Another D.F. Roeder fic. And only a month or two late. Time for more C+C,
(and right before I'm due to release a fic. It's a coincidence. Really)
:j Everybody raise their hand who believes... Oh, sorry, DB. Didn't see you
in the audience. :P
>Hello. Just a little something in between ongoing series...
>
>Tenchi Forever SPOILER ahead...
*Blech* You're lucky I enjoy your writing. That was not one of my favorite
movies.
Yeah, this movie didn't score well with a lot of folks. *shrug* Oh, well. I
liked it. :)
>The stone steps were, in any practical sense of the word, eternal. For
>as long as he could remember, there was an almost ritualistic quality to
>climbing the long stairwell to his house, or the even longer trek to the
>shrine, which was suitably higher on the hill.
nice opening paragraph.
Thanks! ^_^
>grandfather when he was young. He'd even taken to wearing his hair
>longer, strengthening the resemblance to the Yousho of times past... or
>of a young man artificially aged in a pocket dimension. He shook those
>thoughts loose.
Well, at least he got some :)
But was it real?
Haruna: Yume ja nai yo! Yume ja nai! Yume ja nai no!
Tenchi: This isn't Wheel of Fortune, Haruna.
>
>College, or the possibility of it, loomed large in the very near future,
>but it was actually the furthest thing from his mind. Rather, each step
>higher brought increasing thoughts of long, but pleasant, burdens, of
>matters avoided, of decisions deferred... and of secrets kept.
Ah, so it's time to tell the other girls that he's been secretly involved
with Ryo-Ohki for the last year.
WASHUU: She's not fully functional in that respect.
CAST: ...
RYOU-OU-KI: Rats! ERRR, Miya? *piku* *piku*
>A flash of red caught his eye just before reaching the landing for the
>house, and Tenchi
I'd break that into two sentences 'house. Tenchi
Will review. You didn't leave me enough of the sentence to judge on the spot.
:)
>He opened the sketchpad and pulled the pencil out of the tunnel of
>spiral binding.
Ah, so he kept something from that time.
Sure. He was drawing at the end of the movie anyway.
>father's legacy, he imagined -- but he'd never really done much of it
>before the 'Incident'. Haruna had awakened some need in him to create
>when she'd pulled him into the world she'd made; a unforeseen
an unforeseen
ACK! Right, will fix.
byproduct
>of that experience. Now that he was drawing often, however, it always
>seemed to unnerve a certain two
'a certain pair' sound better to me since the 'a' makes it sound singular.
Hmmm, not sure. Will review.
>"Thank you, Tenchi-dono." Washuu was flustered, but her mercurial
>personality soon washed it away as the gathered people continued to have
>fun. It wasn't long before the sake was broken out, and even Tenchi
>partook, much to everyone's surprise.
It was his first step on the long road to alcoholism.
Ryouko's a bad influence. :)
>Tenchi made a profound discovery: he was a moody drunk.
I can see that.
It's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for...
>"Some air. Need air." Tenchi opened the front door and quickly closed it
>behind him. "Ah. Better. Maybe a walk, too." He didn't feel up to the
>stairs, so he wandered down one of the forest trails that disappeared
>into the darkness along the side of the hill.
Two words about passing out in the outdoors: dew point.
:j
>"Lies, lies. I'm living a lie..." he muttered, stumbling along and
>slowly losing awareness of his surroundings as he dwelled on his
>thoughts. "I'm so tired of it."
So he ignited the Master Key and lopped his head off.
Did you see a [dark] tag? ;)
>Setting the bottle down, he rubbed his belly with one hand while
>massaging his forehead with the other. "I'm going to regret this
>tomorrow, just as soon as Ryouko sneaks in and wakes me up." He giggled
>at a passing fancy of grabbing her and kissing her madly. <Wouldn't she
>be surprised...> His mood soured almost instantly. "Can't do that yet,
>Tenchi. Bah."
Yet? Interesting choice of words.
:)
>He rolled over onto his hands and knees and returned to an upright
>position by working his palms up the tree's trunk. Once standing, his
>gaze continued up the split in the bole to where the single trunk
>divided into many branches.
>
>"Haruna..."
I wonder if Tenchi realizes that he was really nothing more than a
substitue for Yosho. :)
Probably. This fic is going to undergo some revision, for various reasons, and
hopefully Tenchi's thoughts on the matter will be somewhat clearer.
>"Tenchi!" Ryouko fluttered in teleport
"fluttered in teleport" sounds awkward. I'd rephrase that.
Hmmm, I rather like it, myself. It's slightly onomatopoeic. Really! Roll your
R's. :)
>Tenchi laughed ruefully. "I thought it would be easier on you. I didn't
>want to hurt you... talking about it. You tried so hard to get me back,
>I--"
>
>"Me and Aeka can take it, Tenchi," she answered a little crossly. "We
>don't break too easy."
True enough.
*nods*
>"No, no. That's not what I meant." He finally raised his head and looked
>at her with bloodshot eyes. His hand reached out and clumsily caressed
>her cheek. "Your face. It wouldn't go away. It gave me a real pounding
>headache, too."
True. It always was her face that plagued him.
Gah. No sympathy from you, is there? ;p
>"You made me remember, and you weren't even there."
'or maybe it was Minagi,' Tenchi admitted.
TENCHI: It's so hard to tell them apart in the dark.
MINAGI: Tee-hee!
RYOUKO: DIEEEE!!!
>Ryouko blink-blinked,
Don't care for that phrasing. Sounds too 'scriptish'
Hrm, it's in fairly common usage. I can say that because, as a rule, I don't
read script format fics, and I still see it a lot.
>"Ryou-- ko," Tenchi falteringly muttered, bending over at the waist,
>"I... I..." He scooted to the side, leaned over the ground, placing his
>palms on the leaf litter, and began emptying the contents of his stomach
>onto the ground.
Better than the contents of his bowels. :)
Oh, please. Bleah. I didn't NEED that image. ;/
:)
>
>"I... I..." *COUGH* "love... you..."
I did this once myself. It seemed awful romantic at the time. The hangover
the next morning erased any thoughts of that.
Yup!
Another set of heaves cleaned out
>whatever was left. Tenchi fell to his side, groaning, and Katsuhito
>returned to his side
two 'to his sides' in the same sentence. I'd rephrase the second part as
'Katsuhito returned to help him
Agreed. Will fix.
and helped him sit up.
>
>Ryouko was frozen.
Odd, I thought she'd be running hot. :)
Later, man, later...
>Ryouko shifted around, but didn't say anything.
>
>"I see. I will leave you to your thoughts." Aeka made to rise, but
>Ryouko's hand quickly lay atop her own before she could move.
>
>"No! Um, no. Please stay, Aeka. That is, if you want to..."
Touching.
Good. That's what I was shooting for.
>Ryouko opened her mouth to retort, but she stopped and slowly closed it,
>smiling wanly. "I'm... glad, to tell the truth." She picked up her sake
>cup and quickly drained it, looking at Aeka over the rim. She set the
>empty cup down. "I... like having you around, Aeka."
Ryouko: Let's have sex.
/me throws DB to the female lions...
>Ryouko tensed, closing her eyes and waiting for the explosion, waiting
>for the pain, for the scream, the tears, hate. Instead, the hiss of
>hands on cloth reached her ears, and Ryouko straightened, opening her
>eyes. With a neutral expression, an almost empty expression, Aeka's gaze
>followed her own fingers as they ran down creases, trying to smooth away
>the lines.
>
>She waited, as Aeka smoothed.
A hundred years passed.
"Okay, I'm over it now," Aeka finally said.
"Too bad Tenchi's been dead the last couple of decades," Ryouko lamented.
AEKA: Hmmm, that is a problem.
RYOUKO: Yousho's still kicking.
AEKA: Flip you for him...
RYOUKO: How about if you just flip me.
AEKA: I like the way you think.
... Never mind.
>The overhead lamp glinted off of Ryouko's
it's actually okay to drop the 'of'
Okay.
moist face as she lowered it,
>and the soft sniffles tore jagged, mortal wounds in the life-long feud
>between the two women, a feud that had already had
I'd just say 'feud that already had'. Sounds better.
It is a bit heavy with participles or whatever those are called... :)
>"I... don't know what you mean." Aeka released her, and Ryouko sat back
>and turned her head away.
>
>"If, if you leave... I win... and lose."
That's life.
Cynic. :)
>"I've... been better," he finally said. "How are you?"
>
>"About the same as you. Isn't sake in excess wonderful?" she dryly
>remarked.
She wasn't dry last night. :)
No, she was in the ladies' bath... Oops! Were you referring to something else?
^_-
>"Ahhh, heh, well..." Tenchi sat up and twisted to put his feet on the
>floor, then regretted the movement, cradling his head in his hands.
>"Oooh, how does Jiichan do it? He's probably already seeing people at
>the shrine."
>
>"Superior Juraian constitution, perhaps."
perhaps?"
No, it's declarative.
>"I was thinking..." She
she
EEK!
>"Why didn't you want to be emperor, Tenchi?" she asked abruptly, a short
>burst of courage.
Awkward. I'd reword it, but not sure how to right now.
Yeah. I actually struggled with that sentence for a while. Dunno. Will review.
>"And," he uncharacteristically cut her off, "I don't want to be in the
>position of deciding whomever else lives or dies. I don't want that kind
>of power." He looked her in the eye. "You can't say that the throne
>*doesn't* do that."
Heh. Not what she expected.
Nope. It's not like Tenchi hasn't been thinking "What if?" a little bit,
probably.
>She looked over at Ryou-ou-ki, sitting on a stool and gnawing a carrot
gnawing on a
Mmmm, okay.
>without her usual zeal. Even the little cabbit was aware of a change in
>the prevailing house-winds, and the poor dear was distracted.
>
>Sasami forced her mind back to her tasks, lest the meal get away from
>her. It would all be all right. All the ingredients were gathered in one
>place, ready to play their parts. Everyone would stay together. Bad
>stuff couldn't hurt them if they all stayed together. That was the
>important part. Together.
Ohh. Forshadowing, perhaps?
:)
>Aeka returned with two glasses of water
and some bourbon to mix with them.
Wait for the honeymoon...
>She looked at him with a twinkle in her bleary eye. "Nobility are
>allowed, ah, multiple wives, and as Emperor, you could probably have as
>many as you wanted-- within bounds of reason, of course."
ie: 'You can only choose me and Ryouko.'
Precisely. :) Although she softens up on that a bit, later on.
>Aeka finally reddened. "Well... usually two,
Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge.
Want ta buy some pho-toes, guv'nah?
sometimes three, but four
>or more happens at times, although some consider, ahem, five and above
>rather scandalous." She fanned herself in embarrassment, thinking of
>that circumstance as little better than a harem.
I see. Four: normal. Five: harem. Got it.
Everybody has their moral lines drawn in the sand; Aeka is no exception. :)
>Although Tenchi was already nobility, she carefully couched her
>presentation around the throne, using it to lend credence to what she
>knew would be a difficult moral adjustment for the young Earther. She
>noticed Tenchi had wandered off into strange mental territory.
We already know my feelings on the matter. He'd make a break for freedom
within twenty years. :)
Hehehe. I still enjoy that fic. :)
>"Jurai, disappointment, not taking the throne."
>
>He matched answers to questions, and gaped. "ME?! I'm *NO*-body!"
>
>Almost instantly furious, Aeka raged to her feet. "YOU ARE *NOT*
>NOBODY!! EVER!!!"
"You're a weenie'" Aeka assured him.
TENCHI + CAST: MY BALONEY HAS A FIRST NAME, IT'S T-E-N-C-H... I!
DIRECTOR: CUT!!! Get the studio translater in here, ASAP!!
Later...
DIRECTOR: T-E-N-K-I? I don't know... Sounds too... Ranma-ish or something.
>"You are the most powerful, Tenchi-sama, and the direct heir to the
>throne. I could feel the enormity of your Jurai Power coming off the
>Tenchiken in waves. It was almost painful. No one... no one else could
>have defeated Kagato."
Except for Ranma, Sailor Moon, Lum, Dog Soldier...
Didn't see a crossover tag, either. :P
>Tenchi was stricken, remembering how poorly the night before had gone
>off,
I'd drop the 'off'
Upon reflection, I agree. Besides, shouldn't end on a preposition.
but Aeka reclaimed his attention one last time, her soft voice
>ringing in the room with a quiet power.
>
>"The Throne of the Emperor of Jurai will always belong to Masaki
>Tenchi... until his death.
Or the Facist Monarchy that is Jurai is overthrown in a revolution and
power is restored to the people.
AEKA: AND WE WILL THROWN DOWN THE IMPERIUM! LONG LIVE THE REBEL CAUSE! Han,
honey, would you--
DIRECTOR: CUTTT!!!! Yumi, you're Aeka, not Leia.
YUMI TAKADA: Well WHY NOT?! I don't WANT to be Aeka. She's prissy and mean
and has that horrible laugh--
DIRECTOR: Yumi-chan, that's your voice doing the laughing.
YUMI: Well, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Besides, Leia gets the guy!
DIRECTOR: Yumi, that's in America. This is Japan. No one ever gets anyone.
YUMI: Um... There's an A and an E in both our names?
DIRECTOR: Different written language structure: syllabic and ideogrammatic
conceptual versus alphabetic.
YUMI: ... darn...
>
>
>"Your place is waiting," he softly said, his voice seeming to
>unnaturally echo to her.
Aww. How sweet.
^_^
>While they were alone, Ryouko studied Aeka for a few seconds and then
>nodded to herself over a decision she'd already made. She put down her
>dish, placed an arm around Aeka's waist, and leaned in to whisper in the
>other's ear.
>
>"When the time comes, 'Sister', you have my support. I just want him to
>myself for a little while."
My, my. Ryouko is being awfully generous here.
Doesn't seem unreasonable after TMiL2.
>Ryouko leaned back and saw suds jumping off of her friend's shaking
>hands and tears spilling down her face. She gathered Aeka into a hug,
>and Aeka snaked her hands around Ryouko's torso and buried her face in
>Ryouko's shoulder.
"Time for some nooky," Ryouko thought. Seducing women sure was easier then
man, she mused.
Isn't it always. AAAAHH!! Stay away!!
*WHAM!!!*
AKANE: Pervert... [Ms. Tendou exits stage right...]
>
>"Strip."
>
>"Ah! Haha! Um, I was kinda hoping to ease into--"
"You'd better ease into it," Ryouko warned. "I hate guys that try to rush
things."
:j
>
>"I'm going to scrub your back," she said, arching one eyebrow. "Got a
>problem with that?"
>
>"Ah... ah... okay... I guess... um..."
"I'm going to do it with my breasts," Ryouko said.
(I can't take credit for that. It was one of the more hilareous scenes in
the manga)
Right. I remember that.
>Ryouko read that thought by the expression on his face, and she laughed
>for the sheer joy of it, causing Tenchi to chuckle in response. Her
>clothes faded away, leaving her nubile glory open to his inspection.
"But saggy there, eh?" Tenchi said.
Tenchi suddenly finds himself in a Washuu restraint globe... again.
RYOUKO: Didn't think Mom was the only one with a remote control, did you?
TENCHI: ... help...
RYOUKO: Now, speaking of sagging... or should I say "limp"?
>And the storm rose around her, entered her, became her, buried her in an
>embrace of blinding white heat, and her keen changed to a cry of union,
>love, and joy, shouting the name that was now her life.
"Nobuyuki!"
"I want a divorce," Tenchi said blandly.
RYOUKO: We're not married, yet.
TENCHI: Uh...
>Tenchi skidded to a stop when Ryouko whirled on him. She floated down to
>his level, her belly only now noticeably distended. It had taken three
>years, but with some help from Washuu, Ryouko was finally blissfully
>pregnant.
Washuu used some Nanniichuan on herself, eh? :)
Boy, you sure are thinking laterally tonight, hey? :)
>"Oh, yeeeah. Your father loves a good peek, and your grandfather loves a
>good squeeze, now and then. Some family I married into. Hmph!"
She did say she was willing to share. :)
There's a limit to everything... :)
>Tenchi paled, imagining the necessary increase in carrot yield from the
>fields, and promptly fainted. Ryouko reappeared, a soused and satisfied
>cabbit in each hand, held by the scruffs of their necks. Nagi wrinkled
>her nose as the sour odor of sake wafted around the room. Ryouko looked
>at her friend.
Drunk. Best way to do it. :)
Gah.
>She'd first feared that a coup was brewing, but she realized that the
>looks were ones of amusement. It happened often enough that she'd almost
>been to the point of screaming, wanting to know what in the world was
>going on. But pry and needle as she might, no one coughed up a single
>explanation. Even the Knights, Azaka and Kamidake, seemed to be grinning
>more than usual. Not so rare for Kamidake, but Azaka?! <I'm going to
>have to have words with them one of these days,> she vowed. <Legends
>reborn or no...>
Heh. They'd better watch out.
^_^
Back on Jurai, Azaka and Kamidake sneeze simultaneously. They look at each
other.
"Uh-oh." "Uh-oh."
>Highly interested in what had been planned, the rest got up and followed
>the blue-haired princess as she led them into a room Aeka didn't
>remember having been there before. <Washuu,> she correctly concluded,
>seeing the smirk on the scientist's face. The new room reminded her of
>the ladies' bath, except without the bath.
Oh, a paradox. :)
:j
>When she had finished tying the obi and adjusting Aeka's kimono, Sasami
>looked her up and down and nodded. They retraced their path, and Sasami
>led her to a single cushion on the side of the table opposite Tenchi and
>Ryouko. Once seated on her shins, Aeka clasped her hands to cover the
>trembling and peered wide-eyed at the two across from her. Sasami
>retreated and took her own seat, and Tenchi cleared his throat.
"Fooled you! Bet you thought I was going to marry you. It was all just a
joke," Tenchi teased.
Ryouko was a widow a moment later.
RYOUKO: NOW look what you've done. I've got to wash this!
AEKA: Just phase out of it.
RYOUKO: ...! Are you coming on to me?
AEKA: Are you just now figuring that out?!
RYOUKO: ... Couldn't you have been... *neater* about it? [Wipes Tenchi bits
off her bodice.]
Okay, that was plenty bad for one evening... >_<
>
>
>"Aeka," he warmly said, "you have been more than family to us; you have
>been our friend. And now, we would like for you to be more."
"We really need a maid. Mind cleaning up the place?"
/me frogs DB.
His voice
>firmed
voice was firm
No, I was wanting to show that his voice firmed from what it had just been
before.
>
>
>"Ah... yeah," Tenchi said, scratching his head. "Maybe if I keep them
>alternately pregnant--"
Hehehe. Very evil.
Somewhat OOC for canon Tenchi, but he *is* older and *really* experienced this
go around. :)
>Ryouko took the opportunity to whisper in Aeka's ear, the resemblance to
>the action from years ago sending a tingle along her spine. "I expect a
>*lot* more from you than just a little kiss on the cheek, but I can wait
>till later... Aeka-chan." She leaned back, wiggling her eyebrows.
>
>"EEEE!!!" Aeka screeched.
"Did't you know I was only using Tenchi to get to you?"
Uh... see above. :)
Interesting and enjoyable, though a bit slow for my taste. Didn't care much
for the Sasami marrying Tenchi bit at the end, but only because it feels
like something of a cop out since Sasamu didn't share the bonding
experiences the others did.
Yes, I see your point. On the other hand, the three of them complement each
other pretty well. They all bring something different to the marriage. Sasami
brings edible food. :P
Overall an enjoyable fic, not one of your best,
but better than a lot out there.
Yeah, I knew this wasn't going to be my best or particularly popular. It was
just one of those things you have to write to get out of your system. I'm not
at all unhappy with it, but it was a tough write for me.
Ja!
*******************************************
D.F. Roeder
FanFiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html