----- Original Message -----
From: "David Menard" <deibu_kun@sympatico.ca>
Here's part five, enjoy (or not, as you please~_^)
All forms of C+C are greatly appreciated
What! You think anyone's gonna bother?
Hah! You wish!
Sachiko paused, the gears in her head spinning. Her
father _was_ a remarkably good cook. This would require
strategy...
Well, he's had to do lots of cooking, after he got married ^.^
"Ah, er..." Ranma was stymied. She'd used the "M" word
against which he was powerless. Unless... He turned on the
cold water tap and splashed himself. He was amazed at how all
the old tricks came back to him, just like riding a bicycle.
Ehh ^.^;
Crap. Sachiko internally went through a litany of
profanities that nice girls like herself ostensibly wouldn't
know.
Er...
"Great! Now you just go on upstairs and get ready, I'll
take care of everything here. Shoo! Scat!" Ranma-chan hustled
her daughter out of the kitchen. "Leave everything to Daddy."
"er, mommy, whatever."
"RAN-MAAAAAA..." Ryouga's round face turned purple. Ranma
barely restrained herself from jumping for joy. It had been
far too long. C'mon, P-chan, say it, say it!
You wouldn't...
"...PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!"
*sigh*
Heh.
Yes!!!
Heh.
"OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodI'mSORR-EEEEEEE!!!!!"
Kobuta wailed. He'd hit a girl! Not only hit her, he'd laid
her out flat! He was a woman beater, the lowest scum on earth!
He couched down next to the supine form of the cute Amazon
girl, shaking her roughly by the shoulders. "Wake up! Wake up!
Oh God I've killed her! WAKE UP!!!!!!" His rattling became
even more frantic as the girl remained insensate. Oddly
enough, her aunt seemed content to stand back and watch. "For
God's sake, lady, get a doctor! Call an ambulance!!!"
Er, Kobuta's a christian? *shrug*
Still, I kinda like this kid. he has all of Ryoga's good features,
and almost none of his bad ones.
so quickly, she thought she might get whiplash. "Uhhh...
Anyone get number of hovertank that hit Ti-Pi..?"
Hovertank?
Ti-Pi felt her spine start to bend uncomfortably. "Is
okay, please, is okay!" She yelped as he squeezed harder. "Uh,
help? Auntie? Help? HE-EEELLLLLPPP!"
Heh. Classic Hibiki.
"Wo Ai Ni. Wode Airen..." Her voiced trailed off as
Kobuta's eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted, blood
fountaining from his nose as he fell. She looked down at the
heap that was her newfound husband, then over at her aunt.
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Auntie, TI-Pi broke him!!!! Waaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!"
LOL
"Heheheheheh...." Sachiko chuckled sinisterly as she
selected her wardrobe, a battle aura flaring to life around
her. "Kobuta Hibiki, tonight, I lead you into dating HELL!!!"
*Sigh*
She doesn't know Hibiki's very well, it would seem.
"You betcha!" Sachiko said fiercely. "Daddy wants me to
go out on a date with him, fine. But I'll be damned if he'll
enjoy himself, the jerk! I'm gonna make him take me out to the
nicest restaurant in town, then I'm gonna order the most
expensive thing on the menu, then I'm gonna have it sent back
three times until I'm happy, and _then_ I'm not even going to
_eat_ it, I'll just pick at it for a while!!!"
Hmm... I wonder if Kobuta would even notice this?
"Heh! I'm just getting started!" Sachiko cackled nastily.
"I'm gonna wear The Dress!" She whirled, producing an article
of clothing that bore more resemblance to a scarf than a
dress. The easiest way to describe it would be to say it was
very, VERY red, and barely there.
Ranko gasped. "Not THE dress?!" The Dress had originally
been Ranko's; she'd used it to utterly destroy a few boys in
her own time. The power of The Dress to reduce even the
strongest man to putty was not to be scoffed at.
"You betcha! Using its evil power, I will proceed to
torment him unmercifully, and then give him the cold shoulder
at every opportunity! BWAH-HA-HA-HAA!!!"
...Too bad he'll faint every time he sees Sacchi in that dress.
"No such luck, Sacchi."
"MY KITCHEN!!!" Sachiko yelped, dashing out the door.
a weird girl.
Ti-Pi looked surprised, released Kobuta and began to pat
herself down as though she was looking for something.
Momentarily, she produced an improbably thick book from her
cleavage and began to flip through it. Finding the page she
was looking for, she held it out to Kobuta, who scanned it
quickly.
"Hmm... I see... Uh huh... Ah, _that_ explains it,
yes..."
He's taking it pretty well.
Ti-Pi giggled happily. "Airen understand now?"
Kobuta nodded. "Not a damn word. I can't read Chinese."
<face-fault>
the challenger.' Oh, _I_ see." Kobuta laughed. "So I'm your
husband now, am I? Well, that's better than death, I suppose,
I..." He blinked, and shook himself. "WHAT AM I SAYING?! I
CAN'T MARRY YOU! I'M ENGAGED!!!"
A good kid. Not too bright, though.
Kobuta let out the breath he'd been holding and nodded.
Dad would know what to do...
RYOGA:"Mm-hmm. I see. Don't worry, just do like I do"
<points a finger at RANMA, takes a deep breath>
RYOGA<shouting>"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Ti-Pi blinked in surprise as her revered auntie, who was
usually so cool, calm and collected, broke into a tirade of
Chinese invective that turned the air blue. Kobuta turned,
shocked, to Ti-Pi.
NAGA:"You're still too naive, Shampoo!"
Burakuro was in his room, his attention fully focused on
his meditations. Well, maybe meditation isn't the right word
to use, but the proper term also starts with "m" and ends with
"tion", and also tends to be done in private, so why quibble?
Ehh.. ^^;;
At any rate, he was moments away from achieving Satori
when Lina appeared overhead in a flash of light.
"Oh, Bura-sama..." She purred, hovering in mid air.
Burakuro looked up, blanching, weapon still in hand.
Lina got a good look at how her Bura-sama was passing the
time. Her eyes went wide with surprise and delight.
"Oh, Bura-sama... Is that for _me_...?"
Back in her room, Kin smiled as the screams of terror
started. That should keep him out of her hair for a while.
^^;;;
NEXT TIME: Shampoo and Ranma, reunited at last!
Hmm... Is Shamps's hubby still alive?
Ranma+Shamps...
Then again, she ain't a school teacher ^^
Ti-Pi meets
her co-wife, Ranko tries to get some sleep and the awful power
of The Dress is unleashed against an unsuspecting Kobuta
Noo!!! He'll die of blood loss!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks to everyone who wrote with words of
encouragement; I expect that this part of the series will run
another two chapters tops, taking us to the end of the All-
Japan Queen of Fighters Tourney,
Will Ranma's masculine pride keep him from competing!
"Tomorrow sees undone what happens not today.
Indecision brings delays,
days lost lamenting lost days"
Tel:050-3063241
Group:Xes
http://www.ratol.fi/~eruuska/
Martial arts.
Enlightenment.