I don't believe this. Someone actually emailed me asking that I not only
write more of BWY, after I had come to the conclusion that it was bad
self insertion and should die, but he also asks me to repost what I have.
I don't know whether to feel honored or shocked. Well, back by semi-
popular demand....
"Blue Without You"
A fic by Kevin "Kionon" Callahan
Chapter 1
This is blatantly Self-Insertion, that's the point. Comments, critisms
flames, death threats, mail bombs, and MSTings can be sent to
Kionon@homail.com Yes, I want you to MST it, for silence is far worse
than screaming outrage.
This fic is rated PG.
Next, who to thank: Me, Devin De Gruyl, Sean Gaffney, as well as *deep
breath* Louis Armstrong, Fats Weller, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Benny
Goodman, Billie Holiday, Charlie Parker, the Thelonious Monk Quintet,
Dizzy Gillespie, the Art Blakey quintet, the Miles Davis Quintet, the one
and only John Coltrane, Ornette Coleman, and KFC promoter himself, Charles
Mingus, all whose music was played constantly during the production of
this.
_-_-_
They looked deeply into each other's eyes, something was drawing them
close to another. The couldn't evade it, they couldn't fight it, but then
they
didn't feel the need to fight it. It was a warming effect. Kevin reached
over
to pull Ami closer and...
* * *
"Dammit." Kevin cursed as he tried once more to write that scene. He
just couldn't make himself do it. Could he really claim that
author-insertion
was his forte if he couldn't even write a simple kiss scene between him and
Ami Mizuno? Maybe it was the true servant feeling in him. He couldn't be
very good self-insert if he didn't want to hurt Ami in anyway.
Slamming the keyboard back into the desk, he made for his bed. No work
would be done tonight. This block had been hounding him ever since he
started the "Blue Without You" series. It was hailed by some to be the worst
piece of crap to ever be written, while others said it was true genius. Who
truly knew what it was? At that point, he was the only one that knew the
truth
about it. "It won't be finished..." he mused.
How could he truly finish it? Kill himself right before the kiss?
That had been tossed around with his fanfic buddies, but he ultimately
rejected it. Hmm, maybe the next time he could have himself captured and...
that still wouldn't give Mercury a reason to get romantically involved with
him,
just how was he going to do this anyway? It seemed impossible. Impossible.
Impossible.
Imposs...
That was his last thought as he fell asleep.
* * *
Sunlight shone bright in Kevin's eyes as it flitered through the
shades. It fell on him, striping him to himself. The light was what woke
him,
but there was more to attract his attention than that fact.
The first thing Kevin noticed when he woke up the next morning was
that he was cold. The second thing was that his back hurt. Third thing he
noticed was the first two things were caused by him lying on the floor. The
fourth thing was truly what captured his attention. A dark haired girl lay
in his bed, surrounded by his covers. He slapped himself in order to make
sure he was awake. It started stinging immediately, much to his temporary
relief.
However, that action had no effect on the sleeping girl who now lay in
his bed. Kevin wasn't stupid and although he wouldn't allow himself to
believe
his reasoning, he knew the girl in his bed could only be Her. Ami Mizuno.
The
Blue Haired Goddess. What did he need a fanfic for? Thoughts of ditching the
whole "Blue Without You" project occurred to him.
He had to slap himself once more to calm himself down. This couldn't
be happening, not in real life anyway. It just wasn't possible. Maybe
this...
Maybe this was Kelly, his cousin. She had Ami's looks... kinda... 'Yea,
that's
it, must be. My parents must have told her to go to guestroom when she came
over because... she was drinking and didn't want to call her own parents..'
Kevin calculated in his mind, but his thoughts on the matter hadn't the ring
of personal truth that the possibility of Ami Mizuno's presence had.
"No... no this not possible," he paced back in forth. "This is not
happening, nope, not at all... I'm not seeing this, it's not happening,
she's
not here," he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, "yes she is, oh
my god, Ami Mizuno's in my bed, no not possible, must be an illusion, I'll
just go over there and shake her yea, and then just like a mirage she'll
go bye bye really fast, yea great idea."
Though really debating the option of whether or not to wake Ami was
not an really an option at all. Had he been thinking a bit more rationally
he would have remembered his mother would ask no questions if she found a
girl in his room, sleeping in his bed no less, she would just kill him.
She had said as much too. So despite the fact he knew not the reason for the
practicality of such a desicion as waking her, Kevin did know the purely
irational reason. His reaction probably saved them both quite a bit of
trouble.
He reached over and gently shook the sleeping embodiment of cuteness.
She stirred, yawned and looked up into his face. Then she screamed. Kevin
quickly backpeddled away from the screaming for, but in a moment of reason,
he opened the closet, pulled her out of the bed and pushed her in, telling
her over and over in what broken Japanese her could speak to remain
perfectly
quiet.
"Oh hell," he managed as he heard the soft patting of his mother's
slippers upon tie tile floor only tens of feet away. Searching around the
room in a frantic attempt to find someting to help him explain away the
sceram. Finally he found a thumbtac lieing in thenorthwest corner of the
room. Placing the tac on the floor as supposed evidence, he danced a
momentary
happy dance and awaited his mother's arrival.
She came as expected, in 2 minutes flat. "Kevin, hon, what was that
scream?" she said as she blinked tiredly.
"Well I stepped on that tac and was just about to pick it up when you
came in," Kevin explained.
"Honestly," she sighed, "You could tolerate pain just a little better,
couldn't you? Oh, and Kevin, don't forget to get ready for school or you're
going to be late," she reminded him as she walked out.
Nearly slamming the door to fast, Kevin congratulated himself with a
hearty "ALL RIGHT! Now," he thought aloud, "What was I doing... The Closet!"
He quickly opened the closet door apologizing in Japanese. His bow was met
with a slap that knocked him hard enough to topple him over.
"I speak English. Now, you tell me what's going on here, understand me,
Mr-?"
"Uh, Kevin, yea, Callahan, Kevin Callahan," he supplied as he recovered
from the slap.
"Right, Mr. Callahan, no tell me, why am I here?"
Kevin took a deep breath and started "Ok, as weird as this is going to
seem... I'm uhm your, uhm, creator..."
"Mr. Callahan, if you're saying you are God, then frankly there's no
reason to continue this conversation, because it's obvious you are lying."
"That's not exactly what I mean, Ami-cha-" realizing what he said he
stopped and blushed.
Unperturbed, the girl continued her questioning. "Then what did you mean,
Mr. Callahan?"
"My name's Kevin and as for what I meant, I'm an author. I wrote you,"
with that, Kevin slumped onto his bed.
"Wrote me? You must take me for an idiot. Now start explaining."
Kevin sighed. "I wrote you! I swear it. You are my character, and
surprisingly enough, this is just the situation the fic- uhm, story is
about."
Kevin jumped as he heard his mother coming back. "Quick," he said sharply,
"Get in the closet and don't come out until I say so." She began to
complain,
but with an "oof" was pushed back into the closet. "I'll explain later, just
trust me ok? Give me ten minutes and I'll explain whatever I can. Now, I
have
to go, please I pray of you, believe me.... Oh hi Mom."
"Is someone in there?"
"Haha, no, just talking to my stupid computer..." Kevin replied as
they continued out the door and Ami could no longer make out what they were
saying.
Coming back in a few minutes later, Kevin handed her some OJ and a
biscuit and helped her out of the closet. "Here, it's all I have, I have to
change, but I'll do it in the bathroom, but before even that I'll give you
that explanation I promised you." He grabbed a tape off the shelf above the
desk the computer was on, popped it in the VCR and locked his door. He
turned
on the TV and pointed to it. She calmly watched a few minutes of it, before
he turned it off. "The original creator of this show, Naoko Takeuchi, really
created your image and quite a bit of your personality. I'm a fan fiction
author.. and a fanboy. I've expanded that personality in my own work. To
present someone my own characters could deal with. Sailor Gemini," he
pointed
to a picture on his wall, "is very fond of you, and considers you a great
friend, while she never had the nerve to tell you.
"Look... I don't know how you got here. I don't know why God, or the Kami,
or Buddha, or whoever else, including the universe itself, decided I was
somehow
worthy enough to be graced by your presence, but you're here now and we've
got to
deal with that," Kevin said as he looked at her with guilty eyes, "are there
any questions you have for me?"
Ami cocked her head, "Well, you did mention something about a story like
this. What exactly goes on in that story?"
He nodded in approval, "Good question. It's slightly different than this,
For one, I'm the prince of Mars, who had been rincarnated and didn't find
out
you people existed in real life or my own past until I get sucked into an
alternate
dimension... Well,those aren't the main details, the main details are you
pop
into my life, wreak havoc unknowingly and I'm left to put together the
peices.
Anything el-"
"Kevin! Stop playing around on that stupid computer and get to the bus
stop or you'll miss the bus," came a muffled voice from outside the room.
"Well it seems like I have to leave. My mother should be leaving soon here
in a moment too, she needs to be to work by 7:00. My mom won't be coming
home until
I will, at 3:00, so be sure to be in my room at that time. I'll get to you
first,
don't worry about that, she won't find out you're here. Then we'll see what
to do
about this situation. My mother has a small red car that you can watch for
until
she leaves. Then you can walk about and explore the house. I wouldn't go
outside
if I was you though, it is a school day." With that he saluted, turned on
his
heels, grabbed his backpack and walked out the door.
Ami wanted to scream, to yell, to pull the credit card she had in her
pocket out, head for the nearest airport, and fly to Tokyo. She even felt
around
for her henshin pen and communicator, neither of which were present,
thinking she
might want to use them. She did none of those things, she simply nodded and
curled
up in the warm bed she had slept in the night before and nibbled at the
biscuit.
To do otherwise would not be rational and if there was one thing she prided
herself in, it was her ability to remain completely rational at the most
insane
of times.
She began exploring her new surroundings when that boy and his mother had
left for wherever they were going. It was certainly bigger than anything Ami
was
used to. It had a huge master bedroom with a hot tub built into its
connected bath
-room, three ten by ten rooms besides the master, another bathroom, two
dining
rooms, one formal, one informal, a living room, a den, and a two car garage.
It
was one story, but it seemed to stretch forever.
Locating the remote control to a huge television set, she proceeded to flip
through channels. Finding nothing, she looked around for a book. Only
finding an
economics textbook, she sat down to read it. By the time, 2:30 rolled around
she
had read the book cover to cover three times, and had even answered all the
review
questions the book posed to its readers in a half empty noteboook she had
found on
the boy's desk. Noting the time, she poured herself a glass of water and
headed for
Kevin's room. There she waited.
A door creaked open, "Yea, mom I need to go send that e-mail right away.
Yea, I can still help with the chores..." Kevin came into the room and
gasped.
She was still there, sitting at his desk drinking a glass of water, looking
just
as goddess-like as she should. Surely he thought he was hallucinating in the
morning. She couldn't be there when he came back, he told himself, but no,
she
was there. Really there. Really Really Really there. "Uhm.. konnichiwa,
Ami-chan,"
he stuttered, "How was your day?"
Ami looked up at him and handed him the notebook with the economics
answers in it. Since it was his economics textbook in queston, Kevin
recognized
the answers immediately. "That bad, huh?" She nodded. He sighed. "Sorry
there
wasn't anything more for you to do."
. "Now, if you're
done trying to make out to be some kind of serial killer, I have an idea to
get
you to be able to stay here. You can use your talents to uhm... hack into
computer
systems, right?"
She glared at him when he finished.
"Hear me out, if you can hack into a Tokyo high school, create false
records, and then enroll here, we'd be home free. My mother won't say no to
an
exchange student, especially one of your talents. She'll be convinced you'd
make
me more studious. So, what do you say? Can you try it? You can use one of
the
community college's computers if you're afraid you're not good enough to use
mine without being caught."
Her gaze lightened, but it still held the answer of 'no.'
"C'mon, we don't have a lot of options here. Please, this is really
for your own good, you may not agree with the methods, but it is. I brought
you here somehow, true, but I don't know how to get you back. Maybe it's
that
the universe feels I need you, and until I don't you're stuck here. This is
real life, and I can't use my supposed author powers to send you back.
Besides,
I uhm.. don't.. uh.. want to," he finished, blushing as he did.
'His attitude is kind of cute' she thought to herself, unbidden. Almost
blushing herself, she turned to the computer. "I'll change the records from
here,
I'll use a trick I know to hide the hostmask. First thing to do is to find a
high
school with many kids and many hard workers. That way my sudden appearance
in their
files won't seem as suspicious. They might think they just forgot who I was.
I'll
make my grades lower, since you say no one with my IQ exists here."
"Well, maybe Steven Hawking, but he's not a female Japanese student, is
he?" Kevin joked rather badly.
"No, obviously not. I'll give myself a... 97% average. That doesn't seem
strange for Japan, if your Japan works the way my Japan does. Ah here we
go...
Mitsubishi High School, Name: Ami Mizuno Age: 16 DOB: September tenth, 1983.
It
is 1999, you said?" He nodded, and she continued reading off what she had
typed,
"Average: 97% Extracurricular Activities: Swim team, chess club. Not
currently
enrolled. Schooling in America, starting fall. Is that acceptable, Kevin?"
He nodded and replied, "Yes, that's fine, but one more thing. Can you hack
into a bank?"
"Kevin, hacking into a school computer is one thing, hacking into a bank
is quite another. You wouldn't want me to do this for personal gain would
you?"
Ami asked as she turned from the monitor.
Laughing nervously, Kevin shook his head and said, "No, but you need some
way to get money. An atm account or a credit card. I can't pay for
everything
you'll need. And you will need clothes... among other things."
Ami frowned as she replied, "Unfortunately, once again you're right. I
wish, however, that you were wrong. I could try to hack an account, however,
it
will be far more dangerous. If we get caught..."
"We won't. You won't. You're far too intelligent for that. You can't make
mistakes."
"I wish you were right, but security systems have gotten more severe
every year and I'm several years out of date. Last time I... well, uh," she
blushed hotly, "Uh, hacked an extremely secure system was over 5 years ago,
relative to you and your time period. I'm good, but I don't think I'm that
good."
"You'll have to be."
Sighing, she turned back to the monitor and began her grissily work. "Ok,
setting up account now. Requesting a resend of an ATM card. It should arrive
in a
few days."
Kevin bit his lip. "Now my part. Convincing my mother to let you stay with
us. Luckily she's a 60s bleeding heart liberal.."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
---
Author Notes Continued:
Thanks for reading it, remember that addy.
Sailor Moon is Copyright 1992 Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Toei Animation
and Bandai. English Language Adaptation is Copyright 1999 DIC
Productions, L.P. Any product names mentioned herein are Copyright
their respective owners. All rights reserved. No claim of ownership,
expressed or implied is made in the use of these trademarked names,
characters, and likenesses. Kevin Callahan is Copyright me, it's my name :P