From: "Douglas MacDougall" <dougmacd@dougmacd.net>
To: "Werness, Charlie" <h17@sjnma.org>
CC: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [C&C][1st try: series][Ranma]Life-prologue
Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 21:04:39 -0400

> chance of a family, or even a friend, there.  The mallet
> of doom speaks for itself in those occasions.  Nabiki...three words: > yen hungry monster.  Nothing else to say.

What mallet of doom?  I think you're imagining things,
or have read too many fanfics.  Try reading the comics
and see how many mallets there are.

Well, for some reason I decided to flip through my manga
collection and do just that.  In all, a mallet appears in 11
of 198 parts of the story.  (There are two parts per manga
issue, and 11-13 in a graphic novel).  Akane uses a mallet
against Ranma in three of these, and uses it to save him in two.

Also, except for the Wishbringer saga, and perhaps when Ukyo
used one on Ryoga, mallets do not appear as if by magic.
Normally people bring them along, or one is within reach.

This doesn't mean that Akane doesn't hit Ranma, but ussually she
uses her fists, a table, a mail box, a rock, a kettle, a spatula,
a bike or... no wait a minute there, that's not always Akane.

Anyway, that's off the point.  We're talking mallets here.  So
now for 'A Brief History of Mallets in Ranma 1/2':


First appearence: 'The Love of the Black Rose'

Kodachi ambushed Akane by dropping from the roof with a mallet.
Akane lept out of the way.  Later, while Akane was distracted by
Ranma chasing P-Chan, Kodachi attacked from behind.  Akane kicked
the mallet out of Kodachi's hand before it could hit her.  In a
blizard of rose petals, Kodachi left the room, and the mallet.

A mallet isn't shown again for some time.

(Writers of 'possessed mallet stories' take note, this may be a
good explanation for the origin of such a weapon.)

Second and Third Appearences: 'Embraceable You' & 'Hold Me Close'

With Soun and Genma are out training, Nabiki going out and Kasumi
leaving on a trip, Akane was left home alone with Ranma and a
cold.  So, in case Ranma got out of hand, Kasumi gave Akane a
mallet and Nabiki advised her to stop while he was still
breathing.

Coincidentally, Shampoo tried to use pork buns laced with
hypnosis mushrooms to make Ranma hug her whenever she snapped her
fingers, but Kuno sneezed at the critical point.  (Kuno had been
trying to pass his cold onto Ranma.)

Later, after Ranma glomped onto her because she sneezed, Akane
used a baseball bat, dumb-bell, frying pan, training sword, bow
and arrow and the mallet.  However most of this took place off
picture and the mallet was merely show embedded in the floor.

When Shampoo showed up in cat form and Ranma lept into the furo
with her, Akane is show to use the mallet for the first time,
raising a bump on his head.

When Akane had been subjected to the power of the hypnosis
mushrooms, she began to appologise for hitting Ranma -
unfortunately Shampoo sneezed in the middle of her appology, so
she malleted Ranma again.

In the closing scene, with Akane sitting at the table with
various weapons, the mallet wasn't anywhere in sight.

Fourth Appearance: 'Serious Side Effects'

After Akane had been cured of the Super Soba, Ranma continuously
arm wrestled her.  This was after he said, "now you're the Akane
I know, and well... I'm glad," which she had taken to be
romantic.  It turned out he'd just been holding a grudge.  The
closing scene showed Akane crawling after a gloating Ranma while
holding a mallet.

Fifth Appearance: 'Gonna Make You Tardy'

During 'Tardy Student Punishment Week', Principal Kuno ambushed
the students to stop them getting into school on time.  At one
point he waited at the gates with a mallet.  Of course, with
Ranma planting a foot in his face as he passed through, the
principal never actually got to use it.

Sixth Appearance: 'The World's Weakest Man'

Akane attempted to get Happosai to reveal the cure for Ranma by
pounding him into a pancake with a mallet.  She never came close,
althoug Soun managed to get a strangle hold when he heard that
the heir to the Tendo Dojo was made weak.  (Kasumi sweetly
advised her father to be sure to stop before he killed him.)

Seventh Appearence: 'Weak For Life'

A still weakened Ranma attempted to get the cure off of Happosai
by going girl and wearing a girl's sports uniform to lure the old
master out, then tried to pound him with a mallet.  Unfortunately
(s)he couldn't lift it.

Eighth Appearence: 'The Great Rematch'

After Ryoga recovered from Ranma's first Hiryo Shoten Ha, Ukyo
tended him.  In order to make sure the poor guy got some sleep,
she applied a mallet to his head.

This is the first and only time a mallet appears out of nowhere,
although it _could_ have been part of the Saotome's camping
equipment.

Eighth and a Half Appearance: 'Step Outside'

At one point, poor little sick boy, Yotaro, hit Ranma with two
little mallets.

Ninth Appearance: 'Akane Guesses the Secret'

In order to remove the Mark of The Fighting God, Ranma had Ryoga
flex his stomach to change the shape of the mark, then clobbered
him with a mallet in front of the lady's club.  Akane believed
that the secret the boys had been hiding was that Ryoga had been
planning to entertain the ladies club.

Tenth Appearance: 'When You Wish Apon a Sword'

Kuno wished the Wishbringer to humble Ranma.  It turned into a
mallet and thus surprised Ranma long enough to provide an
opening.

Eleventh Appearance; 'May I Cut In'

Despite featuring in Ranma's plan to get the Wishbringer from
Kuno on their date, Akane is the one who winds up using one on
Kuno to save a drugged Ranma from a kiss,

Summary:

Well, that's it as far as my manga collection goes, which is only
until the end of the first Pantyhose Taro adventure.  More mallets
may appear later in the series, and I may have missed   a few while
skimming through my collection.

1> Kodachi vs Akane
 - no hits.  Akane disarms Kodachi
2> Akane vs Ranma
 - given mallet by Kasumi
 - mallets Ranma for 'taking a bath' with Shampoo
3> Akane vs Ranma
 - mallets Ranma for hugging Shampoo while she's appologising
   for hitting him.
4> Akane vs Ranma
 - stalks a gloating Ranma with intent to mallet.
5> the Principal vs the Students
 - attempted to ambush with intent to mallet - Kaoed before use.
6> Akane vs Happosai
 - attempted to get a cure for the Moxibustion of weakness.
 - unable to come close to hitting Happy.
7> Ranma vs Happosai
 - unable to even lift the mallet thanks to the Moxibustion.
8> Ukyo vs Ryoga
 - used as a sedative.
8.5> Yotaro vs Ranma
 - 'weak' boy uses two mini mallets.
9> Ranma vs Ryoga
 - removed the Mark of the Battling God.
10> Kuno vs Ranma
 - Wishbringer became a mallet.
11> Akane vs Kuno
 - saved a drugged Ranma from an amorous wolf (Kuno).

Normally, I'd agree with you, but since your characterizations
already seem to be off, I'll point out that Nabiki feels very
strongly about her mother; there is more to her life than money.

> Kasumi...she was so nice, but when it came right down to it, she was an
> airhead.  At least, that's what it seemed like.

If she's nice, does it make a difference that she's an airhead?

> Ranma had caught a few glimpses of remarkable perception and intelligence
> from Kasumi, but he could never get her to
> admit it.  Kasumi had too many secrets, too many masks, and too many false
> smiles.  Ranma just didn't feel comfortable
> around her anymore.

I like this idea.  Too bad it contradicts your previous
airhead remark.

suggest:  Kasumi... She was nice, but when it came down to it
 he didn't know what to think of her.  Ranma thought he had
 caught a few glimpses ...

Well, next time I'll prove that Kasumi is actually observant,
malicious and manipulative...





...or maybe not.

Graham :)
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