Some minor (very minor) spoilers for later episodes of the series in this
commentary...
At 06:59 PM 5/23/00 EDT, UkyouKwnji@aol.com wrote:
Sometimes, the old ways are better.
...or so those forced to resort to them so often proclaim.
Come onnn... damn, but these modem connections here at Ohtori can be so
*slow* sometimes...
There was no money left to spend on DSL lines after blowing the entire
construction budget on the architecture. But, damn, does it look pretty. :)
Just got to thinking how Akio promises to name a comet after his fiancee,
but
after the Black Rose, she seems to disappear.
Actually, Kanae reappears twice in the series: once in episode 30
(accompanied by her mother, who lectures Akio on not spending enough time
with her), and again in episode 32 (where she appears listless and hollow
as Akio feeds her slices of apple).
So I decided to let Akio keep
his promise.
In my unreleased and lengthy post-series fic, "Jaquemart", I have him do
the same. Seems an obvious idea. However, there's a canonical fact that
rather gets in the way of it in the context of this story (which, I
presume, is meant to be plugged into the series)... from Episode 34
(dialogue snipped from the English scripts available at
http://www.duellists.tj):
Akio I just found a comet.
Akio A new star that no one knows about yet.
Akio But I won't tell anybody...
Akio ...or give it a name. Strange, isn't it?
Akio I feel like when I discover a new star I make it mine.
Akio But a star is a star. It belongs to nobody.
Akio It belongs to nobody.
Perhaps Akio waited until someone else found his comet, and then stuck
Kanae's name on it? :)
It's not a bad metaphor; a brilliant light from a distance, but
nothing but ice and filth up close.
I do like this line very much; you might want to work it into the story
somehow.
This is a nice little "behind the scenes" story, Ukyou, but I think you
might want to rewrite bits of it to deal with canonical facts, such as
Kanae's reappearance in 30 and 32, and Akio's decision not to name or
report the comet he finds in episode 34.
I think you told me on IRC a few weeks ago that you'd seen the entire
series... without getting into spoilers, this could be fairly easily
rewritten to take place after (or, if you prefer, shortly before) the
series ends. Kanae never does appear again after episode 32...
Good work.
Ciao,
-Alan Harnum