Hi!
Just a few comments on the fic:
Not bad stuff, but why the attempt at the 'surprise' ending, there? Problem
I had with it was, not only could it be seen coming from far away (whenever
someone writes a fic with nothing but ambiguous personal pronouns, it's
obvious there's a surprise meant at the end), but does it really add
anything to the story - other than incredulity?
While the fic brings up some interesting possibilities (mainly the morale
question of whether its justified to knock off twenty million people in an
attempt to bring peace; or whether might makes right; or whether Akane's (or
any individual's) idea of a perfect world would be nice to live in), it
doesn't really tackle them; and the revelation at the end that it's Akane
who is the Peacemaker is almost sillier than it is surprising. Or that she,
having become Superman, could actually bring herself to slaughter millions.
Or that Cologne, Saffron, or any of that lot would even bother training her.
I dunno, it's a try for surprise that, for me, anyway, really didn't work.
That's always been my problem with stories that are built around a single
concept surprise ending: usually if it's such a surprise, it's because it
really, really unlikely - which is fine for a comedy, but in a serious
fic...
That being said, wouldn't mind seeing a crossover: hey, imagine having some
DBZ guys swing by and teach Akane-cum-Peacemaker a lesson or two about
megalomania!
Later,
Mike Noakes
noakes_m@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/noakes_m
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