[Warhammer walks out calmly.]

   WH: You know, in this little escepade we call life, one can't help but wonder what happens to those who just plain go wacko. (whips out a fan with the kiyouki/insanity kanji on it) So, let's watch.



Define Happiness

A short Tenchi Muyo-fic
Written by
Teknos Warhammer

Kiyone ran with the plasma cannon in her arms. She turned around and fired several more rounds of energy at her pursuer. She was inside the base of the dark organization Shadow Star and its leader Nova was within as well. After much hard work, and because of one certain partner, her cover was blown.

"But Kiyone, how can you be Nova? You're supposed to be a good guy!" Mihoshi whined, ducking for cover.

Kiyone was in reality the leader of one of the most well run criminal syndicates in the Galaxy Police sector of space. The Shadow Star. Whose infamous and unknown leader that only went by the name of Nova. Now, the only person outside of the Shadow Star who knew what Nova really looked like was Mihoshi.

Which caused Kiyone to fire several more rounds of plasma at her former partner. Her voice was laced with a slight touch of major insanity. "It's easy Mihoshi. I needed something to get back at you and your bastard Grandpa! Being underneath your eyes was the perfect cover. Now, I am finally going to kill you for all the misery you caused me!"

Kiyone increased the power on the gun and blasted the box Mihoshi hid behind into smithereens.

Of course, Mihoshi was tossed away by the blast to the other side of the hallway. Where Mihoshi then took a hold of one of the machine gun lasers and decided to continue her job. Even though she didn't like it. She stood up and announced, "Kiyone Makibi. You are under arrest for grand theft, larceny, arson, and too many misdemeanors to count. Come out now and give yourself up."

Her only response was several more volleys of plasma. Until Kiyone realized that her gun was out of ammunition. The only other weapon she had on her was an older Earth 'Spyder', an automatic machine handgun. As if it would do her any good! Also, was the small blaster on her gauntlet, good for only a few shots.  So, throwing the empty cannon at Mihoshi, she ran to the only avenue of escape possible. To the power levels of the station.

Several minutes later, the door to the power plant of the station threw open and Kiyone ran though and onto the central platform. Mihoshi was still in pursuit, trying to remember which rights to read to her criminal. In the center of the platform, another floor hung above the steaming and glowing Ultra Energy
Matter. The first of the two women yanked the door open and looked up to her pursuer.

"I was always better Mihoshi. It's just that you always got the credit for it because of the Marshall and stuck you to me like a curse!" She jumped down the opening to the lower platform.
Without thinking, Mihoshi jumped down and landed, yet she didn't see the person she pursued.

She heard a click behind her and turned around quickly to see Kiyone holding the hand blaster at point blank. Yet, while Mihoshi turned the long barrel of her weapon knocked the gun out of her hand. Kiyone's face was a mixture of pure shock and rage.

"It! Is! Not! Fair! You always get out of it!" she screamed and fell on her knees. Mihoshi couldn't help but feel sympathy for her friend, turned foe.

"Kiyone. You're under arrest. Please come quietly." She said holding the barrel at her friend, which was a hard and scary thing to do. The tears on Mihoshi's face came slow and painful.

After a few sniffs, Kiyone stood up and then remembered something that was poking at the small of her back. Thinking fast, she pointed to the other side of the room and screamed,

"WHAT'S THAT!?" Of course, Mihoshi turned around and saw nothing, but when she turned back to see Kiyone putting a handgun to her head, an evil smile on her face as she growled,

"Surprise." And unloaded all 12 bullets in, or through, Mihoshi's head. As Mihoshi's body slumped to the ground, a thought came to Kiyone. Mihoshi was dead! Though to most others, it would be tramautic, yet a smile began to creep across her face.

    Mihoshi was gone forever! She began to laugh and had to hold onto the ladder for balance. She turned to the corpse and screeched, "You're dead, Mihoshi! You got that? Dead! D-e-d, DEAD! Or are you just too stupid to comprehend that too!" With that, she kicked the body into the UEM where it would dissolve into nothing.

    Looking at the weapon that ended Mihoshi's life, Kiyone knew she had to get rid of it as well. As much as she didn't want to, she threw the gun into the UEM as well. Such a weapon was rare in this part of space, but the amount of money she had accumulated was even more than that. Besides, she could always get another from smugglers.

    Climbing up the ladder, she made her way to the control room where her partners in crime were waiting for her. Yet, when she opened the door, she found that they were all dead as well. "Oh no."

    She grumbled in frustration at seeing those loyal men get killed because of Mihoshi's luck. She sighed and turned to the direction of Mihoshi's new tomb, "Mihoshi, if you weren't dead, I'd kill you."

    Walking forward, she found on the long range radar that a GP strike force was heading towards the base. With some quick thinking, Kiyone redirected all the stolen money into her umbrella accounts and erased her records from the reigstry. If all this went without a hitch, she'd be able to retire already.

    That was when she noticed a little warning on the main screen that Mihoshi's body and the Spyder had interferred with the power flow of the base. So much that the base was going to blow up pretty soon. Turning on the transceiver, she acted a voice of panic to the lead ship,

    "Hello? Anyone there? This is 1st Class Detective Kiyone Makabi. Can anyone here me?"

    Within seconds, the fleet commander's face appeared, "Yes, Detective. What's wrong?"

    "Hurry, you got to get me out of here! The base is going to blow up within a matter of minutes!"

    "Can you confirm that?"

    "Yes! Get a readout of the power flow of the base's integrity field."

    Another cadet had voiced that Kiyone's message was indeed true and that the base would soon blow up.

    "Alright! Just try and get to an emergency pod and... wait, where's Detective Mihoshi?"

    Kiyone faked a sigh, "She's dead. Nova killed her. I was helpless..."

    "We'll talk about it later. Just get to an escape pod and we'll recover you as soon as we can!"

"Alright." She said calmly, then turned off the tranceiver. She turned around and her fake frown of sorrow vanished into the most malicious grin she could make. "Sucker."

*****

The next day, Kiyone met with the Grand Marshall of the Galaxy Police Force. The Marshall did not take the death of his granddaughter that well. She was able to console him a little bit by reiterating the same story she told the commander of the strike force. Adding the fact that  the identity of Nova would never be known among the GP.

Walking out of the office and into the elevator, Kiyone couldn't help but smirk. Mihoshi was gone, she had been promoted to First Class Officer, she would have no problems with money, the Marshall would soon follow in the footsteps of his relative, and given a medal for bravery for 'avenging' Mihoshi.

    "How did that earth saying go? 'It's miller time'?" She wondered aloud. She had no idea what a miller was, but it would seem appropriate right now.

That was when she woke up.

Looking around, it appeared to be a rather large and spacey office. She was lying in a large and plushy chair. The office had a few files on the left side and a picture or two on the right. There were several plaques and certificates on the wall to her left.

Getting up, she walked to several of the plaques and carefully read each one. Several for Bravery Under Fire? Promotions from Detective all the way up to... Grand Marshall? She took a look at her lapel and confirmed her suspicions. She _was_ the Grand Marshall.

From one of the more recent picture showed that she had grown a few years

older. She looked like she was just reaching 40, but felt as if she were half that age.

The others in the picture was somewhat surprising. It was Tenchi, garbed in Juraian royal attire. On both of his sides, was Tsunami and on the other, was a girl she couldn't recognize, but she was
human.

From reading a her personal log, she found that Mihoshi was and had been

dead for a few years. Kiyone's boyfriend, Ramia, after going steady for a year, proposed to her and had accepted .The diary she found went into detail on how great a guy he was. Understanding, patient, and good humored.

Also, the other girl beside Tenchi in the picture was his long-time (and secret) girlfriend, Hiwa Takahashi. Apparently, when he was about to leave for Jurai, he requested that she accompany him. It eventually came to where he proposed to her. Ryoko didn't take the news well.

The phone on her desk rung and when she answered it, it appeared to be a direct call from Jurai itself. On the other side of the line appeared to be Ayeka, by the looks of, it she had grown as well.

"Greetings Marshall. I trust Ryoko's been sleeping well?"

Kiyone blinked, that was when she remembered. Ryoko was arrested for attempted assassination of Juraian royalty and Tenchi's fiancee, and was time imprisoned just the day before. Ryoko was sentenced to the FULL arm of Juraian law. Time sleep for the next ten thousand years. Even to the GP, Tenchi's friends, and herself, that seemed a little too extreme. So, it was reduced to five thousand years. Better than ten, Kiyone thought nervously.

She nodded in response to the Holy Councilwoman. Then a few choice memories came back to her about this life.

"Good. I'll make sure and place the extra credits in your..."

"No."

Ayeka blinked as Kiyone replied. "Don't you remember? I DON'T take bribes. Never had, never will. That was why the poor sap before me was kicked out. I don't intend to make the same mistake he did."

The Juraian woman smiled darkly and replied, "Very well... I should have expected that from you my friend. Either way, have a good day Marshall."

The line was cut and she sighed heavily. Relations with Jurai had been a little smoother between them all, but the pure might of the Juraian fleet made Kiyone think a little more than usual. Of course, Tenchi was a nice guy and wanted as little confrontation as possible. Sadly, the Holy Council thought differently at times. Good thing Ayeka was so good at blackmailing all the black sheep of the council, or else they might as well have a war on her hands.

She leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, and pinched herself. Nothing happened. It wasn't a dream, but a wonderful reality...

...except that she woke up again.

It was in her room at the apartment she and Mihoshi lived at. Mihoshi was still asleep in the bed beside her. It was still dark, work wouldn't start for several hours, and Kiyone wanted to cry.

    She turned to Mihoshi and whispered tiredly, "Mihoshi. I hate you! You've been nothing but a curse to me and I pray for your death to release me from you." Without thinking, she took her standard pistol, aimed it at Mihoshi's head, and fired. Not even bothering to look at the mess she made, she placeed the gun back on the table and slumped back into sleep. If her guess was right...

*****

    "Good morning!"

    Kiyone leaned up from her futon like a lever and saw that her suspisions were right. Mihoshi was still alive. She looked over and picked up her gun. Looking at the register, no shot was fired. She looked at Mihoshi's bed and sighed again. No shot bullet. No hole through the floor. No hole through the pillow. No hole in Mihoshi's head... well, that was still under debate.

    Sighing once more, she stood up and started to get ready for work, feeling resigned to her fate. Life with Mihoshi. No further explanation was needed.

If there was pain, it couldn't last forever. Besides, one never know if she might get lucky and Mihoshi would slip and fall and crack her head or something to that effect. She frowned and said to herself, "Don't count on it."

The End

[Outside their aparment, WH is taking a brisk early morning stroll.]

    WH: You know, life can downright stink sometimes. (Inclines his head to Kiyone and Mihoshi's apartment) Kiyone knows that all too well. And at times, we find ourselves in dreams were we would be the most happy, filling our beings with the phrase, "If only...". It's nice to get away at times, but you all know, as well as myself, that life wasn't meant to be pleasant and you'll have to buck up and face it.

    I also have a theory about people like Kiyone; the more you suffer in life, the greater your reward must be in the afterlife. To quote a late religious leader, 'No suffering goes unnoticed. No experience is ever wasted.' So, if that were the case, she must probably be in for something REAL good when her time comes, provided she remain true to what she knows is right.

    I wrote this story as a way to vent out my anger after reading a fanfic which shall remain anonomyous. Needless to say, I was very displeased with myself. I should have not let it get to me, but I did. Which proves that people are people and that they make mistakes. It's not easy to avoid making mistakes if you don't know what you are doing.

    Just a little FYI: Kiyone's boyfriend was the brother of the antagonist of the Pretty Sammy mini-arc from the manga. Let it be known that he is probably the ONLY thing related to Pretty Sammy that I will dare touch. So, don't get your hopes up for anything related to that.

Now, I'm rewriting this just for fun and how I feel that Kiyone is one of the more repressed characters in anime. Not that I'm showing any kind of bias mind you.

(From the window of her apartment.)

Kiyone: (still tired and irritated) Yeah, whatever.

    Anyway, whether this will be a part of my mega-xover or not, it is still undecided. I may or may not, but either way, it will have little to no impact on my stories. Or will it?

And one last thing; Despite Kiyone's remark before she woke up the first time, don't drink beer. It's bad for the body and soul. Besides, just think of the cool stuff you could get besides beer... like, fishcrakers! Or Ice Cream. Or other stuff...

Kiyone: Oh stop with the droning and get on with it.

I was. But since there's nothing more to say concerning this, I leave you all and as the legendary Red Skeleton said, "Good night and may God bless."

    Kiyone: It's still morning, you know.

    Whatever!

[Warhammer continues on his jog away from the apartment as quickly as he can jog.]


'We know the Golden Rule by heart, now let's live it!'
                                        -Common Sense
-Warhammer (ICQ#: 72406436)

http://www.geocities.com/teknos.geo/

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