As AMG is my all time favourite manga I look forward to reading new AMG
fics.
He looked closely at Belldandy's face to make sure that she wasn't under
some wayward spell or enchantment.
As if he could tell if she was? How about "... to see if... " instead of
"... to make sure..."
"Hmm. Let's see if we can make it a long night of working hard then,"
I don't think that worked. Perhaps "... PLAYING hard..."?
He then moved on to her lips. This was something he had only dreamed about
before.
In case you're interested, he HAS kissed her lips before.
"I'm glad to see you're getting to first base, but I don't advise trying to
get a grand slam right now."
Since it's 'first base', shouldn't it be 'home run' instead of 'grand slam'?
I'm so, so, so sorry Onee-sama.
Bell uses oneesan.
I just really wanted to get everything moving before something else comes
up and interrupts us.
If that's the case, she should have blasted Urd outta there before she
announced herself!
She assumed it was the normal lunacy that pervaded the temple and continued
with her soldering.
That would be more Bell's attitude. Heh.
All in all, this story is light and sweet. I hope you know where you're
going with it.
PS, I haven't recieved any mail from the FFML in 24 hours. What about you?