Well, this technically qualifies as a story, soooo... I'm going to critique
it.
I was staying at a hotel for the weekend, when three asian
teenagers came out of a door went across the hall and into
another door. I asked and was told both rooms were empty at
the time mentioned.
Who did you ask, and what did you ask about? What hotel was it, and where
was it at?
One teenager had red hair loose about to her shoulder
blades. Quite fit physically( as were the other two) she was
arguing with the others about some movie that she wanted to
see. She asked the girl to come and see it with her. She
called her Connie
Connie is an American name. Did they have an accent, or did it sound like
good ol' American English? The girl with the red hair... was it natural, or
was it dyed? It's highly uncommon for an asian girl with red hair, as we all
know. And what about the eyes? Were they blue?
The middle girl had black hair, so black it was almost blue.
Hmm. That would either be a trick of lighting, or a twinge of hair coloring.
That, or your mind was seeing and hearing what you 'wanted' to hear.
She didn't want to see the movie but wanted the boy to go to
another movie with her. when he refused she called him
idiot, then said something like he was like her perverted
old grandfather.
The boy turned to the Red head and asked if dear ko ( some
sound I couldn't here before the ko sound) wanted to see the
first movie with him.
I doubt the name ended in ko. Again, you didn't hear it clearly and the mind
tends to 'assume' certain parts.
The red head and the boy (who had a pig tail and black hair)
agreed to see the movie. Connie agreed to go also but
mumbled something, just as they went through the other door.
The boy with the pigtail... what was he wearing? Was it the trademarked red
chinese shirt? What about the other two girls? And what was 'Connie's
haircut?
I asked and there was no anime or science fiction convention
in town then either. I suppose it was probable coincidence
but it had me standing there staring for a minute after they
left.
I would have gone up and asked what their names were, and then asked them if
they'd ever heard of Ranma 1/2. In either regard, the similarities would be
uncanny.
There were minor punctuation and spelling errors, and you might want to work
on your capitalization as well. I doubt you'll be reposting this anytime
though... :)
-Troy