Another paper due, another bout of C&C.
Procrastination, the spice of life.
Re:[FFML] [FFML][BGC][2090] Forgotten Tales I - Nene's Last Journey
Date: Mon, 8 May 2000 22:30:48 +0100
From: "Alex Gray" <hitomi@ndirect.co.uk>
Organization: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Subway/7630
To: "ffml" <ffml@fanfic.com>
Comments:
<This meeting was the beginning of the tale - the tale of those
forgotten
vigilantes who were called the Knight Sabers.>
A decidedly different opinion than the one I advance in "Mote" but
probably more likely.
<How ironical that only the night before we had just finished
celebrating our sixth year together>
I'm not entirely certain, but I think you can use ironic instead of
ironical. Sounds more grammatical, 'n stuff.
<His name was Leon. He was a friend, an ally and very nearly the
one to whom one of my sisters had given her heart. He had known about
us for almost four years, and during all that time he struggled to
accept what it was we were trying to do. He was an officer in the ADP
you see - a very good one. And as such, there was always a quiet
discomfort in the way he regarded us, even in the way he felt towards
my sister. Perhaps, it was that discomfort that bought the two of them
closer... I do not know, and I do not suppose it matters now anyway.
However you look at it, we were the ones who killed him.>
A great bit of discription regarding the relationship between the KS and
Leon.
<I remember how startled I was to hear that this young girl
had... how did Linna put it... "kicked Sylia's arse"... Yes, that was
it. That as well should have warned me that this girl was a lot more
than she first appeared to be.>
Nene: That alone should have alarmed me beyond all comprehension.
Good flow so far. You've introduced a whole bunch of characters and
their relationships in a fashion that remind me of the prolouge to a
longer story...could it be?
< The truth behind that Evil which seduced Linna and changed her
into the monster that killed thousands.>
Eeek! I take it we haven't gotten this far in the mainline 2090 stuff.
<It was her... and I will _never_ forgive her that even though I
know the woman who was once my best friend is long since dead.>
I hope you aren't giving all the 2090 surprises away in this piece.
Great emotion here, though.
<I will be back in a moment.
Click.
** End of Nene's Last Journey.>
Interesting ending to an interesting story. I like the fact this is
accessible to people not following the rest of 2090 without boring those
of us who have been following it.
Good story. Recommended.
Re:[FFML] <Fanfic><Tenchi>What Might Have Been Chapter Nine: The
Beginning of the Tale
Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 02:03:10 -0500
From: "Platinum_Dragon" <Platinum_Dragon@usinternet.com>
To: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>
Comments: I'm including commentary on the epilouge as well.
I liked this series a great deal. There was a sense of loss that
permeated the whole thing, and the parallel outcomes issue was
wonderfully handled. The bit with Kei containing Ryoko needs a little
more explication but aside from that the entire series is well written
and well plotted. Formatting was joy as well. The mother bit at the end
is TV Tenchi, obviously, though I did find it strangely humorous. And,
of course, Tenchi decides on a mate, Ryoko, which was definately a long
time coming. Great series, recommended.
Re:[FFML] [fic][NGE] Nerv-Una 3
Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 10:15:39 -0400
From: Lara Bartram <lara@emunix.emich.edu>
Organization: The C*b*l
To: ffml@fanfic.com
Comments: Very funny stuff. I liked the Ethical procedures joke.
<Gendo: [grinning slightly] I think we know what to tell them.
Fuyutsuki: [nodding] Riiight. It'll be hard to do an inspection when
they're just a puddle of goo.>
This is pretty damn funny too.
<Ritsuko: That's right. You need someone to take care of those damned
robots...
Gendo: [to MiBs] Pistol-whip her. But be careful with her face.>
At first I started laughing because he said 'pistol whip' but then it
was hard to stop. I'm going to go to hospital now. I've damaged my
diaphram.
Jerico
Fnord