********************************************
Lillin
Chapter 1: Arrival
By Jonathan K. Gaters
(KatarnX2B@Netzero.net)
Based on Neon Genesis Evangelion
Characters are all property of Gainex
This story (c) Jonathan K. Gaters, 2000
Original characters property of
Jonathan T. Gaters
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*****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING*****
This contains spoilers for Episodes 2, 12-24.
*****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING*****
*****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING*****
Contains coarse language, cursing, fanservice, violence, and death. Not
suitable for _anyone_ under 13 (like you care). All may now cheer.
*****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING****WARNING*****
First Began: November 19, 1999
Finished On: May 24, 2000
Posted On:
Author's Note: This is about Misato. Not the thirty-year-old Misato but
the fourteen-year-old Misato. This happens before, during, and slightly
after Second Impact. I hated the fact that there were no set times in
NGE. They rarely told you the month, let alone the day. I decided to
counter that by giving very precise times, down to the second. If you're
wondering what I'm counting down to, add it up! If you can't figure it
out you'll find out by then end. I am exploring a new type of insertion
fic. This is a Family Insertion Fic, or FIF. Not a Self Insertion Fic,
or SIF. The character Richard Landry-Gaters is my little brother. He is
thirteen when I am writing this. He will be fourteen in the year
two-thousand. His birthday is May 24, 1986. He was conceived almost
exactly fifteen years before Second Impact was supposed to occur. I
decided to make him a little older to fit my plan. I felt that it was
fitting to have all of the pilots conceived the same length of time
before impact as the Children were after. Are you confused? Then read
on to discover the mystery of... *The Lillin*. (MWEHEHHEHHEHHEHHEHHEEH!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
4:15.27pm June 9, 2000
T-Minus 3:3:7:44.33
Inside the Katsuragi household all is quiet. Katsuragi Misato
is in her room finishing her homework. Her mother is sitting at the
kitchen table quietly sipping her tea and reading the paper. The
afternoon sunlight is starting to cast long shadows through the windows.
The trees are slowly waving in a slight breeze, their leaves making
wonderful light patterns on the furniture.
The phones begins to ring breaking the silence. "I'll get it!"
Misato burst out her room, now finish with her homework, wanting to have
long phone conversations with her friends. Misato picks up the phone
with a big grin on her young face. She answers the phone cheerfully,
"Hello! Katsuragi household! Misato speaking!"
Her smile quickly disappears from her face. She turns to her
mother, a little anger in her voice, and says, "It's for you."
Her mother walks through the Dining room and into the Living
room, coming to a stop at the phone. She takes the phone from Misato,
attributing her frown to the disappointment that it's not one of her
friends.
"Hello," she says, "this is Ms. Katsuragi."
<That's funny,> comes the reply, <I would have thought you
would still be in the habit of calling yourself Mrs.>
"What do you want?" Ask Ms. Katsuragi at the sound of her
ex-husband's voice.
<Misato.> He goes straight for the heart of the matter.
"You can't have her." Says Ms. Katsuragi sternly.
<What's the matter? Did you forget our agreement? I get two
weeks a month. If I choose not to accept custody then the days collect.
I believe its up to about a month and two days now. I choose to take
custody of our daughter for the period of one month and two days.>
"I won't let her go."
<Do you want to bring a judge into this?>
*sigh* "Alright," resigns Ms. Katsuragi, "you win. When are you
going to pick her up?"
<Have her ready by eight thirty tomorrow morning.>
"What! She can't leave tomorrow! Even if you get past the fact
that she can't get ready that fast there's still the fact that she has
school! You can't expect to get that much time with her until Summer
Break."
<She will go to school here. The papers have already been sent.
They should be arriving there soon.>
As if his words were some cue there is a knock at the door.
Misato runs towards the door. Ms. Katsuragi looks to the front door as
Misato opens the door and accepts a package from a man dressed in a
black suit and black sunglasses. Misato walks back to her mother and
drops a white envelope with the blue UN symbol printed on the back.
Ms. Katsuragi opens the envelope to find four sheets of paper
within. Three of the four sheets are stapled together. Ms. Katsuragi
quickly scans the stapled sheets. They appear to be school transfer
papers, needing only her signature. The other sheet is a warning. A
sypnosios of it would read, 'Give Misato to me or you will be arrested
and Misato would be put into my custody anyway'.
"What's going on? Why is the UN involved in this?!"
<I'm sorry, I can't tell you that.>
"Where are you taking her!?" ask Ms. Katsuragi, on the edge of
panic.
<Ahh, I shouldn't be telling you this but... Antarctica.>
"What the hell do you need her for in Antarctica!?!"
<I can't tell you that. All I can tell you is that all of
humanity is depending on this.>
"I don't really have a choice, do I?"
<I'm afraid not. Tell Misato to get ready and I'll see her in a
little while. Goodbye.> With that he cuts his connection.
Ms. Katsuragi slowly hangs up the phone. As she turns, she comes
to face a frowning Misato. "What does *he* want?" she asks.
"Pack your things. You'll be staying with your father for two
months."
Ms. Katsuragi brushes past Misato on her way to her room to cry.
'Even after they're divorced he still finds a way to make her
cry! What makes it worse is that he's using _me_ to do it!' thinks
Misato.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
8:28.46am June 10, 2000
T-MINUS 3:2:16:31.14
Misato is standing outside her house, her mother beside her.
Around them are two trunks, four suitcases, and one carry-on bag.
Misato has a back-pack slung over her shoulder.
A black sedan pulls into the drive-way by the house. Misato
notes the UN licenses plate. Misato checks her watch. 'Eight thirty on
the dot. At least these bastards are punctual.'
A man steps out of the drivers seat. He walks around to the
trunk and opens it. He proceeds to load Misato's two trunks into the
trunk of his car. The man then loads her four suitcases into the front
passenger seat. He puts Misato's carry-on bag into the back left seat.
The man finally walks back around to the right side of the car, opens
the right-back door, and stands in front of it.
Ms. Katsuragi hugs Misato close to her and whispers into her
ear, "Take care. Come back to me Mi-chan."
"I will mama, I will." she whispers back.
Misato walks over to the sedan and sits in the rear passengers
seat. She spares a glare at the driver as she steps past him. She waves
goodbye to her mother who has tears in her eyes.
The driver shuts the door, walks back to the driver's side, and
climbs in. The driver starts the engine and pulls out of the drive-way.
As her house grows smaller in the distance, she feels a renewed hatred
for her father.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
8:42.10am June 10, 2000
T-MINUS 3:2:16:17.50
As the sedan pulls up beside the plane on a private airfield,
Misato is amazed. Beside her, being refueled, is a Concord super-sonic
passenger jet. She hears the trunk pop as the driver opens it from the
glove box. Men come and start to load her luggage onto the plane.
The driver gets out and opens the door for Misato. He gestures
for her to get her carry-on bags and board the plane. Misato does as he
wants and shoulders her back-pack and grabs the handle on her carry-on.
As Misato climbs the steps she feels something incredibly wrong
with this situation. 'Of course something is wrong with this situation,'
she chides herself, 'your father is forcing you to leave school near
the end of the year, so you can't spend summer break with your friends,
to live with him in _Antarctica_ of all places! I'll make him pay for
this!'
Once on-board the plane she sees that most of the chairs have
been taken out. Some replaced with tables, other just for more leg room.
She notices that there is no one else in the passenger section of the
plane. 'At least there won't be any kids running up and down the isle.'
Misato plops down in a chair picked at random. It happens to be
very comfortable. She relaxes slightly into the cushion.
A voice comes over the speaker. It says, "Katsuragi-san, we will
be lifting off in six minutes. Would you please place your seat in the
full upright position and fasten your safety-belt. Thank-you, that is
all."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:11.01pm June 11, 1999
T-MINUS 3:1:6:48:59
Misato had been on the plane for over a quarter of a day now.
Her anger and hatred for her father had slowly turned into loneliness.
She thought it would be nice having an entire plane to herself. Was she
ever wrong. She had visited the cockpit for a while. The only other
people she'd seen were the steward who brought her her food and the
cockpit crew. They weren't very good company, to say the least.
Misato was leafing through a pamphlet that supposedly described
what she would be doing in Antarctica. So far, all it did was run in
circles and give her vague descriptions.
Misato was just about to call the steward for her dinner when
the speaker comes to life. "Miss Katsuragi," comes the pilot's voice,
"we are about to begin our descent into Ushuaia. Please take a seat and
put your chair and tray in their full, upright positions, and fasten
your safety belt. Thank you."
Misato puts the pamphlet away, returns her chair and tray to
their upright positions, and fastens her safety belt. She felt glad that
they were finally landing. Maybe she could find something besides
reading to occupy her time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:32.13pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:6:27.47
Misato was tempted to kiss the ground. Instead she chooses to do
a quick cartwheel. She was on some military base or another at the
southern tip of South America. No one that she knew could see her. She
was just glad to be on the ground. A few hours in the air would make
anyone glad to see the ground again.
Unfortunately, for Misato, she was soon ushered onto another
plane. This one was obviously a military plane. Its drab olive color and
the big, white, letters spelling out "USAF" gave it away.
'I wonder why the US is involved in this. I thought this was a
UN operation. Maybe the US lent these to the UN.' Misato wondered. She
was sure that they would explain nothing to her.
She was also sure that her father wasn't here. That allowed her
to resume her anger at her father. Deep in her consciousness Misato was
glad her father hadn't come. Her anger chased out all the fear of what
was going to happen to her.
The men hustled Misato into the plane and promptly shut the
hatch behind her. Inside the plane she found that something else was
different than her last plane flight had been. There were other people
inside the plane this time.
The people were busy storing cargo in the large hold. The cargo
hold and the passenger section had no divider. The sets were the same
green color as the plane's exterior. It looked very uncomfortable to be
on for a very long time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
6:34.25pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:25.35
High above the Southern polar ice cap, a solitary olive plane
stood out in the stark contrast to the blinding white below. Inside the
cargo plane Misato sat in her chair shivering. The plane had little
insulation and no heat source. It wasn't designed with live cargo in
mind. Lucky for her someone thought to give her a parka. It helped with
keeping the chill from eating through to her bones, but some of the cold
managed to gnaw through the park to nip at her flesh and raise her
hairs.
The door to the pilot's cabin opened and the co-pilot stepped
out. She was a dark skinned American wearing a flight jacket and an Air
Force uniform under that. She walked over to Misato and gestured for the
girl to come with her.
Misato warily unbuckled her seat belt and followed the woman.
They walked further back into the cargo hold. The woman raised a hand
for Misato to stop. The woman shouted so her voice could be heard over
the roaring propellers. She speaks surprisingly good Japanese.
"The cover for this mission is to drop medical equipment. Its
currently winter in the Southern hemisphere. That means that there's no
light to see by and its too rough to risk a landing. You'll be in this,"
the woman points at a human-size, white pod resting on the floor, "when
you drop. Don't worry, it has a parachute attached to it. It can
withstand the force of a zero point one megaton blast. It'll be safer
in this thing than in the plane. These," she says, pointing at three
other pods just like the others "are decoys. They do contain equipment
though. Once you touch down," the woman activates a switch and the pod
opens, "don't open your pod right away. If you do you'll probably freeze
to death. The pod has an air tank with two hours of air in it. The team
should find you by then. Once you feel the pod touch down you have to
activate your beacon. To activate the beacon push this button," the
woman points towards a switch on the side of the interior of the pod,
"here. The switch to open the pod from the inside," the woman indicates
a small handle further down the inside of the pod, "is here. The hatch
has a timer on it so you can't open it accidentally while you're still
in the air. Got all that?"
Misato nods.
"Then get in and have a good stay at the bottom of the world."
says the woman.
"Isn't that a little pessimistic?" asks Misato with a grin. "I
prefer to think of it as the top of an upside-down world."
"Okay, okay, just get in the stupid pod!" exclaims the woman
with a grin.
Misato climbs in the pod. The woman shuts the hatch behind her.
As the two halves of the hatch close, the pod is drowned in darkness.
She feels the pod being pushed forward, towards the bay doors.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
6:38.26pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:20.34
Misato sat in the dark pod and began to wonder if anyone would
find her. She had already heard the alarm go off that meant she could
open the hatch, but she didn't know how close she was to the base or if
a recovery crew was on the way.
Misato's fears were put to rest by the pod door flying open.
She covered her eyes as a flashlight was shone in them. She felt herself
being lifted out of the pod. The flashlight was taken out of her face
but it left her momentarily blind. Someone had taken her arm and was
guiding her. Where, She did not know.
Misato's eyes recovered enough so that there wasn't a large
purple-black dot in the middle of her vision, but everything was still
dark. She let herself be led through the harsh winds, hoping that these
people knew where they were going.
If they didn't know where the base was, or somehow got lost
along the way... then they would all die in the cold. She might survive
for a little longer if she were to climb back into the pod, given that
she could find it, and wait until daybreak. She hoped it wouldn't come
to that. She really wanted a warm shower.
Just ahead of Misato a bright light appeared. The group was
moving towards it. 'Probably the base,' thought Misato, 'If they
weren't near a base I wouldn't have been picked up so fast and the
rescue group would have died."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
6:41.31pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:18.29
Misato had been given a quick check over to make sure she wasn't
hurt in the drop. After the doctor left she was given warm cider. It
felt good to have something inside her.
(Author's note: Its a joke. In cider. Inside her. Never mind.
You have to hear the full joke.)
She was sitting on a examining table waiting for the person who
was going to show her around the base. She supposed it would be her
father. After all, he _was_ supposed to be here. Then again she thought
he was going to be at the airport.
'Of course he wasn't at the airport. If it was so dangerous that
they had to drop me in a capsule then they wouldn't have been able to
get a plane off the ground so he could meet me.
'This isn't a normal visit though. I wonder why I'm here.
There's no good reason to have a fourteen year-old at an Antarctic base
in the middle of Winter. Why did he bring me? Is he just trying to get
back at mother for leaving him? I won't let him use me like that. It's
his fault she left. If he wasn't always ignoring her she wouldn't have
left. He brought it on himself. DAMNIT! I _hate_ that man!'
The door to the examination room opened and a woman in about her
early thirties walked in. Misato thought that she looked kind and
motherly. She was wearing a white lab coat with a purple blouse and a
dark blue skirt. Her hair was dark brown and cut short to mid-neck
length.
The woman smiled and was about to begin speaking when Misato
interrupted, "Where is my father?" she demanded. "Why isn't he here?
Whatis he doing?"
"My you're full of questions. First let me introduce myself.
I'm Ikari Yui. I'm the head of..."
"I don't care who you are or what you do or don't do! All I
want to know is where the _FUCK_ my father is!"
"Well. Since you put it that way. Follow me." With that the
woman walked out of the room without looking back to see if Misato was
following her.
Misato slid off the table and followed Yui down a long corridor.
She assumed she had hurt the woman's feelings, but she really didn't
care right now. All she wanted was to find her father and find out what
the hell was going on here. She wondered what was going on here. Why
her father would need to be at the South Pole. It wasn't like he
specialized in fossils or ice. He was a Physicist.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
6:59.39pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:00.21
(Author's Note: That's it! From here on out: Past Tense!)
Misato had been walking for quite a while yet. The woman, Yui,
had said that although the facility looked small on the surface, it
went a ways into the mountain beneath it.
'Like I've ever _seen_ the surface. I landed during a snow
storm!' thought Misato.
They was in front of a seemingly dead end. She walked till she
was in front of the left corner of the end, and placed her hand on a
section of the wall like any other. The "wall" that was blocking their
way slid away, so it must not have been like any other part of the wall.
Sitting at a desk behind the wall, inside a bullet-proof
enclosure, was a man wearing a black suit and black sunglasses, even
though they were inside. He had one hand inside his jacket, which Misato
assumed was on a gun. When he saw Yui he pressed a button on the desk
in front of him, which opened the gate to the side of his enclosure.
Yui led Misato down a corridor, which ended in yet another
seamless door. This one opened upon Yui's approach. On the other side of
the door was a small, square room, with railings a meter off the ground.
Misato, following Yui's lead, walked cautiously into the room.
The door slid shut, and the room was plunged into darkness. Misato
began to get nervous until a light snapped on overhead. Misato half
expected Yui not to be there when the lights came on. She was though.
Standing right where she was when the lights went out.
"Where are we?" Misato's question broke the silence.
"We're in an elevator. We're going down to the main bay. That's
where your father is."
"I didn't hear it start. It doesn't feel like we're moving."
"Oh but we are."
Yui reached into her pocket and withdrew a quarter. With a flick
of her thumb, she sent the quarter spinning... and it stayed there,
idly tumbling. Misato's jaw dropped.
"We _cannot_ be moving that fast! It's impossible! In the time
we've been in here, this thing would have had to have dropped..."
"Quite a ways when you think about it. The main bay is situated
deep underground so that any contamination would be kept to a minimum."
Misato swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat, "W-what
contamination?"
"Well... all will be explained in time."
Misato frowns, "Sounds like a cop out to me."
"Yes, yes it is." confides Yui.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
7:12.15pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:47.45
Yui and Misato had just got out the elevator. The "main bay" was
a lot different from the upper base. Instead of cold, even, steel walls,
there were many metal, paneled corridors followed by ridiculously open
expanses over vast, seemingly bottomless, voids. What made the journey
exciting was the fact that there were few actual guard rails.
"To get all this space," Misato said, once more breaking the
silence, "you would have to have dug incredibly deep into the mountain-
side. It must have taken a long time to build all this."
"Actually," replied Yui, turning around to regard the girl,
"we found this cavern, already dug. We just built inside of it."
"If you didn't dig it, who did?"
"We don't know."
"How did they manage to make a cavern this large and have no one
know about it, until now?"
"This wasn't done recently. This cave is pretty old. There is
a theory about who made it... but you wouldn't believe me."
"I'm a modern, open-minded, youth. Try me."
"The current theory is that it was made by a giant being as his
home in which he could sleep for millions of years, until awakened."
"... You're right. I don't believe you. Tell me, what's the real
theory, or the most likely one."
"That was the most likely one."
"You're pulling my leg."
"Hey, I told you you wouldn't believe me... but, you will. Once
you see..."
"See what?"
Yui stopped, and Misato noticed that they were in front of a
door. The door was an actual door, you could see where to two pieces of
metal came together. Yui took out an I.D. card, and put it into a slot
to the right of the door. The door slid apart loudly. Misato could see
why, the doors were about a foot thick.
As they walked through the doors, that looked like they could
take a direct hit from a tank and not dent, Misato noted that the
corridor they were now in was both higher and wider than the previous
corridor. She would have to ask about that later.
'Ichi, ni, san, sho, yo... it's later!" thought Misato.
"Why the hell is this hallway larger than the one before? If
it's for defense, it would make more sense to have this hallway smaller
than the one before the door. Force the attackers into a bottle-neck
situation."
"Why are you asking me? I'm a scientist, not an Architect!"
"Okay, 'Bones'." Misato said, with a roll of her eyes and a hint
of humorus sarcasm.
"What?" was all the response Yui could come up with.
"Never mind. It's from a really old American show."
"Anyway..." Yui opened a manila folder she had been carring,
"your quarters have already been designated," Yui continued to read out
of the file, not really paying atttention to Misato, or where she was
going, she knew the halls by heart, "they're near the other pilot's, so
if you need anything, ask one of them. Your luggage has already been
placed in your room. Is there anything specific you'd like?" Yui took
the time to finally look up from the report in her hands to notice her
ward was not following behind her.
Yui's head shot back and forth fast enough to give her whiplash.
She realized where she was. In the pilot's testing facility. It took her
but a moment to formulate the information, that had just come rushing to
the forefront of her mind, into one, consicive thought. Yui did a quick
about-face, and walked hurredly down the hallway she had come from.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
7:23.30pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:36.30
Misato had been following the good doctor quietly for a good
while. She had turned her attention inwardly, thinking, yet again, about
why her father had brought her here, when a dot of mellow orange flashed
past her periphial vision. Put against the seemingly endless metalic
grey walls, it stood out like a Goth at a Spice Girls concert.
Misato, being tired of the steel walls and phlorescent lights
that seemed to drain all life from her, stopped, and in a moment of pure
impulse, left her trail position behind Dr. Yui, and proceded down the
side corridor from which she had seen the orange light eminating from.
As Misato got closer to the source of the light, she found that it was
not a light fixture, but a tank filled with an orange liquid.
'Strange fish tank. Maybe that's the cafeteria and they're
making one really large vat of Tang?'
As Misato drew closer she made out three hazy shadows floating
in the orange goo. Her curiosty had now reached an all time high. It
would take the hounds of hell to stop her now. As there were no Hounds
of Hell in this particular Antarctic base, she walked unimmpeeded to the
clear plexiglass front on the tank of "Tang".
Misato's shoes clicked lightly on the metalic floor beneath her
as she progressed in her quest to find out what the hell was in the vat
of orange liquid. Her heart accelerated in her chest, she felt like she
was sneaking past her mother's room, late at night, to go on a date.
Misato had finally reached the the plexipass barrier, holding
the strange liquid at bay. She squinted her eyes in an attemp to clear
her vision as she peered into the murky depths of the fluid. Misato
began to make out the fine details of one of the figures, as it floated
gracefully, still in the liquid.
As Misato watched, one of the figures in the liquid moved. She
had the feeling she was being watched. It disturbed her to no end. She
barely contained the urge to run. If she did she would just end up lost.
In a place the size of this instillation, that would be a very bad
thing.
Misato's anxiety grew as the figure that moved, kicked off the
bottom and jetted close to the plexiglass. Misato's anxiety quickly
transformed into intense curiosity and wonder, as she saw the face of a
young girl. By the looks of her, not much older than Misato herself. As
Misato further examined the girl, she noticed that she was wearing some
sort of skin tight suit. The white suit had a high neck, gloves attached
to the arms, shoes attached to the feet, and numerous, important looking
objects poking out.
The girl's chest was rising and falling steadily inferring that
she was indeed breathing, although Misato couldn't see a breathing
device on her mouth or nose, and she wasn't exhailing bubbles.
'She's breathing the water, err, Tang, uh... stuff?'
The girl didn't look to be in any particular respitory trouble
though, and she didn't appear to have gills. Misato surmised that the
liquid must be breatheable.
The girl in the tank seemed to be studying Misato as much as she
was studying the girl. The girl smilled a toothy smile at Misato. It
wasn't a toothy smile, but one that beamed, "I like you and don't plan
on ripping open your chest and feasting on your organs." At least that's
what it seemed to say to Misato.
A hand on Misato's right shoulder made her jump a good foot in
the air. Misato's left hand quickly clamped on the hand touching her
shoulder, while her right hand clamped over her heart to make sure it
was still there instead of in her throat like it felt. As the hand on
her shoulder felt human, she calmed down some.
"My you're jumpy." Yui stated, wide eyed that such a young girl
could do such an impresive standing, vertical leap.
"_DON'T_ sneak up on me like that!" Misato squealled throught
clenched teeth.
"I _didn't_ sneak up on you," retorted Yui, " I called your name
twice!"
"Oh..."
*Tap* *Tap*
The knock on the glass returned Misato's attention, as well as
Yui's, back to the young girl in the... um... Tang. The girl, seeing
that she had the attention of the two females outside the tank, waved
cheerfully at Yui. Yui frowned and returned the wave, although not in
the same spirit.
The girl in the tank made several hand gestures at Yui, which
Misaot surmised to be a form of sign language, while giggling all the
while.
'That has to be a unique feeling.' tought Misato.
Yui frowned even more, make Misato worry she was about to slip
into "Evil Mad Scientist Mode (c)" and torture the poor girl. Instead
she simply made similar hand getstures, albiet more violently, to the
girl. In return the girl made a hand gesture that Misato clearly
recognized, the universal sign for "fuck you".
"Hmph, come on Misato, or we'll be late. Oh, and please don't
wander off anymore."
"Who was that girl? What was she swiming in? How could she
breathe liquid? Where are we going?"
"That girl is a annoying brat. She was swiming in the same thing
that you'll be in in a little while. The liquid is oxygenated so you can
breathe it. Now hurry up!"
"Yet another cop-out?" Misato said sarcastically, rolling her
eyes to add effect.
"Get used to it."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
7:32.37pm June 11, 2000
T-MINUS 3:1:5:28.23
"... And another ting! Why all this fucking secrecy, huh?!"
Misato had been pestering Yui for the past three minutes since they left
the tank of... um... Tang. Needless to say, Yui was begining to hate the
child she was draggin along by the arm.
"And leggo my arm! I can walk! I said, 'Leggo'!"
Yui wearily abliged the young girl.
"And where are we going? What the fuck is up with all these
ridiculusly thick doors in this place? I'm getting sick of them! Why the
hell is it so dark in here? Why did you stop? What's going on here?!
Why is the door closing? Why won't you just..." Misato stopped and
suddenly began doing her best impression of a deer caught in headlights.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *PANT*
*PANT*," Misato oand to catch her breath after such a vocal
demonstration of her surprise, "What the _FUCK_ is that?!" yelled
Misato, gesturing wildly at the large, olive colored, grotesque head in
front of her.
"That," Yui said with smirk, even though her ears were still
ringing from the scream Misato had released, "is a Lillin. It's why you
were brought here. It's why that... _girl_... was in the liquid you saw
earlier. It's the reason most of this underground base was built."
"What does that have to do with me?" quirried Misato, in a very
small voice.
"You," yui began, enjoying this very much, even though she knew
she shouldn't, "are going to pilot that."
END PART I
------------------------------------------------------------------------
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! CLIFFHANGER!!! I'm so evil. Heh.
Random Reader #1: "Aren't you fogerting something?"
Uhhh... I don't think so.
RR #1: "You know, your end omake where you randomly off members of the
cast."
Ooohhh! I didn't do that with my last two fics though.
RR #2: "That's because they were spamfics. They were nothing but
stand-alone omakes!"
Damn, I hate it when others are right, unless they agree with
me.
RR #1: "Hey you've gotten positive feed back from the few that read your
other work and bothered to reply. All four of them."
Hey that's right! I've gotta appease my fanbase!
Chibi-Katarn: "Those fools! If everyone had replyied, the ones that are
disgusted might have changed your thoughts on the matter!"
MWEHEHEHEHEHEH!
Chibi-K: "Hey! normally you laugh, 'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!', why the change?"
I dunno, just felt like a "MWEHEHEHEHEH!" moment I guess. Hey,
where'd you come from anyway?
Chibi-K: "Oh! I'm... um... I'm your repressed childhood! Yeah, that's
it!"
No you're not. I don't supress my inner child. Why do you think
I wrote, "Preach Gendo, PREACH!", huh? Besides, Toastmasters stopped me
from saying, "Um".
Chibi-K: "Oh, yeah. I forgot. While we're at this, what gave you the
impulse to continue Al-I-Bus', "A New World For Shinji & Asuka" series?"
Oh, that? That was his doing.
Little-Jonny: "Damn right!"
Chibi-K: "Why is he in a confession booth?"
You'd have to hear the joke.
Chibi-K: "HEY! He just walked out with a wad of cash!"
Heh, he sold the garage.
Chibi-K: "..."
Hey! You know I don't abide ...ing!
Chibi-K: "Sorry, I didn't mean to ..., is there any way I can make it up
to you?"
Yes. Do the "Omake Dance (patent pending)" to take us into the
omake.
Chibi-K: "What's it going to be about this time?"
Little-J: "Showers! I want a shower scene!"
Chibi-K: "How do you get rid of him?"
I find thinking of someone stomping on a bunch of cute little
kitten's heads and then tossing them in a sack, beating them with a
steel bat, wieghting them and tossing them in a lake works best.
Chibi-K: "Hey! It worked! "
Now do the "Omake Dance". This has drug on far too long.
Chibi-K: "What are you going to do for this omake?"
I see... brownies... yes. Brownies for Shinji. Speacial
brownies. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Chibi-K: "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-ack *cough*" (Does the "Omake Dance".
Accidentally sets the curtains on fire.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: The Kitchen of the Katsuragi Residence. Misato is wearing an
apron and oven mits along with her normal, next to nothing, houseware.
She is pulling a large baking tin of brownies out of the oven. Strewn
about the counter are the tools and inredients she used in the
preparation of the delectable treats; a mixing bowl and a hand mixer,
already licked clean, flour, sugar, coco, milk, butter, a half empty bag
of almonds, a half empty bottle of Rum, although the recipie only
called for a tablespoon, and a large zip-lock baggie that has been
completely emptied of all of its contents.
Misato: Mmmmm, good thing Asuka and Shin-chan are at NERV. Hate for them
to get there hands on _these_ treats.
(Misato laughs quietly at her own joke and places the tin on the
counter to cool.)
Misato: (Notices the half full bottle of Rum. She suddenly gains
Pre-cognitive abilities and sees the bottle as empty) ...
Rum: *GULP*
Misato: This is a sign. I must fulfill this prophecy. It is my destiny.
(Misato takes the soon-to-be-empty bottle of gin and makes for
her room while the brownies.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Shinji is walking home from NERV headquarters alone thinking to
himself.
Shinji: (Thinking) Man, I didn't know hiccuping in LCL had such adverse
side effects. Man that got ugly fast. God I hope Ayanami's all right.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Katsuragi residence. Shinji has just entered through the front
door.
Shinji: Tadaima [I'm home]. Misato-san?
(Shinji meanders to his gaurdian's room and cracks the door. He
sees her passed out on her bed with a fresh empty bottle of Rum in her
arms.)
Shinji: (quiety to himself) Sin m fubar [Situation is Normal. Misato's
Fucked Up Beond All Recognition].
(Shinji shuts the door to "Misato's Den", as he thinks of it,
and proceeds to the kitchen to see if there's anything to eat. When he
reaches the kitchen, he is flabbergasted when he sees the mess left for
him by the Major.)
Shinji: Damn. Oh well, I'll get this stuff later.
(Shinji notices the brownies in the tin.)
Shinji: Misato cooked these? Impossible! They smell good!
(An idea forms in Shinji's head.)
Shinji: Maybe Ayanami would like some! I'll take some to Asuka over at
Hikari's too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Shinji is outside Ayanami's apartment. As always, there is
construction going on close by.
(Shinji doesn't bother to knock, altough he does anounce his
presence.)
Shinji: Ayanami? I'm coming in.
(Shinji brushes past all the junk mail overflowing in the
entrance way and removes his shoes.)
Ayanami: Ikari-kun.
(Chibi-K: Oooohh, a statement, not a question! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Whap*)
(Little-J: Quiet! Now's the part where they get it on!)
Shinji: Ojamashimasu [May I come in]?
Ayanami: ...
(Chibi-K: Hey! Jonathan! She ...ed! Why don't you make Shinji go S&M on
her? ^_-)
(Little-J: For once I agree with him. -_^)
(*WHAP* *WHAP*, *THUD* *THUD*)
(Author's Note: Like two little gnats in my ears.)
Shinji: Are you feeling any better?
Ayanami: Hai [yes]. (Thinking) He reminds me of the Commander.
Shinji: I brought you some brownies.
(Rei takes the foil rapped brownies from Shinji's hands, staring
at them strangely.)
Ayanami: Domo arigato [formal thanks]. (Thinking) Does he want something
from me?
Shinji: Well, I've got to go. Goodbye, Ayanami-san.
Ayanami: Goodbye, Ikari-kun.
(Shinji makes for the door. A little while later the sound of
the door squealing open and grinding shut on it's hinges is heard.)
Ayanami: ...
(Rei opens one of the foil packages and takes a bite.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little-J: What the hell is going on?! Nothing is happening!! That was a
great chance for some really raunchy deflowering!
Chibi-K: I agree with him... except for the raunchy deflowering part.
It doesn't seem to be very funny. Have you lost your "Omake Touch(c)"?
No. Haven't you ever heard of plot?
Chibi-K: Omakes don't have plots.
Little-J: Neither do Lemons.
So I'm breaking new ground in Omakes, so what? And good Lemons
_do_ have a plot. Just look at "A New World...", it has a plot.
Chibi-K: Oh, you mean where you make Shinji's life a living hell by
taking Asuka and *WHAP* *WHAP*
DON'T TELL!! THE OMAKE HAS A PLOT AND IT WILL BE FUNNY! BE
PATIENT!
Little-J: If you put a little action in I'll be quiet for the rest of
the omake.
Fine.
Chibi-K: You know, we need some thing to call you by. How about "Big-K"?
Can't. K-Mart'll sue the shit outta me.
Chibi-K: Well, what about "Big-Jon"?
Noooo.
Chibi-K: Why not?
o/ Kinda wide at the shoulders and narrow at the hips, ev'ry one
at the mine knew, you don't give no lip to Big Jon. o/
That's why.
Chibi-K: Okay, so we'll just brainstorm.
Little-J: Don't forget about the sex.
Okay! I _said_ alright! Don't bug me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Shinji is outside the Horaki residence. Shinji is just outside
the doorway, while Hikari is in the doorway talking to Shinji.
Shinji: I brought some brownies.
Hikari: Thank you Ikari-kun. Come in please.
Shinji: Umm. Okay. (Thinking) Asuka won't let me hear the end of this.
(Shinji enters the Horaki residence and removes his shoes.)
Shinji: Which way is your kitchen?
Hikari: Go straight through the dining room. I'm going to go get Asuka
out of my room.
Shinji: Thank you. (Thinking) Must get away from Asuka! *MUST* get away
from Asuka.
(Unfortunately for Shinji, the kitchen didn't lead to the back
door.)
Shinji: (Thinking) I'm dead. I'm sooo dead. No. Worse. I'm alive. I'm
alive and Asuka's going to slowly dismember me.
(Asuka sticks her head in through the door.)
Asuka: Hey Shinji.
Shinji: Um... heh heh... brownie?
Asuka: Sure.
Shinji: Where's Hikari (Thinking) Hikari will keep Asuka from quartering
me long enough to go.
Asuka: She had to take a call from the teacher about something or other.
(Thinking) She can't save you Third Children.
(Asuka takes a bite from her brownie)
-- 3 minutes later
(Little-J: Where's the sex?)
(Author's Note: Quiet!)
Asuka: Hey Shinji, these brownies are pretty good. Where'd you get the
recipe?
Shinji: I didn't make them. Misato did.
Asuka: That's impossible.
Shinji: Why?
Asuka: Their edible.
Shinji/Asuka: Hahahahahahaha!
Asuka/Shinji: HAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!
(Chibi-K: They're high.)
(Hikari chooses this time to walk in.)
Hikari: What's so funny.
Shinji: Ummmm...
Askua: Uhhhh...
(Little-J: Threesome?! Please say yes!)
(Author's Note: I _said_ quiet!)
Shinji: (Starting to laugh again) I can't remember! HAHAHAHAHA!
Asuka: (Joining in the laughter) Niether can I! HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHA!
(Chibi-K: They are sooo high.)
Hikari: *Blink*... *Blink* *Blink*
Shinji: (With tears in his eyes) Brownie?
--2 minutes later
Shinji: You know... if there was no money, then no one would be poor!
Asuka: You know... you're right!
Hikari: Yeah maybe you should be the Prime Minister.
Asuka: All hail Prime Minister Shinji.
(Yet more pointless luaghter followed.)
--4 minutes later
Shinji: I wonder what happened to Ayanami?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Gendo's office.
Gendo: Rei!
(Little-J: Come on!)
(Author's Note: Shut _up_ already!)
Rei: WEEEEEEEEEEEE
Gendo: (In an authoritive voice) Stop this at once Rei.
Rei: No! Wanna _SPIIIN_!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(Rei continued to hold onto the Commander's arms as she swung
them both arond in circles in the Commander's office.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Horaki residence.
Asuka: Maybe she's having sex with your father!
Hikari: ASUKA!
Asuka: Yeah! I bet she's giving him head *right* *now*!
Shinji: (Holds back a laugh) *Snicker*
Shinji: (Fails miserably) HAHAHAHAA!!
Hikari: (Giggling like a school girl... oh... wait) That's not funny.
Asuka: (Wiping the tears forming in her eyes) You're right!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: The day after. Shinji's room. Both The Third and Second Children
are under the covers. Neither appear to be wearing clothes.
Shinji: (Waking up) Mmmm...
Asuka: (Waking up) *YAWN*
(Shinji and Asuk'a open their eyes at the same time. Their eyes
meet.)
Shinji: ...
Asuka: ...
Shinji/Asuka: (Deep breath!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
(They both shoot to opposite sides of the bed, panting hard.)
Shinji: ...
Asuka: ...
(Author's Note: Weed is better than alcohol because, although it impairs
the short term memory, it leaves the long term memory in tact. It was
also proved healthier than either tabacco or alcohol in a supressed
World Health Orginization study.)
Shinji: What happened here?
Asuka: Um... I remember brownies... then feeding goats at the zoo...
then...
Shinji: (Lifts the covers a crack and looks down at his crotch) AAAAAAA-
AAAAAAHHHH!
Asuka: (Without thinking, looks under the covers to see what caused
Shinji to scream) WHAT?! What is it?!
Shinji: It's deformed!! How many times _did_ we do it?!
Asuka: (Counting) I count at least seventeen times. I'm not sure though.
It could be more.
Shinji: Good _GOD_ woman!
Asuka: Hey! You were involed too, you know!
(Asuka's facial experssion changes suddenly.)
Shinji: (Noticing Asuka's change of expression) What?
Asuka: (With a sly grin) Eighteen is luckier...
Shinji: (No longer thinking with his big head) I would hate to be
unlucky.
(Little-J: Hurray for the little guy!)
(Author's Note: God _DAMN IT_ BE _QUIET_! *WHAP*)
Asuka: Wait. Damnit!
Shinji: What?
Asuka: We have synch test in two hours!
Shinji: Damn! Couldn't we get Rei to hiccup again?
Asuka: I've got a better idea.
Shinji: What?
Asuka: We give Dr. Akagi and the Commander some brownies.
Shinji: But Misato took the last of the bwornies into her room last
night!
Asuka: She couldn't have eaten all those! She probably put them in her
liquor cabinet.
Shinji: ... Why does she need a liquor cabinet when seventy percent of
the refrigerator is alcohol?
Asuka: For when she's too drunk to make it that far.
Shinji: What if it's locked?
Asuka: Don't worry, she doesn't ock it, otherwise she wouldn't be able
to open it when she's drunk.
Shinji: ... How do you know that?
Asuka: Don't ask questions, just go with it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: Central Dogma. Eva cage 6. All the normal staff are there. Shinji
and Asuka enter.
Ritsuko: Right on time. If you'd just hop into the test plugs, we can
get started.
(Shinji looked around and noticed that Rei was absent.)
Shinji: Where's Ayanami?
Ritsuko: She's currently undergoing Psychiatric evaluation.
Shinji: Why?
Ritsuko: Last night she painted the town red.
Asuka: I know Wondergirl is a little on the hermit side, but just
because she decided to get a social life doesn't mean she's crazy.
Ritsuko: No, you don't understand. She _literally_ painted the town red.
She hijacked a fire truck, filled it with the paint we used for Unit-02,
and painted twelve square blocks red.
Shinji: ...
Asuka: ...
Ritsuko: If there's no other questions, please get proceed to the test
plugs.
Shinji: Sure.
Asuka: Oh, I almost forgot! Have a brownie.
--3 minutes later
Ritsuko: *Snicker*
Fuyutski: ???
Ritsuko: *Snicker* *Snicker*
Fuyutski: Is something wrong, doctor?
(Ritsuko points at the screen before breaking into hysterical
laughter and falling out her screen.)
Maya: Sempai?!
(Maya rushes over to Ritsuko's terminal and looks at the screen
to find out what could possibly affect her sempai like this.)
Maya: @_@
Fuyutski: What does it say?
Maya: "Rectal Monitor".
All: *_*(;)
Fuyutski: (Into a microphone) Commander, there is a slight situation in
Cage 6.
Gendo: (Decending on a lift) What is it Fuyutski-sensei?
Fuyutski: (Points towards Ritsuko rolling on the floor laughing)
Gendo: I see.
(Gendo makes his way over to the good doctor's terminal)
Gendo: *Snicker*... *Snicker* *Snicker*
Maya: Commander?
Gendo: (Breaking into hysterical laughter) It says, "Rectal Monitor"!!!
All: @_@(;)
Fuyutski: We should cancel this test. Don't you agree Major? Major?
Misato: o/ I am the very model of a modern Major General... o/
(Hysterical laughter follows.)
Fuyutski: *Blink* Am I the only sane commanding officer here?
Misato/Gendo/Ritsuko: Yep!
(Yet even more hysterical laughter.)
Ritsuko: Here! Have a brownie!
Asuka: (Looks at Shinji's image in her plug) ... ^_^
Shinji: (Looks at Asuka's image in his plug) ... ^_^
Asuka/Shinji: BREW-HAHAAAAH!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes:
Happy?
Chibji-K: Yep. It did turn out kinda funny. That mental image of Gendo
smiling though... I'm not going to be able to sleep for weeks!
Little-J: You promised me sex!
It happened. It was off screen though.
Little-J: That doesn't count!
You bugged me too much. You said you'd be quiet and you weren't.
Little-J: And I'll keep on bugging you until I get my Lemon scene!
Chibi-K: Little-J no ecchi! Dead kittens! Dead kittens! Dead kittens!
Little-J: Nooooooooo! I'm melting! I'm meeeeelting!
No, you're just shrinking. Anyway... I found out where Chibi-K
came from.
Chibi-K: Yep.
He's a product of my deranged mind, caused by me repeating the
"Rocket" joke from "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" one too many
times, while reading Stike Fiss' "Seven Knights" series. He was made
real by my double from an alternate Universe and was granted mystical
powers, such as the "Omake Dance (patent pending)", to guide me through
the world of fanfic writing... and to kill off any sucky characters.
Chibi-K: Yep!
I will call him... Chibi-K! MWAHAHAHAAA!
Chibi-K: That was one long omake. Maybe you should post it as a spamfic?
Why not?
Now, for the actual notes. I refer to this fic a "Monkey #1".
It's been on my back for a while now. "Monkey #2" is my other fic, "A
New World For Shinji & Asuka part7", that I was given permission to
write by Al-I-Bus. They are both series, and both take an effort to
pull together. To get organized, I'm going to focus on the fic that
gets the best response.
Little-J: That'll be ANW. Everyone likes Lemons, and there haven't been
any real ones since Al-I-Bus stopped writing. 10 O'clock was to caught
up in Ritsuko.
What about Jim Lazar's "Garden of Eva"?
Little-J: Has been a while since any real Lemon, and even then, it's a
spoof series.
Chibi-K: So you don't like it.
Little-J: I never said that! I like all Heterosexual sex.
And all lesbian sex too.
Chibi-K: What about bondage?
Little-J: You're right. I hate heavy bondage. A pair of handcuffs, yes.
A little rope, yes. Full bondage, no way.
Chibi-K: You like tentacle Hentai though.
Little-J: Uhhh... We're off on a tangent. Back to the notes!
Chibi-K: Coward.
Anyway... I'm setting the starting point at three. If neither
fic goes above that two weeks after I post it to evaFiction, Asuka's
Notebook, Everything Anime, etc., then I'll go ahead with my other
series I need to get started, "Neon Genesis Evangelion: Aftermath".
Chibi-K: To add to that, MST's are worth two votes, and C&C's are worth
3. The counting begins after I post it to the web pages, not to the
FFML. C&C's count for more than MST's because they help improve the
writing skills of Jonathan. If you were to re-send the the MST or C&C
after the web posting, it would count, but not before.
Little-J: Isn't "Aftermath" the fic with more Lesbians than a Chris
Davies fic?
Well... yeah, actually. Although all the sex is off screen.
Chibi-K: Anyway, if the limit on either isn't met and "Aftermath" is
started, then three chapters of it will be written before any other
project is started or resumed. After the initial two week period is up,
the nuber of required votes goes up by one.
Although I won't concentrate on either series if the votes are
not met, I will keep dabbling with them for a while.
Little-J: Screw that! I want "Aftermath"! Bring on the Lezbo sex!
Chibi-K: Can I?
Not too much. I have to write the Ritsuko-Gendo scene in ANW
next.
Chibi-K: Okay. I won't hurt him... much.
Little-J: Take your best shot!
Chibi-K: Kamaiya-mini!! *SMASH* *CRUNCH*
Little-J: Ow... x_x
Chibi-K: Hey, we still don't know what to call you!
I promise to have it figured out by the time I'm finished with
ANW.
Chibi-K: Okay.
Now, take us out of here!
Chibi-K: (Does the "Hampster Dance" and they dissapear in a flash of
light)
_____________________________________________
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