Scrivner wrote:
Her clothes consisted of baggy, no-brand name
jeans, sneakers, a denim jacket and a loose t-shirt.
It was a comfortable, though shapeless, ensemble that
draped over her fourteen year old figure. Not that
she had much of one, she often been told.
Probably not Asuka then.
At her feet
was a largish leather back pack that looked as if it
had seen better days.
She was remarkable perhaps only in that only
Two 'only's close together. I'd drop the second.
wouldn't even be here if things had turned out
differently, she mused. She squinted impatiently into
the crowd again. She didn't realize there could be so
many people here. How was she supposed to spot a
single face in all of this?
Waiting for Misato, I wonder.
scrawl, 'Looking forward to seeing you again' it
said. It was signed, but she couldn't quite make out
what the signature said. The handwriting was that
bad.
Ah, Kaji, then.
felt a breath near her neck. A voice, light and
playful, yet somehow cutting through the noise of the
city like a knife spoke into her ear, "I'm glad you
like the photo, Asuka."
Hmm. And people have told her she has a bad figure? Odd.
"Grew up nicely." He jerked a thumb, still
smiling as he put on a pair of sunglasses, "Come on,
I'm double parked outside."
"Uh... sure," she replied uncertainly, reaching
down for her bag. "Ryouji Kaji, right?"
Ah. Got that one anyway
speed which was only
I'd drop this 'only' as being unnessary
just barely under the speed
limit, cutting in front of other drivers and weaving
expertly through the surprisingly light Tokyo
traffic.
"Don't worry. You get used to it. Trust me." He
flashed her a grin.
"Um... I've... I have another question?"
"Yes?" He
he
it." She replied
it," she
This problem seems to crop up frequently. I think you get the idea.
Asuka looked at him once more and said softly,
"That's... that's okay. If I'm a bother, you can
always send me to my grandparents..."
Definitely a different Asuka.
winked, "I'm actually looking forward to it."
She blushed at a sudden thought that occurred
to her, "What do you mean?"
"I've never been real,
been a real
She giggled a little and blushed again as she
fought down the urge to go for her thumbnail once
more. He was making her nervous... she'd never had
anyone compliment her like that before. Or try to
make her laugh. Certainly not a guy. She glanced at
him again. A really cute guy. Who she'd be living
with. She blushed even deeper as those thoughts
popped unbidden into her mind.
Ah. So some things remain the same.
"Oh my god! What're you doing?"
"These guys want you and
you, and
sound of the gunshot and Asuka's screams away.
Their car pulled away from the wildly careening
black sedan. Asuka could see that the bullet had
passed clean through the first man and had also hit
the driver, splattering the contents of their heads
all over the interior.
Nice shot
The passenger was leaning out
the window, the exit wound that had torn out the back
of his skull bleeding copiously.
Kaji floored it, his car peeling away from the
other, but not before Asuka caught a glimpse of the
man, who by all rights should have been dead, pushing
against the outside of his door with his shattered
hand to right himself.
Oops. bad news.
She could see his the
drop either 'his' or 'the'
"You shot him!"
"He was going to do the same to me."
"But he's not dead!"
He is dead, but that doesn't mean he's not still deadly.
worry."
The radio in Kaji's car suddenly crackled in
the middle of the annoying song's chorus and a
confident voice came across the speakers. "Major,
this is Unit 01. I'm pacing your car and your pursuer
>from about a hundred feet above you. Orders?"
Confident? Shinji? This will be a sight to behold.
and the passenger side man in black was in the
process of clambering out of his window. He looked
none the worse for wear despite having lost the rear
of his head.
He moved none the worse for wear, perhaps. If the rear of his head is gone
he definitely LOOKS the worse for wear.
"Hey you
Hey, you
replied. Asuka could've sworn she saw a blue and red
blur streak past the car that sent a massive rush of
air into the windows.
So Shinji is Superman?
heart was hammering in her chest and
chest, and
she realized
belatedly that she had her teeth around her thumbnail
again. She turned trying
turned, trying (I think)
It was only eight inches away from him when,
without thinking, she reached for it. She tried to
catch it in her hand, but she jerked it back as she
realized how hot it was. She pulled a spare shirt
hurriedly from her backpack, and wrapped it around
her hand, before grabbing at it again.
Asuka the Flash. Neat
Nice work. Being a comic book buff, I'll have to get around to reading the
other chapters of this soon.
D.B. Sommer