Lo Shan ran her way through the foreign streets quickly, weaving in
and out of streets and side-alleys. The foreign ideas of street names
didn't make much sense to her, and it made a smaller amount of sense
while
She probably couldn't read them, either.
"Lotion", sheesh...
I oughta make a list of all bathroom products, just in case I need
Chinese Amazon names...
Lo Shan looked up in decisive paranoia as a small bird chirped in a
nearby tree. She calmed herself, there was no need to fear a small bird.
In fact, simply having the bird THERE made her feel safe.
Safe beyond measure.
Now this would imply she's *sure* there's no danger nearby, as in within
hundreds of meters.
She smiled up at the bird and continued her walk through the Nerima
streets, hunting for what looked like the commercial district. She
couldn't be far, she thought. The residences all around her were
protected
by large walls. A rather ingenious idea, she would have to suggest it to
the council when she was able to return to the village safely.
Suddenly, she heard a frantic chirping. Spinning around, she was able
to catch a glimpse of the small bird in the tree flying away at it's
highest speed.
Lo Shan could feel it in the pit of her stomach. A sudden weight of
gloom hanging over her like a two ton anvil.
would't 'weight of doom' be better?
"Oh, get off it, Ranma," Akane said. "They ARE NOT!"
"I tell ya, Akane... They are. They HAFTA be," Ranma shot back,
obviously convinced. "I mean, Nabiki an' me have explained it to him
before, but he went nutzo."
Now, this is a good way to introduce the standard cast.
"Look, he's thick headed, sure. Kodachi's a little out there too, but
escaped mental patients? You've GOT to be joking."
I agree with Akane. If Kodachi and Tatewake were such,
what about Asuka, Asuza Shiratori, Ukyo, Tsubasa, Ryoga,
maybe Soun and Genma, the octopus ball guy, that guy who
didn't want to take his medicine, etc...
Actually, Kodachi and Tatewaki are pretty normal, all in
all. ^.^
Somewhere in the distance, a bird crowed, and Ranma craned his neck to
see. He barely had time to see the dark shape fly up into the air before
the sun blotted out it's existence.
He could've swore--
could've sworn
Suddenly, he saw it. At first, it appeared as though it had been the
dark shape he had seen only moments earlier, but upon closer
examination,
he realized this shape was a lot smaller, and a lot more bloody.
a lot bloodier, grammatically, I think, but it doesn't look good,
so we'll take your version instead. ^^
Akane reached the shape first. "Oh my God, Ranma. She's hurt badly!"
Ranma:"Oh? I thought she'd just scraped her knees, or sumthin'."
or,
"She's been killed, and one thing's certain"
"huh?"
"Someone's responsible for this."
Ed Wood-ism.
The girl opened an eye and looked at her two saviors with a
glazed-over look.
"Khu... Lon..." she managed to mutter before losing consciousness.
Ranma stood up. "Khu Lon? Cologne? Was she--"
I doubt Ranma would've heard, or mentioned the correct spelling.
^^;
"I think she's an Amazon, Ranma," Akane said, motioning towards her
clothing. It resembled what Shampoo regularly wore, except darker, and
stained with blood and ripped nearly to shreds.
"Move over," he said, then started to lift her.
"Ranma! She might have broken bones!"
Ranma shook his head. "No. She doesn't. You'd rather leave her here
and let her bleed to death? Cologne can help, come on!"
Ranma just knows this? Okay, I'll buy this... for now.
I suggest making a scene where Ranma explains how he knows this.
Ranma took off with Akane in tow.
Akane:"Ow! Hey! Stop pulling! W-what are you doing with that hoOK!"
Ranma towing Akane...
****
Unbeknownst to the two teenagers, high above them, a bird flew in
distinct circles. Had they not appeared, the bird could have finished
the
job with flourishing enthusiasm.
Is this the same little bird as in the beginning?
It would wait until she was alone, and then rip her throat out.
It's gonna have to wait for a LOONG time.
BTW, considering the ease with what Herb later dispatched
these things, Cologne shouldn't have much of a problem. She can
manage a nifty Ki-blast herself, as shortly demonstrated in the
'Love Pill' storyline.
She had taken it easy since the wedding, as per her Great-Grandmothers
wish. Part of her punishment for employing such a... dishonorable method
of trying to win Ranma. Of course, she hadn't expected her
Great-Grandmother ordering her to be Mousse's servant for nearly
twenty-four hours.
Heh.
But now was the first day after her week-long punishment. The first
day she could go back and spread her affections on Ranma once again.
Besides, since Ukyou and Akane had no restriction against seeing him,
she
may have lost a beneficial edge on the fiancee competition.
Bah! Since Ryugenzawa, the others haven't had a chance, anyway.
Ranma walked forward and lay the woman on the counter. "She said your
name when we found her."
laid
But it was easy to recognize her. She shared most of her childhood
with this girl. It was nearly impossible for her to even consider
something like this happening...
...to her best friend.
Oo
Cologne took out a small wooden bowl and put some herbs and water into
it. She looked towards Akane and spoke, "Make yourself useful child,
strip
off her clothing and place pressure upon the biggest wounds. She has
already lost a great deal of blood. You as well, Ranma."
Ranma:"Nah, the blood's all hers."
Faulty pointer.
"If you call the hospital, chances are she'll be deported before we
can find out what happened to her. No, she shall stay here for the time
being."
Deported? In that shape? Not likely.
"Works quickly? Like cement?" Ranma asked.
Cement? Quickly? As in, will take few hours?
Kinda bad analogy, not that Ranma knows any better ^.^;
"Do not worry about that," Cologne exclaimed. "Mousse, you know what
to do."
Mousse nodded and gripped an artery at her neck and temple, stopping
the flow of blood to the brain for a moment. She lost consciousness
immediately.
Too dangerous in that situation! What if she doesn't wake up after
that.
Change to 'shiatsu sleep point' or something. They're canon, anyway.
Sounds better.
Or even better, some sort of paralysis point, in such a manner that
she stays awake, but can't move.
Ranma examined it for a few seconds before he recognized it. It was a
black, elongated talon. Not unlike what the members of the Phoenix tribe
had. "A talon?" he asked.
Akane gasped. "The Phoenix did this?"
The Phoenix implies a single person, and since Saffy's still an
infant...
Then again, you could be referring to the *big* Phoenix chick...
Cologne sighed. "It is hard to say," she said. "The Phoenix are
amazing fighters, but do not kill unless it suits them. Revenge isn't a
Actually, others than Kiima, Korma, Masala and Saffron are pushovers.
Currently the three first mentioned are the best fighters they have.
motivation for them, and we only hear from them whenever they cause
trouble with Jusendo. We usually ignore them."
Cologne wasn't sure they existed, before Plum arrived.
Besides, the underground rivers rearranged themself, and now Mt. Phoenix
has an unlimited supply of Jusendo water.
Not that Cologne&the gang knows this, of course.
Ranma jabbed the talon up in the air. "You know any BIRDS with claws
this big?"
Ryugenzawa,
The Phoenix Chick.
"No birds, but--" Cologne narrowed her eyes. "We shall wait."
Tengu?
"Wait?"
Cologne nodded. "Later," she said. "Go home for now. I shall contact
you when you are needed."
Ranma looked at the blood-soaked counter and nodded. "Yeah, let us
know," he said.
Akane didn't say another word, and just followed Ranma out of the
restaurant.
say anything
'another word' sounds like she is forcibly keeping herself from saying
anything.
oh, and drop the ','
Don't need it with 'and'
****
Herb ran through the woods, weaving in and out of trees, as fast as he
could. He had to split up from Lime and Mint in order to do things the
right way-- after all, he was the one they were after.
How noble of him. ^^;
The Joketsuzoku women should already be in Japan by now, warning
Cologne of the coming danger... if they hadn't gotten to her first.
women, as in 'multiple'?
Finally, Herb's run came to an abrupt stop. He had come to a dead end
in his run, and there were still trees all around. The rock face in
front
of him was far too slippery and steep for him to climb. If he had been
stronger, he may have been able to jump it, or even use his ki to create
handholds.
Or even fly down, if in full power.
Herb stayed still long enough for Mint to apply the bandages and then
got up. "Come on," he said, walking along. "We can rest when we get
there.
They'll send another one any time now."
So, do 'they' see through these things eyes, or just know when one dies?
If latter, wouldn't it make sense to capture the thing, instead of killing
it?
Did Lotion go through the ordeal of having to kill multiple ones of these
things, too?
If not, it doesn't speak too highly of her skills, or Shamps's for that
matter, in this company.
Author's Notes:
Hello, people of the FFML! As you can tell, I'm a relative newcomer,
but I've been reading fics for quite some time. It just wasn't until now
that I decided I wanted to WRITE them. :)
It's infectuous, isn't it?<grin>
Anyways, "Nice concept, let's see where you go with this" etc...
Nice writing, too. Better than mine, anyways.
The size was just about right, too.
Longer's always better, though...
Of course, it's better to have a 30k chapter once a week than
a 100k chapter once a month, IMO.
Anyway, this is the prologue of a fic idea I've had for quite some
time, but never did anything about it until now. It's actually going to
be
quite long, but hopefully it'll be well received.
Grr...
There's only so much ideas to use...
Also, pre-readers would be a nice addition.
Prereader? Hmm...
Okay.
"Tomorrow sees undone what happens not today.
Indecision brings delays,
days lost lamenting lost days"
Tel:050-3063241
Group:Xes
http://www.ratol.fi/~eruuska/
Martial arts.
Enlightenment.