
already convinced herself that her hypothesis was a proven theory.

Goddess of Love? That's Urd, isn't it? Oh, right, Urd is self proclaimed. :)

        But it was something of a shame that such a pretty girl was also
such a tomboy.  Oh, Naoko tried to hide it, and probably wore dresses
because her mother made her or something, but Usagi had a feeling
that Naoko would be happier in a t-shirt and jeans, rough and
tumbling it with other likeminded girls and boys.  And her facination
with the martial arts suggested to Usagi that the only kind of boy
she'd be interested in would be a martial artist.

fascination

And I'm a bit surprised that 'Naoko' didn't remind Usagi of Haruka... :)

        AND who was a martial artist.  Hmm... Mako-chan knew a lot about
martial arts, maybe she would know of someone.

        Meanwhile, Naoko, unaware that her life was about to become
feminine social hell, was trying not to explode at the fifth silly
dress that Usagi had found in THIS shop.

uhoh... Big Trouble in Juuban, Japan...

        "Hate to say it, Usako, but I have to agree with your friend
here.  She looks to be more or less the practical type."

        "MAMO-CHAN!"  Mamoru braced himself for the almost bullet-like
impact of Usagi's hug.  He wasn't dissapointed.

Isn't it disappointed? argh, can't remember. That's what I get for responding to mail at 3am...

        "Ah..." The redhead looked a bit flustered, and then replied,
"Likewise.  You have to be Usagi-chan's boyfriend?"  (DAMN, he's WAY
older than her.  Then again, I see wierder realtionships all the
time.  Mostly mine.)

Too true, Mr. Haynie... too true.

        Naoko was somewhat uncertain how to react.  True, she had no
attraction to the male gender,  but she did know what real girls
found attractive-- and this youth was just that.  Also, to her
discomfort, he was a charming type.  She'd met more than one fellow
who thought they were charming-- bozos all, in her opinion-- but
genuine unfaked charm wasn't something she was familiar with.

Then again, the Nerima Wrecking Crew doesn't rely on charm, but rather on brawn.

        They HAD to be coordinating somehow.  Perhaps Paragon was
actually a Senshi with an unusual fashion sense.  Or something.
There was no doubt that they were working together, though.

        Ferriko, one can see, was not a great believer in coincidence.

:)
Well, to be honest, I probably would think the same... I mean, it's one HELL of a coincidence.

        "Oh.  So, we won't go after that fellow there after all?"

        "Eh?"

        "That tall fellow with those two girls.  I sense great focus in
him."

Speak about the devil :)

        Ferriko blinked.  And looked in the direction Chiculii was
indicating.  "Hmm... you're right.  VERY focused heart, that one.
Well, it can't hurt to check if we can get him alone.  Although
blondie there may be difficult to disentangle.  She's got a grip on
him that a barnacle would be jealous of."

I wonder if it is Fate always screwing Ferriko up...

Good half-episode! Can't wait to see the rest! :)

---
See ya later!

Rui 'Fragger' Costa
rsmcosta@shenlon.net.dhis.org
ICQ #11383615

"Martial artist + chick + going to Tendo Dojo = Another Fiancee for Ranma"
Extracted from Half a Timeline, Act One, Chapter One, v1.2 .
Sorry folks, it was removed...
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