--
I finally got this thing whipped into something resembling a
chapter. I don't have a clue when OTM! 2 will be ready, though.
Gomen.
$Crap. I really liked this, and want to see more.
Gomen, gomen. However, I'm close to being lynched on a couple of ongoing
series. I've got some of OTM! 2 written, but not nearly enough for a chapter.
Enjoy...
$Gladly. ^_^
^_^
Chapter 1 - Nyanniichuan Muyou! (No Need for Spring of Drowned
Girl!)
$Nice title.
Ah, yes. I should've said something about this in the credits. Please thank
Vince Seifert for the title.
Hakubi Washuu, the self-proclaimed Number One Genius Scientist of
the Universe, glanced at the file heading and winced. "All-Purpose
Cultural Day Planner, Universal Edition... Bleah."
$Hah! Hehhehheh. Cute.
I had the distinct feeling that someone had used the day-planner idea before
with Washuu, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember who or where, and
there's too much Tenchi fanfic to go rereading everything. Oh, well. No one
complained about it, so until they do, I'll just let it ride.
Washuu swam with a herd of dolphins, but even that didn't seem to
lift her mood.
$I'm sure there's something pretty damned funny there, but it
alludes me
for now.
Oh, it was just that she would even have access to a pod of dolphins (herd
will be revised out :) via her lab that was the joke. Also, I hear swimming
with dolphins is one of those rare experiences in life, so it should've lifted
her mood but didn't.
"ARGH!!!" She threw her arms into the air, quickly slid off the
cushion, making it bounce in midair, and walked towards the door.
"When all else fails, find some people! Interact! ... Brother, I'm
really desperate..."
$Been there, done that.
Yup. No problems relating to that for most of us.
Early that morning, Aeka and Ryouko had made some kind of screwy bet
with Mihoshi and Sasami (he hadn't actually been present for it),
and the Pirate/Princess duo had promptly lost. The worst part was
that the losers had forgotten to set the terms of the bet *before*
they'd lost.
$Heh, first rule of betting.
:)
Sasami and Mihoshi emerged from the kitchen with glowing smiles, and
Aeka and Ryouko started sweating many, very large drops. They
huddled uncharacteristically close together for comfort, temporarily
forgetting their rivalry.
$What was the bet, anyway?
Honestly? I don't have a clue. ^_^
"THEN, you two will take us to Chez Paul for dinner--"
"FRENCH?!?!" Aeka screamed. Ryouko wasn't listening; she was still
$I take it she doesn't like french food?
Who knows? I think she was objecting to the implied cost of such cuisine, even
more so in Japan.
"Ranma 1/2: my favorite! Saffron and Phoenix Mountain, here I come."
Tenchi became instantly lost in a world of super-powered martial
artists and the villains that plague them.
In Tenchi's case, art was about to imitate life.
$Sorry, I think that life imitates art here. Or in all
actuality, art
imitates other art.
EEK! Good catch! Thanks! ^_^;;;
Washuu walked out of the 'utility closet' and looked around. She
strode into the dining room. No one. She peeked into the kitchen,
expecting to at least see Sasami.
"Moshi, moshi?" Empty. "Damn, where is everyone? I've got to get out
of the lab more often. Should've checked my monitors, too."
$What?! Tenchi made a choice already?!
:P WASHUU: Man, I REALLY gotta get out more often! Sheesh!
"It's a really *long* story, but in a nutshell, it's about this
martial artist with a curse. The curse turns him into a girl
whenever he's splashed with cold water. He turns back with warm or
hot water. He's also engaged to the kami know how many women, all
arranged by his father (who's also cursed, but he turns into a giant
panda). He, Ranma that is, also has women who aren't engaged to him
chasing him around."
"Sound familiar?" Washuu quipped.
$Tenchi: No, wait, you haven't heard the best part yet.
*snicker* Listen,
*snicker*, he *snicker*, he thinks HE has problems! BWAHAHAHAHA!
LOL! Yeah, that could happen. :)
Washuu snickered as she watched Tenchi tear out of the house. "He's
so much fun to tease." She picked up the discarded manga, looking at
the girl on the cover. "A *complete* sex change with every splash.
Sounds like an interesting diversion. Just what I needed to chase
away the blues: a redhead. Can't beat 'em!"
$Sure you can, but they usually beat the crap out of you in return.
That has the ring of personal experience. Personally, I like redheads. And no,
I'm not a masochist. ;)
"Yes!" She touched one of the characters on the holographically
displayed manga page, and the figure became highlighted in bright
blue. "Load all instances of this character, extrapolate to three
dimensions, average, and display." The machine complied.
"Ewww." She tapped her finger against her chin. "Okay, modify model
$Heh. Nice touch.
:)
"Now for the inside. Hee-heeeeee... Let me see if I can improve on
Mother Nature just a bit..."
$Heh heh heh. My sentiments exactly. Can't wait until I finish my
genetics degree. 'You mean you want to play God?!' 'Play? Whaddaya mean,
play?' ^_^
Hehehe. If *anyone* can do it, it's Washuu.
"AAACK!!" Washuu's fingers flew over her own console, trying to halt
the procedure. A holo-computer panel sprang up, and she read the
following line: "Interruption of process has an 86.7385% chance of
voiding test subject. Do you wish to cancel the process?"
Without even thinking about it, Washuu hit "NO". She put her face in
her hands and waited for the procedure to run its course.
$HAH! I love it.
Thanks. The Mihoshi-hat mechanism is more than a little contrived, but there
you are. I'm still thinking about possible ways to lessen the contrivance, but
we'll see.
"WAAAAHH!" Mihoshi began to bawl. Feeling suddenly strange again,
Tenchi leaned back against the stairs and closed his eyes as the
female cast sighed and helped the crying Galaxy Policewoman to her
$Hmm, nah. My suggestion is to remove 'female cast' and
replace it with
'the other girls'.
Yes, that suggestion has been made and is a good one. Will do.
"What've you done with MY Tenchi?!?!" Ryouko demanded. "Fess' up,
ojouchan, before I stroke you with this!"
$Tenchi: So soon? But I haven't had time to get use to the new sexual
impulses of this body!
ERRRK!!! Hey, man. Give him, ERRR, her time to decode those impulses first. :P
"ITAAAIII!" Tenchi screamed. "That HURT! I don't know what your
prob... lem... is..." Tenchi stared at Ryouko's hand still resting
on the breast. "Ano... what ARE these?" He reached up and
tentatively squeezed the two objects sitting under his shirt. The
$Tenchi: Hey, this is kinda fun. *Starts gently squeezing
and prodding*
Others: AHEM!
Tenchi: *distractedly* Be with you in a moment...
CUT TO COMMERCIAL... :)
"COOOOLLLL!!!" Sasami had finally put all the pieces together, and
her very high-pitched exclamation cut through the argument. Everyone
looked at Sasami's wide, smiling eyes. "Tenchi-niichan,
er, -oneechan, um...! Anyway, how did you get a curse like Ranma's?
Can I get one, too? Gee, what do I wanna be? I'm already gonna be a
spaceship, someday, so that's out. Ryou-ou-ki has cats and bunnies
covered... sort of. I don't think I wanna be a boy. Hmmm... Magical
Girl?"
$I think she's already got that covered as well.
:P
"Te-Te-Tenchi?" Ryouko asked in an unsteady voice.
"Hai. It's me."
"How... how..."
"Wait a second, Ryouko." Tenchi closed her eyes with a grimace and
slowly, ever so slowly reached her hand down to check...
$Tenchi: WHOOO! Damn! That felt weird! *starts to stick
her hand back
down...*
It's nice to see that OTM! is appealing sufficiently to the H contingent. :)
Tenchi's eyes flew open. "WAAAAH! It's GONE!"
Ryouko clapped her hands together twice and bowed, silently saying a
Shinto prayer.
$Heh heh heh.
Yeah, that seems to be favorite little spot. :)
Mihoshi started bawling, and Washuu immediately felt contrite.
"S-Sorry, Mihoshi-dono."
Tenchi jumped as Mihoshi gathered her up in a hug, easily picking
her up off the floor and mashing her face into a generous breast,
and started bawling at the top of Tenchi's head. "I'm so SORRY,
Tenchi! I can't do anything right! WAAAH!!"
$Ah, but you're making up for it now...
:P *Author scratches the back of his head...*
Mihoshi bent down to look her in the face. "I'm so sorry, Tenchi!"
"Noooo worries," Tenchi said slowly, slack jawed and eyes glazed
over. "I'm just peeeachy."
$Ryoko: *sultrily* I could eat a peach all day.
No comment. :)
"Uh... yeah, heh, the universe." Tenchi scratched the back of her
head, making her breasts bounce... a lot. "Ow. That's
uncomfortable." Tenchi grabbed her jiggling breasts with splayed
fingers to stop them from moving. Aeka and Ryouko boggled, but
Tenchi didn't notice.
$Heh heh. Wonder if he'll be willing to wear a bra.
See two paragraphs down...
"Of course I can!" Washuu huffed, then deflated. "But it'll take me
a while. I didn't, er, rather, the simulation was run on the idea
that it be permanent, so I didn't leave myself a lot of outs, errr,
$it would be permanent
Yup. Or some similar fix.
but hey! No problem! Just have to wait until I can figure out how?
Right? Right?"
She was greeted with three half-lidded stares and one look of
confusion. Sasami was still looking Tenchi over. She figured it
would be fun having Tenchi as a big sister *and* a big brother at
the same time.
$It's always the little kids that ruin the best laid plans.
Kids have their priorities, too.
Tenchi raised an arm and scratched the back of her head again,
causing more interesting motions on her front. Ryouko noticed, and
her gaze got much steamier. Tenchi gave Ryouko a funny look, and
then she looked down at her jiggling chest. She jerked her arm down
and crossed it with the other over her attributes, blushing
furiously.
Aeka felt sympathy for Tenchi. Female royalty shouldn't have to be
subjected to... She started, realizing she was thinking of Tenchi
like a sister.
$Well, that pretty much answers that question.
Don't be *too* hasty. She may be having some initial problems, but Aeka is
probably capable of, er, rising to the occasion. Remember certain facts of her
culture.
"Well, that was different," Tenchi observed. "It's really weird when
you're paying attention." He pulled his now-black tresses around.
"And I kept the long hair. Weird."
Ryouko floated over. "Is it still gone?" She began to rub her hands
up and down his torso, gradually moving lower.
$Tenchi: Hmm, hold that thought. *runs off to the bathroom*
Time passes.
Tenchi: *walks back in, wiping his hands* Yup, it's back.
Oh, ack. Ewww. :)
Ryouko shrugged. "She really dodged around saying."
Tenchi sighed. "What am I gonna DO? I've got school tomorrow!"
$If I had a curse like that, I'd never leave the house. ^_-
I'm innocently whistling, if you can't hear it. :P
Ryouko looked at Aeka and blinked. "Huh?"
Aeka pointed at Tenchi's chest. Ryouko looked down at her arm still
moving on autopilot, "EEP!", then sprang away.
$Heh.
It's been a trying day for all, albeit it for very different reasons. :)
Tenchi forced her head up and gave Ryouko a disappointed look.
"Oh... huh?" Tenchi examined her body. "YAAAH! I'm a girl, again!
How did THAT happen?" <And I suddenly WANTED to be fondled!> "ARGH!"
"As to how it happened... guess," Aeka deadpanned.
Tenchi closed her eyes and nodded. "Mihoshi-san."
$Tenchi: *sigh* Sorry, Mihoshi, but to preserve my manhood,
you've got to
go. It's been real. *pushes her out the door*
Awww, now, that's not terribly IC for our favorite wimp in the girl
department. :)
Aeka put her hand to her mouth. "I... I'm not sure. I was worried
that she might have, um, felt... violated?"
"WHAT?!?! SHE?!?!?!" Ryouko was beside herself, figuratively
speaking.
$Not literally in this case?
Nope, which is why I put in 'figuratively'. ;)
Aeka put a hand to her forehead. "I find I have a headache. I do not
wish to speak of this any further. Good night!" She climbed the
stairs to her room.
Still fuming a little, Ryouko looked around at the mess while Sasami
cleaned. Unsure of what to think or feel at the moment, Ryouko bent
down and helped her 'little sister' sop up spilled soda. Mihoshi
began to alternate loud 'snorks' with regular snores.
$At least they weren't smurffs.
Hmmm... Nonono. No smurfs. ACK! Oh, no...
:P
"Ohayou, Oyaji." <Huh?> "EEP!!!" Tenchi clamped her hands over her
mouth and looked up at Nobuyuki. Her father's jaw was now down to
his bellybutton, a thick string of drool hanging out of his mouth
and pooling on the tile. Tenchi noticed that she was sitting in a
very unfeminine position, legs spread and giving her father a rather
unrestricted view of her unmentionables.
$Contrary to the opinon of some, incest is not the best.
Has anyone told Nobuyuki? Ack! Nono. :)
Nobuyuki nodded and sat down on a wash stool. He stopped and thought
for a second. "Long hair?" He rapidly shook his head. "I must've
been seeing things."
$Yeah, I rather suspect he got a nice veiw, at that.
:j
"I just can't deal with school today." Tenchi turned around, and
Katsuhito enjoyed the rare sensation of two comfy breasts squishing
into his palms. He barely resisted the urge to squeeze.
$Selfcontrol or no, I would have.
No comment. :)
"OOO-HO-HO-HOOOOO! What do we have here?"
$Ryoko: They're called tits, moron.
If it had been anyone but Katsuhito saying that...
Tenchi jumped back, crossing her arms over her chest. "JIICHAN!"
Katsuhito, hands still out, blinked at the redheaded girl in front
of him. "Eh?"
"Ooooo!" Tenchi stalked out of the room and up the stairs.
$"Ooooooh..." Tenchi moaned and staggered out of the room and up the
stairs. ^_-
Hehehe. He's still decoding. :P
Katsuhito lowered his hands and looked at everyone quizzically. "Who
was that lovely, healthy young vision of femininity?"
Sasami was the only conscious person not trying to pick up their
lower jaw. "Ummm... that was Tenchi-nii, er, -oneechan, um..."
Katsuhito raised both eyebrows for half a second, and then he
resumed his normally inscrutable demeanor. He nodded his head and
hummed, and he turned and walked out of the dining area. The
remaining household went about cleaning up Mihoshi's mess,
occasionally stepping on the prone form of Nobuyuki.
$Were any of them wearing skirts? If so, I bet he wasn't unconscious.
Hmmm, I think you may be on to Nobuyuki's real genius...
Katsuhito stepped out of the utility closet with a distant look on
his face. Hearing the TV on, he quickly schooled his features and
walked into the other room.
Everyone was downstairs. Tenchi had obviously elected to not spend
his day off from school in bed,
$Nah, he preffered the bathroom.
Down, boy! :)
<She'll be good for him, if I'm reading that correctly, albeit a
handful.> He sighed. <The fallout is not going to be pretty,
though.> He brooded on the elder of his two sisters as he climbed
the stone steps leading to his place of work.
$Just what does he do there, anyway? Meditate?
Oh, he sees to the spiritual needs of folks visiting to the shrine.
~~~~~
Tenchi was enjoying the relative quiet engendered by his, er, state
$Bad pun. ;p
Awwww. :P
and was enjoying being able to watch television in peace.
At the commercial break, Sasami left the room to get some snacks.
Tenchi watched her leave and then returned his attention to the
television. A part of him sensed when Sasami re-entered, but he
didn't look up. Cold water abruptly washed over him, and a giggling,
little blue-haired girl stood there, an empty glass in hand.
"Sasami-chan!" Tenchi complained.
$Tenchi: That wasn't very nice! As punishment, you must do
all the chores
for a month! What? Why are you laughing?
Hahaha. If this were a spamfic, then yeah, that would definitely work. :)
"Yeah?"
"Are you not going to change back?"
"What for? Sasami, or someone else, will just splash me again,"
Tenchi grumped.
$A little early for giving up, isn't it? Although he may
have got that
from watching Ranma.
True. There's probably a lot of unconsciously preconsidered responses to that
situation just from exposure to Ranma... in a manner of speaking. ;)
Tenchi was almost sorry she'd looked. She absently rubbed her legs
together, feeling the rough cloth of her drawstring pants against
her soft skin. She was also feeling decidedly warm. Tenchi exerted
some self-control and focused her attention on the television. It
was another steamy scene... with two women. <Oh, great,> Tenchi
thought sourly.
$<Oh, great,> Tenchi though happily.
Er, no. He doesn't *want* to see that, at the moment.
They were kissing passionately and slowly disrobing each other. The
lighting faded until only silhouettes could be seen. The taller
$Is it just me, or would it be a bit odd for three women and
a young girl
to be sitting around watching that kind of show? Or is it common on
japanese daytime TV? Tenchi doesn't count, he's really a guy.
Dunno, for sure. They certainly get up to some interesting things on daytime
TV; the demographic of all those repressed housewives and all that. Japan also
tends to be a bit more liberal (from a Westerner's point of view) with regard
to nudity and all that. Someone once described it to me as a whole lot of
"bared breast over folded sheet in moonlight". I tried to keep that in mind
with that scene.
woman pulled the other's shirt down over her arms, and she kissed
the rise of Tenchi's bare bosom. Tenchi then began unbuttoning
$Cute transition.
Heh.
Ryouko's shirt, but Ryouko then pushed Tenchi down onto the bed and
out of view of the camera. Without realizing it, Tenchi's
imagination had taken over, filling in for the missing visuals.
Ryouko loosened the drawstring to Tenchi's pants, and her hand slid
downward over Tenchi's smooth stomach. Gasping and needy, Tenchi
spread her legs, and Ryouko gently touched--
"AAAAAHHH!!!" Tenchi leapt to her feet, panting and staring at a
startled Ryouko. "Don't *LOOK* at me like *THAT*! Now I'm all
*HORNY*-- MMMRRFFF!!"
$HAH! HAH! I love it!
Yup. Her mouth, er, got away from her for that critical second. :)
Tenchi had slapped her hands over her mouth... too late. Everyone
$Tenchi: *pauses breifly* Hmm, what's that strange taste on
my hands? A
strong aroma, kind of musky... *realises drawstring has been undone* EEP!
Errr, this is barely lime, man. :)
else was still confused at her outburst, but Tenchi's eyes bulged as
Ryouko slowly smiled in feline satisfaction.
$The ultimate sexual technique. Get your partner off without
even touching
them.
Bingo!
END ONNA-TENCHI MUYOU! CHAPTER ONE
$Damn, that's it? Come on, hurry up. This is hilarious!
Thanks!
Very few mistakes, nice idea, nice execution, ARRRRRG!*
ARG?
Overall, it does seem a bit predictable, although easily done
well enough
to be worth reading. Sometimes, a nice bit of stressless reading is just
what the psychiatrist reccomended. Throw in a few hilarious situations at
school and make it at least over five chapters, and I could see this going
down as one of the greats.
Thanks! High praise. Yeah, I wasn't intending a really deep probing of the
various issues with the TM! cast, although I suppose the potential for it is
there. I'm *trying* to keep it light and titillating. ;)
*Highly enjoyable. ^_^
Thanks, Kichigai! I appreciate the public C&C. ^_^
BTW, when are we going to see more "Two Halves Make One" or "Two Types of
Liars"?
Ja ne!
Dave
*******************************************
D.F. Roeder
FanFiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html