Subject: [FFML] [fic] [Draft] [Ranma x-over] "the Moron and the Maiden" pt3
From: "Ryoko" <kathy@linuxgrrls.org>
Date: 6/4/2000, 3:11 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

IF  Brenda has three apples and Paul has four, then Adric eats 
them all, how severe a beating will Adric get, and how does this 
relate to the fact that I own none of these characters, who are the 
property of Rumiko Takahashi, and Neil Gaiman?

Answer

very, and not a lot, so don't sue me!

***

What has come before?

While engaged in his usual Akane inspired acrobatics, Ranma was 
fated to die. However, due to a minor miscalculation on Death's 
behalf, She has accidentally gotten herself engaged to him. After  
long day of getting pounded on he has returned home to a angry 
Akane and a solicitous Death. NOW READ ON

***


Chapter tertius:

 "Um, so what do we need to talk about?" asked Ranma 
intelligently as he
 attempted to peel his shoes off in the doorway to the Tendo home. 
It
 wasn't made easier for the mud deeply wedged into the ankles and 
toes.

 "Well... Look it's complicated," prevaricated Death, "it's gonna be
 easier to sit down and talk this one through than just drop it on 
you.
 Really." She finished with a winning smile.

 Ranma looked up at Death blankly, and nodded vaguely. Akane 
glowered. She
 wasn't happy about this... this... *FLOOZY* hanging around her 
Ranma, not
 that she wanted the stupid lug in the first place... Dragging her 
mallet
 behind her she followed them in to the main living area. 

 Genma and Soun were of course playing Shogi, although for once 
Genma was
 in his human form. He was also lying on his side, accepting plates 
full
 of finger foods from Kasumi, who wore a highly mortified 
expression on
 her 
face. It was clear that the eldest Tendo daughter was regretting her 
broom
powered outburst intensely. Whilst she had been perfectly entitled 
to join
in a certain amount of the chastisement, she had become totally 
carried
 away with herself... The main reason she no longer practised the 
art.

 Nabiki was perched on a cushion, sat against the porch, a 
magazine idly
 held in her hands. From time to time she'd lick her finger and turn 
the
 page, then play with a lose strand of hair, before licking her finger
 and... Looking over at the content gave a totally deceptive reason 
for
 her glassy eyed staring into infinity, as the faces of the Three 
Lights,
 a new male idol group, were spread over the glossy pages. For 
some reason
 she would periodically look over at a wall hanging that hadn't been 
there
 earlier, and sigh.

 Ranma sat down warily. His skill was with his fists not his mouth, 
and he
 heartily detested any confrontation where verbosity could 
overwhelm his
 ability to deliver pinpoint accurate violence to the one attacking 
him.
 It was one of the holds Nabiki held over him, well, that and the 
lingerie
 shots that he'd been too embarrassed to use as bait when 
attempting to
 overcome Happosai's moxibustion attack. 

 Breaking the silence Akane fairly crashed down at the table, her 
face
 stoic, her eyes livid, as she glared over at their latest guest with
 hawk-like ferocity. Not that she was doing this for Ranma of 
course. She
 just cou
ldn't stand people who interfered with her life. She might be fond of
Ranma at times, but there as NO way that she could love the stupid
obnoxious perverted baka!

 Death seated herself with quiet grace and looked at the two 
children
 seated opposite her. Sighing to herself she pondered where to 
begin.

 "Well, I guess you're all wondering why I called you here today," 
she
 began brightly. Seeing Akane begin to warm up for an insult, she 
hastily
 changed tack. "It was sort of a family joke. Anyway... this is fairly
 difficu
lt for me to deal with as well, so let me explain in my own way."

 Ranma nodded, Akane closed her mouth, not willing to give an 
inch.

 "I was here to take Ranma on after his death today - " began 
Death only
 to have Akane gasp in horror and attempt to leap at her, murder 
writ
 large in her eyes.

 "You were going to kill him weren't you! Get him all to yourself that
 way! You can't have him, I won't let you kill him!" screamed Akane,
 thrusting the table away from her, and jumping at Death, her fingers
 poised to gou
ge eyes, when Death flickered, and vanished. Akane, robbed of a 
target,
hit the floor, rolling with the impact and coming back up in a ready
stance, arms raised, feet spread, eyes roving.

 Death reappeared at the far side of where the table had been, 
frowning
 slightly, a extremely displeased look in her eyes.

 "I didn't try to kill him," she hissed angrily, " I NEVER kill! I take
 those who have died, but I do NOT kill! YOU do that!" she finished 
in a
 low cold tone. Akane looked across the room scornfully, not yet 
willing
 to ri
sk another attack, Ranma leaping to her side, with slightly less 
than his
usual alacrity, his eyes troubled by what Death was saying.

 "Telute," he asked in a puzzled manner, while his body almost
 unconsciously assumed his favoured guard position. "What do you 
mean you
 don't kill - she does?"

 Death smiled at the martial pair slightly, her eyes sympathetic. 
"What I
 mean Ranma is that I was there waiting for you to land in that 
pond and
 drown. The only reason that you didn't, is because I wasn't 
expecting to
 se
e a red haired girl fall in. You were unconscious in that pool, having 
hit
your head on the Dojo roof on the way past - and who hit you up 
there...?
I'll remind you - Akane."

 Akane barely heard. So she hit Ranma, so what? He deserved it! 
Anyway,
 he'd always survived before, there was no excuse to call her a 
murderer!

 For Ranma however there was quite another reaction. his arms 
dropped
 fractionally, and he shifted his attention from Death to the young 
woman
 at his side. A young woman who, he had to acknowledge, 
regularly beat the
 livi
ng hell out of him, tried to poison him on a regular basis, and 
absolutely
refused to allow any deviation from what she wanted - reacting 
violently
and without thought when provoked.

 Ranma had to admit, Death had a point.

 As did the Dai-katana that appeared from behind the new wall 
hanging
 thingy - Ranma being unable to tell his arass from his elbow. 
Looking
 down the blade he saw the angry figure of his mother. Flinching 
slightly,
 even th
ough the business with the seppuku pledge had been resolved 
successfully
over a year previously, he raised a hand and waved slightly.

 "Erm... Hi Mom.... "

 Nabiki nodded to herself. It was sooner than she had planned, but 
under
 the circumstances, she could quite understand Nodoka's reaction. 
Smiling
 to herself she murmured "Hold, a rat! Dead for a ducat dead!" 
Frowning
 she 
reconsidered; that was probably far to appropriate for the situation. 

 After all she'd miss her sister, even though she brought the whole 
mess
 on down on her head on her own. Worrying slightly at her bottom 
lip, she
 started to run though *any* plan she could think of to make sure 
that
 every
one survived this meeting. 

 There weren't that many that she could bring to mind.

***

 Ryoga sat in front of a small campfire, naked while his clothes 
dried
 enough for him to dry off. After loosing Azusa, and retrieving his 
pack,
 he'd settled to the worst part of his curse - the wait for humanity to
 return
. For Ranma this wasn't  a problem, he was human whatever, and 
always had
easy access to hot water. For Mousse and Shampoo matters were 
made easier
by the fact that everyone knew of their curses, and would offer hot 
water
 almost instantly they were seen. Genma had hands even as a 
panda, so he
 had no troubles either.

 However for him the situation was poor. Unable to tell people of his
 curse for fear it would get back to Akane, he had to change back 
under
 his own power. This was rather more complicated than it looked. 
First he
 had to 
find his clothes, or one of the packs he'd secreted around the town 
in out
of the way locations, or at least places that he got lost in a lot. 
There
were quite a few, placed in a pattern across the globe that would 
have s
pelled out quite an interesting set of observations about Ranma... 
had
anyone the ability to plot them.

 Then came the truly interesting part - building a fire with his teeth,
 firing his Ki attack into the wood, trying not to incinerate it - he
 frequently vaporised the putative firewood, and had to begin again. 
This
 was a p
roblem that got worse with each failure, each attempt would be 
followed by
a sense of uselessness and bitter disappointment and rage, 
fuelling his
emotional state, making the blast harder to control. Still, once the 
fire
was going, all he had to do was heat the small pan of water he 
carried at
all times, and wait for his clothes to dry enough so that they 
wouldn't
reactivate his curse. 

 Ryoga had spent a lot of time perfecting this routine. He was now 
able to
 return to his human form in less than an hour, kami willing, and 
provided
 he could find wood, and his pack. 

 He frequently spent these times waiting thinking of revenge on 
Ranma, or
 his love for Akane, but for once his thoughts took a different tack.
 Ryoga hated to admit it, but he was lonely. However, when he 
fought
 Ranma, the
re was a sense of completeness, something that was right. His 
Challenges
were a mere formality, what he truly craved was the sense of 
camaraderie
that came with the martial exercise. 

 More and more of late he'd pondered this question. What drew him 
back to
 Nerima? his desire for revenge had waned slowly. He (frequently) 
had had
 it pounded into him enough that it HAD been partially his own fault 
that
 J
usenkyo had happened. If his pride hadn't blinded him to his own 
inability
to find places, he would have accepted Ranma's offer to take him 
to the
abandoned lot for their fight. Instead his pigheadedness ...

 He snorted. He finally knew why he'd charged blithely off after his
 friend to China. Friend. An odd word... But Ryoga knew that in a 
twisted
 sort of manner, Ranma and he were friends. Forged in the heat of 
battle,
 their 
two lives had twined around each other, each the reflection of the 
other.

 Ranma was the quick popular one, with the arrogance, charisma 
and good
 looks, himself with his power, his strength, his isolation, low self
 esteem, homely plain face. Between them they made one martial 
artist, and
 that m
artial artist was one to be feared. Ryoga looked back at all of the
kindnesses Ranma had shown him so thoughtlessly, to him, who 
had Ben
supposed an enemy...

 Ryoga sighed and leapt at the pan, knocking to contents over 
himself,
 returning to human in the middle of a forwards roll taking him 
neatly out
 of the fire. Pulling on his clothes, he considered again. When he'd 
Ben
 told of Ranma's near death... Near? he was dead! He'd been 
horrified...
 he'd covered well, but deep down he'd known that without Ranma 
he was
 no-one. It had lead to his over hasty and over violent reaction at the
 gate - he'd 
had to challenge his battling brother to reassure himself that 
Ranma truly
lived. That didn't mean that he wasn't annoyed by the 'P-chan' 
comments
however....

 Still now all he had to do was return to the Dojo, and try to explain
 some of this to his brother. This close call was TOO close. Ranma 
had
 nearly died before... but when Nabiki had explained that Ranma 
was
 supposed to b
e dead, he'd rushed out barely hearing her explanation for his 
survival.
All he knew was that this time was different. He couldn't return to 
his
status quo. Finally he would have to admit to his friendship for 
Ranma. He
c ouldn't let Ranma die with bad blood between them. Killing him 
with bad
blood, yes, he admitted wryly, but just dying... it would be a 
travesty.

 It had been fun tormenting him... after all, Ranma teased him 
enough, but
 beneath it all Ranma had never taken advantage, had often 
stopped to help
 him, and if he cut into Ryoga's mooning time over Akane? He'd 
pound him 
flat! After all - just because he was a friend didn't mean that he'd
forget where the friendship had been forged.

 In the battlefield.

 Ryoga repacked his travel pack, and walked off humming quietly to
 himself. He walked left, left right left left right....and disappeared
 into the distance. He'd get back to the Dojo eventually. Somehow 
he
 always did.

***

AD 1698, Japan. Hokkaido.

 Desire watched a young samurai closely. The warrior had the 
unerring
 ability to be where he wanted to be, cutting large swathes through 
the
 Ronin - bandits who had attacked the train his sworn liege. The 
train
 contained 
the entire taxes of the region, all bound for the Shogun's castle at
Osaka. Already the train had lost half of the Samurai it had started 
with,
but this did not deter the warriors. This was their sworn duty- to get 
the
tr ain to it's destination, or die, either in battle or by their own
hands. 

 On the plain the man swung again, and allowed his back swing to 
gut the
 bandit who had crept up behind him. Looking around for an instant, 
he set
 off at a lope to the next cluster of fighters, already planning where 
he
 c
ould be of most use. Desire was amused. The warrior stock this 
man
represented could make a most useful foil for the man it planned to 
set
it's sister with... 

 Looking around Desire nodded to itself. it would be a pity if this 
man
 were to die before he could have children. With a thought Desire
 manipulated the stock of energy that Destruction had allowed it 
access to
 before his departure. Focusing on the man before it, Desire 
imbued it
 with the chaotic power of Destruction. Not much. It would take a 
great
 deal of time for this to manifest itself, but it did strengthen his
 chances of breeding su
ccessfully. Desire chuckled, and vanished, leaving the fearful 
slaughter
in its wake.

 The train made it safely to Osaka. The young Samurai who had so 
caught
 Desire's attention was married to the nephew of a powerful but 
poor noble
 house. The next day he left, with his bride and her maid for the 
north of
 H
okkaido. Once more they were ambushed, the samurai falling from 
his horse
with an arrow in his throat in the first wave of the unexpected arrow
storm. The Ronin were driven off, but the mortally wounded man 
committed
sepp uku with dignity, his wife as his second. 

 He was Seventeen, survivor of a hundred attacks, and 
unquestioned in
 loyalty to his Daimyo. Even as he slipped into the great void his 
last
 thought was of the dispatches their group carried to their master. 
And
 his wife 
whom he regretted not knowing better. 

 She survived. As did her newly conceived son 

 To carry forwards the name of Hibiki Ota for future generations.

****

 Nodoka stared at her son. Carefully composing herself she 
gestured him to
 one side, the tip of the blade glinting like the fangs of a cobra 
before
 the swift deadly strike.

 "Son, I am glad to see you are well, however this killer cannot be
 allowed to go free - she has ended the line of Saotome, it is mere 
good
 fortune that you have survived. She must commit PAY for harming 
you!" she
 whisper
ed, maternal urges warring with her love for the wild child of the 
Tendo
family. It would be close to whether she struck in anger at the harm 
her
son had received, or would allow her usual calm to steel over her,
replacin g the wild rage with wise counsel.

 "Mom, it was an accident - look I know she's a tomboy and she 
thinks with
 that hammer of hers but she didn't mean it!" Ranma paused. This 
was
 evidently not the right tack, his mothers fingers gripping the hilt of
 the swo
rd in a spasm of cold anger, turning white under the pressure. 

 "Would that comfort me at your grave? would that please you in the
 afterlife?" Asked Nodoka calmly, her eyes still locked onto Akane, 
who
 sat beneath them, pinned like a butterfly on a board. Across the 
room,
 Soun sat an
d wept. For honour he could do nothing. Nodoka was quite right. 
He hoped
that she would not force his daughter to use the tanto her mother 
had
ended her life with when the pain had become intolerable, but for 
once, he
fou nd himself held immobile by the very honor that he had used to 
bring
the two together. He lived his life a Edo period concept of duty, and 
it
was about to turn about and bite home...

 Genma watched impassively. He knew his wife. As long as no 
blood was
 spilt now, they could fix the situation. He hoped. Absently he 
swiped a
 number of Soun's shogi tiles, the hand moving with no feedback 
from his
 brain. 
His whole attention was fixed upon the drama playing in front of 
him.

 Death watched in passive calm. However she didn't get the sense 
that
 anyone was to die soon, so she just sat and waited for her chance 
to
 speak. After all, until this was resolved one way or the other, she
 wouldn't have 
their full attention for the talk she needed to have with them...

 "Mother," began Ranma formally, sensing this was the way to go, 
"Akane
 Tendo is my iinazuke. I will not let you harm her for an event that 
was
 avoided. I am well, and she has learnt her lesson... " A sharp jab 
in the
 rib
s woke Akane from her stupor, the mallet raising into the air almost 
by
itself....

 Akane looked at the tool blankly. If the lady in black... what had 
Ranma
 called her? Telute? If Telute hadn't messed up, she would have 
killed
 him! Her berserk rage had gotten hold of her again... and this was 
the
 symbol of it... She had been about to hit Ranma for the jab, but 
surely
 that would have infuriated his mother...  and would have 
demonstrated how
 little she was able to learn from her actions, how driven by the 
beast
 that the a
rt had failed to tame...

 Akane stared at the mallet held at shoulder height in front of her. 
With
 a swift decision, she swung it down, bringing her knee up. It 
shattered
 along the handle. 

 Proffering the lumps of her signature weapon, her eyes downcast, 
and her
 tongue laden with shame, she nodded and spoke.

 "Hai, Saotome-san. Hai. Gomen nasai..."

***

 Nabiki breathed a sigh of relief as Nodoka put up her blade, 
Weighing
 Akane with her eyes, before slowly nodding and sheathing it. It 
had been
 close for a few moments, but with luck this would turn out 
correctly, and
 eve
ryone would be happy... Well... A girl could hope?

 Actually she was relieved beyond belief. She had begun to write 
death
 poems for her youngest sister when she had begun that swing, but 
she had
 been impressed with the way she had recovered from her anger, 
and
 shattered h
er weapon. Nabiki knew of the rage that drove Akane. She shared 
in it in
some manner - a legacy of their father. Kasumi controlled it tightly,
holding herself in, scared of the results if she let it slip - as this
afterno on had shown. Akane had always let it have free play, her 
training
in the art freeing it's destructive potential rather than controlling and
negating the impulse.

 And she dealt with it by sublimating it. By allowing it controlled 
access
 through her periodic mercenary ventures she found herself able to 
keep a
 level balance, between the fear of own soul of her eldest sister and 
the 
rage against the world of her younger.

 Nabiki finally began to breath normally again, and turned her 
attention
 to the magazine in her hands, daydreaming softly of the cute 
specimens of
 manhood on the glossy pages. Of course, being Nabiki she 
allowed herself
 t
o listen to the room with one indifferent ear, her perfect memory for
indiscretions would allow her to record any major slip-ups. Life was 
good.

 She let herself go into the dream of a mansion in the hills 
overlooking
 Tokyo, with a rich husband, and a young child of her own....

***

Authors notes

usually flat and out of key

I was a little worried over this one - I kinda got writers block in the
middle, along with a visit from my younger siblings... it's a real pain
trying to write with people sleeping in the front room... especially
consider ing I do my best work at 2am in the morning<smiles>

Anyway, I'm still trying to work around to the point where Death will drop
the bombshell over Ranma, but bear with me - we'll get there!

Sorry 'bout Ota... but it was a brutal time. And the endless haven't
finished with them yet. 

Not much else to say, sorry if this one is a little disjointed, but I hope
I got the inner feel of the characters right - I've always been fond of
Ryoga (those fangs are CUTE!) but I do apologise if I've stolen anyone's t
houghts on him. I seem to recall reading a similar sort of inner soul
search elsewhere, but I can't bring it to mind - Gomen, and thank you for
setting me on this particular path, I think he deserves it.

And I'm sorry for saying sorry so much<smiles>

Zen, you're great

Everyone who replied to part one - I love ya!

Bailesu-Sama, Hosmer-San, you're my heroes! now finish up Z18! 

Again, I own no rights to any characters. don't sue me.

Email to <
kathy@linuxgrrls.org



22-04-00 - 31-05-00


Teaser for part 4

 "I'd say that no-one objects then," interjected Death wryly. She 
felt for the poor child, but she had to agree with the words of the 
mother in front of her. The match really wasn't the best.
 "In that case I am leaving," announced Nodoka, picking up her 
blade, and turning to leave. "When my husband returns tell him I 
shall be waiting for him at our house." With a measured tread she 
began to leave, only to stop as Soun at last regained the power of 
speach.
 "Then Nabki shall marry Ranma!"
 *Why me?* thought Ranma rhetorically.
 "Why am I not surprised," murmered Death.
 Nodoka paused, inclining her head fractionally, then left.
 Ranma fainted, even as Soun began to cheer, his dreams 
saved.
Ryoko
   myaa!
   Mail Eternal power, make-up!


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